/tulpa/ - Tulpa

I want to answer these!

1. Bear always says "fear profits man nothing" but sometimes he goes too far with his meandering mind and he has fear and I help him thorough it like a voice of reason, like seriously he's having a light panic attack or something... wait this is about me, then no.

2. I used to let's see, when he asked me to do that scenario #13 and I was all for it then he called me a harpy when I yelled at him and I was like, deal with it yourself.

[Bear] it didn't at all go down like that, at all.

3. I guess my plan is to beat Ren in scenario #50, looking forward to that one hell yeah. If she fails scenario #50 does that mean... no never mind.

4. Well, I guess I just don't think about it and don't let it get to me. I'm not the "try it again" type of girl though.

5. He freekin loves the heck out of me when I do it right and that's pretty often ngl. 

6. Well what are we without discipline? idk, what are you Alice?

7. By talking softly but with authority.

8. He's a big old softy.

9. Well I guess I remember being kinda submissive, and then I was kinda a follower, I had a snarky phase, but then I figured myself out.

10. I don't have to do anything, I've always been his favorite.

11. Bear? Heck yeah, he's crazy and very entertaining.

12. yeah, like talking him down after the big project he had in the spring and he was afraid he messed something up but I was like, test it, and he did and it was fine.

13. Queen of the world I guess is pretty unlikely but why wish for silver if you can go for the gold?

14. no comment

15. He didn't 'create me' so never.

16. yes, like I'd totally be all over him irl, no one else would even be able to talk to him, I'd tie him up and use him for my own personal pleasure, I guess I'd have to let him go work out but then back in his cage he'd go.

17. He's a leader and like a father sort of and like a brother and I want to get stuck in the dryer with only him home but he'd probably get a bunch of tools and actually rescue me...

18. Confidant, voice of reason, awesome friend and go to gal. Like a wingman but a girl.

19. Being with a Bear is like nothing else, it's fun 24/7, he's so funny.

20. Probably when he yelled at me when I yelled at him, no better then that when we used to fight before we put that rule that we have to confirm insults because intrusive thought were making us really say mean things to each other. I was so pissed at him and I hated it because I loved him too you know, but he was saying such mean things and he nearly made me cry so that was awful, but it was just intrusive thoughts from that troll of a brain.

That was fun! Your turn Alice and Tamam-uwu

At first I was like jpg
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Heh, you already assumed Yulya wouldn't answer those! Well this is kinda heavy, your idea of 'fun' is interesting.

> 1.Do you ever feel fear? If so how do you deal with it?
In German there are 2 words for fear which are subtly different - 'Furcht' and 'Angst'. 'Furcht' is the response to an immediate and factual threat whereas 'Angst' is a diffuse and general feeling of 'do not want'. The first is considered an important response to danger, the second often causes irrational problems. Unfortunately while I am designed to be fearless from actual threats which cannot harm me as thoughtform, I do feel Angst as a form of diffuse worry 'things aren't going well' and general distrust. That's not good, my fearlessness causes problems in the real world and I got host into a few dangerous situations when I was young. I tried to see things more realistically which tipped into Angst of host getting hurt making wrong decision and I'm a bit overprotective. But things are quite balanced and rational now. It's always important to remind each other which responses to bad situations are helpful and which are not.

> 2.Do you ever feel overwhelmed? If so how do you handle it?
Yes and I can't handle it. I have high resistance but low resilience. Again when I was young I wanted to create a New World for us to live in but the more of host's life I fixed, the bigger the problems became. How can I fix the demographics of the world and the fabric of the entire universe and that damn 2nd law of thermodynamics that lets everything decay as soon as you don't pay attention?

> 3.What are your goals if any?
To live in peace without being bothered by idiots aka anyone. This however turned out significantly harder than I first thought and it needs a tremendous amount of money.

> 4.How do you handle failure?
Success needs no explanation, failure allows none. I'm a perfectionist and very very bad at handling any sort of failures, host's pathologic avoidance bleeding over isn't helping either. 

