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Neets, report in! How have your first few days on the wagon gone? What have you changed so far in 2024? We're here to help push each other's wheelchairs into rehab.

OLD:  >>/796411/
> /ausneets/ nazi book club nibbling on homemade sausage rolls and discussing lost flying saucer technology
The neighbour ambushed me when I was putting the bins out. Told me they would be collected tomorrow. It is a day later each week because of the Christmas and New year's Day public holidays.
This is two weeks in a row they have bin mogged me.
I chatted to the neighbour for a while after I was ambushed. They are having a pigeon problem. They keep building nests in their window shutters.
I finished watching Hunter x Hunter. It was good but the finish wasn't strong. Ended up feeling a bit rushed. Some odd plot choices.
 >>/797489/
The development of the show nearing the end is slow as it always has been. Extra content was added to the newer version of the show because he finally wrote it
https://hiatus-hiatus.github.io/
 >>/797523/
I'm about to fucking kick it like monk did the dog.
I've tried three browsers on two operating systems and it doesn't work. No fucking wonder Australian businesses are dying when their sites are so poorly made.
Thank you whichever neet posted porn on a blue board without a spoiler. 
The person behind me at the shop saw booba
I accidentally opened news.com.au
It was habit. I didn't open any links.
I did look at the headlines though. Scrolled all the way to the bottom.
Looking at those nipples again. Hilarious. It's at the very top of the tit, almost on the actual chest. 
Women are so retarded
A lot of the time the women fuck their tits up by not doing the right things after surgery.
They get told what they need to do but are too lazy and the tits become misshapen.
On the phone to jobsmax.
Cunts called me, then put me in a kue. I'm gong to walk to their office and yell at them, it's what everyone else does and now I see why.
 >>/797565/
People often shame men for not going to doctors and being forthcoming about health issues but so many women are just as retarded in dealing with their own
Diabetics not taking their insulin, mong chicks forgetting their schizo meds, women in general being fat and ugly, etc. 

We need 1 year of national service for men and 1 year of domestic training/fat camp for women
All the NEETs will be required to complete a 10 minute course on the correct and safe use of firearms and a 5 minute course for rocket-propelled grenades, to help us defend the commune from Boong and mong attacks.
After six weeks of daily cardio my lung capacity has increased. Breathing feels weird sometimes because when inhaling I will hit the point where before I would have stopped but now I just keep going.
I did not realise how bad things had been. It took this change.
I feel much better.
 >>/797573/
 >>/797575/
Went the schizo route and lodged a formal complaint against jobsmax. Knowing how the system works I complained about something petty but easily evidenced, which will woe jobsmax for many months because that's how slowly complaints are resolved.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-01-04/pacific-highway-stranded-chickens-rescued-coffs-harbour/103282578
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https://vocaroo.com/1g4uhzN7NfAu
BUT...THERE IS ONE THEY FEAR!!!
GRUSSYKIIN
GRANDPA PORN
*REDEEM SAAR*
Bootyful
Pls show bobs
Do needful
Oh mai God
Your compooter
Has Wirus
Call sooooon
Bloody bitch
Go down hill
You will Ack-ci-dent

Grussykiin
Grussykiin
Greatest man ever been
British Shocked
India Rocked
Pakistan we shall burn
Israel my best friend
Muzzie scum we'll upend
And when the sun goes down
Grandpas hind I shall pound!
Gymed. Up in all. There was a female downie there. Their stocky frame gives them huge asses, I had forgotten. Could see her underwear through the leggings too. I wonder what sexing a downie is like 


 >>/797604/
Do you think I just sit here browsing ausneets all day? Do you see any posts from me today? 
Note that imissfather is still around, and NONE of you cunts have volunteered to act as BO.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
I offered to resume BO duties now that my circumstances are more settled but when I told imissfather that I no longer had access to my old email address he wrote "oh well" in such a nasty way that I was completely deterred.
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Just put a plastic container the mince came in on the hot stove, where it started to melt and fill the kitchen with toxic fumes. Why am I such a mong guys?
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Just put a plastic container the mince came in on the hot stove, where it started to melt and fill the kitchen with toxic fumes. Why am I such a mong guys?
 >>/797648/
The fumes give you brain damage, further increasing your chances of creating more fumes in the future through acts of mongery. The mong cycle sustains itself.
mong question - is it important to clean the outside of your cooking pots? I've noticed there a layer of grease on the outside of mine, and it gives off kind of a smell when I cook with them.
 >>/797621/
Nice VPN you got there you rangebanned faggot. 

