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>>/4123/ >>/4122/ >>/4114/ >>/4113/ > You will get yourself and the entire party into serious trouble beyond my capabilities to resolve. If I'm that much of a disturbance for wanting something I can call my own and not be in someone else's debt then I'll leave. That will solve everyone's problems. Cat will know that she can accept me as part of her tribe, as odd ball and kooky as I am, or she can reject me, and if she does I'll respect that as a cat-sister. I'll be sad, but that will be my own choice to make. I'm done being everyone's doll. Say this quest, say you take it and I'm not there, you get less money overall because you have less bodies, if I'm there I can help as long as I'm not a burden, but some of that money will be mine, what I officially earned will be mine, some of that loot will be mine at your discretion. I said I would happily loan you what I don't need for my barest essentials, but when we have a windfall I'll want you to repay me because I don't want you in my debt either, loot excluded, you tell me how much or what I can or can't have, but if you give me anything, it's mine. You gave me these clothes, they're mine, I'll sell them or keep them or throw them out. Obviously I don't want to offend you, so I'll be respectful. > But if this is unacceptable to you we will work out something else. YES YES Yulya yes! A ray of sunshine breaks through the clouds, she's illuminated in such a way that she looks both regal and beautiful. I want to work something out with you and Cat and Alice so we will all be happy. I want to play this game with you but I'm my own person, as insane as that sounds. > I do not mind giving you your fair share at your own disposal and I certainly will never take money from you against your will but keep in mind doing things your own way gives you a tremendous responsibility for the party. I will not let you down, or at least I'll try my best. Only the gods know if that'll be good enough. > The same goes for your equipment. I'll take care of my own, don't worry about me. I'm more resourceful than you think. I'm still thinking all kinds of things and learning as I go. I aspire to be MVP and not a burden and not in your debt or you in mine. > Anything goes as long as you can convince the others your choice is right but please try your best to coordinate with everyone before making decisions on your own. I'll do my best to work with Cat, I really like her and I want her to be okay with my as I am. I can't be someone I'm not. You handle Alice. If she's nice to me, I'll be nice to her, but if she's not then don't expect me to bend to her will to placate her, especially not after how she's been treating me and speaking of me this whole time. I don't have any hope that she'll trust me and I don't need her trust. I'm only asking for yours. If that causes so much trouble that you hit your breaking point, again, there's an easy solution to that, and I'll be sad, but I'll be my own person. > I am glad we had this talk Ashley and while we may disagree I value your opinion and I will try my best to find a way that makes you happy. I'm sorry I'm so difficult, I'm sorry I feel like a burden and an obligation, I'm sorry I can't just go along with everything exactly how you so carefully planned, but regardless of what Alice says, I do care, in my own way. Who knows, some day I might feel comfortable with it all but not today. Today I feel exposed and beholden and torn and tramples and unwanted and unneeded and a burden and an obligation and it's not comfortable. > But Alice and Cat may see things less lenient. Alice can go pound sand if she doesn't like it. I will listen to Cat and do what I can to come to an agreement with her and I hope with all my heart she sees the light like you did. I appreciate you 10x more at this moment than I ever did. I know you heard my wishes and I know you care now. > I pray your choice will not tear this party apart even before our first quest! You and me both, but I can only be me and try my best to get along.