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No. 1030193 [Preview] [Reply]
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Waddled down to the kebab shop to try a $10 sundae I've been wanting to try for a while. Dreadful. Full of ice and homebrand tier chocolate sauce. Also the poojeta who served me was hideous, with creepy black nails totally inappropriate for a public facing food service job. I'll know better next time. Stick to ice creams from specialist ice cream places, or maccas.





















No. 1030214 [Preview] [Reply]
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Noticed the inside of the lid for my cold brew coffee jar has been painted, and some of the paint has come off from scratching the glass jar. Not happy about this. Don't want to consume paint. Might go to ikea to see if they have any better jars.































No. 1030245 [Preview] [Reply]
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I watched Terminator 3: rise of the Machines (2003).
This is not a great film but it is not quite as bad as many people say.
Older John Connor is miscast and played incorrectly. He should not have been so detached and ironic.
This was the first of the franchises which was ruined by sequels which were in awe of the originals and therefore could not take themselves seriously and instead come across as sort of parodies of the originals. Too much fan service and winks at the audience.
Many such cases now.



No. 1030248 [Preview] [Reply]
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had 2/3rds a big mac and 6 nuggets and drove home. on the way some fuck wit had his high beams up my ass so i stopped and blared my horn when he when past. he probably shit himself the cunt






No. 1030254 [Preview] [Reply]
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< you grandfather sounds like a big figure in your life
> yeah i learnt a lot from him
< wow, it sounds like you really loved your grandfather
> what? fuck no. I learnt don't do anything the fuck he did
> he was a terrible cunt!

4am jokes. can't sleep so youse get a joke
























































































No. 1030342 [Preview] [Reply]
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I always feel like I'm a character in the sims when I go to ikea. And the food there is terrible, probably because it's swedish, but I will be going back one more time to try the cured salmon. Got a new, 1.5l jar for cold brewing coffee. No paint, just natural rubber, glass and stainless steel.







No. 1030349 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030331/
All those dirty cum hungry sluts want your cock even more than you want their tender little shiny pink dripping cunts. You think they look like that in public without knowing every man looks at those leggings and wants to rip them apart. Make eye contact while thinking about them choking and spluttering on you. They love it.





No. 1030354 [Preview] [Reply]
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my dream last night i was trying to escape like truman show and was in a chicks car, she was pretty hot and she was like i have a dick too and i was like meh, could be worse. woke up with a hard on


No. 1030356 [Preview] [Reply]
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Fighting with the misso all weekend. Thank God she's at work today so I'm drinking goon. Walk of shame on the busy road with the cask and my grotty trackies on. I walked there twice last night and fuck me the same cunt was working there this morning. 
She's trying to bait me into hitting her so she can call the cops. Has been just repeating everything I say, following me around the house, sitting on the bed when I'm tryna lay on it, just being annoying. Honestly domestic violence is actually so based and its a travesty you're not allowed to smack a bitch sometimes. They need it and actually like it. Women are just tall children and sometimes you need to discipline them when they act up. Feel like this is a kind of foundational tenant of society that we've lost with the rise of HR roasties. Poses a civilisational etc. God I hate women





No. 1030361 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030356/
if you want to keep her it would be wise to at least pretend to listen (you dont have to care about her shit, she just has to think you do)
then do some nice things for her that make her feel special
or if she's not worth it fuck her off







No. 1030368 [Preview] [Reply]
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This is the life I chose. This is what happens to young guys who drink beer in their bedroom while Going On The Computer 
It's over. It's actually over. I failed and I lost. I am being raped daily.














































No. 1030416 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030405/
The most advanced model. It burned through 75% of my 5 hour limit in a 20 minute thinking. I think progress was made, now I am getting it to collect everything it needs. Then it is back to Max once my limit resets to finish a big think.



























































































No. 1030516 [Preview] [Reply]
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in the NEET commune we will have our own VIM centrelink office we can eat KFC and drink goon while we go in and only hot women in their 20's will serve us and treat us like gigachads except possum because he's a dirty animal






























