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No. 775321 [Preview] [Reply]
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Got a Helen breast to cook up tomorrow. How should I do it? fried with some eggs and made into a sandwich?
No. 775337 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775336/
Not him, but I did a big poo this morning so that I didn't have to do one at the lawyer's office. They'd probably take me to court for doing a clogger.
No. 775352 [Preview] [Reply]
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I was very used to seeing 4chan image filenames starting with 16 but it seems they have crossed to 17 now. Time waits for no NEET. Marches ever onwards.
No. 775356 [Preview] [Reply]
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Good morning cum skins 
Just did a zoom interview with a recruiter. Was hoping she could place me in a warehouse by Monday but she said she'd have to send my resume out to the clients. Gay as aids.
No. 775361 [Preview] [Reply]
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Is it just me, or is the mr big range at kmart getting more exclusive? It used to include 4xl, but now 4xl is in the regular clothes area and mr big starts at 5xl.
No. 775373 [Preview] [Reply]
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Woke up distressed and out of sorts. Having a black instant and a big glass of water with two hydralyte tablets dissolved in it. Feeling the pressure, need to go for a jog soon, the temperature is rapidly rising.
No. 775379 [Preview] [Reply]
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Gotta leave for the mong doc but I'm intermittently squirting out of my arse. Potential for another catastrophe.
No. 775389 [Preview] [Reply]
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I don't mind the Witcher but I'm not as madly in love with it as I was with Skyrim. Might go back to a modded playthough of Skyrim but keep W3 installed.
No. 775412 [Preview] [Reply]
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These supermarket catalogues are all too long. I only want to know about the half price specials. 40% or better.
No. 775413 [Preview] [Reply]
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A fat cunt on my 600 lb life broke his toilet by sitting on it. He was 800 lbs though which is 362 kg. A full 2.5 webers or 2 nuros.
No. 775414 [Preview] [Reply]
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I wonder what the story is behind the rise of "Mrs Mac" and her pies, if that is even her real name.
I had never even heard of her ten years ago, now she is everywhere.
No. 775415 [Preview] [Reply]
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If you win on the chinaman and then give the winnings to his daughter for a wank did you gamble at all? Where is the sin? Was the wank the gamble all along? Or was it the friends we made along the way?
No. 775460 [Preview] [Reply]
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I think if Cruisey reports inaccurate Chinaman results it would be because he has deceived himself first. The losses are repressed by his brain as soon as they happen. He actually believes that he wins.
No. 775466 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775460/
I take money, without my wallet or in a separate spot. I have got carried away a few times but it's hard to fuck up knowing what a red or yellow note is.
No. 775471 [Preview] [Reply]
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I bought two $5 scratchies and one of them won $7.
I am starting to think these gambling games might be for mugs.
No. 775473 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775469/
I bet cruisey carries a big bossman size roll of five dollar notes with him every and slips them to people whenever he wants things done. And it makes the gook ladies swoon when he does.
No. 775474 [Preview] [Reply]
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IGA was once a high flying NEET dining on the finest tendies and bottled goons, he even had aspirations to owning an eeb! but then his life was struck down by the curse of scratch and win gambling and he degenerated into the loathesome wretch we know today.
Take heed of this moral tale NEETs, alwats wear a condom when gambling and tip your hat to Dan.
No. 775481 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775459/
I’m not him. Just had time to kill before the mong doc 
The guy next to me looked like a propped boss man. Pants and shirt, hand full of 50s. That’s how I imagine cruisey
No. 775482 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775479/
I'm still waiting to hear the story of how nuro's involvement with ufos caused him to flee the helicopter mechanic community and become a bicycle repairman.
No. 775485 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775482/
They probed his fingertips and now any complex machinery he touches breaks for no reason at all.
He is cursed forevor by the insidious aliens.
No. 775498 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775481/
How were you betting? 
What machine? 
I went on a random one this morning 50 in and went through about 30 before getting the feature which iirc was just back up to 40 odd, then slapped the dynamite guy around and left with 75 out, then this afternoon 20 in did the lucky train one and got the feature first spin but only on 50c bet and there was 30c change still in the machine. I think that's bad juju. Got to 40ish but then put it in the high stakes one (has 20 free games and can get free games in free games but low normal wins - I've had around 80 consecutive free games) and lost it.
