/bert/ - ciclismo

GEE will win the vuelta

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whats the /bet/ on how many and which berts will refresh the old thread for ages

 >>/37413/
Sweet revenge on Brtek on calling the mighty Czech navy to invade Polska.
38t is an amphibious tank of coursh.

 >>/37412/
are Matty O'Jorgz mogs him hard

> tfw no ALZINI martina gf

 >>/37416/
can't wait to see him ride like a brainless retard again

buchman to the vuelta, it's over for the rest

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Saw a fellow bertacek going up on some 25% gradients on a road bike, scoring some 30 rpm
Absolute hero, i can barely walk downhill

 >>/37420/
Bike rack bros...we lost.....

 >>/37420/
why aren't you cycling up this

 >>/37421/
 >>/37422/
i learned my lesson

will piddi cuckitiny even topten this edition of the la vuelta?

 >>/37424/
unlikely
he will finish 16th and call it good training for his GC ambitions

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> Fell for it again 

Where the hell is the post counter in this place?

well yes, I fell for it. it's not like it was an important ciclismo day. And yes the Tour du Limousin-Périgord - Nouvelle Aquitaine means nothing to me.

Yes I was refreshing. Anyway, I can't make a good team for tomorrow. It's impossible. It's over.

And why the FUCK is my flag Am*rican. FUCK

 >>/37429/
You need to lose some weight.

me fallout new vegas save file got corrupt, het ist voorbij

 >>/37424/
he couldn't even drop strong on a rampa, what makes anyone think he'll survive on l'angliru

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I can't make a team, anything with grug looks horrible but without him there's so many choices that can go wrong

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 >>/37434/
I give you this one for free bert

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this has got to be one of the worst teams EF has ever fielded

 >>/37424/
if he really only does GC and doesn't top 10 this then he should be terminated (contractually) 
there are barely even 10 good gc riders on the start list

 >>/37437/
Jegat, Johannessen and Healy can top 10 Tour de France but Pidders can't top 10 a Giro where half the GC riders abandon.

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 >>/37438/
alright but this course suits him perfectly hehehe

 >>/37439/
I can't believe this guy is still living off beating post crash froomedawg and meinkes on alpe d'huez

 >>/37424/
he will say he will and try really hard and then get heemed by washed up has-beens like squmartinguyonet and pensioner caruso and then say in the media "hey guys actually i was going for stagewins" and then make one break in the last week and get hard dropped by ivan cobo

 >>/37436/
methinks BELOKI will break out. probably a stage win in aggregate between all of those runners. too bad that's not how it works

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ketchup pasta pals we eatin good

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ketchup pasta pals we eatin good

 >>/37443/
 >>/37444/
two bowls?

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 >>/37440/
> the palmares of a man who competes with the best of the best in terms of salary 
somehow I thought he had more gc stage wins or something, its like his results get worse every time I check his pcs page

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 >>/37446/
get on my level piddy cuckitini

 >>/37440/
those were the days, when all you needed to do to win a TDF stage was beat boasson hagen and taco van der hoorn in a sprint a deux or whatever black magic plot armor HOULE hexed the peloton with. 2022 had a lot of wacky break wins,

 >>/37447/
> leaves UAE
> stops winning

 >>/37449/
October is yet to come

 >>/37448/
> lampaert in yellow thanks to the rain
> bling vs bettiol
> houle scripted win for his dead brother
> magnus cort winning that climbing stage agains LLS
> demonic wout
> vingegaard successfully cracking pogi with TACTICS
honestly a fun year

 >>/37449/
he's getting back into shape the last 2 years, wouldn't surprise me if he actually peaks for those italian races to boos tudor high enough to buy that wanty license

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 >>/37451/
wout was fun in 2022

> Renewi Tour
it's unreal it doesn't get more flak than the Murder Tour of Poland

 >>/37454/
route is fun this year, no all determining TT and the leuven stage is chaos

 >>/37454/
> Murder Tour of Poland
I like it, I don't think I have saved that bloody frog Bertc always uses, would be appropriate.

