>>/62957/
I've been told by other people that knew her well that she literally said she likes being vindictive and I'm sure she's admitted to psychopathic things on telegram, I mean she literally skinned a squirrel and a raccoon and even held its heart in her hand recently. I remember before I even knew what BPD was telling her that she was idealizing me and it felt like I had to fit into her idea of me I swear to God. Near the end she also said it was like walking on eggshells and other BPD traits to me but at that point I already realized what she was doing so I didn't internalize any guilt from that thankfully, her example of me gaslighting her was me not wanting to tell her she oversalting the pasta once. She would passive aggressively bring up like saying I love you and trust you because you are my boyfriend but mmmmm you did gaslight me and lie, something apparently I was the first to ever do to her. I would tell her sometimes she would make fun of my education because I went to a community college and then she would make me give examples which is hard when it's just her using a specific tone of voice or something so innocuous it makes me look pathetic for even bringing up. I did say she was mean and that did offend her and only because apparently she's been told the same thing before. She also got off on humiliating me and others so it doesn't seem so far fetched of her to like being cruel.
>>/62959/
I don't want to give specifics on my personal life but I traveled with my family, after that was when I would comment on her private videos and on Twitter after she would be all nice and then switch up and say something horrible and block me before I could respond, I found those YouTube comments she called essays and they were me just calling her out basically, not much different than this. I never called her names or anything, I wanted closure at the time and she specifically would taunt me with that.
I already cried with her physically in my room because of my brother and she didn't emote at all and even got annoyed at the idea of me still living there as if I had any other choice, plus I don't think about it like that, I mean I don't get triggered or anything.
>>/62960/
Yeah I was trying out journaling, literally once btw and within a week she saw it and told people about it. It was kind of helpful because I had no one to talk to and it helps set away thoughts I would ruminate on and waste time thinking out all day. It was basically me talking like I am now just trying to get it all out, I did say I wanted her to suffer but she took that out of context because I said I didn't want her to suffer but I did want her to understand how she made me feel so that's why I even would attempt to call her out to her. That was in passing too because most of those like three paragraphs at most where not focused on her but on me obviously since I was tired of torturing myself with all of these feelings and memories I didn't know what to do with. I deleted it a couple days later because it felt stupid but she had read it by then. It's called expensive writing but I don't think that's what I needed at the time. Alot of it involves bringing up stuff you don't want to talk about as a form of emotional disclosure. Anyways doesn't matter, just a little offensive because this was semi recently and honestly didn't even involve her as much as it sounds, I wanted to move on past her and deal with the issues I got as a result of her.
>>/62961/
The breach of trust and subsequent abuse