/ausneets/ - AusNEETs

The bored four NEETs


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No. 852054 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852051/
lel you are Dyslexic arent you ?

I respectfully asked for moofies to get added added to the list and then when wombo feels like it he asks us to vote on the list and a decision is made based on popular demand 

so bye bye seweety







































































No. 852125 [Preview] [Reply]
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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13406187/Gladstone-Hotel-Stockton-nsw-tooheys-little-john.html?ito=native_share_article-nativemenubutton

I want to find out if he is a dwarf.






















No. 852147 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852145/
do you? i forget that it does get cold in south australia and tasmania. anyway nothing worse than sitting in your car waiting for it to defrost whilst knowing you're already late and toilberg's going to pretend not to notice when you get in and be passive aggressive to you about it















































No. 852194 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852190/
> In 2014, researchers published findings from a study involving over 1,600 males in the United States. In this study, the average dimensions for an erect penis were 14.2 cm (5.6 in) in length and 12.2 cm (4.8 in) in circumference. The participants submitted their own measurements and received condoms in exchange.





























No. 852223 [Preview] [Reply]
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I took a shit in the shower once with the intention of stomping it down the drain but I was too grossed out by the feeling of it against my foot so I picked it up in some toilet paper and threw the bastard in the toilet.











































No. 852266 [Preview] [Reply]
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https://www.news.com.au/sport/afl/almost-made-me-sick-anthony-albanese-torched-over-song-celebration/news-story/d9e130ca0425bc2ddec8fe3af597f32f
Albo went into an AFL dressing room just to look at players' cocks.









No. 852275 [Preview] [Reply]
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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) is the directoral debut for Shane Black, who had previously been a scriptwriter for Lethal Weapon, Predator, The Last Boy Scout and Last Action Hero. It's about two-bit crook Harry Lockhart (Robert Downey Jr.) stumbles into an audition for a mystery film while on the run from the cops. Winning the part, he lands in Hollywood, where he's flung into a tangled, murderous conspiracy. 1 hour, https://cytu.be/r/womboflix















No. 852290 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852287/
Stop being such a Negative Nancy
 >>/852287/
Always was Always will be.
 >>/852288/
Its a comical state of affairs really. My EEB can weighs 22kg and can do 55km/h with a 250w legal motor. 

This talaria weighs 84kg has a 600w motor and tops out at 80km/h. It acelerates like a bat outta hell.


Basically its cocaine: the bike. Its totally illegal and People are just mad mad because they dont have it and you do. But it will fuck you up eventually.












No. 852302 [Preview] [Reply]
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https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/woman-23-left-unable-to-have-sex-after-gruelling-cancer-treatment/news-story/0bad58b671f123aa5e585ea36dd47b57
oh boo fucking hoo bitch
how many blokes never get to have a root ever?

































No. 852336 [Preview] [Reply]
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Good Morning NEETs

Up early. Went for a brap on the Talaria, got a bacon and egg roll toasted. Opened the shop on time. Motivated to smash out some work today. This is the opposite of NEETdom.

 >>/852335/
> get pizda
thats not how it works, you eat leftover pizda, you do not aquire it






No. 852342 [Preview] [Reply]
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The $750 Centrelink cash relief initiative is a lifeline for Australian citizens facing financial struggles in the face of high inflation rates and cost of living. More than just money, it shows the government cares about its people and responds to their basic needs.


No. 852344 [Preview] [Reply]
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gonna work on the falcon today, hope I can get the tub off before it pisses with rain. Mechanics tomorrow with a written summary of the whole freakin saga. I hope Barry didnt take too much coke and molly on his recent trip to hamilton island.







No. 852351 [Preview] [Reply]
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The government's larger initiatives to assist people and families affected by the financial consequences of the epidemic include the $4000 Centrelink Payment April 2024. Centrelink $4000 Bonus April 2024 is intended to provide financial support to people who require emergency help due to financial hardship.


No. 852353 [Preview] [Reply]
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Hidden Centrelink payments is a special income benefit scheme initiated by Centrelink to its eligible individual who qualify low income level criteria. These are unpopular or unknown payments schemes provided by Centrelink to its beneficiaries.

