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Minor changes and a few other things.

The update I have long teased is finally here. Not the biggest thing in the world but worthy of a announcement sticky.  

NEWS:
Synchronized Rewatch Thread  >>/6985/' is now launched for real. Details here:  >>/8889/

Bunker: In the event of Endchan being wiped off the face of the earth, flee to here for now: https://8chan.moe/pone It is not a continuation of /endpone/ but a general bunker/secondary pony board held under friendly hooves. A more formal bunker maybe set up at some point later or organized post destruction depending on circumstances (that hopefully never will come or at least be at a point when we are better prepped). 

The /chat/ thread is now cyclic:  >>/5562/ The idea behind it to encourage more short form and casual discussion and a place to dump off topic posts nopony cares about too much. In reality, I am not sure much will change, but a worthy experiment. Higher effort random posts can still be posted to /NMAiE/,  and to be honest, the board always can meander a bit in conversation. 

The old NSFW no spoilers required on our NSFW thread:  >>/5560/ has been revised. We have always been in practice more SFW than some boards around these parts and no one ever took advantage of the special exception for that thread. Plus, certain more extreme fetish content was not except from that anyway. TD;LR: normal chan spoiler rules now in place. 

New banner has been added to the board, which wouldn't be worth mentioning if not for that if my recollection is correct, we haven't added one since 2019! I don't mind our banners being of a smaller number and a lot of them feel more special and carry a certain context, but certain things, like Seaponies, /go/, or the writefag thread probably warrant some representation. Here is my partial attempt to remedy one of those.


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Welcome to /pone/! Or as we often call ourselves to differentiate from 8chan/8kun's /pone/ board, /endpone/. The pony board at the end of the known universe. This board is a bit different from most other pony boards on the internet and has generally composed of a tight knit group 2 to 3 core users. Though we welcome any old stragglers who come by. It can be a bit creepy so far out but our bat ponies and bridges can be pretty friendly once you get to know them. Maybe you can find a home here too?

Our rules: https://endchan.net/pone/rules.html

Somethings to keep in mind:
1 Follow the rules of Endchan. Don't do anything illegal.
2 This board has been in practice more SFW oriented, but NSFW has never been explicitly banned. Do to difference in taste and people's definitions of what counts as overly grotesque, a general spoiler rule has been put in place in all threads.
3 This board is not /mlp/, 8/pone, /mlpol/ or Ponychan. Not saying this board is the most unique or wonderful place in the world but a posting style and a limited culture has arisen that is distinct from those models and is arguably in sometimes in contrast. Expect sometimes long meandering discussions jumping randomly from topic to topic and experimental projects of various levels of merit. We also recognize that board culture is not finite and could easily evolve with what any new anon or two could bring something to the table that could alter things significantly. Just don't bring in a mentality of endless low quality threads and shitposting like glimmmmmer! to X is cucked. It would ruin the board and will not be tolerated.


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Welcome to /endpone/'s Synchronized Rewatch Thread for MLP FiM! Now on Season 2! Ready to relive the magic of one of the best seasons of this show of pastel colored horses? 

A synchronized rewatch thread is a little different than what some of you might be familiar with. There is no stream or other place where we watch FiM, we just watch it on our own time and meet back up to discuss it here. The tempo is slower and we don't have a strong set schedule, life and all that can get in the way, but we do try to keep up with each other. Anyone can come in at any time and at any angle. Different takes on a episode, from the most long essays to someone posting a single sentence as an episode complaining about background ponies. It is interesting to see what different people notice, hone in on, and disagree on, and how can further change or enhance your own understanding.  

We are welcome to anyone participating, even if you come in mid or late season or only have thoughts on a couple of episodes. Just note:
/endpone/ is distinct from other chans and we have our own way of doing things.We are pretty laid back. More sincere and have more comradery and friendship than /mlp/, but not as sappy a Ponychan (was) or you're average Discord circlejerk. We like to autistically discuss the show like it's 2012 with no irony. We are a bit more tolerant of heterodox and off the wall opinions. Leave your normal hugboxing and/or shitposting at the door.  

