>>/955127/
> be me, Dezi Freeman
> last of the bushrangers, first of the sovereign citizens
> literally got “Freeman” in the name, God chose me for this
> freeman on the land, sovereign as fuck
> 10 badmen roll up, trespassing on MY crown land grant (handwritten in biro, legally binding)
> smoke two like Winnie Blues at smoko
> their mates turn into Olympic sprinters
> 5 mins later their mates bring more yowies call in SOG, TRG, AFP, NSWPF, NASA, Space Force, and a bloke named bradly with a phone from Kmart
> coppers do 600 flyovers, still think I’m hiding in my shed
> Jokes on them, I am the shed now
> crisis actors on TV pretending I exist, sipping taxpayer Red Wine at zog FOB winery
> cop chopper does 400 laps over my property
> I literally crouch behind a wheelie bin and they can’t see me
> thermal imaging = defeated by $2 space blanket from Clark Rubber
> helicopter spotlight shines on me
> I T-pose and whisper “acknowledge my sovereignty”
> pilot instantly has psychotic break, crashes into Bright bakery
> ASIO psyops on 7 News:
> “we are conducting a methodical search”
> methodical search = 600 cops wandering in circles looking for me while I eat Shapes in a hollow log
> they think they’re hunting me, but I’m hunting them
> become one with bush
> decide bush is now my new legal residence
> vanish.exe
> I am tree
> I am wombat
> I am breeze that rustles gumleaves
> SOG steps over me, trips on a rock, thinks it’s an ambush, shoots at shadows
> media says “gunshots in the forest”
> actually just me dropping a dart and stomping it out
> locals seethe, yowies cope, Dezi remains undefeated
> catch me if you can, officer koala