/bert/ - ciclismo

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Where did the previous thread go?
Did suissebert nuke a thread instead of deleting one post?

 >>/82454/
No. The site is under attack and I acted hastily.

#TDR2026 🇨🇭 | Stage 1

⛰️ OVRONNAZ (8.75 km, 9.95%, 871 m)

🇸🇮 Tadej Pogačar

• 28:26
• 6.41 w/kg (est. "60kg" standard)
• 1838 m/h VAM
• 18.46 km/h

Mid gas for Tadej
not mid gas for bert

so THALMANN was my one good pick, great

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 >>/82455/
Battlestations!

Top Ganna should get the road race NC at some point soon

God I'm already tired of SEIXAS in French media. And I thought remco hype was bad

Drake BECKHAM done a pas normal down in Tyrone
let's see if the young stud can hold onto VARGAS in the passos

 >>/82462/
> Lipowitz qui a pris 2:30 dans les dents par Seixas au Pays Basque, bascule avec Pogacar sur le col le plus difficile de la semaine en Romandie.

> Je dis ça, je dis rien.
😂👌

 >>/82455/
By whom?

Schmid abandon

 >>/82466/
Good

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 >>/82466/

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 >>/82464/
Squeakers will only get more unhinged as the time goes on

Van Rysel with another victory, this team is DOPED this year

 >>/82469/
the amount of french people proclaiming seixas is clean is concerning.

 >>/82470/
wow some cx fraud is 2nd 
not a good look for roadies

plapp lacheeing

 >>/82473/
What? Why I am I even still picking these teams, it's pointless.

 >>/82471/
He is as clean as it gets

 >>/82474/
the jayco boys look like they ate bad fish, that hellemose dude looks like he's about to shit himself

Haquin pickers we feasting today

Sigma Sports Cafe Ride with the stoner foid 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vi0RYGUTyMU

> combativity sprint
wtf

I guess I am giving it one more shot, if half of my important drivers DNF or collapse inexplicably again in Frankfurt, Giro, this will be it for goombling and caring about it.
Not saying I am not playing again after that but you can't be having bad luck for a month, with two (2) cat tree (3) exceptions.

 >>/82480/
this one was particularly rough to choose for, I am doing way worse than you, c'est la vie

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I just got home. for the record. I didn't delete the old thread. I guess I was bullied by the endchan AI bot again.

 >>/82480/
It's your own fault Bert. You were too smug and that gets punished harshly

 >>/82480/
there is only one word for this post
kwab

plapp isn't even dropped, he's dangling at the back with his team for some reason

 >>/82481/
But it has been a month, I do all the boring picks, they die, I try to be clever, they die, the ones that are supposed to suck don't suck, like Lenny who has been ill a few days ago.
 >>/82483/
I did repent for a long time now.
 >>/82484/
That smug means you're never seeing that gold star kek, especially if I run out of fugs to give about even the /CYC/ GC shits.

> fraudulent Italian NC finally doing something noteworthy 
that took ages

 >>/82486/
it's a fun little supplement to watching the races my Bert, don't stress it

 >>/82488/
Get a load of this guy, he doesn't watch ciclismo through the prism of past, present and future goombling decishins.

 >>/82486/
I play for fun, not for the gold star
you care too much bert
last year I had 4 DNF's in the vuelta, it's still just a game

lipo interview before the start:
> I'm feeling a bit K.O.

I'm sure this gap will disappear in an instant, but they really are leaving it late

 >>/82492/
soderbeast won't be easy to catch

 >>/82490/
Bertman, don't give me that shit about playing "just for fun", I've been here long enough to see how it looks when you're rolling into it.
I care just enough for a stupid fake credits game, now I have seen my mistake, maybe a sign from heavens.

Somberquest goes solo

 >>/82495/
knew I should have taken him

Söderqvist is quite strong, I don't know...

> 10th Grande Prémio Anicolor
some 3 stage volta this international workers day weekend with your sulfurous teams happening

Oh never mind that climb is much longer than I thought

 >>/82494/
don't project on me, I play for fun
I even play the female races and I play on sporza too lmao
I enjoy it, it adds a factor to care about minor riders and I enjoy the puzzles
ofcourse it's not fun if you're doing bad but there's a billion races, we're not even halfway through the superclassico

SPLIT IN PEDALTON

Sunderqist is a machine

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ROGLIC slaving for POGACAR

godoped closing the gap himself

 >>/82486/
> Lenny who has been ill a few days ago
Knowers knew this was just an excuse and the real reason was that he took too much dope and would have still glowed on the day of LBL.
But on a serious note, did they even say he was sick? Because I don't remember it.