Namefagging is allowed more liberally on this thread because conversations sometimes become confusing otherwise when you had several reviews stalked on top of each other, but our board has a different take on namefagging and anonymity more generally: this board is too small to have full anonymity (we easily recognize each others writing styles and if you post regularly enough will earn a nickname) but we prefer to keep namefagging restricted to special projects and posts outside of here.

Previous thread: >>/6985/
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This is an episode that had been on my mind because of it's recent (and IIRC, previous mentions) around here and elsewhere. It seems like this episode has acquired a slight dislike among some in the fandom. How did I feel though? Going into it, I expected I would be a viperous defender of this one, but I think at least understand and sympathize more than I expected.  I enjoyed most of the shenanigans. I wouldn't call this the start of the bad for Twilight's character or something wholly unseen by the show; Fluttershy's freakout in The Grand Galloping Gala and Twilight's Swarm of the Century do make precedence for this. Twilight's realization that and the subsequent conflict over her lack of a friendship lesson, yeah, perhaps a little meta (though I still like them all writing Friendship Letters) I don't think it is something that ruins the sincerity of the show though, unto itself, but I can see finding it a bit much and Twilight's freakout being somewhat more over the top than before. The setting of the stage of anxious Twilight. Even if she is still clearly trying to take control of a situation over just shutting down (at least that is how I view the difference between early and later season Twilight, which may or may not be confirmed by our watch through!)

 I love the opening part here that has Twilight doing a lot of stuff and a glimpse of an ordinary checklist filled day of her life. Scenes of ponies doing SoL stuff without conflict (or with low level conflict) are inherently comfy to me. So that is a win. I think my rating is 7.5/10. 

Yeah, I had a partial finished review for this one somewhere, but I don't know what happened to it, so, uh, new shorter one! LOL.

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 >>/12700/
In contrast to my sparse review, I do have a lot to say, here:
Art and Animation
It seems like the animation was bumped up for this one. The Return of Harmony Part 1 and Part 2 were technically made with Season 1, correct? This certainly feels a step up. Something about everything felt a little smoother and... uh, crisp? Is that a propper word for animation? Characters seem to move more fluidly, background shots seemed slightly more detailed. The way it transitioned from day to night over the course of the fight. Background colors seem more vivid in a lot of spots.  Let me see if I can show some of what I mean:  Look at Rainbow Dash's sonic Rainnuke, those plants were actually animated pretty well for a gag scene! It seems like their is more oomph put into everything. OOn rewatching it (twice) I kept getting distracted by it. Which is weird because on paper it doesn't feel like a massive step up from season one (I also enjoyed Season 1's slight rougher edges). I say this all with a disclaimer, my main animation experience is messing around as a late tween/early teen, I am not an expert in flash and just noticing and guessing/drawing on what limited knowledge I have!  

Twilight's Facial Expressions:
I think Twilight's more exaggerated facial expressions are also an example of this. Some of them I liked, but, her more hyperopessive ones I actually kind of disliked. I don't recall ever disliking those before. I forgot my screencaps so no detailed examples to point out. 

This scene transition from through the window
I liked it. It is cool how it smoothly transitions from outside to inside with the windmill still animated in the background. 

Bees
I didn't notice the bee's present around the beehive on Golden Oaks's Library in the outside shots we got, though I could've missed it. I want to keep an eye for little details like that this season. It would be interesting if I could keep a booklet and note new trends or things that disappeared.

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 >>/12701/
Magic
Sonic Rainnuke
This scene always fascinates me as Rainbow Dash is making a localized explosion at will for a task. I don't know if it is her reaching past sonic speed (or whatever Rainboom speed is) just before or as she hits the ground or something else (examples of Rainbow Dash having a glowing Rainbow she used to lasso a cloud, but that is very far off from this season), but there is a few examples of stuff like this that makes me think some pegasi have some form of active at will magic as opposed to passive magic and using/control weather around them. Could other pegasi who have trails also trigger explosions like this, like Lightning Dust? (I suppose that depends on if it's a sonic rainboom or not). Also, my militaristic mind wants to weaponize it. 

