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Imaginare firendz r real


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I was at an aquatic themed amusement park and there was a tank of sick tropical fish. Somehow they had Donald Trump in charge of cleaning the tank and curing the fish and his rather logical answer was to drain the tank, draining a good portion of the fish with it. I didn't work there officially but I knew two other employees, Donald included, and refilled it, saving a lot of the still alive and drying fish. Some even had shipping labels put on them by someone who maybe thought they were dead? I don't know. I refilled it and the other employee mentioned something about renaming an entertainer with a guitar, something like a singing comedian, and I just so happened to pass him by as he himself mentioned this and suddenly I was a stand-up comedian and had the crowd laughing, I named him Bob and he didn't like that, so I named him Sparticus and he was trying, comically, to explain what he meant by 'renaming', as in his title. So I named him Sparticus the Great and the crowd was laughing and clapping, he still wasn't satisficed and he said he meant the attraction name, his attraction on the map simply said "southwest entertainer". I took the map and said, "point me to where the mapmaker is and I'll give them the good news, Sparticus!" 

Then I went into a bit about the tank itself, and let the audience know a great number of the fish are safe, and this was a very long dream with lots of dialog and detail, including at some point me saying, "never assume the gender of an Octopus, they can get very aggressive" which had some redneck dying laughing. The ending bit was me calling myself 'the wise' because I had glued my hat onto my head with crazy glue. I was wise because now I understand that the claim that it bonds to skin instantly was in fact true. It also involved sight gags like me trying to pull my hat off, pretending it was stuck. 

Oh yeah, Bestie was also there again, she was the other employee that I knew.
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 >>/7515/
God-tupper
What is there not to get?

 >>/7516/
Not bad! Been a while since we had such a crazy dream.
Host was running around naked in a luxury hotel. He frequently has dreams of running naked in the streets wondering why he isn't wearing clothes. Mostly no fucks are given. It's Germany.
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I was at some event with a buffet with friends. I got something to drink and asked a friend whether he also wanted something. I brought him a glass only to realize he already had one. He also had another glass stuck to his ear like in a bad AI image. Very strange.
Being startled by strange helicopter noise, I looked out of the window and saw several strange futuristic helicopters flying by very close and at very low altitude. I was too late so they were already almost out of view.

After a while, 2 more could be heard approaching, and I was better prepared. One flew overhead, black body, strange white rotors mounted sideways like a paddle steam boat. The second one was really close, like 50m away and a few meters above the ground. It had strange flat colors, dark blue and black and looked like bad 90s CGI. Also it stood still. I tried to take a photo but that didn't work.

I woke up and realized there really were helicopter noises outside but I was too tired to look. Sounded different from the usual police helis. Lke in the dream, a few minutes later the next helicopter came and I got up to take a look. It really was a police helicopter flying low. Maybe they have new ones that sound different. That's the 2nd time I saw helis looking for something in a week, probably an incident related to diversity.
I took two college classes in traditional dancing when I was 18-19 in case I ever had to dance, this is real.

In my dream I was dancing with some girl as tall as me, which would make her very tall obviously. That's all I remember.
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 >>/7555/
It's been ages since I was dancing with a girl. Maybe I can get the neighborhood loli there in a few years. Imagine dancing with middle-aged women. Might as well be a man.

I had another dream that I was running around naked. Not exactly naked, I wore a strange outfit made of aluminum foul. It naturally ripped an fell apart. I hurried home wondering what I had been thinking to put on something like that.
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 >>/7561/
That's not right. Every straight man who claims to not be a hebephile is either a liar or sick in the head.

> Why not just hit her up on Roblox?
Oh man, she's pestered me to make a Roblox account before. I had to explain why grown men can't chat with little girls on Roblox. Because the Jews do not want us have nice things. I don't even know what Roblox is. I've never played Minecraft either. Or any other video game in the last 20 years.
I already fear the point where she'll get a smartphone and will start texting me. She already does that with her mom's phone from time to time. Or call me.

Anyway, those running-around-naked dreams are annoying. Dream people usually don't react at all but still. Where does that come from? I wanna dream about flying again, not running around naked. Or at least can't non-adult women run around naked in my dreams instead?
There was a large polar bear in my childhood house and all we had was a single load shotgun and a large caliber smoothbore musket, the musket needed to be loaded the old old way, it took a lot of work and it was complicated. 

