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broken curses edition (zonder omloop)

Current and upcoming road races
14.04 - 18.04 O Gran Camiño - The Historical Route 2.1
15.04 Ronde van Limburg 1.1
15.04 - 19.04 Tour of Hainan 2.Pro
17.04 Classic Grand Besançon Doubs 1.1
17.04 De Brabantse Pijl - La Flèche Brabançonne WE 1.Pro
17.04 De Brabantse Pijl - La Flèche Brabançonne ME 1.Pro
18.04 Tour du Jura Cycliste 1.1
19.04 Amstel Gold Race 1.UWT
19.04 Amstel Gold Race Ladies Edition 1.WWT
19.04 Grand Prix Féminin de Chambéry 1.1
19.04 Gran Premio Ciudad de Eibar 1.1 WE
20.04 - 24.04 Tour of the Alps 2.Pro
22.04 La Flèche Wallonne 1.UWT
22.04 La Flèche Wallonne Femmes 1.WWT
23.04 - 26.04 Vuelta Asturias Julio Alvarez Mendo 2.1
25.04 EPZ Omloop van Borsele Women 1.1 WE
25.04 Gran Premio Della Liberazione Donne 1.1 WE
26.04 Liège-Bastogne-Liège Femmes 1.WWT
26.04 Liège-Bastogne-Liège 1.UWT
26.04 Giro dell'Appennino 1.1
26.04 - 03.05 Presidential Cycling Tour of Turkiye 2.Pro
28.04 - 03.05 Tour de Romandie 2.UWT
01.05 GP Immo Zone/Vloer-en chapewerken Smetryns 1.1 WE
01.05 Eschborn-Frankfurt 1.UWT
02.05 Festival Elsy Jacobs à Garnich 1.1 WE
03.05 Lotto Famenne Ardenne Classic 1.1
03.05 Festival Elsy Jacobs à Luxembourg 1.1 WE
03.05 - 09.05 Vuelta España Femenina by Carrefour.es 2.WWT
06.05 - 10.05 ΔΕΗ Tour of Hellas 2.1
08.05 - 31.05 Giro d'Italia 2.UWT

> Mecha-Rusbert's webm folders:

https://pastebin.com/Mx1GyU53 (embed)

> Bert van Koers' ciclismo quizzes:

https://www.sporcle.com/user/Bert_van_Koers/quizzes/

> Races info:

https://www.procyclingstats.com/
https://firstcycling.com/

> Free streams:

https://cyclingtiz.live/
https://dlhd.dad/

> Velodrama league code:

51196855

Previous thread:
 >>/78040/












> I am a bit bitter about the situation. If Visma and Alpecin immediately storm to the front and start riding while Tadej has a flat tire, then you do think they are acting petty.

Miggle bjerg wondering why teams just don't let him win. Why didn't he wait for grug himself










Is it the same people that buy full team kits from current year
Another fad I do not get. I pass a dude with a full 2026 FDJ kit often. He's still on a Lapierre though so not a true fan ofcourse


































































 >>/79124/
double bad because the fish isn't even like the dominant uber human, he will win one stage with massive margin and then just lead the peleton with every other GC rider not named carapaz sitting meekly in tow not trying anything for 2 weeks.
The vuelta last year was some of the worst shit I've ever seen























OOO Grand Camiño fever. Visma sending an absolute stinker of a team so it's going to be UAE and Movistar versus a bunch of Spanish and Portguese amateurs.
Personally I think volta legend João Matias is due for a good result on stage 2 or 3.



















Read a rumor that a guy stole a race bike at the famous Ślężański Mnich - Bruki i Szutry (won by my region guy STOSZ, kwaking KUKRLE and VOLTAIRE) and to run from the poleese he merged with the actual race, went for a long time with the peloton and made the poleese chase the peloton with signals on.
Probably some bullshit made up by some funi 14 year old but still fun to imagine.


 >>/79171/
zurich had 4k+ and he was 3rd (2nd if they didn't gift o'coomer that other spot)
it's more about how fast the climbs come without rest and the length of the effort
a good grug could compete here with anyone not pogi


 >>/79172/
Yes, I nootice that too, am a big shot goomblerman now too (last two weeks don't count). 
I think they are still too close, GP Montreal has more laps and all but it is still terrain for a punchy light guy, not Matthews or Arambaru. 

> Maxim VAN GILS
Heh.. guess at least that retardface got a bit cursed.





















 >>/79194/
They all went to high school lmao. It's not uncommon for riders to take an education on the side because unless you are a top percentage rider you wont earn enough to retire when you are washed up and out of contract so you need a job afterwards.

