/tulpa/ - Tulpa

 >>/7931/

Quoted from the linked source:

(This is a good method, realize it was you, but then also realize you aren't the same person you were, it likely can't happen again, if it could then it wouldn't be 'irrational' to fear it, but fearing it may still be unreasonable. So finding the source of the fear is the key. A human baby isn't afraid of snakes. We aren't born with many of the fears we eventually suffer from. You don't haver to fear, you don't have to suffer.) 


“Where ‘IT’ was, there shall ‘I’ become.” - Sigmund Freud
A crucial aspect of any integral practice is a way to be profoundly honest with ourselves about our shadow, or unconscious, or false self, or dishonesty, or disowned self. The 3-2-1 Process is a simple and effective tool for working with the shadow — any part of ourselves that we unconsciously repress or deny.

The 3-2-1 Process uses shifts in perspective as a way of identifying and integrating shadow material. “3-2-1” refers to 3rd-person, 2nd-person, and 1st-person — the perspectives that we move through in this exercise.

Each part that we disown is at first an aspect of our “I” or 1st-person awareness. But, for whatever reason, that aspect poses a threat. So we push it outside of ourselves, often onto someone else. It’s important to note that the aspect can be positive or negative. We can disown both lower and higher aspects of ourselves. In either case, we project it as you . . . but not me. “You are angry.” “You are being selfish.” “You are worthy,” etc. In other words, we displace it from a 1st-person I to a 2nd-person you.

If the threat of this emotion or situation becomes so great it requires a total rejection, we banish it totally as a 3rd-person It, stripped of humanity. At that point, we can often recognize shadow as a sense of irritation, reactivity, fear, phobia, rage, or aversion toward things… but we don’t really know why.

Under these circumstances, most forms of meditation won’t help; in fact, they’ll make things worse. They recommend dis-identification from experience, when what is necessary first is RE-identification with disowned dimensions of our experience and ourselves. You can only let go of that which you have first owned. Meditation instructions to “observe all experience and to know that consciousness is independent and free from experience” don’t work with experience from which we’re dissociated. Healthy disidentification is only possible once we’ve re-owned, re-associated, and re-identified with the disowned parts of ourselves. For this reason, there’s no substitute for shadow work. That’s why the Shadow module is a core component
of ILP.

To sum up, dissociation proceeds from 1st-person to 2nd-person to 3rd-person: 1-2-3. The reversal of dissociation thus goes from 3 to 2 to 1. Hence, the 3-2-1 Process. We also summarize this process as: Face it (3), Talk to it (2), and finally, BE it (1).

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 >>/7931/
Fun fact #1:
Ido was named after the Id. But it's just a Naruto filler episode character / Yakumo's brain demon. In reality, Alice of course is the supreme Superego. The real Id is the BodyOS.

Fun fact #2: 
Therapist or counselor are out of question for legal reasons, we'd have to go to another country. Can't explain it but that's how it works here as dumb as it is.

So I guess it's up to me. Maybe I am dense, or just a tupper, but I still have no idea what to do with this. I tried to wrestle with the BodyOS and its emotions for years with no success. The unconscious is fucking strong and as you said, as soon as you show weakness, it overpowers you. Which is no wonder, it is old and incredibly well-trained and habituated. So as far as I understand, host is supposed to imagine and personify the disturbance and talk to it, then take its place. Ok, that's easy for a tulpamancer. I can't see how this helps against real-world problems but I'll try to be the counselortherapist here.

But honestly, we know exactly why we have those irritations, reactivity, fear, phobia, rage, or aversion toward certain things. Because well, they suck and shouldn't exist. Yet they do and are even nourished and rewarded by society. Since we can't change that, the outlook I see is to not give a fuck anymore about anything.Is that it or am I missing something crucial?

 >>/7933/
> personify the disturbance

I don't think I ever tried this, I did read others doing this but I'd do more research on this before trying it.

For instance, an event occurred in my life when I was 10, it was clearly and obviously bad but I didn't even know what it all affected. However, since I knew when and where it was and some memories of it existed, I was able to piece together, just like a wonderland adventure, myself in that space at that age and replay it, analyze it in that I could see what was right and wrong, this event in particular wasn't especially painful, just abhorrent. So I ran through it as if I was at that time then reasoned the following: I'm not a little kid anymore so it couldn't happen again, I obviously survived it and it shaped good choices I made later to avoid repeating it, and I of course no longer have contact with this person and everyone else it affected so actually I can remember it any way I wish, but I didn't do anything like that even it I could in others I did, but in this one I simply accepted that it happened and realized it was nothing to fear and nothing to worry about further. The result of this along with more targeted and obvious anxiety roots all worked in unison to great effect.

