/bert/ - ciclismo

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1. Alpecin - Premier Tech: fan made suggestion - not released yet
2. Bahrain - Victorious: not released yet
3. Decathlon CMA CGM Team
4. EF Education - EasyPost: rapha kit replaced by assos

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5. Groupama - FDJ United
6. Ineos Grenadiers: now with more total energies and gobik as kit sponsor
7. Lidl - Trek: mads will win
8. Lotto - Intermarché: not released yet

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9. Movistar Team: now with 111% more AI slop design
10. NSN Cycling Team: what does the n word stand for?
11. Red Bull - Bora - Hansgrohe: the best Hugo Boss could come up with
12. Soudal Quick-Step: now with more green

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13. Team Jayco AlUla: jersey not found
14. Team Picnic PostNL: waar world tour licence?
15. Team Visma | Lease a Bike: going full Rabobank (not official)
16. UAE Team Emirates - XRG: even whiter than before

17. Uno-X Mobility
18. XDS Astana Team
well, not gonna bother looking those up

> 6x week of training with 6x5min max on one day and 40min max TT on the other day, alternating between those.

This sounds terrifying tbqh.

So I have inspected my yesterday's flat, it is a clear, very small pinchazo, very typical case. Inflated wheel does blow through the tire though, but there is basically no damage, no catastrophic anything, not spike, glass, derbis protruding, can't even feel the spot under my finger.
Do I just tactically reload the tube and don't worry? (going to do it anyways)
Mind you this is a 2.2" 29 tire, not a road bike tire.

 >>/55854/
if it's a t*beless tire, I don't see why sealant milk shouldn't work

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> And pain is all around
> Like a bridge over troubled water
> I will lay me down
> Like a bridge over troubled water 
> I will lay me down

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Zesty

 >>/55856/
I don't own any of this devil's discharge. Reloaded, will see how it goes. Now I also can't get rid of disc rubbing. Still, better a bad rolling bike and stops every here and there to try to readjust it with a kurwa thrown out than no city bike at all.

 >>/55858/
I don't know what's worse. freeway or gatorade

 >>/55853/
Sounds big muscles and then complete collapse after 3 hours of riding

 >>/55861/
> riding for more than three hours
don't you have anything better to do?

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 >>/55839/
CAN'T WAIT
And can't wait for my boy and secret pick Derrick CHAVARRIA to finally SCORE some big results after his depressing Vuelta a Chiriqui outing

 >>/55861/
The watts only exists to impress the berts anyway. Doing 160w or 200w on your 150km cruising ride doesn't change much

 >>/55864/
Is that how you cope

 >>/55865/
No cope it's true. Riding with or without the power meter doesn't change anything about how much I enjoy outdoor ciclismo.

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Status update
> new chamois creme arrived, should last a year, it's 250 ml
> two new chains arrived, I now have 4 (four) spare because i didnt realize i already had spare. all bought in deep discount though.
> new tires arrived. I am still not convinced they need replacing though, the wore meter is still clearly visible and the previous pinchazo was most likely an user error
> speaking of user errors, it is possible I used the retard-proof chain wear meter incorrectly, possibly replacing chains before they were actually worn out

 >>/55867/
how did you use it

 >>/55863/
Remember when GRANADOS won and we made all those jokes about going off like a grenade hehehe

 >>/55868/
incorrectly

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i didnt apply this much pressure on the right side, i just put it on the chain and slightly tapped it in
surprisingly it yields different results

 >>/55871/
Do you ever stop and think about what you're doing and how you're doing it dear bertacek

 >>/55871/
interesting

 >>/55872/
> test me chain after 5k km
> chain seems a bit loose
> better replace it
no reason to think about it excessively tbh

 >>/55874/
Why even buy the tool at all then

 >>/55875/
what? obviously it showed the chain was alright early on

replacing early is better than replacing late anyhow, if you replace just as it hits 0.5% elongation your cassette and chainrings basically last forever well except for one tiny cog ...

use the same tyres that came with me bice tbqhwyb, turd chain and second sprockets
only put about 15k km on it total Though, but it was p*rchased used so who knows how far it went before me

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these dudes are just making sure you are getting your daily rape session in

 >>/55879/
it's more special if it's not an everyday occurence

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We live in COSTA RICA
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Q7u8FHx6l1Q
Just crested Altos de Naranjo

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Dude looks 35

del taco does the UAE tour so pogi doesn't have to

> meds pedersen goes to the tour with rat ayuso
< skjelmose, milan and nys go to the giro

 >>/55884/
24 velobux for the il grande gorilla

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> hey Bert let's go swimming today, at least it's safer than being on the road

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 >>/55886/
even in the pool you cannot escape the cagie menace

 >>/55886/
why do the dutch people keep getting stuck in various places?