No. 852354 [Preview] [Reply]
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The Government aims to lessen the financial strain and guarantee the eligibility for the essential groceries. The beneficiary has to determine the financial hardship which prevents them from meeting the basic needs and the individuals shall be the citizens of Australia.

No. 852355 [Preview] [Reply]
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Centrelink one-off payments 2024 is a government scheme that provides $250 worth of immediate cash needs during an unexpected financial crisis. Usually, people in emergency situations need instant help, and these are the types of payments are made for them.








No. 852363 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852362/
yeah its almost worth being NEET just for the healthcare.

Shit fucking sucks, a consult was like 35 bucks a pop after rebate, A pack of 20 codeine tabs was 25 fucking dollars and i had to see a specialist who did jack shit gave me a 15 minute consult and basically told me go see a physio.... thats was $180 thanks....








































No. 852403 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852398/
Chucked a sickie.
Had a tub of strawberry yoghurt for breakfast.
Took Sweetie for a long walk.
Insisted on Subway for lunch rather than another counter meal. Had a six inch Italian BMT.
Got a jar of pasta sauce and some meatballs for spaghetts for dinner.
Can't do too many more of these.























No. 852426 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852372/
i never have in my life heard codeine called mindies and have no idea why

when i was pharming i just called em fortes or cody, if i was speaking to normies i would just say its morphine because thats what your liver turns it into and gets you high anyway









No. 852435 [Preview] [Reply]
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https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-05-13/snake-in-a-ute-lisa-kournelis-living-nightmare/103836544
God these people are fucking dumb.
Put a dead mouse in a rat trap on the back seat.
Pump nitrogen into the car.
Set fire to the car.
Literally dozens of ways to get it.




















No. 852455 [Preview] [Reply]
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As I get older I realise both my parents were mentally ill (undiagnosed and untreated) and just general weirdos and losers.
I never had a chance.
I would be more compassionate towards them if they hadn't been so pointlessly cruel to me as well.


































No. 852489 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852474/
I have been going off the deep end this past week. Off my face every day, embarrassing messages, waking up with the shakes, generally living a woeful existence. Might try and move back in with my Mum, I can’t be trusted to look after myself to be totally honest











No. 852500 [Preview] [Reply]
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Took the falcon to the car wash and it broke down. Spent most of the afternoon huffing petty fumes waiting for the tow truck. Took it to Barry Swindle's garage, so mission accomplished, I guess. Had to catch the bus back with all the weirdos and high schoolers doing unfathomable shit on their smartphones. Got a headache. Bread and battered fish for tea. Over and out.







No. 852507 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852489/
Monk you burnt your bridges with your mom. Thats thats not going be ever. (i know)
You were a shit vol / BO (and oissed me off)
If i have advice for you is as bad as you feel you havent event come close to hitting rock bottom.

Get blinfd Drunk, Steal a car, Rob a pharmacy, Steal some random JEETs iphone just for fun.

Then and only then will a medical professional listen to you seriously and give you inpatient help and some non shit medication. 

Pro:tip try and break a bone and get some paon meds. You are welcome,















No. 852522 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852510/
Kek.
I hope some money comes in soon neet. You should look into shop lifting. I've done it before and it isn't that hard. I purchased a few items by going through the self serve checkouts and just so happened to have a few other items tucked into my messenger bag.

No. 852523 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852519/
Shit advice. If you can't back your car then you shouldnt have one. This is how normies get on that new car every 50 000km hamster wheel. Car finance is a trap that chicken shits think is a good idea because some one else can deal with maintainance issues. Then guys who can fix things get them cheap. tighten up a leakey gasket and have it purring to sell on or keep. You dont realize that after you get to a certian point with mechanical knowledge, everything is virtually free.





No. 852528 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852523/
I have been following the full saga of that NEET and his car. The car has reached the natural end of its life. Mystery issues that can't be identified and repair costs that are more than the value of the car.

Time for a new (used) car.







No. 852535 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852522/
DO NOT EVER EVER EVER TRY TO STEAL SHIT AT THE SELF SERVE CHECKOUTS THEY ALL HAVE DOWN FACING CAMERAS ABOVE YOU NOW WITH AI LOOKING AT YOU

i got checked by the attendant because the machine did not recognise the 100gm of garlic i weighed and purchased was actual garlic there was another camera scanning up through the bottom plate as well. Tha thing plastic bag we all roll off the spool confused the machine learning. TLDR you could steal it 4 years ago but not today.