No. 775506 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775498/
Played the golden dragon one. 50c spins, 5 lines. Still not sure how that works entirely. 
I got $11 from the feature and gambled. Could have sworn I pressed black and it was black. Somehow lost still. Might have chosen a suit accidentally.
No. 775515 [Preview] [Reply]
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You put 50 bucks in you take twenty bucks out
You play the fuckin pokies and you scream and shout
You put 50 bucks in and take 20 bucks out
And that's what it's all about
No. 775517 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775506/
You want to do the first on the top row and the last on the bottom row. 
Lines (bottom row) are how many ways you can win. Each line costs however many credits you are betting on the top row. 
So 1c bets, on 50/max lines = 50c a spin. 
That's better than betting 10c on only 5 lines but I've seen people bet like that and win. 
A person I know usually bets 10c on 30 lines, that's $3 a spin though.
No. 775518 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775517/
My sister used to work at a casino and she told me it was very common for old asians to piss themelves because they were sure a winning streak was coming up on the machine and they didn't want to miss it.
No. 775521 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775518/
They are the only people I've seen sit there and do 5c bets for hours.
You can win jackpots on any bet, I guess that's what they're waiting on. 
A feature or free games would be like winning $2
No. 775530 [Preview] [Reply]
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At the NEET Commune we shall feed the Execs laxatives and gamble on which one will poo themselves first.
No. 775539 [Preview] [Reply]
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It would be awful being NEET in the Fallout universe.
We'd probably live in the sewers until the hero runs through and shoots us all.
No. 775548 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775479/
You need all sorts of qualifications for that shit and he doesn't have anything of the sort. I find it hard to believe he went from being an avionics technician to a bike chain luber second class.
No. 775552 [Preview] [Reply]
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Can't stop scratching my balls. I will often fondle my neetstick or balls a bit whilst sitting at my computer before going back to typing as though nothing happened. I at least have the decency to wash my hands after wanking though.
No. 775559 [Preview] [Reply]
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> Start watching 600lb life
> Turns out the first person weighs 700lbs
This fat fuck needs to lose 150lbs before he should be allowed to star on the show
No. 775561 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775549/
One time when I was working as a space station mechanic on Cloud City I overheard Nuro explaining to IGA that he was actually his father it was all very emotional.
No. 775565 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775556/
My favourite bit was when he knocked his piss bottle onto the ground and the indian nurse started crying and said she had never seen anything this bad before kek.
No. 775567 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775559/
Steven Assanti is 800 lbs. Some of them are so big they can't get on a scale. I saw one where even the special industrial grade fat cunt scale wasn't enough because he was too damn big. Dr Now speculated he was one of the heaviest alive.
No. 775568 [Preview] [Reply]
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Could one of the NEETs bring an extra large pair of vernier calipers to tonights meeting please, because all attendees will be checked to make sure they have not been pre-gaped before admittance.
No. 775578 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775569/
he got kicked out of the hospital because he was abusingthe staff and he kept ordering pizzas which they said was contrary to his weightloss plan. He was meant to continue the program from a nearby apartment his dad set him up with but he instead was rapidly gaining weight because he kept buying fast food and he didn't seem to understand that juice contains energy. Dr Now cracked the shits with him because he developed a painkiller addiction and he told his black nurse Princess that he was thinking about getting more off the blackmarket. Dr Now wants him to go to drug rehab before he starts losing weight.
No. 775582 [Preview] [Reply]
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One day, sixteen hours and fifty four minutes since my final cigarette. Feeling depressed, anxious and hurt.
No. 775583 [Preview] [Reply]
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He has so much fat that even his FUCKING FEET are fat. They remind me of nuro's hands in that regard. But he is so fat that his feet jiggle when they move. Incredible.
No. 775591 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775488/
I'm sure IGA had many interesting things happen in his younger days, it's just that he can't remember any due to loss of brain cells. It is what it is.
No. 775601 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775598/
He had a special hospital bed in the medical campervan thing they were moving him in but it went over a bump and he full on broke the bed. They had to prop it up with besser blocks to finish the journey. The nurse was amazed. I wonder how big the biggest mong cruisey has ever wrangled has been.