No. 1030546 [Preview] [Reply]
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Got out of cenno and parked outside. Sitting there wondering what to do when some insane methhead comes storming over to my car like he’s gonna bash me while staring me down.
He got to my car and started yelling WHY YOU LOOKING AT ME!?
i was just like what the fuck? Didn’t see him until he was agrressively approaching my car.
Tried to do up my windows and tried to back out. Nearly smashed into a car. Drove off in adrenaline.
Today is fucking cursed man
Two guys cancelled on me.
Herder and another guy
Centrelink made me wait on hold an hour after calling at 8am sharp
Got knocked back on moving to another herder management

What the actual fuck is going on??
And my herders are closed
I think today is cursed and raped. Im gonna have to buy some goon and bolt the doors or im gonna get stabbed by a raging lunatic


















No. 1030564 [Preview] [Reply]
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Motorola's decision to move the headphone jack from the top of the phone to the bottom on the power G infuriated me initially, but upon reflection I have noticed that it doesn't get clogged up with pocket fluff like it used to. At peace with the engineer's decision










No. 1030574 [Preview] [Reply]
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Somehow fucked my jaw eating a dim sim, but now my teeth match up when I close my mouth in what could possibly be the first time ever. 

Think this is because I got one of those diy mouth guards and spent ages biting down on it.






No. 1030580 [Preview] [Reply]
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Nuro probably leaves his shoelaces undone all the time as a way to train his agility and situational awareness. Like how samurai used to train and fight with weights on their arms and legs to train their strength and speed.


























































































No. 1030672 [Preview] [Reply]
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Giving attention to IGA encourages him to escalate his shenanigans. This is unrelated to Nuro. His photo reporting started out harmless, its bound to get more wild.
Giving attention to IGA while shutting off Nuro will make IGA feel sheltered, and will encourage him to escalate his behaviour against Nuro.
BO and staff should think about this.































No. 1030706 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030704/
Why do you even post on ausneets?
I tried talking to you and it's just narcisism.
Anyone who doesn't respond with BASED you just flame.
So why don't you fuck off to facebook or youtube and put blogs on there and see if anyone actually cares?























No. 1030729 [Preview] [Reply]
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Ok neets, time for another choose your own adventure. This time by RL Stine, better known as a horror author for the series goosebumps. This one should be much easier - we don't have to discover the secret of Atlantis. All we've got to do is spend money. $1 million dollars. Should be easy for us.



No. 1030732 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030729/

I'll start us off here:
> The little man hands you a sheet of paper and stands watching as you read the typewritten message it contains:
> Dear INSTANT MILLIONAIRE:
> I am handing over to you as grand-prize winner the sum of one million dollars. You must abide by the following rules:
> 1. You have one month to spend all of the money.
> 2. You must spend it yourself. No one else can help you.
> 3. If you manage to spend the million  dollars within one month, you shall receive five million dollars more. You may do whatever you please with this five million.
> 4.  You cannot gamble with the money or use it in any illegal manner.  
> 5. You can give the money away - but not to anyone you know.
> 6. If you cannot spend or give away the million dollars in one month, you must return all unspent money to me. And you forfeit the additional five million.
> You struggle to read the signature at the bottom of the page, but you can't make it out.
> "Will you agree to these rules?" the little man asks.
You get that neets? All we have to do to win $5 million is spend $1 million. Should be easy for lazy wastrels like us.

