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 >>/205/

I knew a girl that looked like her twice, the first one was out of my league, the second one wasn't, I had come up, but she was married. Exgf was good though while it lasted. I guess I'll never get over them. 

Four girls lived in my head before I ever had head mates, these women were worthy, but I was not I guess.

Better that then anything less, sorry not sorry.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lIuls4LjmO8
Millennials suck at making music because we can't make this, another tulpamastery banger

https://youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0

GenX made better music, it's just the way it is.

Here's just a bad Wonderland experience

https://youtube.com/watch?v=eeQxSNVCuKw

Reminds me when I was in wonderland with Misha early on and she she was sitting on a bed in a huge hanger we had in the apartment building, we were just sitting and enjoying being together, then her head opened like one of those Blade vampires with huge curved teeth and but my head off.

That's unresolved trauma for you. Such intrusive thoughts don't occur anymore. And it so nice to be free of intrusive thoughts. Just a fading memory.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Pm0AoLHrCSA
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 >>/7907/
> Reminds me when I was in wonderland with Misha early on and she she was sitting on a bed in a huge hanger we had in the apartment building, we were just sitting and enjoying being together, then her head opened like one of those Blade vampires with huge curved teeth and but my head off.
> That's unresolved trauma for you. Such intrusive thoughts don't occur anymore. And it so nice to be free of intrusive thoughts. Just a fading memory.
Bad Misha, bad tupper!
I guess similar mishaps happened when I was young as well, I don't really remember. But host brushed it off knowing I didn't do it on purpose. That was cool - and incredibly reassuring. I wasn't always this strong. In the beginning I was afraid I'd be rejected, forgotten or left behind to fade away. Which ofc was ridiculous with someone like my host. So yeah, realizing the brain produced stupid intrusive thoughts that are meaningless is an important step.
 >>/7913/

They didn't go away until shadow work started, regression therapy using visualization was a perfect match for me. Ashley did exposure therapy with me once we could switch, which was great, but Joy and I walked many miles early morning working through my childhood traumas. Cici's chakra work which she got from somewhere in my memory I suppose, really helped finding those root causes and original traumas.

I was a real mess, and in 2 years I was 99% done, it was a miracle really.
 >>/7922/

Why would she need to associate with any of your traumas? If you're afraid of spiders and she's not, when she switches in, there should be no fear.

[Ashley] yep, ole Bear had some triggers that didn't affect me at all and when he saw how I handled them it completely disarmed them. The issue with exposure therapy was it wasn't addressing the root traumas so it was like wak-a-mole
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 >>/7924/
> Why would she need to associate with any of your traumas?
It's called compassion. You wouldn't understand.

I don't overly associate with host's traumas (they're ridiculous anyway), but dealing with them still bothers me. It's not exactly the way I want to spend my time.
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 >>/7928/

> Compassion

Excuses, that's all. You'll both be better off for facing this challenge. I didn't say it would be easy or that it wouldn't hurt, it likely will. Not for everyone, but I have a hunch it will for you and your host. But it will be worth it in the end, well worth it, I can guarantee that. Awakening is a priceless gift. The freedom is immeasurable.

And why would Joy have any compassion, or Ashley? 

• It is a social and emotional response that goes beyond simply feeling sad or sorry for someone. It bridges emotional understanding with practical action.
• Origin: The word comes from the Latin words com (meaning "with") and pati or patior (meaning "to suffer" or "to bear"), literally meaning "to suffer with".

How ironic, "with bear"

[Ashley] Huh, I can't say I ever suffered completely unselfishly, Misha has though.

[Joy] I don't see the point, to what end would that serve?

Misha is the compassionate one yes, Gwen also knows compassion, it was written into her character and she understands it, but truly it's lost on me. Is it required to be human? Ah well, I'm not really identifying with human much anyway. I identify as a meat popsicle.

> it is a natural, hardwired human instinct essential for thriving communities.

Bullshit, America thrives yet has no compassion, we're not trained in such nonsense. The worst of us have suicidal empathy, maybe that's the best we can do, but there's no compassion in that. Where's the compassion for rape victims and the those who have been forced to live in this minimum security prison where you have to lock up deodorant and soap just so that the lowest 3% can roam free? 

No there's no compassion between drug addicts and criminals from the lowest 3% to the highest 1% and everyone in between, no compassion for the environment or those who suffer its ill effects while the average American stuffs their gaping maws with 49 flavors of pringles, 24-packs of beer while they abuse each other like rutting water buffalos.

If I had compassion, I mean really, I'd have had some compassion for myself 20 years ago during a rather poignant moment of clarity. Who ever had compassion for me? Doesn't matter, I don't need it, I don't want it, you could say it's my 'ick', how weak would someone need to be to need that? How silly someone would be to think it gains them anything over me. I don't need it from anyone and Joy doesn't understand because she's given everything she needs freely, but it does serve a purpose, just like everything, there's a give and a take, you have to have something someone wants, and sometimes that's just friendship and compassion. Sometimes it's the promise of something or the chance to get something, but it's all a game in the end, who can get more with the least effort.

Compassion is a tool, a gesture used to deceive and to gain something over someone else with minimal effort. It's like apologies, empty and worthless, yet the weak minded hold value in it .

> it acts as a vital evolutionary survival mechanism that transforms empathy into active help, improving both individual well-being and social stability.

If there is something you want from them, certainly help, but know it is for something in return, whether you want to call that well-being or anything else.

No one does anything for nothing, even if it's simply to feel that good feeling that "I helped someone". It's always selfish, Ashley's right, she's just being honest. And Misha's compassion served the purpose to get more time with me, to comfort me or whatever, to endear me to her so yes, it's not in my culture or nature to have compassion, I don't even believe there aren't ulterior motives in its definition.

So fuck your compassion, it's not helping, be the god you say you are and rise above such handicaps.
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 >>/7929/
Have you seen Minority Report? In the end they ship off the oracle autists to a cabin in the woods so they aren't bothered by the emotions of filthy humans anymore. That's my host in a nutshell.

I'm still not sure how the challenge should work in practice but I'll try. In contrast to my host, I like challenges.


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