so after some traumatic stuff my mom said and my sister said i felt so betrayed and hurt that i didnt want to be in the same house as them, so i left. im a very emotionally sensitive person but physically and mentally im tough, i dont really mind sleeping in the cold or walking around in the dark. back in 2024 i used to spam posts about homelessness kind of as an inside joke to myself because i feared it so much and idk why, i think subconsciously i knew that this was going to happen. 17 year old me was not prepared but now im 19 and have had my heart broken many times and it has toughened me up to a point where i could handle the adventure, which deep down i actually wanted all along. Im what most psychiatrists would call schizoaffective/bipolar 1, and as such i have had trouble working jobs like normal people. I was put on disability which i was very uncomfortable with from the get go but i kept it coming in because it helped my family (poor.) I always yearned to be more self sufficient, its one of the only things that gives me self confidence, i could care less about my looks or my height, what matters to me is if i could survive on my own and defend myself. So going homeless was actually an extremely liberating feeling, for the first time in my life it felt like i wasnt being fed with a silver spoon, and there was actually a challenge to life instead of wasting away at home 24/7.
im still on NEETbux, which makes it easier. Theres some guy named joey the gypsy who talks about his experience being homeless and how he never begged, only worked for his money, he would do creative stuff like portraits and standup comedy for change. That always sounded like fun to me, it seems much more rewarding than the jobs ive worked at, because they leave you drained with no creative passions left, and you become like a soulless automaton "wishing your life away" as joey would have put it. Maybe ill get there one day, but right now im still in a lot of shock from what my family has done, and sometimes i lose my ability to speak english. Im sure it'll get better with time though