Welcome to /2hu/ anon, enjoy your stay and remember to worship our Lord and Saviour, Miko-sama.
It doesn't surprise me in the least, /pol/eddit is pure cancer.
Everyone knows the true master race are the Lunarians anyways.
You might have a better chance if you try Discord. The link is on the home page up on the top bar.
Are we finally gone? I don't want to go back to cuckchan.
Well from here on out we have atleast 4 options. We could wait and see whether 8chan comes back up eventually, stay here permanently, ask /a/ if we can get in their bunker like /monster/ and /tg/ did or go to the zeronet site that got heavily shilled on /v/ and glows like shit too
I'll wait one more day for an E-Mail reply, then ask in there.
By the way, did Ausfag or Tewi make it here?
Happy Cirno day!
Happy Rumia Day!
Happy Rumia day!
Any 8/2hu/ refugees here? Where have you all gone to?
THIS IS THE OFFICIAL BUDDHISM THREAD
IF YOU SEE ANOTHER BUDDHISM THREAD, DIRECT THEM HERE
> not a cirno post
Way to be a faggot, fairy
You fucked up
we'll never have the chance again
Sorry for bullying.
COME BACK, YOU FUCKS. I MISS YOU.
Blur - Song 2hu (twoo-hoo)
Because that's how it's pronounced.
Sanae was sitting on the Moriya Shrine's steps, reminiscing. She missed dreadfully all threesomes she used to have with Kanako and Suwako, but since she had grown breasts and pubic hair they didn't seem interested anymore. "Maybe I should buy a razor from Rinnosuke..." she sighed.
Suddenly, Kanako walked out of the shrine, massive tits bouncing with purpose. "Sanae! I have an assignment for you!"
"Kanako-sama!" Sanae hurriedly pulled her hand away from her crotch. "What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to go to the outside world in the past and kill Hitler before he becomes dictator of Germany."
"Okay!" Sanae saluted her goddess and flew away from Youkai Mountain.
Kanako sighed, watching her shrine maiden depart. "Why did she have to grow up? That ass is just too big."
After about five minutes, Sanae realized two things. First off, she had forgotten to pack any tampons. This was a bit of a problem, considering that she had just hit her period and was leaking menstrual blood all over Gensokyo. She imagined the shocked faces of villagers when the red, gobbety splatters hit them, and licked her lips. Secondly, she had no idea on how to go back in time. The dilemma bothered her for about seven hours, during which time she munched on random mushrooms she found
in the Forest of Magic. Watching Alice masturbate, however, she suddenly knew what she had to do. The dollmaker's moaning of "Sakuyaaaaa... Sakuyaaaa" while she fucked a life-sized maid doll made Sanae realize that elegant Izayoi was the one person who could help her. Sanae threw up the mushrooms, dismissing the dancing onions about her vision, and made off for the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
The sun peeked gently over the horizon, illuminating the calm waters of the Misty Lake. Fairies danced happily and played on the shores. Remilia walked Sakuya around on a leash.
Sanae alighted gently on the Scarlet Devil Mansion's front lawn. Hong Meiling started to approach her, a cheesy kung fu movie line forming in her throat. Her mistress, however, waved a hand, and Hong Meiling stood back. "Hello there, delicious Sanae-san~," purred the little vampire. "Won't you stay for breakfast?" Sanae suddenly realized how distracting her swollen love lips' discharge was, and crossed her legs hurriedly. "Um, well, I just wanted to ask a favor from Sakuya-" "If you let me have a little taste, I'll make her do anything you want." Remilia was drooling already. The menstrual blood of a living god was even better than a virgin's.