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 >>/55887/
> out of the way you swimming piece of shit, this is MY lane
 >>/55888/
This was in France Bert, as it CLEARLY says in the filename

 >>/55889/
> multi-lane hogging
the cagie hubris knows no bounds

 >>/55889/
Yes but surely with a dutch driver
Why ELSE would dutch media would be reporting oni t

 >>/55891/
dutch driver in france without a caravan? doubtful

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how long has it been since I have watched ciclismo? feels like an eternity.

 >>/55889/
>  >out of the way you swimming piece of shit, this is MY lane
what a shame you're not buoyant, go drown in your lane down there while I'm floating high above you like an angel

 >>/55889/
at least the airbag went off

 >>/55893/
will cabeza make it?

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 >>/55896/
no

 >>/55896/
clearly not

well the lote can still chute on early konfeti

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21 grey water goose eggs this fine afternoon

Several BIG names behind trying to bridge to the lone Chilean Baeza in cabeza: Granados, Arias, Guamá, Nijssen, Brenes...

 >>/55849/
At least Quickstep will be easier to see in the sea of blue kits. I kind of like the NSN kit if only they removed the white part and went all in on the two main colors.

Jexon Ledezma attacks as the final climb starts, 3 km left

Young Ledezma wins with a brave solo move.

BIG stuff

Bonilla grabs second out of a small group 34 seconds behind, the peloton arrives at 1:13

 >>/55848/
the Lidl square integrates so awkwardly into the kit, still looks awful (design and colors otherwise are fine)

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multiple mates of mine are on teide right now and their watts are even more shit than usual the curse of the mountain is real

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well I was wrong, cabeza won

 >>/55908/
You should have warned them

 >>/55908/
good

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hangover vo2 max not a good idea
at

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at least no pesky sounds coming in from down there

 >>/55912/
6x faahves ?

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 >>/55914/
seven sixes

 >>/55912/
four sevens

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 >>/55914/
no
but so far so good
the more reps the better

fink I'll score some 30-30s today meself

 >>/55918/
no I don't think so after all Friday is lt1 day for (You)

 >>/55918/
you know what, why not

 >>/55919/
I like that the number is odd but it's far too low to be engaging, therefore I shan't be doing this

 >>/55921/
well 2 hours at the very least should make it challenging enough

 >>/55922/
> using up half of weekly volume on a single boring LT1 ride
no thanks sweaty, I trust the science

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 >>/55923/
> low single digit weekly volume
in the ddr they shot people for less

 >>/55924/
four (4) hours per week of pure raw concentrated intensity has proven for nearly fifty years to be the optimal traening methodology, please pay attention to the literature

 >>/55918/
ride the same thing i rode, but better

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 >>/55925/
> mfw I picture the guards taking aim about to execute you for too little bicycle riding

 >>/55926/
go on then la give us a peep at you're noombers

 >>/55918/
Be careful with 30/30s they can easily be threshold session in disguise

 >>/55927/
> turning legs over meekly in some teeny tiny power range far down there below the threshold
hard to imagine someone considering that as "bicycle riding", more a little kids toodle really
me I prefer to score BIG watts in HIGH zones

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 >>/55928/

> "I want to do well in the Ardennes, and a good GC in the Giro doesn't fit in with that anymore. I did want to go to the Giro, but the team decided otherwise. We then came up with a program where Ayuso will do the Tour de France as leader and I will do the Ardennes Classics. I immediately said: that's what we're going to do. The Ardennes Classics are my favorite races, and since I rode the Amstel Gold Race this year, the decision was easy."