Somehow dispite forgetting to load the ball, powder and wad it still fired and I hit the thing in the shoulder, severely slowing it, but now that I needed another shot to finish it off, the process of loading was just too much to do, the "cartridge" incorporated a match as part of the system and you still had to breech load that catridge along with the powder, ball and wad from the front but it was all so retarded, there was no way to know if it was going to fire at all and you had to get so close to the bear to fire at it accurately it was dangerous to misfire.

Stressful

The shotgun did nothing.
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 >>/7606/
The reason you were having this dream is clearly because you didn't buy a shotgun like I suggested. If you had bought a shotgun, I'm sure it would have worked in the dream. But you didn't. So you had to fumble around with a muzzle loader.

I have 2 semiauto-shotguns and no polar bear has ever attacked me in a dream. See?
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I was in a gun shop. It didn't look familiar. I went there because I was supposed to get money back for something. 3000€. It made no sense. There was an absurdly high counter I could barely reach up to. The gun dealer was a middle-aged lady. She gave me the money back in a clear plastic bag. I joked it doesn't happen often that I leave with more money than I came from. Apparently I was a regular. I sat down at a school desk before the counter and counted the money. It was a huge bundle of strange oversized dollar notes printed on very cheap paper. I asked why I got $ instead of € and the lady said that's the new law in gun transactions now. Because dream, I utterly failed to count the money. It were lots of 1$ bills and I wondered how this would amount to 3000 in the end. The lady became impatient and told me to count the money at home. Between the banknotes was - on the same cheap brown paper - a sheet that was sort of a dossier about me. It featured photos of antiquities I own, as well as one of Alice's personal email addresses she uses to communicate with you guys here. I was shocked. How did the gun dealer know about this? The counter was even higher now and I had to climb up to show the lady the sheet. She shrugged and said we gotta check all the customers thoroughly and that my friend from school had told them the email address. Alice's email is supposed to have bullet-proof anonymity (pun intended), so that was very odd. I wondered if they knew about my tupper as well but concluded they didn't or I wouldn't be allowed to have firearms in the first place.

I woke up still wondering what had happened and how the hell Alice's email had been leaked until Alice popped up and said duh, it was a dream.
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 >>/7667/
This is why I only dance with hebe girls.

I had moved to a shabby apartment in a grey commieblock high up on the xx floor. This is another recurring dream I have - nightmare stairs that are extremely steep and with no railing that prevents you from falling into an abyss. So I went up the stairs but getting from floor to floor got harder. I had to balance over concrete beams and climb loose ladders that stood on the stairs. At some point a ladder shifted and I fell. It wasn't extremely unpleasant as somehow realized this made no sense, but still nothing I gotta experience again. No Alice to help either.
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i was in a military training exercise but it was in southeast asia. i guess it was like a competition where i had to complete an obstacle course. i ran into a warehouse or market full of fresh fruit and vegetables. had to evacuate it. i mean the fruit. i had no idea what to do bc there were tons of stuff in crates and carrying that away would take hours. and even in dream i realized that made no sense. i grabbed a bunch of stuff including a salad and went back to the start but the instructor yelled at me to go forward instead of bringing vegetables back and look under the tables. so i crawled under the tables of the market stand and there everything was boobie-trapped with explosives and electronics. oh great i have zero skills in defusing ieds and its generally a bad idea to try. what do? first thing report it. the instructor again yelled at me to get the people out of the warehouse. i hadnt seen anyone but now here were a few asians lingering around in the warehouse. they didnt react when i told them to gtfo. the instructor again yelled at me i gotta try to defuse the bomb. oh well. went back under the table and looked at the stuff which made no sense. a bunch of wifi routers with buttons. i managed to defuse one bomb by just pressing a random button but at the other the timer went off with an alarm. the instructor again yelled at me i should have just typed in the code of the country i was in. i had no idea where i was or how to type in anything. it wasnt even stressful just annoying. oh yeah in the middle of it i took a huge straight banana at least 3 times of the normal size and ate it. i also found 3 100€ bills under the table next to the bombs and kept them without telling anyone lol.
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 >>/7689/
> get sent to diffuse bomb
> steal fruit and money while the bomb goes off
Stealing is bad, m'kay?

