>>/1174/
Everyone's experience is unique so there's no normal way imo.
> how can I draw from my own experience without understanding what I am?
First, are you a thoughtform or an aspect?
Second, which flavor of mental illness does/did your host experience?
If you have zero mental illness and you don't consider yourself a thoughtform of any kind then you could be an alt or aspect of the host. It's a small distinction but such systems are very vehement about it.
My system contains only one tulpa in that only one thoughtform was created by us. Two are soulbonds in that they were well developed characters and kept their forms and backstories. Three are three walk-ins from day one. I had a system of 4 very well formed unique, volitional and vocal in 20 minutes. I would say they originally expressed as soulbonds but didn't keep their backstory or forms and didn't identify as those characters after day one. One in particular identified as my guardian angel that I always thought I had since about 5. She's the one I actually tried to make.
> I think a lot of tulpas lack a sense of agency.
I agree, the general tulpamancer has a paper doll without volition, independence or agency and they don't even believe such things are possible since they never experienced it.
Such systems will fail eventually.
> I feel like I am still made out of lots of bits all glued together, but maybe that's just a normal personality?
This is the definition of a persona, a collection of groups of situational aspects. That's normal, you just see the seams in the jigsaw puzzle. A personality is all possible dependant personas.
I don't agree that headmates need their own life. I forbid it, so regardless that's not happening. If they want their own life then they can work the 12 hour days. I have two jobs.
[Ashley] we're really ok to just be here for our host. It's always been that way.
[Joy] I wouldn't want his body. It's a fine body for a man, but it's not my style.