No. 1030733 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030732/

> "You bet!" you cry, sounding more excited than you'd expected. You reach out to shake hands.
> "I'm sorry. I never shake hands. Bad for the skin," the little man says. "Here. Take this box, please. It's quite heavy."
> He hands you the box containing the million dollars. "Thank you!" you cry. You place the box on the coffee table.
> The man picks up his walking stick. 'I'll show myself out," he says. He turns and walks into the coat closet.
> "Maybe I'd better show you out," you say, leading him toward the front door.
> "Enjoy your prize," he says, walking quickly down the street. "And don't spend it all in one place.  Hahahaha!"
> You close the door and carry the box into your room. "If only Uncle Clyde were home!" you tell yourself. "I've just gotta tell someone about this!" You open the box.  The money is in one thousand dollar bills!
> You close the box and hide it in the back of your sock drawer.
> You decide to run over and see your friend Andy. You've got to tell him about your lottery prize! You lock the front door carefully behind you. >You turn the corner and begin to walk down Andy's street.
> Wait a minute! That man back there is he following you???
> Turn to PAGE 37.
So we hid the million dollars in the sock drawer, and already it looks like someone is after us.


No. 1030735 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030733/
> Yes.  A man is walking quickly toward you.
> He's following you, all right.
> Now what should you do?
> Andy's house is a block and a half away.  Should you make a run for it? What if the man runs after you, follows you there? You don't want to get Andy into danger, too.
> Maybe you should turn the corner and head for the school. Summer school is in session, so the building will be open. You can hide in there until the man gives up.
> But the school is nearly three blocks away. Andy's house is closer.
> Which shall it be?
> Decide quickly. The man is getting closer.
> Andy's house? Turn to PAGE 55.
> The school? Turn to PAGE 84.
Do we want to try and hide at our friend's house, or at the school?



























































































No. 1030826 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030818/
on /gif/ a filter is necessary to survive the bwo jew tranny plague spam shit.
brave has inbuilt free vpn so you can go on pornhub etc. but those are cucked and fucked too with shit.

I have a huge porn collection mostly from /gif/'s golden days saved


































No. 1030860 [Preview] [Reply]
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Bought a shaped mat to go around the base of my toilet, because I keep getting urine on the floor or on my legs. I'm in my 40s and haven't yet learnt how to properly piss in the toilet. I deserved my dsp unlike the rest of you fakers.
















No. 1030877 [Preview] [Reply]
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Nuro:
Do you have four (4) old bicycle wheels I can have, 20 to 26" will do as long as they're all the same size. Not skinny road racing ones, ones like a BMX or MTB would use. Thanks.






































































No. 1030949 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030735/
 >>/1030741/

Time for more choose your own adventure neets:
- You win one million dollars.
- The catch - you have to give it away within a month
- You win five million if you succeed.
Let's continue

> You walk as fast as you can toward Andy's house. You turn your head quickly to see if the man is still following.
> Yes! He's walking as fast as you.
> You begin to run. You run across the street.
> A truck squeals to a halt. "Hey kid, — watch where you're goin'!" the driver screams angrily.
> But you keep running. Andy's house is just two houses away now. You turn back.  Has the man crossed the street? Yes. He's walking toward you, walking quickly, steadily, silently toward you.
> You run up the drive to Andy's house. The front door is closed. You pound on the door as hard as you can. You pound desperately, your heart racing in your chest.
> "Come on, somebody! Somebody open up!" you cry. You pound with both fists.
> The man is at Andy's driveway now.  "Please!  Somebody! Open up!" you cry.  There's no one home. You'll have to make a run for it.  You turn to see how close the man is.
> He has walked on past Andy's house. >He turns the corner and disappears from view.
> He wasn't following you after all.
> Having a million dollars can make you pretty jumpy, can't it?  Better cool out for a while. Take a short rest be/ore turning to PAGE 12.

wew!


No. 1030951 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030949/
> Your Uncle Clyde comes home at six, and you run to the front door to greet him. "My million dollars came today !" you shout excitedly.
> "Good," he says, putting down his cap and newspaper on the coffee table. "Anything else new?"
> You knew he'd be as nonchalant as ever.  It would take more than a million dollars to get Uncle Clyde excited.
> "Some newspaper people were here a few minutes ago to take my picture for The Gazette," you tell him, following him into the kitchen.
> "I don't read The Gazette," Uncle Clyde says, opening the refrigerator, "and trouble is money.  Do you know what I mean by that?"
> "No," you say.
> "Listen, can you lend me a twenty till Friday?" he asks.
> "No," you reply. "According to the rules, I can't give any of it to anyone I know." 
> "Well, then, it's not much good, is it?"
> Go on to PAGE 13.
No need to make any choices yet neets. Just onwards to page 13.