 >>/79194/
I think that's a bit of a cliché, due to the history of working class riders during the golden age of ciclismo and the Belgian farmer riders like De Lie. 
you have riders that come from athlete or cycling families. your Poulidor-Van der Poels, your Teutenbergs. can't tell how intelligent they are. 
the rest is more middle class, where parents can afford nice bikes and are part of the local cycling clubs. then you have your accomplished philosophers and member of the order of the arts and letters of France Guillaume Martin-Guyonnet. 
for the femmes that certainly isn't true at all. you have your math phd olympic winner, reusser and chabbey are both medical doctors, bredewold might look retarded, but she wrote her thesis. have more such cases of already academic or professional accomplished girls, that need cycling as additional outlet to channel their excess energy.








 >>/79194/
What an american post speaking with authority over something he doesn't know. Even the most farmer riders in the peleton went to high school. A lot of them go to college in some capacity but in a pro athlete program where they can spread it over way more years


> Kamilla Aasebo suffered a heavy fall in Paris-Roubaix on Sunday. The 19-year-old Uno-X Mobility rider sustained serious injuries: she is dealing with fractures to the jaw and elbow, and a minor brain hemorrhage.

F


















> 79219
I feel like I don't watch enough cyclismo when looking at these kinds of teams. yeah I have Gregoire, Del Grosso, Schmid, and Berckmoes was decent enough in the classics. But Zambanini and Venturini, why would I pick them over, say, Hermans or Meurisse























































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the influencer meme helmet (sweet protection falconer aero 2vi) just arrived and you can't adjust the y straps wtf, will sent that shit right back
just read that that's also a thing on high end kask helmets, even my good ol giro has that





 >>/79283/
akshually, according to big helmet, you have to change your helmet every 3-4 years because of UV and sweat damage, otherwise they will explode on your head
 >>/79282/
i thought it looked cool and I did dent my old helmet pretty hard in my grandmas home (she has really low door frames)










 >>/79287/
4/cyc/ reported that Pune Tour will get an extra 6th stage next year and will be promoted from cat 2.2 to 2.1.
Which made me look up Team ProCyclingStats. They didn't race since India and the only race they have programmed is the tour of bosnia and herzegovina.
























And yet, NYCH is still getting disrespected

> Yatesi 1.53
> Nord Hagen 3.25
> Pinarello 7.5
> Vermaerke 17
> Bennetto 17
> Romeo 26
> Johansen 34
> Graat 41
> Schiffer 51
> Fagundez 67
> Oliverira 67
> Balderstone 67
...
> Canal 151
> Gozczurny 151
> Nych 201
> Sosa 301
> Chumil 301
> Novak 501
> Formolo 501
> Reis 501
> Marriage 601
> Switbul 1001
> Del Pinot 1001





God that ronde van limburg startlist is so fucking bad. And that jew from flanders classics destroyed brabantse pijl for this race by giving it the wednesday spot that fucking ape

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 >>/79324/
> The fact that the race is still new in the spring also plays a role,” says Van Den Spiegel. “We noticed that last year as well. Teams still need to get used to it.”

> They have handled everything logistically and organizationally in the same way for a very long time and now suddenly have to change that. It is also a week in which a lot of people are relieved who have been working for weeks on end. The teams are still looking for the right formula.”

> I think it is a very solid field of participants, much better than other 1.1 races. But can it get even better? Absolutely. There are still a few steps we need to take.”


 >>/79326/
But I don't understand his reasoning at all. Is the wednesday that lucrative for VIP's?
If brabantse is on wednesday the amstel riders have enough rest till sunday and the sprinters from roubaix get rest till friday and might extend their season a little.

Now it's worst of both worlds





























New Volta director says he expects UAE and other WT teams to take part in the race this year.

Can't wait for RAMÍREZ to get humbled on the slopes of Serra da Estrela and for WIDAR to take his first GT win.





















































> VT1 and VT2 stand for ventilatory threshold 1 and 2 respectively
> Scientifically correlated with lactate thresholds
> VT1 ≈ LT1
> VT2 ≈ LT2
why are """""scientists""""" making up more metrics when we already have more than enough to describe everything 
also does that mean this guys ftp is 160 watt
and why did I even bother to look all that up














































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Wew berts my first solo paper got published so now I am very close to submitting my thesis with two papers published already, very happy with this progress. The PhD has taken a long ass time already so very glad it's nearing completion.
Celebrated by doing some LT1 work for good measure, just under 35 eggs gathered.

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brother remco interview in gazetta.
remco won't attempt to break the hour record before 2030. 
> "Yes, it is no secret that since Oumi and I have been married, since 2022, we have shared the religion. It's something I'm learning day by day, month by month, year by year... and I'm happy about it."



