>>/24647/
> Maybe those men wouldn't obsess if they just had a 3/10 from the start
I don't think so, otherwise getting a gf would cure them of this way of thinking. It's a sort of chicken-or-the-egg deal but everything I've seen points to it not actually having to do with tfw no gf at all. Long before puberty even starts, people like us tended to already feel totally alienated from our peers. Didn't matter what gender they were, what their interests were, or anything like that. We felt like we were different and didn't belong, and I think most of us probably had overactive imaginations. I can say with a high feeling of confidence that I bet you "escaped" into books, video games, comics, and eventually maybe porn, internet chatting/posting. Literally anything to distract ourselves is what we tend to value the most in the moment. Even these long posts are a way to detach ourselves from lived experience and real emotion for a moment, it's like mini dissociation where we get to treat ourselves and others like science projects under a microscope. Anyway. My point here is that "tfw no gf" is mostly a coping mechanism. We are dissatisfied with our lives. We crave affection and attention and care and love. We want to be saved, sometimes. We try to figure out where things went wrong and why, at what moment, where. The truth is that life is hard and complicated, and never are we miserable for one specific reason. But coming up with a reason and feeling like you can point at it and say "THAT'S why I'm miserable, that's why I'm this way!" definitely makes life more bearable. It feels amazing to shift the blame for your life turning out the way it has onto something else, or some void in your life, something you feel like you were deprived of, or anything else. Usually in the case of people like us, we blame it on no gf. Missing out on teen love. Women having too high standards and hating us. Stuff like that. In reality, even if we had gfs, we'd still be dealing with the low self esteem that repelled girls in the first place when we were younger. We'd still have the traumas from our youth that we've carried with us to this point, the traumas that make us so bitter and fucked up and angry not just with women but the world itself. We'd have a wall between a woman and ourselves which would make us feel unloved in most cases anyway, unless we try really hard to take a good long honest look at what actually led up to everything being this way. Not to blogpost or make too many assumptions here but I'd guess most of us were either neglected by parents or over protected by them which both lead to being unable to form healthy relationships without early intervetnion, lots of broken homes, poorly socialized which led us to be stunted, early onset depression, poor view of self, became more and more isolated as we got older. Both sexes can have some pretty fucked up standards, yeah, but even if we found a woman who we found beautiful and sweet, there'd be a creeping voice in a lot of our heads that said "Well, she probably wouldn't even look at me. She'd probably hate me. She's probably fucking some other guy much better than me," and then start to hate her, or rather the idea of her in our heads. A lot of who we love and hate, when living like this, is a product of our own minds. It's hard to truly see people as human beings when operating like this. I've had a lot of time to think about this and process things, and I'm quite frankly sickened by a lot of what I've thought about completely normal people because of my own bitterness from a lifetime of feeling alienated and rejected by the world before I even had a chance. And I now realize that a lot of my feeling rejected was just me having low self esteem and making assumptions about everyone around me that made me hate them.
This turned out way longer and more personal than I meant it to be, sorry everyone. But I like you, essayposter, because you have moments of clarity and you remind me of myself.