No. 1030952 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030951/
> "I have to spend it all or give it away in one month/ you tell him. "If I can do that, I get five million dollars more."
> He takes out some lettuce and a tomato.  "I hope you don't get a swelled head from this," he says, looking for the white bread.  "I imagine once you get five million dollars, there'll no talkin' to you."
> "Well, I don't have it yet," you say. "First I have to decide how I'm going to get rid  of this million."
> This is a big decision! Are you going to try to spend it all? Or are you going to try to give the million dollars away?

> Spend it? Turn to PAGE 42.
> Give it away? Turn to PAGE 50.

Well neets, should we selfishly spend $1 million on ourselves, or make the world a better place by helping others with it?















No. 1030967 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030952/
 >>/1030953/
 >>/1030954/
 >>/1030961/

> I'm going to spend it!" you exclaim.  "I'm going to spend a million dollars! That shouldn't be too hard, should it?"
> "Easy come, easy go," Uncle Clyde mutters with a mouthful of sandwich.
> You ignore his wild enthusiasm. "Now what should I spend it on?"
> "I've got a coupla suggestions,"he offers, becoming a bit more interested."You know, your cousin Margaret desperately needs a new freexer. Her ice cream is so she has to drink it. Poor thing."
> "Tsk tsk," you say, unsympathetic to poor cousin Margaret's plight.
> "And your Uncle Al could use a new car.  His is almost five years old!" Uncle Clyde says, chewing with his mouth open.
> "Poor Uncle Al. That's real tough," you soft, say.
> "I knew that money would change you," your uncle says, shaking his head sadly.
> "Guess you want to spend that whole million on yourself. Well, okay. Go ahead. Buy yourself a million dollar pair of sneakers. Something practical like that."
> "I've got an idea!" you cry.

> Go on to PAGE 43.

No. 1030968 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030967/
> "How big is this town?" you ask.
> "About 30,000 people, I guess, " Uncle Clyde replies. "Give or take 30,000 or so."
> "Great!" you cry. "I'm going to throw a party for everyone in town! The biggest party ever given.  A million dollar celebration!"
> "Well...you'd better vacuum the living room if you're gonna invite 30,000 people over!" Uncle Clyde suggests, still concentrating on his sandwich.
> "I'll get rid of the million dollars and everyone will have the time of their lives!"
> "Too hard," your uncle says. "Too complicated. Go buy jewels. Buy cars. Buy stuff like that. Spend the million the easy way.  Then throw your party to celebrate."
> "Hmmmm...I'm a little worried about you, Uncle Clyde. You're beginning to make sense!"
> Which idea is better? Go buy jewels, cars, and expensive items? Or throw a million dollar party for your whole town?

> If you choose to go buy expensive stuff, turn to PAGE 22.
> If you to choose to have the big party, turn PAGE 72.
This choice was meant to be about spending money on ourselves - throwing a party for other people sounds like giving money away, but maybe that's why I never have any friends or parties. What do we choose neets?

























No. 1030993 [Preview] [Reply]
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Pork in on special. If only I had a whole pig.

Tonight Black fried pork with noodles, tomorrow red fried pork with rice. The next, Italian daltinbocca. The fourth day the leftovers just get ground into the meatloaf.