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There it is:
< Murder Tour of Poland

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Is that really the official name? Seems a bit morbid

 >>/37453/
wonder what barely human wout would think if you told him tree years later he would be the shoe-in for kwak of the year

 >>/37458/
kurwamurder der ronde van silesia memorial fabarrier smackobsen

 >>/37459/
he has said that tour really broke his body, I wonder what they were taking back then

 >>/37452/
> to boos tudor high enough to buy that wanty license
Will be interesting to see what UCI does with that extra license. Tudor and Q36.5 are 10k points down from Uno-X and Cofidis so if it's simply handed out to the next team in the rankings it wont be those. But if it can be sold to the highest bidder because it's a special case separate from the relegation system then those mountain jew teams probably have the money for it.

here's to hope that lidl tells deutscherland tour that they want to send a climber next year so they stop making the most boring fucking flat races for milan to farm

> Niki Terpstra becomes DS at quick step
kinda based

 >>/37463/
deutschland tour and a not completely lame parcours? Impossible

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> It's another thrilling episode of "Bert Spent 5 Hours F5'ing a Full Thread"

 >>/37466/
KWAB
attentionlets lose again

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the trick is to post a lot so the thread tells you that its full

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Listen I know I said there was going to a /wtw/ surprise this week, but I have thought about it further. I had ordered a little collection of Spatburgunder for ADAC Cyclassics and it didn't arrive until today. I was going to post on one of the bottles (so essentially having two wines for the ADAC Cyclassics), but have decided against it. /wtw/ should be posted when appropriate, not willy-nilly. In this same vein, I also have some Czech "beer" which I will not be discussing any further, regardless of histrionics and protests.

Bert was right, the Renewi Tour parcour looks much better than last year
Is this the race where the was that prologo on a narrow bike path next to a canal (i think ska went wide in one corner too) or was it a different belgian race

 >>/37469/
brtek wont like this

 >>/37436/
dio mio, I hope this isn't what they were planning to send with Carapaz and those guys will now support him in the /grande/ classics

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some good eggs to be found out there

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 >>/37469/
The consequences will never be the same again

 >>/37473/
good frying pan as well

 >>/37473/
road surface looks inhumane

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 >>/37476/
this looks fine tho

 >>/37477/
i can feel my small brain rattling in my skull. my personal pet theory is that riding cobbles makes you stupid. because the vibrations.

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 >>/37478/
PPATT(other)T you just need to push more watts

 >>/37476/
it's bad on that big climb but everywhere else it was buttery smooth; going down it is horrendous

> tfw wattlet
is the only solution to chose between dopage and dozens of hours on the raper per week?
there must be another way

 >>/37436/
Matti Breschel gave exclusive velogames tips to feltet where he said Archie Ryan is a secret pick.

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https://youtube.com/watch?v=SKbDDuWpbCo

Jonas is watching this video and mirin the crank length

 >>/37464/
He’ll be good (I hope)

> Lidl Tour of Denmark
> Lidl Deutschland Tour
> Lidl Czech Tour
I think I see a pattern here

Rwanda tour velogoomblin closes in 3 hours. adjoost all sprinters out as every tour has rampas these days.

Tronchon to FDJ

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 >>/37487/
Shame, another good squaker career over before it began
Anyway how was your morning ride berts? For me it was some suprathreshold work. Just not my strong suit I guess, I have no problem doing 3-5min intervals at high watts but these 8-10min intervals just suck the life out of me. HR is fine, breathing is fine, but pushing the power just becomes increasingly difficult. Much prefer ftp and sweetspot over this stuff, bleh

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 >>/37488/

can timmy wellz make it tree binck banck's in a row?

