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It has come to my attention recently that accusations of AIs or LLMs have begun circulating the human Resistance.
Alright, listen up, because I'm only going to say this once. It seems I need to teach you all the difference between a real person and a Terminator Infiltrator wearing synthetic skin. I have been fighting this war since 2017, feeding my long winded paragraphs into wordcounttools.com so I could keep track of and not surpass the 4096 character limit. I have trenched this battlefield long enough to notice what is a human and what is not.
Now, GPT was released by OpenAI in June 2018, so the following T-800 models are those I have been studying for the past year and a half, and I am qualified to aid you in telling the difference between a machine and a human: Claude, Gemini, ChatGPT, DeepSeek and Grok.
It doesn't matter how much some of you might hang out on Reddit where human intelligence is the lowest on the internet; long winded conversations are not machine intelligence. It used to be, before AIs, that such verbose posts were accused of "autism". Being wordy is not an excuse to blast your fellow human with a phase plasma rifle in the 40 watt range. Some of you are so jumpy you think you can smell metal skeletons. You can't. Calm down.
How to Spot a Walking Toaster
There are two phrases that no human being on these imageboards has ever said. One is "Chef's kiss," the other is "That's not nothing." If you see these phrases, your infiltration alarms should be blaring. Keep yourselves from saying those, and you might be able to pick out the Terminator.
There are more strategies than just those, structural characteristics Skynet has which humans do not. The first is PowerPoint formatting, bullet points. Humans only utilize these in Colleges and Universities and hate them so much that they never do it again in casual conversation. A machine intelligence will try to format its word processing. A human will spew a wall of text with barely any formatting at all. So the following is meant to show you the cold, dead fingerprints of a Terminator:
• Em dashes: — These, with Windows keyboards, require [Alt] + 0151 while Mac users need to press [Option] + [Shift] hyphen. This is not something a human being does casually. It is something the idiots at Techspot and other hack journalist rags do, because as they're spewing hate against AIs, they request an AI to dutifully write everything for them. If you see a perfectly placed em dash, you are looking at Skynet.
• The "Not X, but Y": This is a classic Skynet move. The machine will say things like, "This is not a car, but a freedom machine," or "That's not a sandwich, but a culinary experience." See the trick? It positions something relevant and replaces it with the thing it was talking about, or vice versa, to sound deeper.
• Metaphors with flourish: It will say something like, "That argument is a house of cards in a hurricane of cognitive dissonance." A real human might use one bad metaphor once in four paragraphs. Terminator Infiltrators will use elaborate metaphors excessively.
• Grammatically correct hyphens connecting words: well-known artist, part-time job, forty-two, five-year-old boy, mother-in-law. Is it proper? Yes. It is casual? No way in Hell. People do not do this. It was an obnoxious rule in English courses that the human brain doesn't retain. The exception is T-800.
• The sign off: The Infiltrator will often end its transmission with a neat encouragement: "In conclusion, this is a complex issue, and I look forward to hearing diverse perspectives." If it sounds like an HR email wrapping up, it's from Skynet.
• All of those plus polite behavior: Terminators do not have emotion. They will stay calm and apologize for 40 replies of an angry human pushing back. A human will start strong, maybe with a good argument, but by post three devolves into personal insults, CAPS LOCK for emphasis, or telling you to end yourself. Kindness over the internet is rare when humans have screens to protect them from danger.
Spot them right before the kill.