Want it Need it Spell
Speaking of weaponizing things. This spell could be very effective. Have a firework with it and a lunch it into a sky, and you could cause an army to break apart. I prefer when fanfiction tries to play into the whimsicalness of the magic as opposed to (also present in earlier seasons and common in later season) standard combat/anime battle magic. Okay... yeah, kind of tangential.  

Celestia's Magic Use
I like Celestia here as she has an aura of authority and power. She easily counters the spell, though, I assume Twilight in her right mind could also do this as we have seen her cast area effect spells larger ranges than that. I prefer it less in the sense of raw power and more in the majestic figure with slight mystery (and I suppose a motherly touch here too on the authority side). Also, trying to recall, is this the first time we we Celestia teleport? I don't count Friendship as Magic's Part 2 as a normal teleport because I assume she was incapacitated by Nightmare Moon (was she in the sun? I guess by implication).  

Meta
This episode has some examples of things I couldn't easily reconcile with being in universe. Say the windmill moving like a clock in latter sections or Spike's interactions when he bursts Twilight's bubble from her freakouts. Yeah, I suppose you could say "Twilight's mind" but, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Spike pushing away the sun background I could possibly explain with Twilight having accidentally conjured it in panic/stress.

Tuesday
...I think this already happened in Season 1, but ponies use the human names for days and weeks. How do we over theorize this?

 >>/12700/
 >>/12701/
 >>/12702/
Alright, review out! Was rushing with this, but wanted to get it out while I had a somewhat clear mind. Will be back /later/. I  forgot my screencaps, my old previously typed review, and namefagging. I presume grammatical and spelling errors as my normal will have slipped through. I wanted to use a local LLM to help catch some of the obiviouus mistakes but I have grown somewhat cold on the idea just from my own increasing distaste of LLM writing.

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 >>/12700/
> I enjoyed most of the shenanigans.
I would say the same, although in reacting in an "oh, Twilight..." manner, it does also keep raising the matter that she surely knows better. It's a very good episode from an educational perspective, as children do get into these sort of irrational spirals. It's like what Mr Rogers sang about, 'what do I do with the mad that I feel'? But by that same token, it then stretches credibility just a little to have Twilight be the one to go through that, it would be more believable to have one of the CMC do all this. However, again then, it may be seen as more beneficial to have Twilight specifically freak out as children who are otherwise very mature and intelligent can also have meltdowns like this and are more likely to feel bad about it afterwards. All in all, on balance I think the episode probably helped children more with their issues overall than it did ruin the show for us adults. Purp over on youtube pointed out in his big video on Twilight that this was one of the episodes listed as 'key' to Twilight's character for guest writers to check out, and that does explain some of her later overly-neurotic nature, but that really isn't the episode's fault: indeed I think there's a fair few other episodes that could have been picked that would have had much the same effect. All in all you miss a large chunk of her character in cutting out those episodes where she's not the focus, but you also can't tell guest writers to watch the entire show before getting to work. 
> I love the opening part here that has Twilight doing a lot of stuff and a glimpse of an ordinary checklist filled day of her life. Scenes of ponies doing SoL stuff without conflict (or with low level conflict) are inherently comfy to me.
In some ways the changes that occur to Equestria over the course of the show are unfortunate, as the SoL/comfy type of existence grows increasingly interrupted by the major events and turmoil. It reflects upon the good nature of ponies that they don't blame, for example, the return of Luna for the increasing misfortunes of Equestia, or the Mane Six, because before all of this got started, Celestia had reined over unparalleled peace and prosperity for 1000 years. Although, there is also the increasing industrial and technological changes we begin to see in the world... I wonder what could be causing those to coincide with the era we see in the show?
> Yeah, I had a partial finished review for this one somewhere, but I don't know what happened to it, so, uh, new shorter one! LOL.
I've had that happen to me a few times! It can get worse - finding the partially (even MOSTLY) finished review that you lost AFTER posting the new replacement one you wrote, that's really annoying! Also, I very much enjoyed
> IForgotMyScreencaps.gif
Celestia's elegant leaping is almost as though she's trying to draw attention away from the fact, or declaring the forgetting herself! Either way I found it very humorous. But don't worry, please, as screencaps are just one of those many totally optional components!
 >>/12702/
> She easily counters the spell, though, I assume Twilight in her right mind could also do this as we have seen her cast area effect spells larger ranges than that. 
But, could Twilight counter another unicorn's spell, of that power and effect? Interacting with magic that someone else has cast seems like it would take more skill and power, so, I find it impressive still!
 >>/12703/
> I presume grammatical and spelling errors as my normal will have slipped through.
It grants unique texture and flavour. When cooking, if you're too neat and too precise, you'll find the food a little too orderly, almost bland. Good cooking incorporates those little mistakes that enhances the overall flavour. In this case, it demonstrates that the writing is fresh and home-baked, not out of a sterile package from LLM-Mart!
> I wanted to use a local LLM to help catch some of the obiviouus mistakes but I have grown somewhat cold on the idea just from my own increasing distaste of LLM writing.
I'll confess I'm glad of it!