No. 852542 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852536/
No, No you cant. If you could you would have to time it perfectly and be lucky enough to have a machine bordering on the entrance. There are (4) and time it when the self serve attendant is busy fixing up someone elses double scans or fuckups (this usually taks half their time. And you would still be on camera offloading it and shpooing centre would have your plates.

Risky but do-able. Casino Odds.





No. 852547 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852541/
I got the honeycomb a few weeks ago, that time when I said I was definitely getting on the wagon the next day. You remember that time right? Anyway, I don't recommend it, if you want the proper honeycomb experience get those cubes from violet crumble or crunch, they never disappoint.


No. 852549 [Preview] [Reply]
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You can just load a trolley full of stuff and walk out without paying. It will all be on video though.
Everything is on video. For small items they may not bother going after you, but if you keep doing it they will take action.








No. 852557 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852549/
You can steal shit from woolies anytime you want, but their AI is good enough to facial scan people now and flag them. Do it 4 weeks in a row and coppers could be waiting at the the door.

We are all profiled. We all have some social credit score. Its already here































No. 852589 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852585/
You can set up your bank account so that people can pay you by using your mobile phone number - they don't need a BSB or account number. Also the transfer into your account is instant, you don't have to wait until the next day.
This is done through banks, nothing to do with smartphones.











No. 852600 [Preview] [Reply]
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Somebody come get this man
I think he got lost in my DMs, what? My DMs, what?
You better come get your man
I think he wanna be way more than friends, what?
More than friends
What you want me to say?







































No. 852639 [Preview] [Reply]
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> The $750 Centrelink relief package is designed especially for certain Queensland citizens and provides a sense of basedness in the face of economic difficulties.
There were some typos in the original press release












No. 852651 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852613/
Did some situps too. Feel good. The most important thing now is not to leave this until late in the evening, but to get it done early in the morning, so I can reap the benefits of the energy and positive feelings during the day.




No. 852655 [Preview] [Reply]
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First thing tomorrow when I get my shit together I'm going to create a second youtube account, and have it subscribed to all my history channels and only those. I'm sick of trying to lie down and fall asleep and finding my feed full of technical shit and paranormal vidoes































No. 852686 [Preview] [Reply]
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I am a long-time (over 10 years) NEET and these are some comedy shitpost poems that I wrote. They are also on amaZOG if you feel so inclined to buy one (I put memes on the covers lol)

Thank you for your time
=======
files.catbox.moe/4s8yl4.pdf
files.catbox.moe/f21v69.pdf
files.catbox.moe/82sced.pdf
files.catbox.moe/irz98h.pdf
=======
files.catbox.moe/ltjweu.epub
files.catbox.moe/lsp6cd.epub
files.catbox.moe/e41yja.EPUB











No. 852697 [Preview] [Reply]
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Time for the womboflix movie selection committee to meet again! Vote for a movie on the list, or nominate a new movie to be added.

The Sunset Limited(2011)
Outrage(2010)
Godzilla(2014)
Rambo (2008)
Showdown in Little Tokyo(1991)
Who Killed Captain Alex
Wasabi
Truman Show
Trading Places
Fritz the cat
The Commitments
Scum
Wolf Of Wall Street(2013)
The Bourne Identity/The Bourne Supremacy/The Bourne Ultimatum
Don's Party
The Holy Mountain(1973)
Mortal Kombat(2021)
Top Gun (1986)
The Grey(2011)
Dogs in Space (1986)
Reckless Kelly(1993)
Unhinged (2020)
Bronson (2008)
Midnight Run (1988)
Following(1998)
The Usual Suspects(1995)
True Romance (1993)
Prisoners (2013)
Beaches (1988)
American Psycho(2000)
The Untouchables(1987)
Apocalypto(2006)
Once Upon A Time In Holywood
The Northman (2022)
Samurai Cop
Ex Machina
Back To The Future (1985)
Spiderman Across The Spiderverse (2023)
Annie Hall(1977)
Saltburn(2023)
Hard Eight (1996)
Gladiator(2000)
True Grit(2010)
The Wild Geese(1978)
Upgrade(2018)
Alpha(2018)
Spaceman(2024)
Eyes Wide Shut(1999)
Star wars/Empire Strikes Back/Return Of The Jedi
The Warriors (1979)
The Magnificent 7 (1960)
Office Space
The Imitation Game
Steve Jobs
Predator 1/Predator 2
Dr Strangelove
Barry Lyndon
Conspiracy Theory(1997)
Iron Man 1/2/3; The Avengers 1
Until The End Of The World (1991)
Sirens (1994)
Paul(2011)
Drive(2011)
The Naked Lunch(1991)
Renfield(2023)
Police Academy(1984)
Place Beyond The Pines(2012)
Pootie Tang(2001)
Team america world police(2004)
Southpark bigger longer uncut(1999)
Westworld (1973)
Fast And Furious(2001)