Godon ded?

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Plapp on the front even so that Bert meltdown was for nothing

ROGLIC did a 20 sec pull and retired into grupeto

cepeda baiting pogi

lol, of course VPP is there today

 >>/82500/
I'm sorry but this is some smol man female cop out from a guy who can't help himself from overreacting to every other happening on the parcours and telling other people all the time to calm down when he himself needs to calm down.
I know, I can't tell a joke or performative bertsmanship, I'm autistic, haha.

the buckbroken velogambler kneels before the attentionpaying purist chad

QUINTANA AT THE FRONT
RED ALERT

 >>/82505/
I think I have heard that from my commentators, it was why he was pulled from LBL.

Wow great attaque from Lipobitch. If that even was one I can't tell

LANDAESQUE attaque from lipofraud

Tudor guy attacking from position 30 was incredible.

 >>/82511/
but the posts are performative, like bertacek
what else am I supposed to post during the race

I don't know if Within can beat Pog though

 >>/82506/
Still there

Oh alright whatever

 >>/82486/
 >>/82505/
Dredged up the Bahrain press release:
> From our side, we decided not to race Lenny Martinez at Liège – Bastogne – Liège to allow him to recover fully, as Romandie is one of his main targets. He will share leadership with Antonio Tiberi, and we expect a strong performance from both.
No mention of illness.

HEIL POGACAR

lmao

lmao, ez gg

LAME

Kek he just wanted to have fun in a sprint instead of dropping those frauds

at least godon got the prologue

him coming to this race in classics shape is really just playing with his food

> quintaner 10th in a sprint

Roglic?

Oh what the FUCK VPP 5th? This is some BULLSHIT man

Godon barely beat memco and now Pogi beats Godon
it all makes sense, like rock paper scissors

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Nairoman #10

gaudu lmao

 >>/82518/
When I see more all caps, cringy wordplay, frogposting then I will believe that all those way too soon "he gone/he won't make it/he can't be good because reason" is playful performance, otherwise control group is just normalposting like on cyclingnews or watching in a bar over a beer.
 >>/82522/
Surely this psyops to hide his real illness.

> Gaudu

 >>/82535/
:)

And how the FUCK is that Witśen so good, especially yesterday.

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 >>/82531/
 >>/82539/

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roidlic bros what happened (posted with reaction image)

> 40 years draught because we're a clean nation
> too talent comes and give us hope
> everybody act like he's doped
Really we're not being rewarded for carrying this sport for so long

170km ride tomorrow for worker's day
someone pray for me

 >>/82544/
I pray you will skore some mit fotos

 >>/82545/
might post, I will be going to the primal source of duvels

So this is 66kg pogi. I reckon he'd still win the tour at that weight. How much more can he add before he loses to skelly Jonas?

Oh boi, that spam in the catalog lol. I'm kinda busy right now. I hope bossmann can take care of it, playing janitor on the phone sucks.

> this is fine

thanks I guess, this time without deleting this thread.

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> the bertaček special
I bonked massively, and the BB in me grabbel bike suddenly makes some weird clicking noise on every full rotation

 >>/82556/
time to p*rchase some new wheels and shoes innit

 >>/82556/
The fuck is that road around 40k? Straight rampa that you bombed down and immediately climbed up again?

 >>/82558/
> Straight rampa that you bombed down and immediately climbed up again?
yes, and thats where the bonking happened

 >>/82556/
Aren't you going too hard? All your rides are tempo+ it seems

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 >>/82560/
tempo+ is where the fun is at, and cycling for me is only about fun. don't care if its inefficient for training or whatever

 >>/82542/
 >>/82532/
 >>/82508/

 >>/82556/
I somehow dehydrated twice this week on sub 2h rides 
also that is obviously the ONLY correct mindset to have (non debatable)  >>/82561/

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 >>/82556/
> bonking on 60 km ride
VERY based

 >>/82561/
holy based

 >>/82561/
damn straight

 >>/82561/
Hehe, fair enough. Take it cool on the descent I can see the collector looming over you though

 >>/82567/
today was actually the sketchiest ride in a long time. had some -25% to -30% descents on pretty shitty gravel, down Hadersfeld, on 40mm tyres. but alas, the collector has to wait

This motor was promised to him 3000 years ago and now it behaves like THIS?!
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/hUMV6rIC56w

 >>/82569/
lmao

 >>/82569/
ouch

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 >>/82569/
cursed bike

 >>/82571/
Well it better ouch if he is going to chutzpah on an eletric moter.

