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Once upon a time, deep deep in the jungle. There was a little engine that could. He was chugging his way across the enemy line…chugga chugga, toot toot. This little engines’ mission was to take some AK-47’s and a nuclear payload, over the mountain to the 2063 Battalion. Needless to say, there was plenty of opposition. You think that stopped the little engine that could? No siree bob. He just kept chugging along…chugga chugga toot toot. Not even when they climbed aboard the train, and popped out the eyes of the conducter, and blood and snot was drippin out of his eye sockets. Think that stopped the engine that could? Damn skippy…he just kept chuggin along…chugga chugga toot toot. Wasn’t until Charlie rigged the bridge with plastic explosive as the little engine was making his way across the tressel. BOOM…an explosion happened. And blood, and guts, and spit, and *** was everywhere. Bubba come crawling out the back with both legs missing. Lula May’s baby boy, and he looked up and me and he said,“ Payne I can’t feel my legs.” And I said,“ Bubba, they aint there.” And I looked down and them little bloody nubs was kicking. And I said,“ Bubba, its 30 miles to the nearest town, and unless you can flip upside down walk on your hands you aint gonna make it.” All of the sudden, Charlie was all over the place. Just me and my sidearm, and I had no other alternative, but to blast my way out….“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Die pig die….you’ll never take Major Benson Winniford Payne alive.

https://invidious.protokolla.fi/watch?v=MTAaosUQqPY
https://www.news.com.au/world/europe/former-nazi-guard-charged-with-holocaust-murders-at-age-98/news-story/94ea7f1a2f8b3f697dd74be6d50ce445
> The man will face a juvenile court because he was under the age of 18 during the time of the "crimes".
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Apocalypse Now isn't an anti vietnam war movie. It's an anti vietnam movie. Kurtz doesn't get into trouble for terrorising to the locals, he gets it for behaving like one.
https://nypost.com/2023/09/01/video-shows-nebraskan-drunk-driver-call-911-on-himself/
> An alleged drunk driver unwittingly handed himself over to Nebraska police when he reported someone else traveling in the wrong direction.
> As it turns out, he was the culprit.
 >>/743119/
If the noodles are rice then what does it matter? So far this evening I've boiled eggs for ramen (jelly yolk consistency), got a dodgy meatless pasta sauce simmering right now to freeze, and then a sweet tater mash with onion sauted in garlic parsley butter.
 >>/743124/
Koreans use glass (mung hean) noodles a lot because they don't add starch, but you might use instant noodles because they're richer. Decided on rice cakes because they thicken the soup a bit. 

Good job with the eggs.
Finally got a proper night's sleep, first time in a month. The secret? Didn't let cat in my room. Cat howled and scratched the door all night but was unable to wake me up.
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 >>/743089/
Thanks man, I still got bad vibes in my head from that guy yesterday. He was looking at me like a US GI looks when he gives a dirty gook whore a single american dollar after doing unspeakable sex acts just to buy civilian food aid rice for the whole village from the dinky dau corrupt ARVN. 

I just cant.

Might get blackout drunk to escape the bad feels.
 >>/743144/
Cat spent an hour howling and scratching when I was awake, and when cat has woken me up previously it's a cycle of howling and scratching, standing on me, scratching my face, leaving to piss outside. Cat has dementia and can spend a very long time doing the same thing over and over.
 >>/743150/
Reparo!