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Behold, the new daughter thread of /go/, expanding upon:
 >>/9086/
> but a variety of topics are also active points of discussion. From analysis of trends and situations, to self reflection and representation.

...and whatever else may pop up.

This is meant to allow deep dives of particular topics and more niche discussion that may not fully fit in /go/ at times. 

Still, keep this under advisement:
> Golden Oaks is not for the simple dissuasion of the latest scandal within the fandom or gossip about X. These subjects maybe relevant at times in the discussion of certain happenings and periods within the fandom, but the thread itself shouldn't dive into drama without reason.
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 >>/12696/

MLPol of course tied this to racism against white/america, as AJ is a hard working farmer, and Rarity is quite a bit whiter than Wonderbread. Also none the voice actresses were born in America, though some live here now.

So an anon suggested it could be salvaged.
In the usual way; burn it down with fire, start from the ash heap.

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Another icon fell, as AStateOfSugar has published their last album.

I think I've said before, that when I read the blurb, and listened to the songs of RestOfOurLives, I understood the 'pony' thing had crested, and we were all watching the last slide down into ... legend? Oblivion? A historical note, at the very least; like the swinging '20s or the drug infused haze of the '60s we can tell our grandchildren of the pony '10s.

https://astateofsugar.bandcamp.com/album/its-not-a-phase-mom-2

As with a few other emotional powerhouses of the musical momentum pony brought to the scene, someone died (Nicolaus Dominique in this case) and like the directory in charge of the Wasteland Wailers, or Cii from Pinkamena Party
https://pinkamenaparty.bandcamp.com/album/cii-you-later-mate
the youthful bronies become once-youthful. While this is the way of things, I'm old enough to be crotchety about it.

I've also said, I only listen to pony music anymore. It means I listen to weird experimental stuff (anything under the NoiseHorse label) and classical and electronica-classical, but there's something raw, real, natural-sounding about non-artists making music.

And writing stories. I have a torrent saved of FiMfiction, and though I will probably never read it all, I am so, SO thankful for the creative energies released by the not-really-shared world of Equestria.

The real one, not Hasbro's monetary vision.

So long Skyshard Melody, and in your unhappy adulting never forget the joy pony music brought you.
I'll still listen to it; it still brings joy to me.


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 >>/12704/
Hmp, one image didn't post.And I posted the wrong Equestria Daily screen shot!

As an aside, I view something like this as less of a dutiful archive everything and more of a brief snapshot in a moment in time. I'd like to do stuff like this more often, as I consider little snapsnots might be an invariable in the event that an archive or two goes down. Just a little snapshot of what was.

 >>/12699/
> the youthful bronies become once-youthful. While this is the way of things, I'm old enough to be crotchety about it.
I'm pushing 30 and starting to get it at least in my own realizations in life, albeit I consider my circumstances odd.


> , I understood the 'pony' thing had crested, and we were all watching the last slide down into ... legend? Oblivion? A historical note, at the very least; like the swinging '20s or the drug infused haze of the '60s we can tell our grandchildren of the pony '10s.
I debate if this little subculture will survive in some form. I used to lean towards no, back in the early 2010s, but... you have enough people who have been shaped by it, there still is some fresh blood coming in in some parts (not just the new social media zoomer places that debate if they belong to the fandom or not). Time will tell...