> The press conference then became tense. Skjelmose was then asked if he knew that Ayuso was also going to the Ardennes Classics. "No, not that I know of," he responded, when asked if it was new information for the Dane. "Yes, this is new to me. I can't answer the question of whether he'll help me there, because I haven't been told. I was told I would only be the leader in the Ardennes Classics." 

> Finally, Skjelmose is asked about his thoughts on competing with Ayuso in the Ardennes Classics. "It's going to be fun. I think this will be our next conversation with the team," he concludes.

top fucking kek, is there anywhere where they actually like ayuso

 >>/55931/
10x 3 min at 110%, 6 min off
kinda cowardly paced but after MANy a beers it's better than nothing

 >>/55932/
holy RATO

 >>/55931/
 >>/55933/
go on Bertacek, money in the bank that is

 >>/55932/
KEK that's great

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🤠🤠

 >>/55932/
The thing about where he plays FIFA with his teammates and pulls the plug whenever he is losing may be my favorite story of the year

 >>/55932/
Loving it

To be fair, it's not really Ayuso fault's that time. Skjelly got fuck by the team because they think he's a fraud (he is)

 >>/55940/
Then it IS his fault, for being a fraud

skjelmose probably wishes he went to UnoX when he had the opportunity

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> faint squeaking 
> muffled thumping

stinky dopeur stole a prestigious maryland cyclassique from are POWERFUL Neilson

 >>/55942/
Surely they wouldn't accept a former doper in their rank

 >>/55945/
yes well you may be right they certainly don't rate dopeurs who get caught

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 >>/55931/
that's a really good workout you should feel good about that

 >>/55947/
based bert giving himself (You)s by accident from being too enthusiastic in his encouragement

you know if we didn't live in the pogi era the ciccone, skjelmose, nys, ayuso quadtridente would be kino

 >>/55949/
You need to remove a few more after pogi for that

I'm glad to live in the Sepp KUSS era

when the FUCK will EF announce the rest of their roster

wish I could keep my cadenza as even outdoors as it does on the viner

Weather's not as nice as advertised, looks like MTB is on the menu today

 >>/55953/
feels good when you do hills at smooth high cadence

> The uncertainty surrounding Derek Gee-West's future team could soon be over. Lidl-Trek is reportedly on the verge of signing the Canadian. This is according to Irish cycling journalist Daniel Benson.

so Onley to ineos then

 >>/55956/
the bora vs the lidl tridente

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Was fun

 >>/55958/
pinchazoeesque

Pondering this chinesium torque wrench + bits. I would like to have everything to set, but Park Tool asking almost 150 euros for a bare click wrench is a bit stupid.
https://www.amazon.de/dp/B0CGJBNR85?th=1

 >>/55960/
its probably good enough

 >>/55960/
I don't really think you need high end stuff for bike maintenance anyway 
like who cares if it's 0.x N.m off, it will probably wildly change after like 3 rides

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 >>/55960/
with tools it's buy cheap, buy twice. you don't need to pay the park tool tax, but find some reputable manufacturer. or park tool has a cheaper torque wrench where you have to read the torque from the meter.

 >>/55960/
Nah just torque it by your eye
What's the worst thing that could happen?

 >>/55961/
 >>/55962/
 >>/55963/
 >>/55964/
It's probably good enough, I probably don't even need a torque wrench, just screw in stuff until you need start using force to move it further.
I can afford Park Tool tax, but it feels a bit dumb to overpay.
I can afford the Specialized tax too, but I am for sure not overpaying for their new bikes.

Meanwhile, first time watching biathlon since a while and I have no idea who half of these people are.
I hope my guy GALICA will pan out and grug these guys very soon.

 >>/55962/
its not even like the park tool gear is high quality artisan tier gear for example their 100€+ wrench comes with +-4% calibration while that wrench comes with a +-3% calibration certificate, I'm fairly certain that all but actual high quality tools are made in china and just rebranded and cycling tools really aren't particularly high quality as far as I can tell

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The great Yen Yi HO to Equipo Kern Pharma

 >>/55963/
 >>/55966/
Yeah, my tools are far too nice for how often I use them, wanted to keep everything non-powertool Bahco but their torque wrenches are stupid expensive, pointless if they are not a deductible for your business.