No. 1031001 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1030968/
 >>/1030971/

> Giving a party is always difficult. Giving a party for 30,000 people is next to impossible!
> You spend the next few weeks running all over town, making arrangements, buying supplies, getting organized.
> You hire people to send out 30,000 invitations. You spend $100,000 renting the Civic Auditorium.  It should be just big enough to hold the party.
> You order pepperoni pizza for 30,000 Then you remember that some people may prefer sausage. So you order people.  enough sausage pizza for 30,000 people — just to be safe!
> You hire ten different bands to play. You order a thousand door prizes - new model Cadillacs!
> You spend, spend, spend. Can you spend a million dollars on this party?  You're doing your very best!
> "How's it goin'?" your uncle asks, his face buried in the newspaper.
> "I can't talk now," you tell him. "I'm on the phone with the fireworks people. They want to put on a $100,000 show. I'm trying to talk them into something more expensive!"
> "That's nice," Uncle Clyde says.  >He didn't hear a word you said.
> The party is only two days away. Will it be a success?

> Turn to PAGE 90.
Will anyone of the 30,000 actually come to our party? Or will it be one of those birthdays when nobody shows up and you're all alone? We'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out.



No. 1031004 [Preview] [Reply]
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My bluetooth headset has stopped working on one side. It lasted quite a while, I bought it in 2018 before the pandemic, to help me fall asleep while lying on the beanbag listening to books. Where best to get a cheap replacement?
































































No. 1031068 [Preview] [Reply]
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coles delivery fucktard didn't bother putting my lettuce and tomatoes in plastic bags
also jiggled up my raspberry crowns so one was sitting on top of the other instead of side by side
















No. 1031085 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1031082/
Kind of wish i was involved in the fetish scene so i could meet freaks like these girls. I had an opportunity to go to a swingers party as a single incel when i was 18 but i was too scared and fumbled it. Now i rue the coomer life i could've enjoyed in my 20s an 30s













No. 1031098 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1031096/
That is low self esteem NEET. It can be ameliorated and doesn’t have to be hard. Probably high cortisol and poor dopamine.
Amisulpride gives dopamine which will over time expose you to everything and make you feel less stressed and more confident.
If you can get your hands on prednisone it will make you feel like a god for 2 weeks and do a total reset on stress levels


















No. 1031117 [Preview] [Reply]
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called cenno this morning. they are going to send the paper work shit to get unlimited portability to me.
then begins the teeth-pulling process of going back and fourthe between faggot-link and dr pajeet to get the bullshit papers checked and submitted.

hopefully all goes well and in a few months i will have it and my passport ready and i can go around europe and maybe south east asia or something for awhile.
later i want to get on SIL and somehow tickabox my way out of paying any rent so i can leave all my things in it and go around the world on cashmoney boong bux








No. 1031125 [Preview] [Reply]
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Just walked in ro an office and lectured a therapist. Gave her about a weeks worth of extra work. Smiled and walked out. Menrioned reporting to the commission and limitted her expectation of work load, so she has no excuses to do less. Benchmark set, punishment alluded to, escelation point established, process formalised.



No. 1031128 [Preview] [Reply]
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Bought a new charger for the watch. Convincing the ai that this will change everything.
It just said

😂 “My grandfather managed his caseload with a clipboard, and it was good enough for him.”

And the chroniclers shall record:

The Stragglers resisted the Wrist Oracle. They spoke proudly of remembering things themselves, opening apps manually, and writing case notes at the end of the week. Their civilisation left few records, because nobody remembered to finish the documentation.

Meanwhile, the Watch People prospered under the Five-Second Doctrine:

Capture immediately. Consolidate later. Chase the handover, not the task. Destroy circular nonsense wherever it is found.

The horse was perfectly serviceable. The automobile was just considerably better at getting somewhere.

Friday approaches. ⌚😂






No. 1031134 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1031132/
Hooties have been severely underestimated and kicking ass this year. Seppos still won't ackowledge the successful missile strikes they made on their aircraft carriers or that those planes that fell off the carriers were due to evasive menooovers.

No. 1031135 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/1031132/
Since the dawn of time middle eastern history has just consisted of wave after wave of sand niggers riding out of the desert, conquering the fat decadent city dwelling arabs, then getting fat and lazy and decadent themselves and getting conquered by the next wave of savage bedouin from the desert. This is just more the cycle.
























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