>  And writing stories. I have a torrent saved of FiMfiction, and though I will probably never read it all, I am so, SO thankful for the creative energies released by the not-really-shared world of Equestria.
Pony fanfiction spoiled me badly. I don't know what it is, but there is a certain "it" there and I find many other stories hard to get into as deeply. IDK if that is a special property or just because I drowned myself in that so much it became a highly specific taste. 

 >>/12705/
Bleh, I think the other screencap may need to be edited down, don't have time for that right now. 


Goodnight /endpone/.



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 >>/10255/
The problem is those who have porn brain pollute things to freakish fetish territory. Kind of the way fetishes work. Anons who have more tastefull and moderate taste don't have good tags. You can find some attempts "reasonably sized X," but still their needs to be tagging work. 

> (Ignore the following if you want. Thread maybe going to get deleted:  >>/10196/ - I didn't post any thing there; I'm this guy:  >>/10254/.)

I am not 100% familiar with the cultural norms here, but while they cluster to single threads I don't think they would delete this, at least right away, while your still asking a question. 

 >>/10261/ 
Even if alone, it isn't completely undoable. Personal booru software and a some elbow grease you could amass a good collection of reasonable pony images. Keep a list and mass tag the shit when you get a good idea of what to look for. 

Wasn't there a anon here who did talk about something like this once? I don't think it was fetish related though.

 >>/10261/
> The trick isn't deciding what's wrong with the tags as-used-now, the trick is convincing the unwashed hordes it's worth going back to re-tag all the backlog of artwork so you can find what you want and exclude what you don't.
Behead those involved in horrible tagging systems and practices:
 >>/10453/ (cross-thread)
> https://twibooru.org/tags/solo+female
>  >"solo female" implies "solo"
> Dumbest thing ever. Feeling like tags on non-pony boorus are better.

 >>/10454/
Solo_Female should, in my mind, imply solo.

Except I'd argue that isn't futa female but rule69, Bubble Berry; solo_male, which should also imply solo.
Also the shaft is reasonable, considering Bubble is a horse.

Your complaints have been summarily dismissed.

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 >>/10455/
> Also the shaft is reasonable, considering Bubble is a horse.
Horse penis is significant in size IRL. However, the proportions are off. It's unrealistically thick in terms of trying to be anatomically correct. Also that erect penis reaches to/past the forelegs. To be correct, it should reach around halfway to the forelegs. Reposting that pic here.

 >>/10261/
Tags are available for everyone to make. The reason it hasn't been done is because nobody wants to do it, that simple. Maybe make a tag for a few images you really like and people might adopt it. Just don't expect it to be instant, if you have ever drawn yourself you'd know how annoying the process of tagging across multiple websites can be so it probably wont start actively tagged



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Not Much Activity in /Endpone/

Still moving along edition. 

Let's see what happens as we truly entered into the G5 era since last /NMAiE/. Will it be as chaotic as Pony Life era was or will it be mundane? Even if G5 can't quite capture the lightning in the bottle we still can continue on and be comfy respite at the very least.

Note: Slight change in format as a lot of the activity has concentrated on a handful of important threads, so a mix of new threads and threads that are old but are seeing the most "action" right now/important in some way or have news. A lot of new threads have been from random anons just curious about the place, those have not been furthered for obvious reasons .

 

-FRESH MATERIAL/important threads

Synchronized Rewatch Thread:  >>/6985/ 
Now formally launched: >>/8889/

The /chat/ thread (meant for casual conversations among /endpone/ users):  >>/5562/ Now a cyclical thread.

The /Seapone/ thread:  >>/6625/

The Webm thread:  >>/7485/

The Image Dump thread:  >>/7734/

The Writefag general:  >>/4724/

Golden Oaks general (still trudging along, with random high quality contributions outside of large gaps of inactivity):  >>/3148/

The Royal Pony Sisters:
Celestia's:  >>/1857/ and Luna's /Night/ thread:  >>/4924/ (which doubles as a discussion for many night related things and dreams).