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 >>/37489/
Fueling those efforts with a big 1100kcal meal of veggie bolognese mit ketchup
 >>/37490/
Probably not as he's on my veloteam

 >>/37490/
No there's no TT

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Apparently my /hiking/ was 34 eggs, it wasn't even that difficult
Still expecting when the infamous DOMS gonna kick in

 >>/37493/
We've been over this already it's like 10 eggs for the activity itself. This is stolen valour

PCS is down. you heard it here firstcycling

 >>/37495/
What the FUCK, i MUST adjust one more time

PCS is back up. you heard it here before the PCS Pro bros

My team is absolute GARBAGE holy fuck
no more adjusting, this is hopeless

 >>/37498/
It really doesn't look good

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 >>/37498/
well mine is perfect. everything has been accounted for

> In his build-up and preparation towards the Vuelta a España Max Poole wasn’t reacting positively to training. Things worsened at the recent Tour de Pologne and he left the race on medical grounds to investigate the potential cause. The results of these investigations have concluded that Max is suffering from Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) and he is therefore unable to train or race for the upcoming period.

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Posting my meme team, also
> crash by troon

CHUTE AERTS Troon

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 >>/37502/
We have exactly 0 (zero) common runners

WE LIVE IN CASTILLA

 >>/37504/
> He fell for the Grug meme 
Oh no no no no

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ABANDON PORTSMOUTH Tom

> KRIJNSEN Jelte in the tete
will he activate his late season dopage again. he's been bretty shit this year and i just assumed he went clean

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 >>/37504/
You must have a very bad team then

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 >>/37509/
Yes, well, I have 4 (fore) czechoslovaks in me velosquad

 >>/37501/
runners get the weirdest diseases lately

 >>/37502/
Removed TURNER with a heavy heart to fit in Grug. Don't think VACEK for 18 is a better idea than Grug for 24.

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Refreshing on MVDF until teams get unhidden. Wonder what I shall see.

> Thibau Nys has been stung by an insect.

 >>/37514/
holy kwab

 >>/37514/
yes, hello. I need a word with the refund section please.

 >>/37516/
your team ain't insured against insect incidents sorry

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 >>/37514/

 >>/37517/
I refuse to believe that insects even live in that pig farmer part of the Ne*erlands

 >>/37513/

for once we seem to have variety in the teams from the top jockeys. also > bertiol

 >>/37514/
the yellow b's at it again

 >>/37520/
> bertiol, kubis, de lie
This will go very well or very bad.
Also, strange deja vu I am having now, a deja vu of a deja vu because I have already experienced this moment, writing this post, and already then though this is a deja vu.

 >>/37507/
I had this dude an veloman changed him to another jobber,

 >>/37522/
pour moi de lie was the easiest pick because he [hypothetically] provides value across all five etapes. ofc he can revert to de calf at any moment but thats a risk you have to take.

I took Girmay I'm sorry

 >>/37524/
He gets buffed in Belgium. Whether that buff is unique to Wallonie I have no idea

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ROOTKIN-GRAY Jack

 >>/37524/
If you get a Hamburg De Lie this is good, if you get a labile De Lie this is a 20 point hole.
I have decided to pay premium for non-labile Grug, as he is giving a shit every race this year. He is not going to skor on first two but I also don't think you're getting more than a total 100 from De Lie on these two.

On the other hand this pure goomble and with my luck Grug is not feeling right and De Lie is on fire.

A runner won solo in Castilla at the Rampas

Grug said he wants to win an ride hard by the way

 >>/37528/
everyone i picked is a team leader who is finally coming into form. everyone i didn't pick is either hjaelping for another or just here for the paycheck

 >>/37530/
as expected

 >>/37530/
It's Grug in a meaningless stage race recovering from pneumonia. Anyone who sunk 24 Velobucks into him is a fool.

 >>/37534/
He recovered a while ago an said he got bored of training in spain so he's here to smash

chute mathieu gov ekk kar

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Picks.  >>/37531/

 >>/37534/
reminder that pros recover from stuff like pneumonia and broken collarbone within 3-7 days and as a matter of fact the more damage they received the stronger they come back. Vingo in 2024 and Abrahamsen in 2025 proved this so its fact

> secret selection kubish LUKE

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Got me shoe condoms, can't wait for proper weather do test them out.

Tibor del Grosso will finish higher in GC and win more stages (1) than MVDP

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How did I not notice Merlol is there.
Oh well surely he will work for Magnier...

 >>/37546/
GJ Bertc, was there wine involved.
Because I have had similar selective blindness when picking during a weekend, hungover.