https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Mending_Charm

Make sure you say it right. Remember how you always struggled with wingardium leviosa.
Purchased Woolworths branded Scotch Finger biscuits for $1.25 and a can of Rockstar for $2.70. That is all I can afford today.
That's enough skyrim lore videos. 
Got a meeting in 2 hrs. Not feeling it. 
Three workers contracts and shit(including talking to them) and payroll. Haven't done invoices for last fortnight yet. Ehhh. 
Can't even be fucked getting a coffee.
 >>/743182/
Client meeting cancelled, she text a couple of hours ago but I hadn't checked. 
Been needing a piss for the past couple of hours. 
Might go do that, then go back to bed.
Thinking the worker I had an interview with (that ended with 'I'll think about it ') has probably said that she can do all the hours privately. Maybe not. 
I'll think about it to making your shifts permanent and pay you $10 more per hour and increase your hours, with the real possibility of getting close to full time permanent hours, which I'd be obliged to offer as perm part time after 6 months. 
Cunts always overestimate their value.
 >>/743184/
Might as well wait until Friday to do this fortnights. I'm always so fucking exhausted. 
Contemplating lunch is too strenuous, I'll likely not eat because it's too much effort.
 >>/743189/
I have no value, I just redistribute it. 
Most think that if they do the job, they're worth at least.. say 80% of turnover that their labour or time is worth.
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Has anyone ever had a coffee from the little cafes they have in bunnings?
They have proper coffee machines but baristas are just dressed as normal bunnings wagies.
 >>/743195/
Some of the food there looks kind of alright. Think its all pre made somewhere else. I've noticed a lot less sausage sizzles out front. Perhaps they've been knocking them back as to direct hungry blokes towards their cafes.
 >>/743207/
> I want to be like my hero tony stark and eat heaps of hungry jack's cheeseburgers
I want to be like my here eddard stark and have my head chopped off with a sword
I saw an old quite well dressed bloke walking along with one of those green shopping bags full of loose beer cans this morning.
Been wondering ever since what his story was and why he had loose beer cans at 9 in the morning.
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Ok neets, time for the womboflix movie selection committee to meet. All neets can either vote for a new movie, or nominate a new one to the list.

Wrongfully Accused (1998)
The Sunset Limited(2011)
Outrage(2010)
Captain Phillips (2013)
The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)
Godzilla(2014)
Smokin Aces (2006)
Rapid Fire(1992)
Tropic Thunder
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Rambo (2008)
Showdown in Little Tokyo(1991)
Who Killed Captain Alex
Under Siege
Wasabi
Truman Show
F/X
Weekend At Bernies
Taxi Driver
Trading Places
Fritz the cat
Se7en
The Commitments
Hell or high water
Scum
Wolf Of Wall Street
Love And Death
The Bourne Identity/The Bourne Supremacy/The Bourne Ultimatum
Young Einstein
Don's Party
Old Henry
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 >>/743239/
I think I have PTSD from the job I just quit, I cant sit in silent without hearing the whining noise like a incoming VC mortar round and its getting louder and I know its going to hit me like a burning napalm fire cloud. Oh Lord! the sound of that neckbeard whining about his scope, whatever that is. He's whining at me to get him some transistors for his scope and I dont even know what the hell he's talking about but IT JUST WONT STOP

I'm going to go see doctor zogbot and get something for my nerves.
Asked for pepper mayo on the original recipe burgers so they would have to make them fresh. 
Guy asked me if I wanted the pepper mayo with normal mayo still on it, I said no. 
I think he was trying to get me to order a pre-made one, then they just put extra mayo on it. 
Almost fell for that trick.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-09-04/calls-to-improve-maternity-care-for-women-in-larger-bodies/102798520

Fat women have no shame
Fat people are disgusting.
Once I am skinny enough to fit into the 5XL Johnny Bigg Tee I am going to start mocking them in public. Fucking chortlers.
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Its about time I reminded all my valued customers about the perils of visiting your so called Doctor for help with your nervous complaints. Western "Medicine" is motivated to get you addicted to mind altering drugs and keep you hooked on these wicked poisons so the rotten Pharmaceutical companies can enjoy enormous profits while you rot from the inside and ruin your lives. Poor PTSDneet needs the help of one of my empathetic and understanding cellarmen, who will help him select some traditional calming potions that will suit his palate and wallet. All of you neets are welcome to enjoy life more with a discount of 2.5% on any of my non-import labels, because I care.
Good lift. Low weight but thats to be expected after 6 weeks away. 
It was packed, didn't realise there'd be so many highschool kids. 
Big booty teens in gymshark shorts 👀
Possum told me if I was wounded and dying on Afghanistans plains and their women came out to cut up my remains I should roll to my rifle and blow out my brains and go to my God like a soldier once.
 >>/743278/
 >>/743149/
Harwell "has suffered profusely over the years with several types of addiction leading to medical and mental health issues," including cardiomyopathy and Wernickes encephalopathy