No. 852706 [Preview] [Reply]
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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13410955/Dad-three-plunges-death-luxury-cruise-liner-running-eye-watering-debt-ships-casino-tables-insider-reveals-high-rollers-lured-gamble-Australias-shores.html


























No. 852732 [Preview] [Reply]
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Something or someone has eaten through many of the caps on the bottled water I keep in the shed for emergencies.
One of the caps has come clean off. They must have twisted it.
Some sort of monstrous rat perhaps.












No. 852744 [Preview] [Reply]
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> This is a seriously big deal of a whisky, fresh from the San Francisco World Spirits Awards with an unheard-of 99/100, a Double Gold medal and a clear shot at Best in Show, aka World’s Best Whisky.

Colour Golden amber
Nose Fruity with notes of fresh red apples, juicy plum and white peach
Palate Rich and fruity, with notes of wild strawberries, orange zest, vanilla and soft caramel, followed by a subtle hint of toasted oak
Finish Long-lasting creaminess with sweet vanilla and delicate oak spice
Food Match Homemade shepherd's pie with a side serving of greens and Walkers shortbread for dessert










































No. 852786 [Preview] [Reply]
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You fucking fucking bloody fuck you bloody bastard bitch bloody fuck you fucking mother bloody fuck bitch fucking bloody bastard bhenchod bloody why you fuck me I fuck you bloody bastard fucking running like lady yeah fraud what fucking no shout at me fucking bloody




















No. 852806 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852708/
I have that one.

 >>/852803/
 >>/852799/
Recently (not yesterday, but some months before) posted here he's watching The Martian. I remember because I also dl'd it not long after and watched it again, I've seen it before, but I like the part when he tries to make a life there and does some banter and whatnot.
Stream Avenue 5. First season is ebin.



No. 852809 [Preview] [Reply]
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Went in to see barry swindle and take in the typewritten report about whats been done by the other guy. He wasnt in a good mood and just wanted to talk about his trip to the whitsundays. He kept saying he'd move there if he had the cash and queensland is the best if you have money. Just waiting now and sick as fuck with gastro. Not eating anything until probably tomorrow. had to walk home along the freeway and the wind was blowing the truck exhaust at me and i sat on a tree stump in someones front yard and threw up. could see lots of peekers in the windows all around but no one came out to see if I was okay. Spent most of the day in bed. having a cup of coconut water and some panadol fortes. feel rekt and stressed.











No. 852820 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852697/
While the fellas here keep adding to the list I suggest removing some. For example:
I think Sunset Limited is great but not many here would watch it.
We watched Who Killed Captain Alex on Endcorner. I swear we watched The Truman Show too, it wasn't usual Endcorner, and if you keep list of what you streamed then it wasn't usual occasion of Womboflix eithet. But it was on.






No. 852826 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852812/
 >>/852817/
The only Adam Sandler movie that I actually enjoyed was The Longest Yard, which is a remake of The Longest Yard. Mean Machine is also great btw.

 >>/852822/
> you are an imbecile capable of mistaking Jim Carrey with John Malkovich
Thanks, you are very nice.
I think we watched it during an xmas stream or something, since sometimes I deviate from the list I have and put on various requests, like Ace Ventura or The Sphere.


