 >>/37546/
he'll chute

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 >>/37547/
Yes well no comment on the wine bit.
Don't want to perpetuate the stereotypes and all that.

ECHELONS

 >>/37546/
just pick both lol

W A A I E R S

> jose been and robert millar on comms
what did we do to deserve this

 >>/37553/
Cursed duo for a cursed race

ynr samuel whosford

 >>/37555/
le peak for january guy
le win in Australia guy

tibor the gross

holy shit every dutch town looks the same

Didn't plow so right. Abandon.

Czechs have won the Battle of Warsaw

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pcsman what the fuck????

 >>/37558/
In Belgium we joke about how they can’t find their own house or you would even describe it to someone

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 >>/37560/
Not so fast, JUST a battle.

 >>/37562/
> it's the row housh made from bricksh

I thought Brtek's boy KUBIŠ was a czech'em

abondon johan price pejtersen

tim w. looking very lean

 >>/37566/
obviously a sickness in the alpecin camp. i expect a MVDNF any second now

ynr la porte

 >>/37566/
Don't give that bidon to grug or Depoils.

 >>/37569/
don't remind me them chompers

> split in the peloton
> j_ b_ discussing something entirely irrelevant and utterly useless to the race

GEENS dropped, had him on one of my teams.

thanks dog the daddy has streams in other languages as well, so I simply pick the squeak one

 >>/37572/
Just can't wait to hear her call the sprint finish

how do you know you are in the Netherlands and not in Belgium? the ferries aren't free.

love how hard intermarket are pulling so that girmay can finish 13th

ayco bastiens (who?) laché

> DILLIER Silvan (Alpecin - Deceuninck) is struggling to hold on in peloton

What the FUCK is going on there.

Dillier looks like he took a sip from the same bidon as his sick team mates. pas normal that he's at the back of the pedalton instead of pulling it.

kek mvdp gave them all his pneumonia infection

 >>/37582/
yee haw cowbert, wildcard KUSS is here to rustle up some velocoins

 >>/37582/
sprinters are disgusting. 10 for Aular, Van Uden and Zingle?

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Get a load of these guys.

this has been the easiest GT to make a team for in quite a while

 >>/37586/
i agree, veloman dropped the ball on a few six pointers. and you just pick jonas and mads automatically anyway

They just let him go lol.
Free seconds.

 >>/37587/
On 6? Yes, but there are not so secret 4 pointers to pick if you need to shave points of Joao, mandatory.

 >>/37585/
This is a GT team??

 >>/37590/
unconfirmed so the still have time to add jappe or at least del grosso

 >>/37585/
big quint gonna get five stages

 >>/37590/
They're not offishel yet but if Jappe is not going then this might as well be it. Arkeakekesque.
 >>/37592/
Too bad there are so many good, cheap picks, I would be ON him.

 >>/37589/
VAN BOVEN and SMITH being 6 points but a certain anglo being 4 points is egregious nonattentionpaying from goerge

GEE left out for Vuelta

We're all going to have the same team.

imagine dope stannard wins

ratbros...it's over

 >>/37595/
Blood values didn't drop in time.

 >>/37595/
yes but HIRT in, after a 6 month south american training camp

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 >>/37595/
hmmmm...

is there a pro peloton watch for which runners are """training""" in Südamerika? This is important information

what is the point of making vingo so expensive if everyone will pick him anyway

 >>/37600/
they've got him on so much dope that he thinks it's 2022 and he's doing tour of oman up the green mountain. expect BIG things

> selecting the fish

 >>/37574/
listening to grande audio, the guy just named his veloteam with bittner and kubis

attenzione g2 slurpage

Slurp

slurping so hard girmay is on the front kek

 >>/37603/
yeah really pointless, same with the tour
imo to achieve what velobert wants to achieve I would increase the cost by so much that you can only pick garbage if you go pick those guys so its a choice between picking the gc lords or picking more lower tier riders that could score big

magnier burning matches

will be kwab if quickstep mess this up while having the best sprinter in both groups

 >>/37612/
will be a messed up sprint regardless, I expect a weird winner

Crashford

olav goy chute
welshford collected

chute koi, whalesford

CHUTE

CHUTE KOOIJ

Mckwab

and bald fraud mclay

CHUTE
borabro aint getting up

really is always the same guys
van den berg
kooij
welsford
I've seen them chute like 4 times

mc laying in the grass

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Point at Bertacek and laugh

jumbo in shambles

 >>/37624/
what reason did you have to pick him with kooij as sprinter

 >>/37626/
i fully expected kooij to chute and the plan worked 200%

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Who's is Ineos riding for again?