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Polish supertalent Wiktor ZASADA to Mazowsze Serce Polski
No word on his brother KYSELA, thoughbeit

 >>/55969/
Tour de Kurwie top 21 legend, no KWAŚNY, KWAS in PCS database. Only some KWAŚNIEWSKI from eons ago.

 >>/55959/
Nah, these XC tyres are gigantic, this is nothing to them

Zed's dead, baby

 >>/55968/
yeah I don't know how many bolt you have to tighten to make a torque wrench for 1000 bucks be worth it for a non professional user but it has got to be a lot

What's up with czechoslovakia and food teams?
> Filip SAIDL from Pierre Baguette Cycling to Fany Gastro Intergay L27

> Brtek Bertaček to Team FANTA-Burger Pivo (CT)
phwoa transfer of the season

cameroon mason is going to win a cx race

 >>/55976/
nevermind lost because he has no explosiveness
vegans lose again

 >>/55977/
when's the next cross to which you'll go Bert ?

Great interview by gulden greg in sporza. Basically grug is a fast runner and will compete for the win tomorrow

 >>/55978/
I'll be at Gavere but unfortunately the coward Van Aert is too much of a certified bitch to show up so I'll just have to witness a grug masterclass with no opposition

 >>/55980/
With enough Jupi you'll only remember the first 10 minutes of it though

 >>/55981/
I barely drink anymore
I'm old and busted

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UAE testing del taco's loyalty like they did with ayuso, will he withstand the pressure of betrayal and his retard genes?

 >>/55982/
Many such cases

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 >>/55983/
good schedule

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Ronde van het Basketland

any berts know a flobikes stream to watch the USA cx championships? doubt they'll have it on tiz or the dad

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 >>/55987/
tiz supposedly has it later on today

 >>/55988/
baste
couldn't make it down to Fayetteville

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 >>/55988/
i wish w*ndows had font rendering this nice

 >>/55990/
there is an easy fix

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Maximilian KEKLR and the gread Daniel TUREK are the next stars joining team Fany Gastro Intragay

Actually bertaczeck running linux might not be the smartest thing

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bertaczek would never ride in those conditions that the riders in Costa Rica are facing right now

 >>/55994/
Me neither tbqh

 >>/55994/
average belgian commute to be honest

 >>/55994/
its SO MUCH wetter outside right now you can't even imagine that

costarican RAI shitting the bed

how do they manage not to chute on the descend?

 >>/55999/
Disc brakes of course

 >>/55996/
the reason I paypigged those overshoes

 >>/55999/
why would they be chuting on a mostly straight road

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 >>/56002/
or rather why wouldn't they LOL

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 >>/56003/
that left one was pure distilled VISMA

 >>/56003/
chuting into turd pile while bearing brown bibs is an all timer, had me giggling all afternoon the rest of the day when it happened

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pogiboys schedule
kinda weird

 >>/56007/
omloop chuds STARVING

 >>/56007/
romandie? wow
very few races lets see if they change it and add some more in there but maybe he really is bored of racing

 >>/56009/
you want to see few races look at roglic' schedule

 >>/56007/
double Suisse kind of based
he will only need Ronde van het Basketland after that

 >>/56010/
vuelta is sufficient nothing more necessary

https://youtube.com/watch?v=mXGIqWTZCnM
kijkers

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ads playing on Costa Rica tv geared towards Berts

 >>/56014/
they know I have scored no eggs today

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have you guys done it yet, didn't pay all the attention

 >>/56016/
I wouldn't know who to vote for I need someone else to tell me who to vote for

 >>/56017/
your boys ofcourse

costa rica RAI with the still image technique

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 >>/56016/
made me visit the UCI homepage of dopeurs to get some inspiration

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cabeza de carrera means head of the race

 >>/56021/
dangerous group! Colono Bikestation Kölbi working hard behind. 20 km to go

 >>/56015/
It's called rest big boy, apparently it's useful

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 >>/56014/
Does it count, if I just had eggs today?

 >>/56020/
waar MAL?