What had at first seemed a problem was now an advantage. "Of--of course!" Sanae giggled nervously, sitting down cross-legged. Remilia's nostrils flared violently, but her tone suddenly shifted. She whipped Sakuya's bare, gleaming ass with a cat o' nine tails. "Sakuya! Make me some tea immediately." "Arf arf!" The maid scampered off on all fours. A milisecond later, she returned, clutching an antique china cup with murky liquid in between her perfect teeth, and offered it to her mistress. Remilia placed it on the ground, and crooned "Sanae-san, please squat over the cup." Sanae did as she was told, and let a trickle of her sublime sanguinary slobber stream into the steaming tea. "That's enough," Remilia moaned, as she poured the tea over herself, letting a little into her mouth. "Sakuya, lick it off." The maid's tongue ravished the little vampiress, who moaned in ecstasy. "Ungh.... Sakuya, do whatever Sanae-san desires. And don't bark at her." Sakuya immediately stood up and bowed.
Sanae, mildly bewildered by the fetishistic antics before her, had been staring off into space. "Oh! Yes! I would like you to send me to the year 1904!" "As you wish."
The world melted around Sanae for a moment, and she passed out.
When Sanae woke up, she was at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The sun had just risen, the fairies were frolicking in the air, and Remilia was still walking Sakuya around on a leash. "Wow, things really don't change in Gensokyo," she remarked.
Sanae flew off to the Hakurei Shrine to ask the miko there to let her into the outside world. When she walked through the torii, though, she did not find Reimu Hakurei. Instead, she found a MILF.
"How may I help you?" asked the sultry, curvacous miko, her bare hips jutting out of her modified hakama and her massive breasts hanging out the sides of her shirt. The Hakurei miko furrowed her brow when she looked closer at Sanae, and asked "Are you a shrine maiden?" "Yes! I am a shrine maiden from the future," Sanae responded cheerfully, wiping the drool away from her mouth with the detached miko sleeve that gave her away. "Will you let me through the Hakurei Border?" "Yes, that is my duty." The Hakurei Miko shrugged, then bowed, showing off cleavage that could have held Makai. She parted the border like the goatse man did his ass.
Sanae flew through the gap in the shimmering border. Her journey across the world mystified people across Eurasia, causing some to herald the apocalypse. Only one of the doomsayers were perceptive enough to connect the rain of blood with the virtuous girl in the sky; he went on to write a book
that was banned in 45 countries describing how the Book of Revelations was just a manifestation of John's repressed fear of his sister's vagina. The book would have won a Nobel Prize, if it hadn't simultaneously offended and aroused all of the judges.
Sanae landed in Adolf Hitler's backyard after about 13 hours of flying. Covered in bugs and blood, she passed out on the lawn. Her last thoughts before falling asleep were "Wasn't I supposed to kill somebody? I can't remember who..." Her green eyelashes fluttered one last time, and her nubile frame slumped into the grass.
Adolf Hitler was going to pretend to be dead again. He had taken up this habit after his father had sent him to technical school, instead of art school, but so far the method of protest hadn't had any effect. Sighing, the 15 year old boy walked out into the backyard, noose in hand. Before his eyes, however, had appeared an incredible sight: a girl!
Not only was this the first female his own age Hitler had seen in months, this one had green hair and bizarre clothes. "What... who is this?" he asked himself in wonderment. He marveled at her perfect, exotic form. "This is... a goddess! I have to take care of her!" Displaying wonderfully German masculine instinct, Hitler picked up Sanae with no effort at all and took her into his house. He didn't even wrinkle his nose at her stench, which was now resembling that of a graveyard. Instead, he pressed his nose to her, and breathed in deeply. "So delicious..."
The goddess' eyes slid open, displaying lovely spring green irises. "Doku... atashi wa?" she asked sleepily. "Ack!" She pushed herself out of Hitler's manly arms, and started to run away. "No! Don't go, my goddess!" he shouted at her in German. Sanae stopped. "Goddess, did you say?" she asked in perfect German. As a child, Sanae had idolized Asuka Langley Souryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion, and had learned German to better emulate her. Sanae even insulted a local boy, then pretended to be
comatose while he masturbated over her. He was mostly okay with the arrangement, since he had humiliation fetish. He didn't really like having to wear his mom's flesh and fight monsters, though.