 >>/37628/
turngod obviously

 >>/37628/
TURNER Benjamin, a very reasonable pick.

grug hulking at the front lol

easy merlol win
de lie is really reborn

De Lie second? Nice.

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Now this is what I'm paying for!

luv de stier

merLORD

arnaud i love you

 >>/37634/
do you think they have a sandwich vending machine in the soudal team bus?

BAM

always excited for a good BAM

de hair guy huh

Nihonbert takes this.

why is bent burner a sprinter nowadays anyway
I thought he was a classics rider

prodhommewinslol

lots of spectators in Deutschland who want to see Lippowitz

prodhomme throwing

 >>/37644/
not so fast

well yes, the countries with red flags just blend in with the background color

prodhomme is off the program

 >>/37647/
> never pull, eh

Tietema spent his entire budget on groenewegen and that dude can't even top 10 this field

 >>/37651/
guaranteed to win in Slovenia

> BEHRENS Niklas
i dont mean to be too dramatic but his career is literally already over

So one of those godawful Belgians from Cofidis won something. Get the FUCK out of here

 >>/37653/
no you don't understand, visma's white jersey project is going to make him good

 >>/37654/
he never won before and it's not even a contract year. strange indeed.

Also I want a refund for Plowright and Berts who did not pick Turner did NOT pay attention. These are my conclusions of the day

*out does Deutschlandtour instead of REMCEWO because it's an ASO race?

Prologues are so kino

 >>/37659/
consider: 3k prologue with 2.8k straight flat and then 200m 9% ramp

milan washed so is prologuemerchant zijlaard

 >>/37661/
> make an incredibly boring route for him
> he's not in shape

> philipsen to la vuelta
well shit that kinda fucks things up

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how do you fit in Pidcock?

 >>/37664/
fucking hell everyone's team is going to look the same isn't it

 >>/37664/
Why would you for that price.
 >>/37663/
Can't have both of them, FUCK.

tell me about Senior Leclerf

 >>/37667/
he used to live like 15 minutes away from me, I think I saw him with an mtb once

 >>/37665/
probably but I haven't heard any insider news about Almerda's condition so maybe he is not auto include

 >>/37669/
https://www.abola.pt/noticias/joao-almeida-vou-a-luta-na-vuelta-sem-medo-2025081920041493736

> . I'm optimistic for the Vuelta, but we have to have feet right on the ground. I trained two and a half weeks without limitations [after the fall]... it’s little. Obviously, I have a season behind, but a stop of ten days, without training, without a bike, without doing anything. Of course the body resents. However, I am in a good, acceptable form, I feel good on the bike. I hope to grow, week after week. I think we can be optimistic, even if always with our feet based on the ground, as I have said, and focused on the important, which is in the race. And save me to the max.

 >>/37669/
anyone got info on top ganna by the way
what's he hoping to do
might be a good pick if he mixes in the sprints

 >>/37669/
I have insider knowledge about almeida because mou complained about him being healthy and back to training like 3 days after he dropped out of the tour 
but I'm not going to tell you about that

 >>/37672/
that schizo only has insider information in the sense it's all made up inside his own mind

 >>/37670/
sounds good to me
I am sure Ayuso will betray him then choke completely and abandon

 >>/37673/
what if i told you im picking ayuso and not almeida

 >>/37673/
he commented on an article whereby almeida said he was already feeling way better and is back to training while the tour was still on so this time its real 
Almeida is at 110%

 >>/37674/
if you are playing velogames on a budget then Tiberi is a good affordable all rounder

 >>/37676/
agree. he was running ok in the giro and just seemed to get some sickness which knocked him out. the real diceroll is LANDA

imagine being such a frothing goombler addict that you play every race

im gonna GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMBBBB

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fatkwabsen finished in the grupetto. didnt even realize he was here

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 >>/37679/

 >>/37680/
time to retire

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 >>/37679/

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Results.  >>/37684/

 >>/37685/
hm not bad

> autismbert the only other one with only 8 runners in the game

 >>/37687/
Destined for eachother

 >>/37676/
 >>/37677/
shan't ever pick the sociopath

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easy

 >>/37690/
no Fagundez?