 >>/82573/
the bike just saw some palestenian kid in the weeds

 >>/82552/
he'd get smoked in current form by vingo desu

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Payupiggud for a smartwatch.
That amazon Balance 2 XT I have mentioned.
It was a sale, I am innocent.

 >>/82576/
its alright we all pigged bigger sins

 >>/82575/
2bqh I think he's hiding how strong he is uphill because he doesn't need to drop anyone right now with how good his sprint is; he doesn't care if he wins Romandie and Suisse on bonis

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> paypiging
I am still thinken of that power2max paypig thing
Perhaps it would be a good time to buy new chainrings since these probably have some 50k on them

 >>/82579/
the favero RS are red though
red is faster

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 >>/82580/

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 >>/82581/
yea
I know

> 380€ for PM + 100€ for new rings
It's not that much and would extend the life of me bike for couple of years (hopefully)
Will think about it

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based motopacing

 >>/82583/
just check a nearby dumbster for someone's discarded components

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 >>/82585/
> the discarded components I told you about

Watching highlights of Romandie 2019
What a comfy race that was, I don't remember it at all
> prime ROGLIC
> fraud COSTA
> slippy THOMAS
> GAUDU
> BETANCUR, SPILAK, ZAKARIN and FRANK of all places
> GROSS SHARTS on Bora

ROGLIC almost won 5 stages, Kirby says "ski jumper" every 30 seconds
We have to go back

 >>/82587/
ah yes, the slippy G incident. what year was that?

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 >>/82588/
2021

 >>/82587/
plus it was the last year the sport was still /clean/ as well

 >>/82584/
> the camera is just zoomed in bro

LOKEY Kai is NOT NORMALE

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 >>/82561/

 >>/82568/
I really need to bring my gravel bike to vienna at some point.

 >>/82595/
how tall are you? could borrow you mine for a ride or two

 >>/82596/
1m77

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 >>/82597/
I'm 181 with the 52s (colnago size is different then regular size), it could fit you

 >>/82598/
Could work, thanks. This time I'm only here for a short time, but I'll keep it in mind.

so many races today comrades

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 >>/82601/
Now that's a proper climb

Tismbert with full punchy sprinter setup, Bertman with 50-50, Optaktman, Bertele full of punchy sprinters as well.
I am going full of punchy hillhoppers.

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26 	Tobias Lund Andresen
24 	Corbin Strong
17 	Axel Laurance
16 	Thomas Pidcock
13 	Laurence Pithie
13 	Tibor Del Grosso
11 	Magnus Cort
10 	Emilien Jeannière
6 	Emiel Verstrynge
5 	ALEX ARANBURU
5 	Ben Turner
4 	Paul Lapeira
4 	Ion Izagirre
4 	Alex Baudin
3 	Ben Tulett
3 	Søren Kragh Andersen
3 	Tim Wellens
3 	Matyáš Kopecký
3 	Jon Barrenetxea
2 	Pello Bilbao
2 	Fabio Christen
2 	Quinten Hermans
2 	Aurélien Paret-Peintre
2 	Samuel Watson
1 	FREDRIK DVERSNES LAVIK
1 	Alberto Dainese
1 	Vincenzo Albanese
1 	Michael Valgren
1 	Maikel Zijlaard
1 	Danny Van Poppel
1 	Rune Herregodts
1 	Loe Van Belle
1 	TOM VAN ASBROECK
1 	Anders Foldager

> 6==

2 Tobias Lund Andresen Corbin Strong Axel Laurance Thomas Pidcock Magnus Cort Emiel Verstrynge
> Burger Bert`s Bunch
> frfr on god


2 Tobias Lund Andresen Corbin Strong Axel Laurance Laurence Pithie Tibor Del Grosso Ben Turner
> /pinot/
> Richie Porte Memorial Team

we live in Vorarlberg
https://youtube.com/watch?v=KcrGhPBSrB0

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visma superstar Patryk GOSZCZURNY participating as well

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consider this: Colin STÜSSI

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visma dev team has a bertaczek, who chuted earlier in the race and dropped all his protein bars

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tactical chute by visma

 >>/82604/
FUCK forgot to take out ARANBURU

 >>/82610/
Wait he's not there? I just randomly switched him out this morning, very lucky

 >>/82604/
Last time I was first in this ranking I ended up with a pretty average result, let's see how it ends up this time.