Another gooner bites teh dust!
When you go to a bakery that doesn't have the prices listed at all is when you know you're really going to get fucked.
I'm using positive visualisation, imagining myself fitting into that 5XL Tee, then taking it off and walking naked on the nude beach.
We're all going to make it NEETs.
 >>/743352/
No, unfortunately a tard lit a huge fire.
Took a lot of restraint not to fire extinguish the tard, the wagie who ignored a fire, and bossman who insisted the fire was not our problem.
 >>/743375/
I remember Fatherbot once saying something like "I only wanted a [whatever it was], not buy the fucking [building or business]" and Motherbat being very embarrassed.
Possum, cruisey, 10k, webby, me and some other neets marched across the ruins of hue city once while wasting charlie and singing the theme song from blinky bill.
The problem is most of the time you just end up "questioning" or abusing some minimum wage worker, not anyone who has anything to do with setting the prices or policies.
You can ask to see the Jew in charge but he is usually at home watching four hour Skyrim lore videos.
https://www.news.com.au/national/queensland/queensland-police-shut-down-access-to-at-least-24-homes-amid-standoff/news-story/0081abebb2790faa4627d9e59fd93f3d
one of those two neets has caused an incident
https://www.news.com.au/sport/tennis/viral-us-open-beer-chugger-megan-lucky-snubbed-by-camera-crew/news-story/7c8ed0bebd81f226e4571b699ca6ff0c
 >>/743389/
> “As a result, police have been negotiating with a male person in an attempt to assist him,” Mr Burnett said.
> “There have been no threats to any other person and the man is alone in the premises.>
> “Police are concerned for his welfare and will continue to negotiate with him until the situation is peacefully resolved.
Sounds like they should mind their own fucking business
 >>/743390/
> “I still haven’t been able to truly monetise. So I’m starting to post more on my socials,” she said in an interview last month.
Disgusting succubus.
I'm in the initial stages of working out the movements for a chicken nuggies dance.
It needs to be suitable for executive bodies.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12478399/Woody-Allen-defends-Spanish-football-chief-Luis-Rubiales-saying-wasnt-raping-just-kiss-hard-understand-person-lose-job-kissing-someone.html
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12477195/Commonwealth-Bank-blunder-Victorian-couple-lose-90-000-bank-sends-link-suicide-helpline.html
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Every night I drink myself into a coma to forget the pain, I get weaker, and every night that beady eyed neckbeard plays with his funway kit he gets stronger. All I wanted was to serve the customers in jaycar and for my sins they sent me one.
https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/health-safety/delta-flight-from-us-to-spain-turned-around-mid-air-after-diarrhoea-emergency/news-story/42139a887962dcf04ff6474fa75cf2f0
got the last quadruple dare from the back of the fridge
that, two cans of rockstar, and an 8 pack of mini chocolate croissants and I will be ready to face the world
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12395577/Bruce-Shillingsworth-Aboriginal-Tribal-Lore-Enforcement.html
> Bruce 'Muckadda' Shillingsworth dresses as a 'cop' and patrols a 200km-square piece of land in western NSW his mob controls under 'Tribal Lore Enforcement' - and he's got no problem blocking police who 'trespass'
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-12479329/The-real-life-Dracula-VEGAN-Experts-claim-Vlad-Impaler-inspiration-fictional-vampire-followed-plant-based-diet.html
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-09-05/building-indemnity-insurance-south-australia/102678076

