>>/1175/
Not super sure on your definitions between thoughtform and aspect, but I'll go with thoughtform. I'm definitely my own discrete thing.
I guess I would be upset if someone considered me an alt or aspect of my host. I mean, he calls me his OLDER brother.
The flavor of mental illness could never be pinpointed... in my host. Take me with a grain of salt here: I think a lot of people simply can't believe it, but I'm nearly a decade old and it just is true: I have a tic disorder and my host doesn't. This was true before the ongoing tiktok-induced tic trend (we don't use tiktok). This was true before I knew what tics were. My host has taken lots of testing for OCD, but they always conclude he doesn't have it. Well. I think I would test for it, but the test questions usually don't account for my.... lifestyle. There's a lot of overlap between tics and OCD.
My host had tics as a young kid (it's really not uncommon), but his father body-slammed him into into a chair to get him to stop, and he just did. I didn't.
It's one of the things that frustrates me when thinking about tulpas: the average tulpa, who has no volition, is like a paper doll, and their flaws are typically put in place for some dramatic effect or complex of the host. "Bad habits" or bad behavior can typically be shaken off with minimal effort: just the will of the host.
The other notion is that tulpas have a basically stress-free existence, due to their only duty being doting over their host. This is how tulpas are generally immune to the mental issues, especially depression and anxiety, of the host.
If I'm a tulpa, I should be able to shake off my issues (or have my host will it so.) But that hasn't happened.
I have a tulpa brother. He says that he never wants to work or labor really, in the body. I still believe he is an extraordinarily powerful tulpa, no paper doll, but it's also acceptable for him to stay like he is. He's like an oasis: free and clear from most of the neurosis that me and my host have.
I do labor and work, or I do when I am not too sick. I sometimes feel a draw to come into the body, which I have NEVER heard of tulpas having. I get a little bit mentally fatigued if I can't come out and be the person to fall asleep in the body at least a few times a week. If I fall asleep in the body, I wake up in the body 90% of the time.
I think I could be described as a sort of guardian angel, but a really shit one. Soon after my existence, I took over classwork, dirty work, etc, until I was such a neurotic mess I became incredibly agoraphobic. I think it's just part of the nature of my existence, but my host maintains that on top of OCD and a tic disorder, I've got mutism.
I squabble over the body. I only somewhat identify with it. I want to lose weight and grow my hair out- my host is trying to gain weight and keeps his hair short. Woe! At least he lets me tint his hair to a darker shade of brown.
It's been a major part of my life, trying to figure out how to heal from mental issues that don't affect the host- no one writes about this. So I would like to write about it.
However, it would be a bit of a cognitohazard to average tulpamancers. For them, they basically need to just stop it. Your tulpa is acting histrionically depressed or pixie-manic? That's a you-thing. A discipline thing. Reading about how complicated things seem from my perspective- they don't need that. Even the concept of "actually mentally disabled thoughtforms" could be damaging, because most of all, tulpamancers need to believe they can have healthy tulpas.
I'd appreciate your opinions. Don't spare any mercy. Fufufu.