 >>/79457/
Thanks! yeah let's see what's left of the research career in 10 years with how fast AI is moving. I know I've had immense help from AI this past spring, Claude Code has made my coding so much faster and more efficient.
 >>/79458/
Heh, I started my thesis in early 2021, wasted a couple of years on doing bad research that led nowhere












































Had a kebab from a still quite fresh new kebab spot which originates from Wrocław it is supposedly godly.
Took a gemuse one with hot saus, it wasn't godly, but it was way way better than the vile powerball meat ones some darkies sell.
Won't be a staple, but if I ever feel like it there is an option for a good kebab.





 >>/79505/
It is Polish owned and staffed but based Poland was always just a meme, we were not based, we were an afterthought for the darkies who went to the rich places.
The flood with 3rd worlders is well under way and all the politicians are doubling down it, couldn't see a darker person for months 10 years ago, can't ride through town without seeing multiples now.








 >>/79512/
Don't feel like that yet, I think our general unruliness - which drives me up the wall because these assholes will push every little rule out of pure laziness or spite if the consequences for breaking it are not immediate - will make true anarchotyranny hard to establish, we will outanarchy the tyrants, but the same playbook is being out into place.
I think now sudacas are the worst, clearly barely human, nothing happening behind their eyes but basic instinct, blasting their retarded reggaeton, you are almost sure every one of them has a knife.
























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> The Shimano™ breakaways has 2 minutes advantage over the Peloton (brought to you by SRAM™) and are quickly approaching the climbing section (brought to you by Soudal™).
> Climbing section (brought to you by Soudal™) is where the road goes uphill

> Not Jorgen Nordhagen, but Alessandro Pinarello is the new leader after the third stage of O Gran Camiño. After the finish, the young Norwegian from Visma | Lease a Bike was allowed onto the podium to receive the yellow leader's jersey, but that decision was reversed by the organizers almost two hours later. 

> About an hour and a half later, the organizers posted on X that they had reviewed the times of both riders once again. “The narrow differences led to a thorough revision of the times of both riders and the bonuses earned during the stage, resulting in Alessandro Pinarello as the leader. The NSN rider, in the yellow jersey tomorrow,” the statement reads.


















 >>/79556/
I do cobbled climbs sometimes but not often because stuff like the koppenberg, paterberg is just not fun to ride. Kwaremont is alright.
Flat cobbles I avoid unless I'm doing some social rides, it is torture on the bike and wheels and unlike WT pros I don't have a car with free 1000 euro wheels following me.







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First really hot day of the year. A few laps thru CP. My form is terrible but eh, just riding is a joy these days.

Really enjoying the summer fashions on display. The biker shorts are even shorter and tighter than last summer.


 >>/79549/
 >>/79533/
Looks good bert. Think you could do 300W for 30min? Or do you have good enough hills for that kind of effort?
And for what it's worth I don't usually get many (you)s for my rides either, but that's what you pay the coach for, commenting is mandatory for him











> Bálint Makrai was caught during an out-of-competition control on March 30, 2026. The 19-year-old neo-pro from the Hungarian-Italian ProTeam MBH Bank CSB ​​Telecom Fort has been informed of his positive doping test by the International Testing Agency (ITA). It concerns an Adverse Analytical Finding (AAF) for the substance metandienone metabolite.

That team will get disbanded within 2 years.








 >>/79583/
The person who's first in our league have both wellens and Vermeersch. Cosnefroy in pre race interview when speaking about Vermeersch said he was in "pre-vacation" laughing.

Wellens in pre race interview said he would have liked to have two more weeks and they legs weren't there.

Does this bert knows things and those people are one again bullshitting us.




















 >>/79606/
lol
# Pick the combo number in args to get a formatted printout with same teams.
num = 6
df_sameteam = get_rider_df(num, columns, df)
print(">"+str(num)+"==\n")
for i, row in df_sameteam.iterrows():
if i > 1:
print(i, ' '.join(list(row)))
for j in range(len(users_riders_list)):
el = users_riders_list[j]
if set([st.lower() for st in row]).issubset([st.lower() for st in el]):
print('>'+el[1])
print('\n')

else:
pass

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33 Romain Grégoire
29 Mauro Schmid
27 Tibor Del Grosso
21 Benoît Cosnefroy
12 Alex Baudin
11 Tim Wellens
10 Brady Gilmore
9 Florian Vermeersch
8 Jenno Berckmoes
8 Quinten Hermans
7 Edoardo Zambanini
7 Clément Venturini
3 Valentin Madouas
2 Toon Aerts
1 Filippo Baroncini
1 LUKE LAMPERTI
1 Bryan Coquard
1 Sandy Dujardin
1 Maximilian Schachmann
1 Milan Menten
1 Mikkel Frølich Honoré
1 Senna Remijn
1 Lukas Nerurkar
1 Andreas Leknessund
1 Fredrik Dversnes