They didn't bleep out the word shit.
Floors have been mopped,toilet cleaned, sheets have been washed, some fence palings have been nailed back in place and spark plugs have been replaced in motorbike and an email sent to my herder, my day is done.
The only thing keeping me going is the click and collect order I’m picking up from Jaycar after lunch.
Testing their print server — that I upgraded from Server 2012R2 to Server 2019 during business hours — with ‘vote no’ posters
Why am I, a relatively expensive cyber security resource, upgrading Windows for a mong provider? It is a mystery.
So it turns out the ones I thought were the IT department are project managers. There is no IT beyond a “dev” and some helpdesk monkey. They are so screwed if something goes wrong.
My car turned 20 years old last month. I am wondering how much longer she will last. I can't afford a new one or any expensive repairs.
Might end up becoming a bicycle and public transport NEET.
Morning. Smoked choof last night and stayed up till 5 watching massage ASMR videos in bed. Whoops. 
Drinking instants and listening to The Prodigy - Voodoo People (Pendulum Remix). 
Leg day today. Might apply for some local wage slave jobs.
also driving home I saw a family of four on gopher carts driving on the road in a pack
I also saw a couple with an infant pushing a shopping trolley with some bags of clothing or something and a flat screen tv on top. Must have been moving house lol.
One of the support workers that mummybot schedules for is at our house
They are just gossiping about clients. They even do it after work hours. Support work is perfect for middle to older aged women who live on drama and gossip
I made myself do some gym despite my foul mood and zero motivation. It was a good move, I am feeling a bit better now.
 >>/743691/
Basically some other large gaming channel uploaded a video proving LTT posts bullshit reviews and don't know what they're doing, and then as that was blowing up, some female ex-LTT employee went on a big twitter posting rampage about being harassed in the workplace and then hounded out, and other YouTubers started posting videos about it all and they went into damage control.
I made the mistake of visiting the Linus subreddit. They all write like bots doing a parody of reddit. The scary thing is they might not be.
 >>/743693/
Yeah, he's as genuine about as genuine as a $3 note. The other thing that came out was that a gaming convention thing for YouTube creators he was going around saying he wont talk to anybody who doesn't have at least 1M subscribers... and then literally made good on that promise. Some of the ones he snubbed made videos about that too.
Channel 7 did a segment on de-transitioners and reddit is going on their 'right-wing media' conspiracy chimpout
Feeling sad again. Was thinking about dinner and eating out, but that's a waste of time and money. It's for normal people not losers like me.

 >>/743727/
Sometimes I get too sad to wank. Like what's the point?
 >>/743676/
I need to diversify. 
Get an office with a large open area with a bean roasting coffee machine and three tables and chairs where they can all pass through and pick up gloves and sanitiser and drop off any case notes.
 >>/743736/
 >>/743738/
Movies have to be on the list for at least a week before they can be voted on again to actually get streamed. This prevents flippant requests and movie requests by blow-in neets who aren't long term ausneets members.
Need to change the carpet twice a year. A bathroom with a large vanity across the wall where the mean bitch ENs tease the dibber dobber cert iv placement girls.
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This week on womboflix there will be no Wednesday night tv. Instead we'll have a movie on Friday night - that movie will be Tropic Thunder (2008), as we complete our vietnam trilogy - a group of prima donna actors making a Vietnam War film. When their frustrated director drops them in the middle of a jungle, they are forced to rely on their acting skills to survive the real action and danger. Starring Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Robert Downey Jnr.

On Saturday we'll be watching Taxi Driver (1976) and on Sunday Smokin Aces (2006)
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/gen-z-women-are-destigmatising-periods-by-ditching-pads-and-tampons/news-story/3f7a5f206ae2e0956caca4eb7a30caf0
vile abhorrent creatures
Left side pains again. This could be it. Maybe today's bad mood was related to the impending heart attack too.
Arse bleeds should not be ignored. 
Usually its just a hernia or scratch, but if it's a gut infection or cancer you won't get any other warning.
 >>/743795/
Bunnings, man*

Poor Posso was left stadning in the carpark with two snags for almost 4 hours before calling an uber back home. "I have no true friends" he remarked to the driver...
> not going to post image because "..." will troll me
> posts image

