> My mother's about as demonically narcissistic as it gets, and as supremely awful as that is, I'm still faced with the same nightmarish predicament of my own embarrassing limitations. I'm trapped here, and my mind has been murdered. The rotten remains are all that's left. Worse, I'm completely alone in dealing with it. It's truly surreal, in the most horrifying way, that one's experience of life could amount to nothing less than hell itself. Suffering in excruciating agony, day after day after day, until death itself arrives to claim what's left of you. Out of all the things I find incomprehensible, nothing is more fundamentally beyond imagining that, for the vast majority of people, life is actually worth living. If anything, it just adds that much extra urgency/justification towards killing myself as soon as possible. If only, that is, I had the constitution to go through with it. Just another area I'm lacking in.