> 6=

2 Romain Grégoire Mauro Schmid Tibor Del Grosso Benoît Cosnefroy Alex Baudin Brady Gilmore
> Patje's Angels
> ReversePedalers


2 Romain Grégoire Mauro Schmid Tibor Del Grosso Benoît Cosnefroy Alex Baudin Quinten Hermans
> Quinde
> The Dumbest Team










so let's check who's even racing dubs this year. 
> squillaume
> ricitello
well, grim. for whatever reason visma did the dubs races last year with t-rex doing some nice efforts. but non-french wt teams seem to stay away from coupe de france races.

























My commentator said that on their internal Eurosport commentators group there was one FEMALE commentator who made a big fuss on how the French and Dutch names of the Pfeil should be pronounced.
Who could that be.













































































































> “Stevie Williams is still undergoing intensive rehabilitation for a thigh tendon condition,” writes the WorldTeam, which was Israel-Premier Tech last year, in a social media update. “With the plan to return to full training within the next four to six weeks.”

> Like the 29-year-old Williams, his 23-year-old teammate Blackmore is also absent. Although the team had placed him on provisional start lists, this was against better judgment. “Joe will undergo further consultations with specialists in the United Kingdom and Belgium. This is to investigate persistent knee pain during training, which has kept him sidelined so far this year,” the team stated.

fucking hell did they hire the previous ag2r dude as physio









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 >>/79762/
its inspired by one of your route suggestions. first to tulln along the danube, then through Irenental to Pressbaum, then the loop down south and back through Hochstraß, Pressbaum, Purkersdorf, Riederberg down, Tulbingerkogel, Exelberg down, Goldenesbründl, Donau back to Vienna. at least thats the plan




I remember a Polish dude making a great IWO. He pedaled from Warsaw to Florence and back, through Austria, Hungary and Northern Hungary. Perhaps Clobenia I don't remember that well. It was a two week vacation I think.











> Prudhomme a estimé qu'il y avait « 90 % » de chances de voir Seixas sur la Grande Boucle, et expliqué qu'il attendait « avec délectation les prochaines semaines, et sa décision à lui, de son équipe ou de sa famille ». « Jusqu'au mois de février, avant qu'il ne gagne en Ardèche, je disais : S'il ne vient pas, on ne lui en voudra pas. Mais à ce moment, mon regard a changé. Ce qu'il a fait au Tour du Pays basque en gagnant trois étapes, en écrasant ses adversaires, en étant le meilleur en montée et en descente... Donc là, je dis simplement que s'il vient, je ne lui en voudrais pas non plus », a-t-il avoué
The hype is sureal. His next contract is going to be higher than pog's

Yeah, I've had it with the burger doing the podcast with Bruyneel.
> yea so this guy tobayas johan andersen, i mean tobayas johansen.. him and andreas are twins?
> yeah das crayzeee
> paul seixas, am i saying it right johan? sexass yeah, das WILD












> Tom Pidcock will not start the Amstel Gold Race. The Briton from Q36.5 has chosen instead to return to racing in the Tour of the Alps. This was announced by the race organizers themselves.
so he's gonna do LBL a day after tour of the alps? sounds like a disaster




















To be honest, I get a little irritated with my dad because he keeps buying these big sailboats (always new), keeps them for a few years while absolutely blowing thru money maintaining them, and then sells at a huge loss. If he had just bought a lake house or something, our family would have a nice vacation home to share together and keep for the future.





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So anyway, I had a week off and then had to drive one day with a mentor to see if you're not fucked up or something. Apparently some people have troubles or nightmares after an accident, but I guess I am a cold hearted bastard because I didn't feel shit. So I am BACK






























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The sound from right pedal is back
My "fix" didn't even last 14 days

Last two weeks I have been talking with Assioma with play in me right pedal, the ticket has finally escalated from l1/l2 to """"technician"""". My goal is they offer me a discount on the new version of assiomas.
If they tell me to go fuck myself, I will probably invest in those power2max (Presented by Malawi Bert)
















weather was too nice to stay home. 
let's see what I missed:
> Der Angriff Steiners in Bosnien ist erfolgt
dude is 25 already. I thought pogiteam was for juniors.
> Dan Dickman next Dutch GC hope
he probably needs to learn from Dumoulin at some point in his career
> dopathlon revenge against jegat 
> some volta legends left in cabeza at gran camino





































 >>/79894/
I have no idea who dis.
But I also haven't watched snooker since forever.
Guess the bong kulturkampf via relentless broadcast of their """sport""" has taken hold.
Guess this kid is young, no one named their child Antoni for 50 years and now the name is back.
There is also supposedly a new Polish Messi coming up the ranks but I think there were already like 5 of them.