When we profiled IGA originally we noticed this odd behaviour of the trouble maker appealing to authority. It’s from its childhood no doubt. But the main question remains is this all a game to IGA ? Or does he honestly believe in every way his behaviour is rightfully and justified.
I only have 2 whisky glasses left and one of them has a chip in the rim.
This could lead to a difficult decision if I have a guest.
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/dating/i-tried-the-marilyn-monroe-effect-for-attracting-men/news-story/1da52523ed718615bb7c0e7d6754cf3f
 >>/797688/
During the Christmas madness when the lines were snaking around Dans I noticed a section of glassware I had never seen before. Usually when I go to Dans now I buy a random glass set.
NewsNEET: try a chrome addon called stayfocusd. I've had it on for the past 5+ hours and didn't go on youtube or twitter. 

 >>/797735/
B1/Thiamine for goon recovery 
Magnesium for mood and back pain 
Zinc for big cums and sexual prowess 
Valerian root for sleep (does nothing)
 >>/797764/
We call it one basin and two basins girl.
With the one basin girl you put the basin onto her head.
In case of the two basins girl you put one basin on her heda, and you vomit into the other.
I can't be bothered linking the articles, but the Australian media is reporting a story about some kid "beating Tetris for the first time ever" even though it's NES Tetris he was playing and AI have gotten to higher levels before the NES version locks up.
 >>/797796/
Yeah, but NES Tetris came out in 1989 and real Tetris came out in 1985. So nobody has bothered to fact check any of it. Why is NES Tetris THE version?
How do you pronounce "quarry" as in the target for a hunt?
Someone on the TV pronounced it so it sounded like query.
 >>/797588/
Every time I've been, it's had volunteers working there. 
Got a bottle of grubbs lemon lime and bitters, some sarsaparilla drops, which I gave away. They smelt nice but tasted like sugar, with a burning sort of thing on my mouth. Kind of medicine like. Too much syrup.
Also got wine gums and sugary watermelon things.
He died 
> In June last year, the Cockle Train was involved in a crash with a truck along the line at Middleton that left several passengers with minor injuries.

> The previous year, a woman and her two children avoided injury when their car collided with a train on the same line.

Cunts are going to try and take it away.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-01-04/pedestrian-hit-by-train-on-steamranger-line-near-victor-harbor/103285606
https://www.news.com.au/world/north-america/jeffrey-epstein-allegedly-offered-money-to-disprove-stephen-hawking-orgy-claim/news-story/4ffd4839bc5835f2c801aea0ff97c6b7
> Jeffrey Epstein offered money to disprove a claim that Stephen Hawking participated in an “underage orgy”, it has been revealed. 
wew
I wish I kept that convection oven receipt. It really should have lasted longer. I hadn't used it much.

Cheap shit.
I get to a limit with what they would do partying. 
Not all of them would be into the pedo and cannibal stuff.
Imagine snorting pcp off of a snow leopard rug and shooting elephant guns at boats on the horizon.
Suddenly Detergent Jones looked up, the tone of the room had changed and not for the better.
A foul and familiar stench upon the air.
> Women like smart guys
No, they want good-looking guys
> Women are attracted to 'bad boys'
No, they are attracted to physically-attractive men
> Women want a man who can make them laugh
No, they want someone handsome.
Back from the gym. Making good progress. This massive amount of food intake thing is working oddly enough.
 >>/797846/
I think Epstein actually offed himseld. They just allowed him to do it. He was the ultimate hedonist, he hated discomfort. His life was just pleasure all the time. Prison would have been excruciating for him way more so than avergae joe blow. I think they just let him off himself.
> A lot of these people don't understand how much time and effort goes into this, and there's no payment for it at all
A thankless job 
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-01-05/riverland-forum-online-community-takes-toll-berri-sa/103267424
Got some petrol and took her to the supermarket. It is funny watching their brains break when Motherbat hands them a mixture of notes and coins.
Morning 
Have started putting my phone out of reach from the bed so I have to physically get up to turn the alarm off again. 
So far so good.
 >>/797958/
I use an app on my phone called Alarmy that gets louder and louder until you do some specific action like scan a barcode or solve some calculations.
The tricks we need to employ just to get ourselves up in the morning.
The absolute state of modern society.
People used to live without any clocks at all.
 >>/797965/
I have sometimes found that my particularly evil brain will make me get up 30 minutes before to do a piss and then want me to disable the alarm
no energy today, haven't been this woe'd since we had to listen to the first 15 minutes of bronze age mindset on womboflix
Glad I looked in the mirror before I went to the shops.
I have 4 days of stubble on my head and it was covered in towel fluff lol.
Could really go a couple of macca's triple cheeseburgers right about now. If anyone's going to maccas, can you pick some up for me please.
Watching Tucker's video with Epsteins brother. 
Need Nuro to comment on it before I make myself look silly.
 >>/797982/
Nuro will casually refer to something that never happened as though it did and we were aware of it. For example he has started claiming that PostieNEET was a creation of IGA and that we all worked it out together and agreed that was the case. He is genuinely mentally ill.
 >>/797990/
> he has started claiming that PostieNEET was a creation of IGA and that we all worked it out together and agreed that was the case.