 >>/82612/
that's usually how it goes and it makes sense

 >>/82613/
I vaguely remember Kurwabert posting the statistics and this ranking being positively correlated with points scored.

My eyes
https://x.com/GreenEDGEteam/status/2050126672112804180

suffering in Türkyiv 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=n3dH33yBjKM

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munton at the back of the pedalton

 >>/82617/
finally showing some decency

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seeing the french pro tour division of ineos riding on Cube bikes, I wonder why pignig post.nl isn't riding on them instead.

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and berts were complaining about suisse roads the other day

kek, audio randomly changed from the English to the Türkish commentators

balderstone has to slave for berwick

Who's this Thick dude about to win in turkeyland

Vamos Sosa

Tight in turquie

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grande christian made it all the way to the finish

> Jose BEAN and the sniffing troon
This is hell

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I think that gap is big enough for berwick. sosa loses too much time

Hahaha Jegod screws him

Kek jegat just cucked him out of boni

Berwick might be dead

 >>/82628/
Yeah I just tuned in and that was really not fucking good. At least I only had to endure 1 minute or something

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someone move berwick away from the finish line

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ayy kek the turkish commentators shouting in English "GET UP SEB"

 >>/82634/
One of my favorite tropes is riders completely collapsing at the finish

Why has Pogi never done this

 >>/82632/
What a dramaqueen

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20k to go in Vorarlberg

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the fuck, visma dev team only consisting of slavs

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Berwick was 13 seconds behind sosa before the stage

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you know where to find me, berts

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> zag into good form climbers
> baudin already ded
The ride never ends.

 >>/82640/
So he would have lost even without Jegod. By 1 second

 >>/82641/
Based

 >>/82641/
Not at the coiffeur, that's for sure

 >>/82641/
is this one of those hipster matcha cafes? it's pretty difficult getting into a classic Viennese Kaffeehaus in in the innercity, as they are packed with tourists.

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I guess the ber wick did get some bonüs seconds.

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 >>/82645/
I am still convinced the whole every-bert-is-bald thing is just a meme

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colin stüssi vs visma

 >>/82648/
i've got a lushious head of hair (i have also not ridden a bike in a long time)

 >>/82646/
yes, but there are still enough classic Kaffehäuser without the tourists like Café Jelinek or Sperl

 >>/82651/
last time I was in Wien I went to one outside the inner city that mostly had old ladies in it and your typical Wiener Grantler service. ate breakfast for 10€, which is half the price these days you pay for shitty hotel breakfast.

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last lap in Vorarlberg

 >>/82652/
> hat mostly had old ladies in it and your typical Wiener Grantler service. ate breakfast for 10€
sounds like classic Kaffeehaus, comfy af

 >>/82652/
 >>/82651/
You guys need to embrace the ultra lightly roasted coffee

Damnit Eurosport is showing some mountainbike garbage. I'll watch SECRET NAZI BASES on National Geographic then, that sounds like a quality show

Austrians still calling it jumbo-visma lol

Damnit I was hoping for aliens or nazi zombies but this is also nonsense but just boring and everything gets repeated every minute for American viewers

Solution Tech NIPPO Rali (PRT) vs Speegoshczurny

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mapeiesque

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oops, that was the wrong pic
team vorarlberg humbled

 >>/82656/
There were these series back in the day, Battlefield or something, that was the shit, could inform, could make you watch completely glued, could lull you to sleep.

Everyone is riding today but us.
Bertman, Brtek, Bernds, Bertele is racing, probably some ameriberts are on a ride as well.
But I was washing me bike and at the gym, and have to start on that ratatat now so that counts.

 >>/82663/
Yeah that was comfy but now it is all just garbage with "experts" speculating about all sorts of nonsense, add some random images of nazis and have the narrator repeat everything

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 >>/82664/
I had an early shift for once and I am on the couch completely gone and dead. Getting up at 4 sucks ASS

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 >>/82665/
> the narrator repeat everything
- And they made me furious!
> John, after their recent actions, was annoyed.
 >>/82666/
My neighbors dog is good at waking them up early. Maybe you should get a dog.

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> timke in tete
what were they thinking?