 >>/37690/
over under on how many stages the vinester makes it through before eviscerating his body in an avoidable chute

 >>/37692/
is there a single downhill in this race?

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axelbert has upgraded to pictures

 >>/37690/
waar CANAL hè

 >>/37694/
captcha: click all frauds

 >>/37694/
one star for pelizzari seems low but what do i know

 >>/37690/
not too far

 >>/37370/
but why is fred going to Q30somethingsixpointfive? I don't get it.

 >>/37694/
are big matty is quite clearly ONLY engaged in LEGITIMATE consenual activities

 >>/37694/
ok, but how do I solve this captcha? what's even the question?

 >>/37699/
they're basically the new israel throwing money at every mid rider that will take it 
> harper
> dunbar
> fred
> hermans

 >>/37699/
what's weird about that?

 >>/37702/
now imagine the scenes when the ROGLIC signing hits

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ok I picked Landa, his shape didn't seem that good but I can't leave him behind

 >>/37701/
 >>/37696/

 >>/37706/
ok, it's one of those captchas where new images appear, so lots more frauds. it will take a while.

hello yes site admin i know your lurking make a captcha where you have to identify a top 500 rider by face to post, time limit five seconds or else you get tempbanned. attentionpaying must be ensured.

 >>/37708/
what picture do you use for each rider? there are riders who have given up the fight with older portraits where they still have hair.

1 jpeg
(5.37 KB, 119x180)

 >>/37708/
alright let's test

lehuithouze
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS WRONG GUESS)

 >>/37710/
legit no idea

I am not taking Jonas VINEGAR

I will only click the bogan caricatures that rusbert made

2 jpg
(5.59 KB, 119x180)

top 200 even this guy

 >>/37715/
kulset?

van-dijke-2... jpg
(4.71 KB, 120x180)

 >>/37710/
far worse possible rolls

 >>/37717/
tim, mick has the big jewfro

 >>/37716/
yes, did you know there are 4(!) kulsets

 >>/37719/
I knew there were at least 3 and only the youngest Johannes is any good

whojikstan png
(29.35 KB, 590x296)

 >>/37718/
impressive, but but what about this

 >>/37720/
it's uber nepotism
one still rides (and is okay)
one still rides (and is dogshit)
one retired last year (was dogshit)
and one retired 3 years ago and is a DS at uno x (was dogshit)

 >>/37721/
it will be the banhammer for me

 >>/37708/
I don't even know 20 riders by face its over

Capture PNG
(65.66 KB, 316x79)

 >>/37724/

 >>/37725/
why its Jermaine ZEMKE of course

> For the speculators among us: no, Van Aert will not be racing the World Championships in Gravel on October 12th in South Limburg, the Netherlands, either. "I would love to. But the date is very late. We've looked into it, but... part of our plan is to finish the season very early and get some rest a bit sooner."

> In order to, and here's the catch: "hopefully have a good winter." This is open to interpretation. Is Van Aert referring purely to his training schedule? Or is there a more extensive cyclocross program in the works? To be continued, no doubt.

this guy is such a obedient drone how can anyone like him
> just doesn't fit the plan bro

 >>/37727/
imagine if he went to gravel and got kwabbed by some unknown riders like bardet 
I mean he's used to it in road but gravel?

Capture PNG
(27.19 KB, 783x321)

 >>/37728/
brotherman

 >>/37729/
proof that american gravelleurs > wt shitters

 >>/37657/
Plowright DNDNF, he finished

forty-turd

 >>/37731/
another pcsman total hallucination