No. 775606 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775603/
Imagine all the fat rolls you could take advantage of. All prelubed with sweat and bacterial secretions. You could wear your neetstick down to a nub and never use the same slit twice.
No. 775614 [Preview] [Reply]
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Only got that chicken on Saturday so it should still be good. Perhaps it was all that fresh jalapeno that did it?
No. 775644 [Preview] [Reply]
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I didn't make a return trip to the chinaman. Their ATM was out of order or something so I just went home. 
The mong doc prescribed me mirtazapine, off-label as a sleep aid. Naturally I don't want to take anti-depressants for sleep (or anything) but I'll give it a go, at least for a little while.
No. 775673 [Preview] [Reply]
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Steven Assanti was in the back of a golf cart being ferried along but he fell off and is now screaming.
No. 775819 [Preview] [Reply]
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If iga put the same effort into real bait he might catch some fish.
And then he could fuck the fish and use them for a pillow.
No. 775825 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775824/
Nah iga bashed him and then all the neets said what a great guy he is and then a blonde with huge tits sucked him off and then we told him what a great guy he is again.
No. 775840 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775207/
Fuck me just read this post.....
> He likes to use the board for escapist fantasy. 
Dont we all ?
He can pretend he is some successful normie with a job, a gf, lots of friends and money etc. 
I have a job, dont need a GF, and i have friends and money
> IGA reminds nuro of what he himself is.
No IGA is a piece of shit
> This is more or less what he admitted in the open love letter to IGA. 
No the whole point of the letter was to say with all my skills and intelligence and luck  i barely made it out of the NEET clusterfuck, and you with all all failings are just fuckjed. You will never amount to anything thing. Get used to the bottom pal. 

also fuck NOfun with his univesity masters bullshit, he is still in scholl and thinks he is better than everyone too
fuck that chinkoid uni arsehole..begone
No. 775859 [Preview] [Reply]
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going to do something else
this schitzo crapflood hasn't let up since I got home an hour and a half ago
night
No. 775862 [Preview] [Reply]
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It will always be funny to me that nuro claims to have a job yet is homeless whilst a jobless IGA can still afford a house and a milkcrate. kek
No. 775881 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775877/
Get a new routine you fucking mong we know it's you it's always you because it was you the last 9001 times you did exactly the same thing the same way.
No. 775889 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775878/
You know there has never actually been any evidence that IGA was there...
You and tiffin have convinced yourselves he lives there but have never actually had a reason for it beyond your own HUMILIATION at living in a PUBLIC TOILET.
No. 775894 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775883/
Nuro was and is banned but bigUNNA is too much of a boong to actually enforce the rules. Allowing it to come back just trains it to ignore the rules.
No. 775899 [Preview] [Reply]
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Imagine being so desperate for communication that you troll yourself on an unemployed Australians board.
No. 775902 [Preview] [Reply]
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All this effort and we don't care.
Just kill yourself already you know you're oing to one day so why not today.
No. 775909 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775899/
Well he hasn't had a woman smile at him in more than TEN YEARS so no wonder he is desperate. Nuro and IGA are like that pair of penguins that were put together but otherwise isolated and turned homosexual due to their solitary lives.
No. 775911 [Preview] [Reply]
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Does anyone else imagine him cackling like a loon with spittle flying everywhere when he gets like this?
Kind of like a crackhead witch hybrid.
No. 775913 [Preview] [Reply]
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Nuro was talking about suicide a few days ago and IGA has talked about it before also.
I am genuinely worried about one of them doing it.
No. 775923 [Preview] [Reply]
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Hey nuro and iga if you both kill yourselves we promise to tell other people you were great guys afterwards.
No. 775925 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775914/
I think he has given up on escaping bosslady's toilet and is instead trying to create the illusion of wealth by buying fast food and op shop cds.
Milkcrate man is a mentally ill squatter cooking on a gas stove from bunnings and he is still financially better off than nuro.
No. 775937 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775925/
> Milkcrate man is a mentally ill squatter cooking on a gas stove from bunnings and he is still financially better off than nuro.
 Um IGA you just crossed the line into INSANITY
No. 775942 [Preview] [Reply]
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Nuro's open (love) letter is still one of the most EMBARRASSING things he has ever done. Even compared to the obese tv reflection, pan shitting incident, or heart attack, that was the worst. He just confessed the reason he hates IGA is because IGA shows to nuro what he could've been.