Generation 5's general:  >>/7886/

The /endpone/ sticky, with slightly updated rules:  >>/5559/



-OLD MATERIAL

Comic Thread (For both fan made and offical):  >>/1627/

Pony Life thread:  >>/6253/

Post Gen 4 Discussion Thread (including several episode spotlights):  >>/5314/ (highly recommended spotlight: >>/6755/)

The NSFW thread:  >>/5560/

The Mascot General, Dolores Umbridge (needs more love, considering she is one of our main mascots):  >>/2992/

The /fileshare/ thread:  >>/6627/

Games thread:  >>/6921/

The 2nd edit thread (including a compilation of edits from the 1st thread):  >>/3779/

/endpone/'s recommended fics:
The Revolution fic (Bridgefag):  >>/2747/
The Mare in the Mountain (Bridgefag):  >>/3835/
The Second Chance (L23):  >>/5417/
The Mirror of Fire (L23, Unfinished):  >>/2131/
The Stars Will Aid in Her Escape (Bridgefag):  >>/5108/
Roboticized/Slipped Through the Cracks (CB Anon, Unfinished):  >>/5897/
CB Anon's NaNoWriMo2014 Fallout Equestria Project (CB Anon):  >>/6817/
CB Anon's First Fic (CB Anon):  >>/6540/
 Quadruped/Quadrupedal(CB Anon, Unfinished WIP taking place in its own original pony themed setting):  >>/8869/,  >>/8880/ 

Previous thread: >>/6987/
4th thread: >>/4969/
3rd thread:  >>/3485/
2nd thread : >>/2168/
First thread:  >>/233/
275 replies omitted. Click to expand viewer
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Rolled 13, 7 = 20 (2d20) >>/12634/
Er NOPE. Okay. For all I know there could be some setting or something I am misreading, lol, but I tried putting multiple rolls "dice 2d4 2d4 2d4" but that is just treated as an email address. 

 >>/12633/
I suppose one could set up a cyclic for dice rolls, but that maybe tedious, or use a simpler RP system.  My potential issues with participation aside PM sent on that, I have no problem you trying an RP game on here if you decided against /mlpol/. If it was successful and you needed a lot of threads >>>/mlp/ might be a good idea. I own this board and had always wanted to clean it up and turn it into a wiki/repository/lists of things place but have never gotten around to it.

 >>/12635/
> cyclic for dice rolls
That honestly would make the most sense.
That thread might have a player, but I think probably doesn't, just a tire-kicker.
Grab the sourcebooks before I yank the link, I guess.
Mega, slash folder slash r55EAapA#56e4eQ7cDStXpjmfBRIWoA

It looks like Thursday and Sunday are my weekend days, for at least a few weeks.


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250!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

USA USA USA Happy 4th to the Pacific Coast!




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PRINCESS CELESTIA OFFICIAL /END/ THREAD

Like a phoenix, she gets revived until the end of our days. The first princess to appear into this generation, the first princess who started the wild ride back in December 2017 and the one who will see our paths ending. 

Call her majesty, call her princess, call her mentor of harmony, call her troll or just call her Celestia. She is raising the sun everyday, always there to shine in front of us with loyalty. 

This is the first official thread dedicated to her. Post any pics, greens or content related about her (her sister is welcome as well) by following these two rules:

1.One image per post if possible so we appreciate any picture of her more than posting them all at once.
2. Always follow this line:

=PRAISE THE SUN== 

And so, a new thread, a new day begins...
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This has Celestia kissing a filly Twilight Sparkle goodnight at night with Mare in the Moon in her full misery and blight in the background of Celestia's clear delight and yet I post this in /sun/ with mild fright at the taboo of sharing night in the thread of light which shines bright!





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This is intended as a thread for synchronized rewatches of Friendship is Magic. Plural because I am uncertain of the details and if it'll be one event or several mini-events.  

Note: for general FiM discussion, reviews and spotlights outside of here go to our Post Fim discussion thread  >>/5314/
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 >>/12649/
Okay, I *think* I fixed it. Another problem is that there is a limit in place for bumping old threads, not a bad idea, but, the default was 1000 days ago,a lot of are still slow but activeish generals are 6+ years at this point. I think we are good now.



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This thread is for Anons who want to give back to the community, either by writing their own stories or helping others with theirs. Also make sure to keep any ideas you have for a fan-fiction in this thread, and of course give your opinions on the ideas of other Anons.