 >>/82667/
I don't like dogs

 >>/82668/
Oh something happened? Damnit I don't have Verstrynge for once

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 >>/82664/
I will ride tomorrow, I'm enjoying a restday.

Spitze des Rennes means head of the race

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Belgians on the move

 >>/82664/
Wish I could ride but I'm still sick

 >>/82673/
Great, doped Wellens on the front so we don't have to watch this. Good thing we live in Romandie

our German Bernds have anything to say about the German cyclassics season with Eschborn-Frankfurt, Rund um Köln, Münsterland Giro, Cyclassics and Lidl Tour?

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we live in Suisse indeed

why am I so STUPID, why didn't I take Verstringy

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anyone interested in a tampermonke userscript to enhance the pcs profile with km left and vertical bars?

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godon taking a shit

more benis shown in Romandie

 >>/82675/
my dad stream is showing snooker or something instead

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former Danish champion spotted

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fdj in the break like some contishitter team

beppe conti claiming on 4chan that seixas will join UAE

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elephant category

 >>/82685/
Macaron will intervene

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duality of West Germany

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 >>/82685/
not as long as this tranny lover has a word to say

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screenception

 >>/82687/
 >>/82689/
He'll be gone by then

 >>/82691/
surely all of France would rebel

CHUTE

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chute in testa

alright I'm here did WELLENS Tim win yet?

 >>/82695/
Basically yeah

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nescafe factory

Why does Wellens either do this or nothing

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lachee

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horse category

 >>/82698/
Blood transfusion schedule

@hessischerRundfunkARD
> Richtlinien
> Liebe Community, bitte begegnet einander mit Respekt❤️ Bleibt höflich und beim Thema🙂
< 1 🚫Kein Spamming, Trolling, Bashing, Hating, Fragen gerne❗
< 2 🚫Kein Rassismus, Verschwörungen & Falschinformationen❗
< 3 Beiträge, die unsere Netiquette verletzen, werden gelöscht🗑
OKAY THEN, shan't comment in this chat under these circumstances!

he's not making it

I thought Baudin was dropped like 3 hours ago?

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German NC in Spitze

 >>/82705/
He got better

 >>/82702/
so claiming that rider X is doped wouldn't be allowed according to their netiquette?

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perro

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jens busy today and won't annoy you with his commentary

 >>/82708/
yeah
last time I checked one of these public streams it was a great time with lots of shitposting both from obvious jesters and genuine boomers who posted shit like > curious how germany and france haven't had competitive riders in the tour the past 20 years huh maybe we're too honest huh I think pog may be doping 
I wonder how these buckos take the emergence of seixas since then

Good group to stay away. But potentially many teams to chase too. Bora, Uno-X, NSN, Decathlon, Ineos...

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pidkek in tete

I've got five in, yeah woohoo arright, I'd prefer a minute torty not torty seconds flat.

I have nobody. It's over

hey Valgren nice

 >>/82714/
You see? The Velogods giveth and the Velogods taketh away

 >>/82717/
How it was going in April I am fully expecting them to get caught.

Izagirre wins

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the next Seixas wins Bretagne Tour

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the water isn't still cold as fuck?

 >>/82721/
heated

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I love those big ass German trein stations

 >>/82723/
autismbert is coooming in his pants rn

 >>/82723/
Until
> 2 Stunden Verspätung

I was about to ask a silly question on which Frankfurt is it but since it's size and size of that Hauptbanhof this is not the one on Oder nor any other smaller one.

all streams are fucked, great

So they are riding for Kench. If this asshole wins and Patjebert got this guy for free I am quitting forever

Oh yeah, the city.

 >>/82726/
frankfurt am main, proper ghetto that is

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 >>/82728/
Please stop copying my cope.

the german stream on youtube if all else fails https://www.youtube.com/live/0fK-OlE8Er0?si=toN7htgFnjeU-AFa

 >>/82731/
I am losing a billion points in every race today, it is my right to seethe

 >>/82726/
nope, this isn't Słubice.

Henri-François Renard-Haquin LACHEE

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let me jinx it. they will make it.

Kench immediately lachee. Great tactics here by Team FDJ

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 >>/82736/

 >>/82728/
and hes gone, FDJ worked all day for nothing

I don't think they'll make it.

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borabros pulling hard

REEEEE they better not get caught

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rest of the pedalton isn't that big

DEVASTATING Lipowitz attaque incoming