> Aunt prides herself for being a supposedly cheap eater
> in fact, she prides herself in all things that she does and sees all as inferior to her
> I don't eat like her, as I'm neither obese nor am I a vegan
> being skinny and tall and male doesn't help the situation when she's short and fat and 3 times divorced, thus hates men with a passion
> She hates me and thus uses my supposed bad spending habits as a target of passive aggressive bullying
> knowing all this and seeing it made apparent by the barely concealed disgust on her face, I devise my plan. For 3 months I research and create it
> after 3 months, I have built up a dynamic with her of joking about my bad food expenditures
> Not that I agreed with her, but merely allowed her to continue saying these things
> then comes the bomb
> get first real money earned (I got fired after 4 days anyway)
> she decides it's time for oh so expensive me to buy my own food and see the REAL cost
> agree completely with her
> got to the store, she spends the entire journey talking at me about how hard it will be for me to eat cheaply when I eat mainly "junk" food (aka normal southern east coast food)
> go around shopping, ignore her advise
> carefully check the nutritional and caloric content per dollar on every item
> work it down to about 2 dollars average per day, including slightly expensive items at her angry request
> get to the check out
> see her smugly waiting for me with the food she bought to eat on our trip in the car tomorrow (a disgusting thing she does every day consisting of spending 10+ hours driving around and 30 minutes completing "work" tasks for her mexican boss)
> ring it up with my newly bought credit card
> see the cost, it's about 55 dollars for one months worth of food
> she goes to pay for hers
> 59 dollars is the price of her vegan snack collection amounting to barely 3000 calories
> unaware of this, she looks up at me smiling smugly
> "mine was much less, wasn't it?"
> give a tiny smirk
> her face falls into one of disbelief
> "n-no way"
> "that's not right, there's no way yours is-"
> "I think it might be less"
> "that's impossible!"
> "Well, mine was 54.79, how about yours?"
> she simply gapes
> stuttering and ranting the entire way back about how I must have miscalculated and how bad my food must have been to be so cheap and that she's the one who really made the good economic choices
> her pride and delusion of superiority, crushed
> naturally, being a woman, she complains for the rest of the night, but that cannot destroy the taste of sweet victory
> infinite GBP for the rest of the year