No. 775948 [Preview] [Reply]
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That latex glove comment still makes me chuckle. 
He must be angling his trotters deliberately like he does his food and desk trinkets in an attempt to pass it off as ironic. It isn't working. 
The husky helicopter dunny man
No. 775956 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/775948/
Yeah, when you consider all the sodium from the fast food, his collapsing veins from the drugs, and his heart being fucked from the heart attack and lack of exercise it is no wonder that his hands are so puffed up.
His face is the same way. It makes him look like he has been stung by bees all over. Very sad to see.
No. 775960 [Preview] [Reply]
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I've started butter my bread in the french way where you get a big chunk of butter on the knife put it on the bread and then bite it off. It is much better and easier than trying to spread it.
No. 775974 [Preview] [Reply]
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Nuro would be harmless if he wasn't goaded by malicious NEETs.
He would just post his photos, you'd give him a "Based" and that would be it.
No. 775994 [Preview] [Reply]
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There is some units near me that are all pajeets and when i walk past on bin day the bloody stench of them.
I swear they shit straight into the bin.
No. 776003 [Preview] [Reply]
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Having an early feed then bite the pillow harder than FRM getting boned doggystyle by her BF, can't take anymore of Weber's bullshit tonight.
No. 776010 [Preview] [Reply]
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Remember NEETs, we shall be checking for pre-gapes before tonights meeting and any NEET found pre-gaped will not be allowed to take part in the after meeting gaping party.
No. 776030 [Preview] [Reply]
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Industrial seedoils, microplastics and vitoestrogens have decimated the modern mans bunghole. 
Embrace a natural diet for a chux-free lifestyle!
No. 776040 [Preview] [Reply]
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I have to say waiting for Gods judgement NEET for someone with such strong views you do not seem to have much of a grasp on matters theological.
No. 776087 [Preview] [Reply]
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I have been watching Mad Men again and I want to be Don Draper when I grow up.
He drinks like a fish,has sex with everybody, does whatever he wants and everybody likes him.
No. 776102 [Preview] [Reply]
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I can't be bothered with this anymore.
Kill yourslef iga there isn't a single person on the planet who wants you alive.
G'night NEETs.
No. 776155 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/776153/
I have 20 minutes to finish my mondster, get dressed, and then drive to the city. I have to see 2 different businesses for 4 hours each, so no lunch break for me again.
No. 776166 [Preview] [Reply]
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Who is the laziest cunt on ausneets? I thought it was me - I once tried to wash my car by squirting detergent on it before a rainstorm - but then I thought the really lazy cunts wouldn't even wash their cars. They probably haven't even learned to drive.
No. 776178 [Preview] [Reply]
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Morndings 
Slept easily and properly. Guess you could say I'm officially off the big mong pill. Feels great. 
Time to seize the day.
No. 776179 [Preview] [Reply]
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> "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of gum"

Tomorrow night on ausneets is They Live (1988) the story of an unemployed homeless guy who discovers his country has been infiltrated and taken over by an evil alien race who hate the locals and are ruining everything. Directed by John Carpenter and starring some scottish wrestler.

Then on Sunday, the murder mystery Knives Out (2019) - when a bestselling author is found mysteriously dead, Daniel Craig is brought in to investigate.
No. 776183 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/776181/
You're fucking kidding. How could a guy with a name like "Rowdy" Roddy Piper not be scottish? You'd think he'd qualify for citizenship just with that name.
No. 776184 [Preview] [Reply]
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They have taken out all of the service counters at my coles except for the two for the ciggie counter.
They hadn't been used in years but it's still a bad sign.
No. 776188 [Preview] [Reply]
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4 microwaved butter and vegemite crumpets down the breakfast hatch.
The microwave is better for crumpets than the toaster.
You put the four crumpets down on a dinner plate then add a generous spreading of butter. Microwave for two minutes on high (no paper towel).
Butter will now be melted and crumpets moist and soft. Then you add your vegemite. The heat of the crumpets makes dabbing it on very easy.
Eat crumpets by tearing large pieces off. Do not forget to use crumpet pieces to soak up any excess melted butter on the plate.
Thank you.
No. 776196 [Preview] [Reply]
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> On Thursday, a man began stabbing children in the city center outside a school prompting five people to end up hospitalized. 