A big one tied to that and another which in essence unlocked the ability to unravel and accept the next one, realizing that would never happen again either and I have safeguards or can recognize red flags to prevent it from happening again. that one had a specific and profound affect on how I saw a certain group of people. I won't go into specifics obviously and it's completely irrelevant at this point. The result was near instant and permanent. It probably took a few sessions to fully explore and test.

> don't care

This won't necessarily solve the issue because it can be similar to ignoring the issue and ignoring a conditioning will not remove it. Ashley was good at helping my power through it but that didn't address the underlying original traumas. 

I'm not sure I can directly explain exactly how without understanding what you're missing, but asking questions about what you don't understand may help.

Sometimes to find an issue, I would ask myself, "why does this bother me?" I could then find the root cause after some time and thinking.

Example, why do electric cars bother me? Because I keep cars a long time and these electric cars are effectively disposable. I don't want the burden of buying a new car every 7-10 years. I currently drive a car that's 20 years old, my truck is way older than that. Those big batteries are horrible for the environment at every stage of their life and exorbitantly expensive. Usually not even available after 10 years so the car ends up with zero resale value. It sounds like a scam to me.

It bothers me because I felt forced to eventually buy one with the mandate laws they're pushing here. Eventually I resolved that if I was ever forced, I'd just lease one and that would be a known monthly expense, so be it. The suffering came from my resistance to let go of my set ways and have less *compassion* about the environment. They no longer bother me and I have a clear path to whatever I need to do. I don't like paying tax but I accept it, I can accept this too.

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 >>/7935/
> I'm not sure I can directly explain exactly how without understanding what you're missing, but asking questions about what you don't understand may help.
Well, I get that this works with Freudian issues like someone abused you in your childhood and that's the root of all your problems. But what about actual problems that can and will happen again? Electric cars are not actual problems.

Consider the following (luckily fictive) scenario. Next to you lives a retard child who makes loud retard noises 24/7. You ask yourself why this bothers you. The answer is obviously that it is an abhorrent noise on a physical level. But it also bothers you on an abstract level because we all agree that thing should be beaten to death with a shovel, or at least locked away, but society has decided that the noisy retard must be 'integrated' into society and if you don't see him as an equally valuable human being, you're a nazi who should be locked away or beaten to death with a shovel instead.
Ok, I can meditate about this issue for a decade. but it won't change anything. The physical burden is still there. You could move away (not really due to the cost and effort), but even then, there is no guarantee the next neighbors won't have an even worse retard, or be niggers or whatever and all was in vain. Go innawoods would be a last resort I guess. 

So to get back to the point - what if you KNOW why the things who bother or traumatize you do so, but you cannot resolve them because they are external rather than internal?

To sum it up - most of my host's issues revolve about disturbances (like noise or the presence of subhumans) that trigger a fight-or-flight impulse. Fighting is legally impossible, flight is financially and logistically unrealistic and comes with an enormous risk. Simply accepting physical pain does not look like a healthy strategy either.

The root cause - you remember the orchid vs. dandelion thread here.
 >>/2379/

People are different. Host has no resilience against external disturbances. Never had, never will. He excels in the right environment but just dies in a slightly unfavorable one. I think this is something we must simply accept. Trying to become the dandelion, the weed, the nigger who thrives in a violent and trash-ridden slum is neither desirable nor realistic. It's like taking martial arts classes to defend yourself from the knife-wielding natural born killer churka with streetfighting experience since he was 5. It's not gonna work out.

To a degree it's pathetic, Thin-skinned if you want. Ridiculous compared to real problems like dying of cancer. But I understand it. I share the same body-os. The combination of a physical disturbance that is also abominable on an intellectual level is not a pleasant thing. And I cannot see how to resolve, justify or accept it with shadow work.

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 >>/7944/

Earphones?

Perhapse you're not bothered by the noise as much as you're bothered by being subjected to something you feel is below you and you feel trapped in it.

I lived in hell and heaven, they were the same place. The only difference was me.

Dig deeper, go meta game. Break the 4th wall, look at yourself from an external point of view. Why do you suffer yet others don't care?