 >>/79851/
Very cool bert! Good speed/power ratio there.
 >>/79793/
Also very cool, nice power PR. 10min is imo kind of a nice time for power, not too short so that the lactate isn't crazy from the start, and still short enough that the suffering is pretty short-lived.

 >>/79906/
Yeah, wanted to do full climb so 15minutes but at 5 I felt it was going to be long so I just went all in on 10. This is probably my last hard effort in a while. Now just outdoor riding and occasional threshold to keep the form








































 >>/79943/
> But the world title was not denied for long: he won the 1966 championship not too far away from his home, at the Nürburgring. There was controversy because Altig had been helped by Gianni Motta, riding that day for Italy but normally Altig's companion in the Molteni team. The concern was quickly overshadowed by the refusal of the first three riders to give urine samples for a drugs check. They were protesting at what they saw was the laxity with which tests were carried out and at what they considered restrictions on the way they prepared themselves. Altig said: "We are professionals, not sportsmen." The three were disqualified and suspended but ten days later the Union Cycliste Internationale allowed the result to stand.
SQUEAK





 >>/79947/
I watched some videos of the ulle days where they had Altig in the commentary box and someone in the comments called him Rudi "the rolling pharmacy" Altig because he supposedly injected anything he could get his hands on



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What a stressful day yesterday. On Wednesday, I finally got the Ascent Aeroo handlebars + Anaconda stem I had been waiting for the whole winter, just in time for the race season. So then I visited the local bike shop and they were able to swap the cockpit and do the routing by Friday. All good! Yesterday I was supposed to go and test the bike when around 10AM I get a mail from the company titled "PRODUCT RECALL / STOP USING ANACONDA STEMS IMMEDIATELY". Some carbon cracking hijincks apparently. Fuck fuck fuck, what will I do now? i ain't got the tools to undo internal routing and put my old stem+handlebar system back on. Contacted all LBS's in the area and one of them was willing to do it after their team development day. So it ended up being around 9:30 PM when it was finally ready, god bless. But extremely stressful waiting for it, I couldn't race my rim brake bike since it's over 0.5kg too light for UCI races, so that's out of the question. But looks like I'm good to go now. Too bad I won't be able to race with the Aeroo, would have been great for aero position.




















let's see
treinbert believes in big jorg
don patje has schmid 
bertaczek with skelly and frigo
dog bless kurwabert murrica fuck yeah
rusbert with tibor, hagenes and laporte 
current classics leader is frfr on god but still has godON




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34 	Remco Evenepoel
28 	Romain Grégoire
19 	Benoît Cosnefroy
12 	Matteo Jorgenson
12 	Paul Lapeira
7 	Mauro Schmid
7 	Kévin Vauquelin
7 	Mattias Skjelmose
6 	Alex Baudin
6 	Alexander Kamp
5 	Dorian Godon
5 	Brady Gilmore
5 	Andreas Kron
4 	Antoine L'Hote
4 	Tibor Del Grosso
3 	Ion Izagirre
3 	Per Strand Hagenes
3 	Quinten Hermans
3 	Andrea Vendrame
2 	Frank Van Den Broek
2 	Senna Remijn
2 	Frits Biesterbos
2 	Tim Van Dijke
2 	Anders Foldager
2 	Quinn Simmons
2 	Stan Dewulf
2 	Alex Aranburu
1 	Noa Isidore
1 	Fernando Barceló
1 	Jordan Labrosse
1 	Milan Lanhove
1 	Huub Artz
1 	Haimar Etxeberria
1 	Clément Champoussin
1 	Marco Frigo
1 	Xabier Mikel Azparren
1 	Christophe Laporte
1 	Leander Van Hautegem
1 	BEN TULETT
1 	Andreas Leknessund
1 	Oscar Chamberlain
1 	Emiel Verstrynge












Jorgenshit follows Remco. He never pulls of course hè. Remco seethes for a few km's. Remco chutes in some corner or invisible pothole or something. Jorgenshit wins. This is the story for today














Watched 2019 Amstel Gold highlights with Bertina. Her assessment: "you can tell this was pre COVID because he actually looks tired at the end"

She's right. What dope did they all use in 2020?





































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