please site a post number to back that up. you cant.
> it is another episode of nuro talking about iga all day
Bye neets, I'll be back in a few hours when monk is up.
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Big mording.
Took Motherbat to Tanunda for a walk about. Took her to lunch at the 50's Diner place. There were two couples from the Corvette Club waiting outside for it to open. Had to introduce Motherbat to them.
She had a Houston boig and I had an Atlanta hotdog and we shared some chips and also both had choggy milkshakes.
Got some choggy and some stainless whisky cubes.
Having a hard solo in teh Cool Zone now.
I put some isopropyl alcohol on it. The cut had started to clot but I broke it a bit and rubbed it in. Am I in the clear now?
[to the tune of the wheel on the bus]
The poo up my bum is big and smelly
Big and smelly
Big and smelly
The poo up my bum is big and smelly
All through Big W
15 days of not touching my neetstick and I feel no different. No superpowers. My balls aren't any bigger or heavier.
Is the gook food they sell at supermarkets safe to eat? I'm always reluctant to eat anything made in china.
There have been lots of Lithium battery fires lately. I hope Numo remembers to unplug everything at the end of each day and leave sufficient gaps between things with batteries and other flammable materials.
 >>/798054/
Battery fires are misunderstood. The batteries are fine. The problem is the. Chink dogshit chargers made out of unshielded headphone wiring that have usually been bashed about that are hooked up to the battery. That is where is the problem starts. A Bosch or Shimano system has never caused a house fire.
Monk needs to get arrested in india and sent to a prison full of hot poojeta prison guards who will dominate him sexually. Maybe we could organise it for his birthday.
 >>/798053/
He is obsessed. He can't help himself.
 >>/798055/
> appealing to authority
I like this new meme. You were all for the heavy handed approach of imissfather but now that moderation is more neutral you're against it.
Remember when you said that you'd get those funeral photos and that the neets that didn't believe you would be banned for some reason?
 >>/798062/
He has fucked up pretty badly by being this inconsistent. Even if GOONDADDY comes back and starts banning neets they'll come right back because they know he won't last.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12927627/Peter-FitzSimons-backs-major-constitutional-change.html
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-12925443/Microsoft-adds-dedicated-AI-assistant-button-Windows-PC-keyboards.html
Throw out your keyboards, Monk, you need one with the new extra button
First leg workout since November. It's gonna be a wobly day 

 >>/798084/
Jokes on them, macos command key is infinitely better placed than control. I wonder if that key will just act as mod2?
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/dating/dating-sunday-why-january-7-is-the-biggest-day-of-the-year-for-tinder/news-story/d86e7d80dc328a672d8d977b06947ab9
As olive is no longer posting I have decided to make Jana the new Olive, I look forward to see what she dresses up like.
> https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/59648/1/south-korea-hikikomori-bribing-reclusive-young-people-leave-house
> South Korea to start paying young people to leave the house 
How much would you need to be paid to leave the house neets?
 >>/798099/
The company that makes those miniatures I do sells them in china under the slogan of "it will get them off their computer" and "outside other person interaction".
It's a fucking mad world when chinese mums want the kids to become warhammer nerds.
Browsing Reddit because I've blocked myself from Twitter until 10pm
Redditors are actually insane, and mostly likely brown
 >>/798128/
He once tried to tell me about why Brave New World is a better book than 1984 and he hadn't read either book which was obvious very quickly.
But he had just been in a reddit thread where they discussed it.
It was almost like he became reddit but with more conspiracy.
 >>/798178/
Summertime and the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin', and the cotton is high
Your dad is rich, and your ma is good lookin'
So hush, little baby
Baby, don't you cry
Might make a porn film about Eurasian women having sex with retarded guys.
I shall call it Honk Kong Mong Dong.
 >>/798206/
You would be wrong making freebase cocaine is an easy way remove whatever it’s been cut with and give you an idea of what you really payed for. 