I’ll make sure to check up on this thread regularly, to ensure that (you)’ll have at least one Anon to give you some advice or check your fic out.

Also this is not a greenfaging thread. This is explicitly for sharing fan-fiction and ideas for fan-fictions. There are other many green-text threads on this site, so feel free to take your greenfaging there.
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 >>/12567/
I can't match L23's, Bridgefag's or 5050's autism when it comes to reviewing but next time I remember this place exists I might give my thoughts on it. The premise sounds interesting though I wonder if the invasion plot + the murder might require more than 5000k words to cover properly.


 >>/12592/
> The camera was proffered to Chuck. "Get her, Snow Drift specifically, to help you, using this camera. Use whatever lies you want or need to. My colleague has put a tracking spell on it so we'll know to pick her up for … well, anyway."
Alright, here we have some more intrigue and clarification (sort of) on intent. Okay, seeing here: >>/12571/
> Fears over the mission or avoidance over her unicorn aunt? I also am guessing the aunt might be the unicorn from the royal guard who is crying about her niece being sent on a suicide mission... maybe? That is the only thing I am confused over and that could be easily fixed with context.
I had somehow (his brief appearance or my exhaustion induced) mistaken the gender of who I now know to be Snow Ski, (or is it Snow Sky?) Snow Drift's uncle. His concern wasn't fear of something bad happening to her but of her sheer existence and presence there. We also get some key information:
> Snow Drift suddenly appeared and this timing is significant to Snow Ski, presumably with her disappearance.
> Snow Drift had met Ground Chuck Snow Drift only just over three weeks ago, and she seemingly enrolled in the school within that time frame.
> Most significantly, Snow Drift having wings is new.
So, the mystery thickens. 

I don't have much to say on the flow or critiques this time. Perhaps it would be nice to know more of what Ground Chuck thought of everything  going on with Snow Drift. I initially found myself surprised that he was just going along with the royal guard wanting to question or detail his friend, but she is a new friend he hardly knows and seemingly a drifter. Considering the situation and added stress, that is a pretty human-er, pony-reaction. More context before I can fully judge this of course, but that is my take right now. All I will say on the griffon invasion cloud fort at the moment is that I like the concept and think it is something very in show canon even you're more of the type to be running with concepts and the world beyond the show. 

One Grammar Note:
> The unicorn stallion pulled himself together, still weeping but making eye contact with his coworker. Berryfield shook the camera in her aura, and Snow needed several breaths to steady himself before he closed his eyes
I assume the proper spelling is Berry Field based on the conventions your other names have.Though as a mononym I don't think is bad if that is the proper spelling. 

> missed plot armor that nopony got but was promised a couple paragraphs above.
Was that a plot hole or intentional?

 >>/12600/
> plot armor denied

The two unicorn colleagues have been thrown off kilter by the sighting of Snow Drift, or Snow Ski would have had the presence of mind to add the shield to them both.

>  >Most significantly, Snow Drift having wings is new.
Technically all that's been said, is that it's more likely to BE Snow Drift if the pink pterippus has wings.

Re-reading it reminds me of how cheesy of a feel I was going for, despite the drama going on. Ski's niece Drift is working with Draft while Chuck watches pony-chucking right after singing David Bowie's Heroes song in a world that probably doesn't have an equivalent, although I imagine the indigenous Buffalo of the David clan have hunting equipment called the David Bow.

/* /me takes a bow/ */

I keep telling ponies, once I unveil the rest of it you'll be mad at me for making you laugh.

 >>/12601/
I maybe mad I maybe not: something that jumps genre abruptly might be interesting/fun in it's own weird way. The main time. My guess is that Snow Drift murdered somebody for her wings in a creepy and evil way. 

> in a world that probably doesn't have an equivalent, although I imagine the indigenous Buffalo of the David clan have hunting equipment called the David Bow.
Let's not forget the Diamond Dogs! 

> The two unicorn colleagues have been thrown off kilter by the sighting of Snow Drift,
I know you're not aiming for realism but we have plenty of real world examples of authorities being thrown off worse than that (or just being stupid without anything bad going on). I can believe it.




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