2/2
And if you think you're the only one who can brag with IRL loli stories you're mistaken.

> be me

> be in Germany

> neighbor single mom be like 'hold my loli while I go shopping'

> mfw


So basically this woman I also know for about 20 years increasingly loads off her 7 year old slightly dimwit daughter to me. Well she asked me multiple times if I wasn't bothered by her because that girl doesn't understand the concept of personal space or privacy and just home invades me on a whim now. Over the fence if necessary. You know, give them an inch and they'll take a mile. So yeah, at least as long as no other kids are available, said loli has become a bit overly fond of me. Which is less fun than it sounds for several reasons. 

Now to the main point, things got very awkward yesterday. Parents and Bears see kids as angelic beings and kids know how to behave in the presence of adults. But when the cat's away, the mice will play. I've seen it with my former loli gang as well. Clearly I do not fall into the category of 'adult' for those girls which should be slightly alarming in itself.

I already said she’s really nice to me but a bitch with other girls. And as soon as mom was gone her personality shifted and she realized she can say whatever she wants now and ‘shit’, ‘fuck’ and ‘pussy’ became increasingly frequent in her vocabulary. Not in a hostile way at all, she just clearly enjoyed trying out increasingly bad and forbidden words while telling me some mundane stuff mixed with utter nonsense. Kids love to test the boundaries of what’s acceptable. And especially girls like to manipulate others with words. But that was just the beginning.

Keep in mind, girl is barely 7 and I don’t know her that well. We’re just distant neighbors.
While sweeping my garden with a big wooden broom she pretended to be a witch riding the broom. Suddenly stops and grins at me. ‘Imagine getting this wooden stick into your pussy! Do you think this fits into my pussy?’ *points at loli pussy*
What the actual fuck? I’m not making this shit up.
Alice decided it was about time to get this conversation on track again and tell her that’s not an acceptable thing to ask but I was saved by my cat which drew her attention away. Things remained relatively civil until her mom picked her up a bit later but still there’s definitely something odd about that girl. Even for German standards. I mean she often runs around butt-naked (yes, even into my house now) and would probably follow any stranger that walks by. And her mom is both overprotective and utterly naive. Well at least there’s also a dad somewhere and grandparents so I’m not in any danger of inheriting that loli. Still gotta keep more distance from those people. They’re nuts. So far every single female that was fond of me turned out nuts, regardless of age. No exception.

This is why I have no-nonsense loli tupper who is 100% sane and reliable. Kids are monsters. And if you ain’t a monster tamer they will eat you alive.