Ummm don’t ask me how I know this, I read on Reddit somewhere……
Today's gym session will be my last for the week. 4/4 of the scheduled sessions for this week. Keeping up with my New Years resolution.
Got a nice new polo. Adding brown to the rotation. Half price too. Has a nice texture to it. 
Strong desire to boong. But it means I'll miss the gym tomorrow and I haven't missed it yet. Also need to ramp up the calorie deficit. 
Grinding my teeth and tapping my leg in goon anticipation.
 >>/798229/
just drive after him, pursuing him, forcing him to run for his life, but never actually hit him, and instead chase him until he drops dead from exhaustion
A lot of what they say at AA is bollocks but the one day at a time thing is spot on.
Just don't drink today, tomorrow maybe you drink maybe not but that is tomorrows problem.
Don't drink tomorrow
Some NEET get bouncy boobs
Other NEETs get moggery
Some NEETs do tiny Poos
While others practive cloggery
Went gym, not nearly as difficult as I've been led to believe. 
> already fitter than most of the executives in the gym
> if you use the machines wrong nobody says anything
> had air conditioning
> you get a copy paste routine when you sign up
> nobody bothers you, no instagram bullshit
Would recommend gym neets
Autopiloted 15 from GLs. 😩
There was a homeless cunt in there with dreads who literally had a staff. Like of those white boongs who has fallen into the homeless derro 'culture'. He was taking too long looking through some woolies bags for God knows what so GL served me first. 
We should probably round them up into derro camps for their own good. 
There were cops outside mirin my new polo.
 >>/798280/
Well done. It's far less intimidating than many people think. It's just the first session thats a big nerve wracking. 
Schools should teach everyone how to lift weights instead of gay dodgeball games.
Melons and milk. ...
Fruits after meals. ...
Beans and cheese. ...
Ghee and honey. ...
Tomato and cheese pasta sauce
 >>/798293/
Schools should just have physical development as a service, not a class or extra curricular.
Send kids to gym the same way you would send them to the school nurse.
> Defence personnel have overwhelmingly signed on to receive a one-off $50,000 government payment for committing to serve another three years.
> The up-front bonus, which is not tax deductible, was established in response to a defence strategic review and initially expected to benefit up to 3400 personnel within three years.

Why does no one join the military anymore?
 >>/798318/
He smelt like shit. And his mate could only afford one can of rum and coke, which the aryan wizard was apparently paying for. 
When I moved to put my goon bottles on the counter he didn't move. I had to move forward like he wasn't there for him to move aside. 
Was he trying to hold his spot at the counter? 
I really hope they bus these people out of normal society and clean up all the graffiti when they do.
 >>/798320/
I don't know why derros like them so much. I used to see bad homes drinking them outside the bottle-o. The cultured bludger goes for a Golden Oak at minimum.
Watching a youtube video where a black american sex tourist (stylised as "passport bro") promises to teach you Python if you buy his course 
Even in online scams blacks are hilariously bad
Spitting on female therapists and showing them my dick to disprove their infantile theories of rationality and normativity
Quoting the DSM-I regarding homosexuality and providing references to lobotomies to silly, inbred, brown skinned subhuman psyop influencer quote unquote psychiatric doctors regarding their interpretations of family structure
All normalfags forcefully dosed with significant amounts of lithium. Justice is served. 
'Oh but I'll be more informed next time hehe' - get in the van faggot
In 300
Out 750 
Confirmed 

NEETs be like "wheres your Faustian spirit" and I'm like 'have you played dragon link cunt?'
 >>/797410/
I want to say that the wagon got off to a bumpy start, but the truth is it hasn't even really started. The first few days of 2024 have been diet failures. So far today's looking good though.
 >>/798404/
I got a bread maker and used it yesterday. Made a brioche and a white loaf. 
Both sucked. It was like the yeast tray didn't drop until the second rising time.
I'm concerned that cruisey will get into debt with chink gangsters, and will end up using mongs as collateral.
 >>/798432/
> man found dead in Sculpture park this morning
> the responding officer is reported to have said "I don't even know how he got that bread maker up there!"
We need a new neetgen thread soon, and I'm far too busy with important shidposting so one of you will have to make it.
They are out there waiting for their taxi in the pouring rain. No umbrellas.
The woman has a raincoat on but the man has nothing. Just standing there getting soaked.

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