 >>/56025/
further up in the list with a 4 year ban (totally unjustified of course), I just made the list so small to include the Belgian illegally visiting the tour this year.

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I can't imagine living in the tropics. it's hot and wet.

 >>/56027/
Looks like it will be a sprint in the rain, few kilometers left

 >>/56023/
nothing to rest from 2bh

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I guess they are close

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mass sprint without any chutes

Jason Huertas wins!

> Suspended from 2017-12-22 to 2020-12-21
that heurtas guy is sauber

HuertasGOD

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Squeak tax

 >>/56035/
afaik the locals in that area really fucking hate cyclists these days so I'm not surprised that the cops are taking more action from here on out

 >>/56036/
I also hate most cyclists, they got stopped for running a red light by the way
Retard behavior

 >>/56035/
God that's one ugly paintjob

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Lmao

 >>/56035/
Fined for dopage?

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Squeaking about dopage: Jílek NOT NORMAL

 >>/56016/
I scored already tree votes for are SEPP

 >>/56037/
yep me too 
 >>/56040/
excessive fraudulence

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 >>/56041/

> 15 eggs 90 minutes workout
hmm that's not much

 >>/56044/
If this guy gets Olympic gold at age 19 I am gonna SQUEAK

 >>/56045/
nooooooombers pl0x
we need to know what we're dealing with

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 >>/56047/
scotland, just pushed sort of all the hills

 >>/56036/
Same in Malle. No wonder with all the PNS fags going over there all the time.

 >>/56046/
rounder skates

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If you don't believe Sebb Goose can win the La Tour, you doesn't believe in anything

 >>/56051/
Washed since he became a dad.

 >>/56051/
I don't believe in anything

 >>/56036/
> getting germans and dutch tourist all year long
Of course they hate them

 >>/56052/
Many such cases (myself included)

watching track and they keep playing videogame sounds from super mario and the mlg air horn (ancient meme from before my time)

 >>/56048/
> Z3
baseertje

 >>/56051/
he's right, you know

 >>/56051/
bitch better step up because vingo really needs help and jorgenson ain't cutting it

 >>/56059/
Speaking of big jorg, will he finally step out of vingo's shadow this year or will he remain a bitch

> czech sprinter Dominik TOPINKA
based

> big SEPP riding for his own chances
a bert can dream

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 >>/56057/
dangerously high average hr too

 >>/56060/
well I'm a jorgenson hater so I hope he stays down but even if he tries to win a gt I don't think he stands much of a chance. He seemed very content with his place in past interviews

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 >>/56064/
atleast they'll be able to dodge pogi till the tour next year

 >>/56065/
yes but visma's data analysts are suffering bigly from that lack of racing

 >>/56063/
looks like an easy spin to be TBH

 >>/56066/
the token data gatherer valter isn't there anymore so it's already over

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< the data...

 >>/56065/
What data did they get from this anyway. That Pog rides fast?

 >>/56070/
if they had more data they would've known pogi was have knee problems this year and they would've gone all out and attacked him ofcourse

tree paris-NICEs ina row for big matty? seems likely

 >>/56072/
against /elite/ and the Rat? We will see

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 >>/56067/
i am not seeing your numbers thoughbeit

 >>/56074/
yes, well, bert told me that lt1 is to be prioritised so it's not much to look at

 >>/56075/
what if it was a ruse and the truth lies in 62% of ftp for 2 hours and 30 minutes

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 >>/56075/
I did too hours of lt1 last weekend and now I am on top of me game
It's literally THAT easy

 >>/56077/
lt1 is love lt1 is life lt1 is the one true king

Tomorrow (today) finally a BIG mountain stage arrived to Costa Rica.
You can already smell the a-coming 7C - Economy - Hyundai raid.
Or will it be Team Colono Bikestation? They were beyond sulphurous at the Vuelta a Chiriqui, winning like 9 of 10 stages. Either way, Jexon LEDEZMA, the next big doping scandal, will have to show his A game.

20

20 what? the amount of pogi victories in the next season?

swissbert really wants you to click that link

enuff duvels to tip over even the muddiest belgian
it's over for me

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I dunno if I invited Bert to our Endchan Birthday stream, this year the site turns 10 years old
On December 15th at 8pm EST we are watching:
Tron
https://cytu.be/r/endcorner

This is actually on the 16th at 2:00 CET for us Euros. (Yes tomorrow night.)

