Kaileigh
I haven’t seen you around for weeks. You used to be the only bright thing in my day — just a glimpse of your smile and everything felt lighter. I told myself you had your own life and I wasn’t important enough to be a part of it, so I tried to accept it. I thought it would be a few days. But then school ended, and you never came back.
Prom night was unbearable. I smiled like I was having fun, but it was all fake — I kept my face steady while my chest felt like it was being pulled apart. I pretended to dance while my cuts threatened to open again. Nobody would’ve noticed if I’d disappeared; nobody ever notices me. I would’ve danced all night in a dress made of thorns if it meant I could dance with you. Instead, every time I looked around the knot in my throat tightened because you weren’t there. I wanted to see you so badly it hurt. I cried myself to sleep until my pillow was ruined, slowly telling myself you were probably gone for good.
On senior day all I could think about were the stupid jokes you’d tell, the ridiculous grey wig you would’ve worn, how funny you’d look in a nightgown — all the dumb, small things I would’ve watched from the sidelines just to feel you near me. Your presence, your laugh, your stupid face — that would’ve been enough. But it never happened. I didn’t even go to the last day of class. What was the point if you weren’t there?
So what happened? Does Cid still pay your bills? What have you been doing instead of coming to school? What could possibly be more important than being with me? Why would you do this to me? How could you leave me here alone when all I ever wanted was to be with you — around you, following you anywhere? I would go to the end of the world if it meant being near you, but you just left me cold and empty.
Please come back. I need you. I can’t do this alone. I hate it. I hate this. I hate myself. All you care about are those groomers of yours. I have never felt this sad in my life. You don’t care about me at all, do you? You were supposed to take care of me. Stay with me, please.