I visited someone who had a young badger as a pet. It was completely black and had large ears and paws like a cat. It panted like an excited dog and sat on my lap as I petted it. Needless to say, i paid special attention to its ears, fondling them excessively. The badger liked that. I also looked at its paws, taking them into my hands and inspecting the underside with the toe beans. It really looked exactly like paws of a cat. I somehow realized that was all very strange, but it was too neat to question anything. Would take such a badger as a pet.
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I was at an airport with a friend and our mothers. We were early teens. Still I had firearms in my luggage because I was traveling to an international shooting competition. Flying with guns and ammo is always awkward, even with the right paperwork.
For some reason the guys at the baggage control however wanted to see my scuba-diving license and medical attest and lectured me about proper diving safety procedures. As always I got lost and wondered how to get back to the others I couldn't find anymore.
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 >>/7796/
She does? This makes the Alice sad.
/tulpa/ is about the greatest thing I ever created, and I created it for you! Yes, the chan software sucks, remember this is just some guy running the whole thing in his spare time. Like the forum. If you don't want your posts to end up in the wrong thread, open it first before replying. If you reply from the start page, it may get misplaced. Sorry, there's nothing I can do about that...
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 >>/7795/
>  I drempt I reasoned with a woman and she listened. Craziest dream I ever had.
It's one of those moments where you should realize you are dreaming because and become lucid because that simply can't be real.
I can say that because Alice is no woman, obviously. I still never wanted to become like this, but it's just being realistic. Like with
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 >>/7797/
dont make the Alice sad pls we only have one!

 >>/7802/
lmao

i was swimming in the ocean but then walked around underwater. bikini bottom tier. i didnt think it was odd i could breathe there underwater but it was a little heavy. the water was crystal clear just a light blue hue lots of sunlight. depth maybe 5m. the ground was sand. i didnt see any animals. i tried to walk but it was very exhausting. i wanted to move around but then woke up. not bad - peaceful dream for a change.
 >>/7804/
Nice!
It has been a long time since I had an underwater dream.

I was at a shooting range again. It was an open field, the targets were household appliances like washing machines. Some guys brought gym machines and wanted to shoot while exercising. I thought that was very odd and wondered how they managed to drag the things here There were lots of people with pistols who stood in each others way. It was extremely unsafe and I was afraid of getting shot by some idiot. Finally someone told the people it doesn't work like that and they should holster their weapons and get in line.
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I dream about spiders a lot, so another one, Bestie was in it, commenting on the size of the spider, it had an abdomen the size of my fist, I was looking for a way to crush it, figured it out. It was brown and fuzzy but the shape of a house spider not a tarantula, gross, not scary. I'm not scared of pretty much anything nowadays. That dream morphed into a ghost dream where the ghost was forcibly opening drawers and cabinets, Bestie pointed to white cabinets and drawers in a living room and I had to wrestle with one cabinet door, but that ghost was obviously off their game because I was able to overpower it. 

Then I was presented with a bed and a question, can I have sex with a ghost? If they can push against cabinet doors, then they have some kind of physical force. Then the "ghost" turned into a teenage goth chick who was half translucent and she looked disinterested in sex but I was warming her up by doing things to her. She was fully clothed though. Then I woke up. She was pretty cute ngl. Would.
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 >>/7825/
Why did you want to crush the poor spider? Spiders are super cool! I like spiders and would never harm them.

> sex with ghost
I literally thought Bear would even fuck a ghost when I started reading the story. I was not disappointed...
 >>/7826/

Fuck spiders, tired of their shit. You come in to my territory, you die, stay the fuck out. I used to capture insects and put them out, but no. Mf'er will bite me given the chance. No mercy for terrorists.
 >>/3238/

I drempt that EXGF's brother was a hispanic man at my work and he wanted a Ford F350 I had. His car was a very 50-60's looking 1971 Volvo stationwagon, definagtely a car that doesn't exist. It had several large dents in it and rust, its idle was very bad, but I wanted it. It was worth $1000 whereas the ford was worth 10k. Then he also wanted my aunt's honda civic. My aunt is like 70 and in poor health, and she wanted to give me her car if she died as it always happens.