 >>/56082/
It's some cross board spam. It appears yearly. I'm starting to suspect it's some preliminary probing before a serious spam campaign occurs.

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that price? 10 grand

 >>/56086/
Best looking bike of the peloton

That being said
> lightest frame ever
really doesn't sound like something positive to me. I'd rather take an extra 200g and some more strength

> uncompromising commitment to integrity blablabla
> let's just sign this extremely suspicious guy who is going nuclear in Asia lol

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DAMN it forgot the picture

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Speaking of suspicious guys, team Indonesia totally humiliated stacked team of Thailand down in Thailand at the South East Asian Games Time Trial
I have no idea how a mountain time trial works, it probably is a shit show, but your SIRIRONNACHAIs, your PIHOUNGYUs, your CHAIYASOMBATs and your CHAWCHIANGKWANGs were found wanting.

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 >>/56088/
I mean those bikes are made for pros doing mountain stages and let's be real when you chute in the downhill you're fucked anyway
the flat stages use the bulkier aero sleds

 >>/56092/
Of course, I meant as an amateur trying to buy a bike.

 >>/56093/
true
we are not meant to buy these bikes 
we are meant to buy a 4k giant TCR

 >>/56093/
 >>/56094/
no amateur should be buying crabon in the first place they are meant to buy frames that are REAL

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you could always buy a penisrello that looks like crumpled aluminum foil

 >>/56095/
Based aluminium enjoyer

 >>/56096/
ALUMINIUM*

 >>/56096/
every PINARELLO is a work of art

 >>/56099/
They incredibly ugly but since they ve staid consistent people got used to it

 >>/56100/
everybody loves Pinarello

 >>/56095/
holy basé

 >>/56094/
TCRchads, rise up

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Lmao, soon him and grug will only ride like 10 races per year and fuck off in the sun the rest of the year

 >>/56104/
Great, then we can have some interesting racing

 >>/56104/
extremely T I N

 >>/56106/
He does look slim

 >>/56106/
It's called ALUMINIUM

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Now it's my IKEA chair that started to squeak. I used few drops of my ParkTools™ peddal fixer lube on the wheels and it's much better. After 10 years of valiant service, it's still as good as new (it is NOT)

> raping while watching grug dab on some fools
Feels like christmas alright

Anyway, hommes Namur starting soon with seven times world campeon Mathieu VAN DER POEL marking his comeback

 >>/56111/
I like how endchan version is basically w*men free

Ok, but why am I from denmark?

 >>/56112/
cx femmes has been basically "hag wins lol" all season long
puck is kill
fem is total kill

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nice koms

 >>/56115/
That looks like a GRANADOS day to me!

namur is boomingn lots of people it seems
grug hype always delivers

any bets on how long it'll take for him to get from the 3rd line to the front
I'm thinking 4 minutes

 >>/56109/
All the ball bearings fell out of my computer chair. It barely rolls any more. 

I'm going to paypig my way into one of those Herman Miller chairs

 >>/56118/
a bit more that climb is long

 >>/56118/
First hill

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This bert has seen some serious shit

 >>/56122/
the burden of knowledge

Panamerican Championships yields a real UCI jersey then?

was around 6 minutes to hit the front group, probably faster if that american didn't chute comicale

Nys jr just isn't it

is grug washed?
2*ut would already have scored some big watts

CHUTE GRUG

CHUTE COMICALE GRUG

lol one cobbled section and he's back

they just doubled PADUN

> lapped after one third of race

 >>/56104/
but mur de huy and unpredictamstel are fun races. I guess it's good for the team to leave some breadcrumbs for the other guys instead of slaving for pogi

 >>/56133/
mcnulty will win amstel
don't know who could win fleche from the others, maybe christen or del boro

VAXXED

lapped dead guy on the course

gross chute comicale

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SMAAAAAAAAAAAASH

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GRUG THERMONUCLEAIRE
NEJS GOES ALONG

slow pit stop from grug

that chrome canyon is kinda nice