I didn't find schizophrenia, I guess I didn't look well.
In short, I am in very severe exhaustion and fatigue, even to paint not much strength. But there is no strength to listen to voices.
Point. Approximately 2 ± 0.5 years ago, under certain circumstances (stress, abstinence, lack of sleep and malnutrition and religious rage), voices began to be heard. For the first six months, it was a natural hell. A kind of spiritual abuse as it were called by priests, from morning to night, angry, vile voices, scolding and blaspheming me, God, etc., as well as simply carrying all sorts of nonsense + all sorts of half-images are nasty, well, at night walks through nasty locations with the numbness of nasty entities and also voices. During the day, the power of this thought flow reached such an extent that I sometimes barely managed to talk to other people or perform the most basic activities, they interrupted both my thoughts and the flow of information from outside. All this was accompanied by a feeling of pain in the back of the head or sometimes a hoop tightened on the head.
Then, sometime after this unfortunate year, the intensity of the voices subsided and the voices themselves almost ceased to swear and blaspheme, but now they have changed into the image of God and then the advice is given to warn something else. Naturally, everything they say is a hopeless lie, and any advice and warning does not carry real meaning and only to upset me and anger me. Alas, I am so during this time and can not learn to ignore them or anything else to distance myself from it. All this just eats my strength and nerves, the cuckoo in my alas did not go so far that I became a fucking vegetable lying on the bed and contemplating the end of his life. I'm still going to work, looking for ways to make money from not being fucking poor and all that. Of course, I was thinking about suicide and even received some potassium cyanide, it is not too difficult, took half a lethal dose and realized that I do not want to leave.
In general, I am interested in any methods of combating voices. Of course, any religious council goes where I send all those votes. I was fine and sinned, and used substances, and was interested in magic with shamanism. But I have also experienced all these religious methods of struggle, and I can state with confidence that they are completely unsuitable and meaningless.
Yes, I did not go to the doctors, but not because I am against medicine or afraid of problems, although I do not need them, the problem is money. I will not go to municipal clinics because I am not in Moscow and in my city I will not be clearly and unequivocally treated, and problems will add. There's no money for a paid psychiatrist