No. 852844 [Preview] [Reply]
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@Cruisey
> Ginger and Carman are TikTok sensations. Both over 60, they say they refuse to be invisible
https://www.sbs.com.au/news/insight/article/we-refuse-to-act-our-age-how-these-women-over-60-are-dominating-tiktok/91ngcsyds













No. 852857 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852827/
Theres going to be a mining recession, this is widely expected. Plus the mines are mostly foreign owned and can close at the drop of a hat. We dont want no french scum here taking up jobs that would go to diversity milo boongs.













No. 852870 [Preview] [Reply]
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> प्रवासन संख्या फिर से बढ़ने पर विदेशी विश्वविद्यालय के छात्रों पर कार्रवाई
>  >A crackdown on international students has been announced as the government tries to rein in out-of-control immigration
https://www.news.com.au/finance/economy/federal-budget/crackdown-on-foreign-uni-students-as-migration-numbers-revised-upwards-again/news-story/410936c9c998ae8856bf1b8ede61f545































No. 852901 [Preview] [Reply]
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ffs, didn't create my new youtube account. Can you guys please remind me tomorrow. Also I'm deadset gunna have a big bowl of salad right after breakfast, please remind me, and do some cardio. I'm counting on you neets to make me stick to my plans.



No. 852904 [Preview] [Reply]
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The worst part about alcohol withdrawal is that its hard to sleep or even 'feel tired'. My eyes are almost closing after those two bottles of goon but my leg is hyperactive. Regardless I'm not having any more 
Death before goon slavery









No. 852913 [Preview] [Reply]
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> Police were called to a park about 6.30am after a body had been found
> The man was found with severe burns to his body
> likely non-suspicious

https://www.9news.com.au/national/nerang-gold-coast-mans-body-found-in-park/3273b8e5-6cf1-4fb9-82cd-158175d1c14f


No. 852915 [Preview] [Reply]
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They're going to make a movie about this one day.

https://www.9news.com.au/national/greg-lynn-murder-trial-accused-of-killing-campers-russell-hill-and-carol-clay/52abdb33-b14c-451a-93f8-6ba9be80e7e8


No. 852917 [Preview] [Reply]
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I did a 6:30pm to 8:30pm nap. It could cause serious disruption to my normal sleep patterns.
I am uncertain what to do. How late should I stay up?
If I go to bed at the normal time I might be laying there for hours not sleeping.















No. 852932 [Preview] [Reply]
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https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/streaming/the-lord-of-the-rings-the-rings-of-power-season-2-trailer-drops/news-story/334db7b30f11708b130f78a3be2cda50
Oh lawdy it’s morph





No. 852937 [Preview] [Reply]
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https://www.news.com.au/finance/economy/federal-budget/federal-budget-2024-treasurer-jim-chalmers-to-hand-down-cost-of-living-relief/news-story/5002c8b863ac9c72b787299edc355c65
> Treasurer Jim Chalmers has handed down his third budget, with a back-to-back surplus of $9.3 billion for the first time in almost two decades.
> “We have a $28 billion deficit in the coming financial year
what the fucking fuck is this newspeak?









No. 852946 [Preview] [Reply]
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I dont feel sick or shivery any more. I lost most of yesterday in bed but I did everything right. Going to break my fast with something no-fat or maybe a bit of a bannana. Just want to re-hydrate today and do some internet window shopping for a new car






































No. 852984 [Preview] [Reply]
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 >>/852982/
Dedicated  LPG is obsolescent then. Its probably not even that cheap because the gubberment changed the tax on it or something, cunts are saying its 70 cents cheaeper but its 50% less power. 
I cant even swap them over because the stupid gas tank would need to come out. cun
















No. 853004 [Preview] [Reply]
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Went for a walk, bought a choc chip and blueberry muffin. As I sat down I noticed a lot of pidgeons and other birds around, searching on the ground for food scraps, decided I'd share my bounty with the little winged neets. Broke off some pieces of the muffin and tossed it near the birds, but they kept flying away, and didn't trust me. Eventually I broke off a little piece of the muffin, put it slowly on a bench that didn't have anything else on it so they could clearly see it, and went and sat down 20 feet away. After a few minutes a pidge flew down and ate the muffin chunk. Felt good. Felt needed. Would recommend the experience to other neets who are tired of sitting inside all day slumped in front of the screen watching youtube.



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