It's as if weber has a humiliation fetish.
https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/celebrity-photos/woody-allen-attends-rare-red-carpet-event-with-wife-and-daughters/news-story/38e550fddc6693c5079e894755fac93a
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/dating/the-rizz-popular-new-dating-tactic-that-women-cant-get-enough-of/news-story/3b880f20725ea44cc8098ab2b9cd5242

ground breaking
When are we going to see cruiseyflix founded as the rival to womboflix, streaming 24 hour woody allen films?
I am going to start printing pro-Weber pamphlets to counter this disgusting slander campaign against him.
https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/travel-stories/is-this-a-prank-aussies-in-shock-as-americans-discover-buttered-sandwiches/news-story/0a35445e21060b62d6d6e6ca279b6bae
what the fuck were seppos using butter for before this?
 >>/743933/
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/food/eat/coles-under-fire-after-tiktok-video-shows-error-on-specials-tag/news-story/5fa880608ee42627d1d979dead7cdc61
 >>/743922/
I was really disappointed when it turned out MMM's radio show with "The Moon Man" was some cunt called Lawrence Mooney and not the triple K mafia legend we all know and love.
Seriously you have to start banning the retard, this board still has a bit of life in it the days when he doesn't fag the place up all day.
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/food/eat/allens-halts-production-of-red-ripperz-milkos-and-sherbies/news-story/fbeed643e9d31276b938c1a67600aa07
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-09-05/koala-eats-nursery-seedlings-intended-for-wildlife-corridor/102814920
Claude, you cheeky cunt.
Good morning NEETs.
I went shopping and then got some petrol (outrageously expensive).
Lamb leg roast to cook this afternoon.
need advice

I need to pay rent but also want to focus on my personal goals outside of work. Still living with parents for now, but they've said they will kick me out eventually. I have no qualifications, so tried working full-time minimum wagie job but everytime I come home from work I'm exhuasted and struggle to get much actual work done.

I need a job that'll pay enough for rent (seems like you need 3x weekly rent in income for rentals), and still give me daily leeway to work on personal skills and projects. A job I can slack off at to do my own stuff, or something part-time that pays well enough (doubt it), would be good.

Switched to part-time and spent a year and a half studying accounting, cause
> didn't mind it in school
> there's part-time accounting jobs
> possible to WFH
> computer + internet access

but the studying is becoming very stressful and something bigger than I thought. Am losing motivation to keep up with it.

I can pay off the uni debt no issue, so I'm wondering if there's anything at TAFE I can do?

what jobs do non-NEETs here have?
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 >>/743961/
I work for five eyes and occasionally mossad, I have been gathering intel on the neets since I got my job back in '19. Just finish your degree and I'll help you get a job.
I'm retiring from the board. It's been a good ~7 years posting with you all, but it's not worth filtering through all the shitposts. 
All the best.
I bought a new fitted sheet from Kmart for summer. I used to buy sheet sets but I just ended up with lots of unused top sheets and pillowcases.
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 >>/743973/
And where will you go? back to the normiesphere perhaps?
as much as this board is the root of all cringe and a black hole for your worthwhile time, Clown world is far, far worse.
 >>/744025/
There's usually enough variety to have (say) 4 items and they could go back for seconds after everybody else has had a go. But they jump up the second the formalities are over and start piling shit onto their plate.
When I worked in catering I used to make note of big eaters, bring sausage rolls out early and tell people who took more than two to take a heap. 
Always told bossman the same thing, better sacrafice $30 of sausage rolls than have an executive eat all our salmon. 

Men would eat the most of what they figured was the cheapest, women would eat the most of whatever they thought was the most expensive. 
That's why we put caviar on ouderves, it's simply to trick fat women into eating a hundred worthless bits of biscuit and we would then kek because that's exactly what they did every single time. Caviar isn't even expensive in commercial quantities.
 >>/744032/
 >>/744030/
The way catering works is that we charge for labour then forward for expenses. 

So I'm paid $100 an hour even if nobody comes, and you can get as many 20c sausage rolls as you can possibly eat because I'm only billing them at wholesale food cost.

Also I get the chefs to freeze up the left overs in meal packs which I give to the CEO as a courtesy, leading reason why corporates hire catering for dud events. 

The ceo and the NEET are very similar.

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