"Yes! A goddess sent from the heavens to heal mankind!" Adolf's brown eyes glittered with the glory of it all. "You are the most beautiful thing on this entire earth," he spoke fervently. Sanae immediately pressed her body against him. Finally, she was the goddess! Not just a living god, not just a shrine maiden, but a true goddess! Fuck Kanako's desires, she thought to herself. What about me?? Delirious with the glory of finally being a goddess, she started ripping off her clothes. "You will be my greatest disciple!" She praised this boy, and immediately began to grind her slippery, bloody love-spot against his rock hard paintbrush.
With great speed, she undressed Adolf Hitler, whose body was rippling with muscles from hours spent painting landscapes. Sanae pushed him down to the floor and shoved his 12 inch long, veiny groinstick into her seething, stinking vagina. "I am unworthy of such a wonderful goddess," he moaned. "You are the most worthy out of any being on earth," she countered, impressed by his glistening form and unflinching adoration. She held down his arms with her divine power and rode him like a magnificent stallion. Sanae's moans and screams could be heard throughout the entire continent, toppling great cities, while her stench caused every person within 1000 miles to drop unconscious. Hitler's family and house was blown away by the power of their fucking, which lasted for seven days and seven nights. Every five minutes they came simultaneously in an eruption of ecstasy. Soon they were floating in a lake of fuckfluid, embracing each other even more. They did every position, from the cowgirl they started with to fisting to the inverted Mormon. Their clothes and Sanae's hymen lay in tatters, having been used for all sorts of purposes.
But, Hitler, devoted as he was, was only human; so Sanae called upon the gods to make him divine. Hitler grew a massive, manly beard, and his dick became a pulsating fire hydrant. It was the finest wang in all of Germany, or indeed in all the world; and Sanae was immensely satisfied with it. So satisfied, in fact, that she fucked him for another week, during which the world wept in ectasy as it engaged in a billion-strong orgy.
Meanwhile, in the Suwa region of Japan, two goddesses were very concerned. First off, they were inexplicably fucking, when before they had been rivals. Secondly, a living goddess heretofore unknown was calling upon them to cause this bizarre sexual happening. They didn't recall lending any power to her; yet, here they were, scissoring like a sorority in Santa Cruz.
"Kanako," Suwako moaned, "do you remember anybody like this?" "No, Suwako," after which Kanako orgasmed for the 653rd time. "Aaaaaaaaaaaahgngngh. We should probably stop her before everybody, hah, dies of exhaustion," she said while Suwako started sucking on her engorged clitoris. For a couple minutes, the conversation stopped ike that, since it was difficult for Suwako to talk while servicing Kanako's orgasmo-tumor, and after that they did 69 for a joyous hour.
"We... need to go to Germany...." Suwako gasped out between orgasms, though her wandering hands seemed to have different ideas. Kanako only nodded, doing nothing to stop Suwako's tiny child's hand from entering her anus. They flew to Germany, copulatingly furiously the entire time. It took a month for them to reach Germany, because they kept stopping to participate in the orgies going on below. Flying over Siberia helped a bit, but populated areas near Hitler's home took up weeks. During this time, over half of the world's population had died joyously, while the rest kept fucking the corpses. It was mayhem.
When they finally arrived, Sanae and Hitler were swimming around in the lake formed of their blood, shit, piss, and cum. The fluid bathed them and entered every orifice, lubricating them for each bizarre activity they attempted next. "You! Living god!" shouted Kanako, her hands caressing Suwako's petite lips. "Stop doing this immediately! It is not a joyous act of love, but carnal sin!" Sanae and Hitler swam over, and began to start a fourway. What little resolve to end the incident that Suwako and Kanako had worked up melted at the feeling of Hitler's enormous girth entering them and filling them with his semen. They fucked and fucked, and the world burned.
> more logical than modern day south korean miko cults
> inb4 this memes into existence as a backstory to it proved by autistic lvl connections that could only be made by /pol/
You are now imagining that your shower is one of Touhou futa semen raining down all over you, covering your face and body in sticky strands.
Eat my hot dog, Kagerou!
I want to eat Kagerou's taco.
「Also why the fuck is my tripcode different here?」
Because I rolled my own tripcode generation method.