> The stabbing led to riots all over Ireland, as it is believed that the man who stabbed the victims was an immigrant from Alegria.
In Australia nobody would riot and instead the news would be filled with shit about the evils of islamaphobia and racism and how diversity is our strength.
No. 776205 [Preview] [Reply]
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looks like there is literally nothing normal to eat in the adelaide cbd
fucking gook dog food and wanker places only
No. 776213 [Preview] [Reply]
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https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/food/eat/coles-shoppers-left-confused-over-security-measure-picture/news-story/eddab93ab7cb7d6a232b0d67b8653723
No. 776214 [Preview] [Reply]
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I left the bins only half cleaned. It was too hard. I will give them another cleaning on a hot day. It was a mistake to do it today, there is mud everywhere and the sun is not out to dry them quickly.
What I really need is a pressure washer, there is some very difficult brown slurry stuck to the inside of both bins.
I will have to get the big bad scrubbing brush out next time. Real elbow grease required. The overnight soak had very little effect.
No. 776217 [Preview] [Reply]
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I have worked out why they only gave me 8 Wicked Wings instead of 10.
Whoever picked the order used the wrong size box - it was too small. So only 8 fit in it. But instead of transferring them to a bigger box and adding the other two this bitch just said "fuck it" and sealed it up with eight in it.
It wasn't a mistake. It was a malicious act. I should have complained.
I will mourn those two lost wicked wings for some time longer.
No. 776219 [Preview] [Reply]
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Have been messing with the settings for one of my new subs, the new settings I tried have given me scary amounts of low bass, the only problem I have is I have to unhook it and bring the amp inside to connect to my pc to make adjustments. With the two dual voice coil 15 inchers I already had and one more of the new ones to setup I think I finally have enough bass.
No. 776243 [Preview] [Reply]
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Signed up for a gym, my gut feeling is that no good can come of this but Pete proved me wrong last time.
No. 776249 [Preview] [Reply]
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Six inch subway and a coke in the shitty food court. I hate the CBD. Non-whites and cunts who can’t keep left or walk at a reasonable pace everywhere.
No. 776255 [Preview] [Reply]
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Walked from the Myer centre to the foyer of the next job and my chest is heaving and I can’t catch my breathe and every inch of unclothed skin is covered in sweat. I must look a right spectacle.
No. 776259 [Preview] [Reply]
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When did black friday sales become a thing in Australia neets? I was just down at the local shopping centre, was the busiest I've ever seen things.
No. 776260 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/776207/
> Pending a reference check
If you gave the neet council as your reference you can sleep in on Monday. They make sure nobody ever leaves the crab bucket.
No. 776262 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/776259/
We copy all American trends eventually. It happens faster now because of Social Media.
Are there any good bargains today? I have not seen any. Often they raise the price just before they discount it. Scam.
No. 776266 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/776262/
I don't know - but there were lines of people outside of all the fancy handbag and jewelry stores. I was just there for a milkshake - although it was the most challenging to get milkshake I've ever had in my life.
No. 776280 [Preview] [Reply]
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Dad is outside talking to the neighbour. They're both ranting about immigrants and the weak justice system. Very right-wing rhetoric about western demographics.
Based
No. 776287 [Preview] [Reply]
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Might redistribute gophers with bus hydraulics and bariatric pressure cussions with high quality heat saver boxes, big enough for three zinger boxes.
No. 776292 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/776289/
Nuro is too pillbrained to write properly. The fact he has whatever learning difficulties he was diagonosed with at school probably doesn't help. He had a massive tantrum last night and will probably continue today.
No. 776298 [Preview] [Reply]
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Two young ladies knocked on my door to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.
There was an attractive brown one (pacific islander maybe) and a horrible white one.
I told them I was not interested then the horrible white one told me she was sorry for waking me up. I have been up since 8am thank you. Rude.
No. 776299 [Preview] [Reply]
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I really should stop answering the door. Nothing good ever comes of it. If I am not expecting a delivery or a visitor I may as well just ignore it.
I can't see who is there from any of the windows. I have to open the door which is very poor design.
No. 776305 [Preview] [Reply]
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> Keep wondering how the aliens in Aliens could've cut the power. Hudson was right, they're just animals.

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