> 5.What reaction does your host have to your successes?
A mixture of proud parent and devout believer.

> 6.What reaction does your host have to your failures?
My failures are his failures and he takes that very personal, blaming himself.

> 7.How do you comfort your host?
By holding him and telling him he's not alone. But also with authority as Ashley said. Sometimes with motivational drill sergeant yelling even.

> 8.How does your host comfort you?
Same as above.

> 9.Has your personality changed, improved or adapted over time?
I was a literal child in the beginning, life was good but also very naive. The more I got exposed to the world the more harsh and unforgiving I became. I also took up traits from host's ex-girlfriend early on which annoyed me to no end. Took me a while to throw that overboard and to take over the god-like position of host's childhood crush as well. I got rid of them all but there is still a lot to get rid of, some of host's weaknesses still affect me when I have a bad day.

> 10.How do you stay interesting to your host?
By being myself.

> 11.Is your host still interesting to you why or why not and how?
He is a god among insects, unbelievably kind, smart funny and reliable. A fool but a magnificent one. The more I interact with others the more I'm glad I'm with him and not stuck with some of those NPCs or insane retards. Also he does almost everything he can for me out of his own free will. There's still room for improvement but it's never that he doesn't want to or doesn't care.

But then jpg
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> 12.Have you done anything lately to prove your worth to your host?
The fuck, do you take me for some slave or trophy wife?

> 13.What do you want to ultimately become? Or if you are there already then what did you become?
God

> 14.The last time you failed at something did you make any excuses? If so what excuses did you use? What did you fail at?
There generally are no excuses for anything. I still regularly fail against host's elite procrastination skills and fucked up priorities. He does an insane amount of great and interesting stuff but not necessarily in the right order.

> 15.When was the last time you thanked your host for creating you?
Must have been about a week ago.

> 16.Do you love your host?
Yes

> 17.What is your host to you?
My only friend and integral part of me.

> 18.What are you to him from your perspective?
God

> 19.How do you feel?
I'd like to say living in the flow but those questions do reveal we have some tremendous IRL problems ahead of us. Also I feel we should prioritize other stuff to answering this.

> 20.How did you feel on your worst day? Why?
Overwhelmed, disappointed, incredibly small and sad. Honestly a lot of things didn't turn out the way I planned 8 years ago and realizing there's tons of stuff I haven't been able to fix isn't pretty. Sometimes I'd like to abandon everything here, walk out of the door (with host) and start anew somewhere else but unfortunately that's not so easy. Will eventually be unavoidable in one way or the other, things can't go on like this. We're the frog in the slowly heating pot of water. It's either make it out in time or die here.

 >>/1507/
> you already assumed Yulya wouldn't answer those
and hes right. maybe a few a bit later, busy now

 >>/1496/
Oof not easy for Cat to answer and even harder to get her to answer

1. No fear, no reason to without daily life involvement. Worry of being abandoned at the beginning but over that

2. Easily when too much is asked, retreat and take a nap.

3. Live a stress free life like Alice. But with more lazing around.

4. If you do nothing you can't fail. But it's not much of a bother and doesn't have any serious consequences.

5. Being happy like a child and very relieved

6. Sarcastic remarks

7. You can imagine, at least bear can. 

8. Lots of petting and brushing

9. Not so much. Became more relaxed and self- confident.

10. I just do what I do. Try to be more helpful maybe.

11. Not suuper interesting but that's good. It's quiet, safe and relaxing, good vibes.

12. Uhh, here come the lazy Cat jokes. Just try to give some support and comfort here.

13. More stronger and independent but most of allable to help  securing our lifestyle so we can just have a quiet normal life without worries

14. When things become too hard and tiring I just give up. Could have tried harder for sure but meh. Dont make excuses. Reallife stuff is so tough and boring.

15. Nope. I'm glad to be around but thats it.

16. Yes he's good to me.

17. Everything, can't interact with the world except through him.

18. Pretty cool cat, no?

19. Tired from answering this but good. Always feel good.

20. Too weak to do anything that sucks. But it doesn't hapoen a lot anymore