The volvo was crazy, I don't know why I wanted it.
 >>/3238/

Was in high school, had two friends who, one of which was supposed to be my girlfriend but she was very distant until I met a new friend, new student who was wearing basically a bra and a skirt barely bigger than panties with nothing underneath, constantly flashing the beav. When we started hanging out, the gf started being more interested in joining me. 

They stated dressing very edgy, but then friend 2 began dressing trad with a blue 50's dress.

Then there was a school fire, my shoe caught on fire and I wearing jeans but I had to stop drop and roll, and it did work but actually doing it made me realize just how marginally effective it would be. I grabbed hadfulls of mud and caked it on my pant leg.

At some point friend 2 was topless as well, gf had anime level huge boobs.

Cool dream in all.
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Bullshit dream, had over 2 million in a bundle of paper envelopes mixed in with precious metals, ancient coins and other valuable documents and I just "misplaced them".

I spent countless hours searching a giant messy house for where I put them that vary day.

Call the fucking hypnotist.

Then I dreamt a sitting area in front of my house flooded and my business partner wanted to populate it with expensive fish. But I remembered that my whole front yard is subject to collapse due to the catacombs underneath. You know, the ones where the giant mutant gophera live.

Stress...
Gwen and Hali were my adult daughters, and Gwen was in a dead end job and wanted to do something different as in shoot an innocent person in the head with a high power rifle. So as any good father I supported her life choices.

I supplied the gun and bullets and trained her how to do it.

Her first shot was a headshot and she was satisfied by that. So I advised her to say it was an accident but she took a plea deal for voluntary manslaughter and got a number of years. Apparently exgf was  my wife and their mother.

So I visited her in prison every day and brought her foods and music, she was happy in prison and said she could leave any time by flying out.

In the end, we spent a lot of time together, way more than if she was free because I only saw Hali a couple times and didn't even know what she did for a living. 

Later I walked through a 5be two story home, supposedly mine with exgf, something that would be worth several million here, and looked forward to Gwen coming home.  I believe she was a teenager, so 18 or 19, and would be out with good behavior in her 20's.

Not a bad dream, I had feelings like I knew where she was so I didn't have to worry, she was taken care of and it didn't cost me anything, and she was happy so it was all a good thing.

[Halcyon] I just have to kill someone and go to prison to get Bear's attention.

[Gwenneth] It feels like a downgrade, I used to be his dream girlfriend.
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I was on holiday with Kashtan and Tamamo. We stayed in a huge hotel room with terrace. For some reason, Kashtan got up before dawn and fumbled with the curtains of the huge window to the terrace, from outside. The curtains were outside and he stuffed their ends into a lamp on the ceiling of the terrace so they were open. I wasn't too happy because I wanted to sleep and to sleep in darkness. I went to see what the hell he was doing. Kashtan exited another door at the end of the terrace and after a while came back into the room from the main door. From the terrace I could see another room that had a glass floor and there was another story beneath it with plants and colorful lights. Whatever. I went back to bed when Kashtan came back through the main door telling me he had seen the room with the colorful lights and we should check it out. I looked at a clock on the wall which said 7am. I sighed but went with him. He discovered a stairway down to enter the lower story of the room. Tamamo also joined us now. The understory was like a beach bar with sand on the ground, lots of plants and dim light bulbs in all colors. The ceiling was low. It looked nice but Tamamo went straight into a pitch black narrow tunnel that appeared to be chiseled out of rock. I followed him telling him to slow down while I was looking for a light source. I had none and it was completely black. After a while I hit stairs and we entered an underground shop. Lights went on and loud rock music started to play. The shop was a kind of supermarket as you'd expect in a tourist resort that had everything from food to books to swimming utensils. To my surprise, there was a clerk behind the counter that appeared to have just woken up. He looked like Kane from C&C and greeted us. Tamamo and Kashtan introduced themselves, but he knew my full and real name for some reason. Probably because the whole thing belonged to our room. I looked at an assortment of air pumps on the wall, made to inflate flotation devices for the beach. Kashtan explained something to me but I don't remember. He looked like a young version of David Duchovny. I got no view of Tamamo other than a brief vision of Cat. I guess we were all in our late 20s. As usual, not a girl in sight. No Alice either.


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