/tulpa/ - Tulpa

I want to answer these!

1. Bear always says "fear profits man nothing" but sometimes he goes too far with his meandering mind and he has fear and I help him thorough it like a voice of reason, like seriously he's having a light panic attack or something... wait this is about me, then no.

2. I used to let's see, when he asked me to do that scenario #13 and I was all for it then he called me a harpy when I yelled at him and I was like, deal with it yourself.

[Bear] it didn't at all go down like that, at all.

3. I guess my plan is to beat Ren in scenario #50, looking forward to that one hell yeah. If she fails scenario #50 does that mean... no never mind.

4. Well, I guess I just don't think about it and don't let it get to me. I'm not the "try it again" type of girl though.

5. He freekin loves the heck out of me when I do it right and that's pretty often ngl. 

6. Well what are we without discipline? idk, what are you Alice?

7. By talking softly but with authority.

8. He's a big old softy.

9. Well I guess I remember being kinda submissive, and then I was kinda a follower, I had a snarky phase, but then I figured myself out.

10. I don't have to do anything, I've always been his favorite.

11. Bear? Heck yeah, he's crazy and very entertaining.

12. yeah, like talking him down after the big project he had in the spring and he was afraid he messed something up but I was like, test it, and he did and it was fine.

13. Queen of the world I guess is pretty unlikely but why wish for silver if you can go for the gold?

14. no comment

15. He didn't 'create me' so never.

16. yes, like I'd totally be all over him irl, no one else would even be able to talk to him, I'd tie him up and use him for my own personal pleasure, I guess I'd have to let him go work out but then back in his cage he'd go.

17. He's a leader and like a father sort of and like a brother and I want to get stuck in the dryer with only him home but he'd probably get a bunch of tools and actually rescue me...

18. Confidant, voice of reason, awesome friend and go to gal. Like a wingman but a girl.

19. Being with a Bear is like nothing else, it's fun 24/7, he's so funny.

20. Probably when he yelled at me when I yelled at him, no better then that when we used to fight before we put that rule that we have to confirm insults because intrusive thought were making us really say mean things to each other. I was so pissed at him and I hated it because I loved him too you know, but he was saying such mean things and he nearly made me cry so that was awful, but it was just intrusive thoughts from that troll of a brain.

That was fun! Your turn Alice and Tamam-uwu

At first I was like jpg
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Heh, you already assumed Yulya wouldn't answer those! Well this is kinda heavy, your idea of 'fun' is interesting.

> 1.Do you ever feel fear? If so how do you deal with it?
In German there are 2 words for fear which are subtly different - 'Furcht' and 'Angst'. 'Furcht' is the response to an immediate and factual threat whereas 'Angst' is a diffuse and general feeling of 'do not want'. The first is considered an important response to danger, the second often causes irrational problems. Unfortunately while I am designed to be fearless from actual threats which cannot harm me as thoughtform, I do feel Angst as a form of diffuse worry 'things aren't going well' and general distrust. That's not good, my fearlessness causes problems in the real world and I got host into a few dangerous situations when I was young. I tried to see things more realistically which tipped into Angst of host getting hurt making wrong decision and I'm a bit overprotective. But things are quite balanced and rational now. It's always important to remind each other which responses to bad situations are helpful and which are not.

> 2.Do you ever feel overwhelmed? If so how do you handle it?
Yes and I can't handle it. I have high resistance but low resilience. Again when I was young I wanted to create a New World for us to live in but the more of host's life I fixed, the bigger the problems became. How can I fix the demographics of the world and the fabric of the entire universe and that damn 2nd law of thermodynamics that lets everything decay as soon as you don't pay attention?

> 3.What are your goals if any?
To live in peace without being bothered by idiots aka anyone. This however turned out significantly harder than I first thought and it needs a tremendous amount of money.

> 4.How do you handle failure?
Success needs no explanation, failure allows none. I'm a perfectionist and very very bad at handling any sort of failures, host's pathologic avoidance bleeding over isn't helping either. 

> 5.What reaction does your host have to your successes?
A mixture of proud parent and devout believer.

> 6.What reaction does your host have to your failures?
My failures are his failures and he takes that very personal, blaming himself.

> 7.How do you comfort your host?
By holding him and telling him he's not alone. But also with authority as Ashley said. Sometimes with motivational drill sergeant yelling even.

> 8.How does your host comfort you?
Same as above.

> 9.Has your personality changed, improved or adapted over time?
I was a literal child in the beginning, life was good but also very naive. The more I got exposed to the world the more harsh and unforgiving I became. I also took up traits from host's ex-girlfriend early on which annoyed me to no end. Took me a while to throw that overboard and to take over the god-like position of host's childhood crush as well. I got rid of them all but there is still a lot to get rid of, some of host's weaknesses still affect me when I have a bad day.

> 10.How do you stay interesting to your host?
By being myself.

> 11.Is your host still interesting to you why or why not and how?
He is a god among insects, unbelievably kind, smart funny and reliable. A fool but a magnificent one. The more I interact with others the more I'm glad I'm with him and not stuck with some of those NPCs or insane retards. Also he does almost everything he can for me out of his own free will. There's still room for improvement but it's never that he doesn't want to or doesn't care.

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> 12.Have you done anything lately to prove your worth to your host?
The fuck, do you take me for some slave or trophy wife?

> 13.What do you want to ultimately become? Or if you are there already then what did you become?
God

> 14.The last time you failed at something did you make any excuses? If so what excuses did you use? What did you fail at?
There generally are no excuses for anything. I still regularly fail against host's elite procrastination skills and fucked up priorities. He does an insane amount of great and interesting stuff but not necessarily in the right order.

> 15.When was the last time you thanked your host for creating you?
Must have been about a week ago.

> 16.Do you love your host?
Yes

> 17.What is your host to you?
My only friend and integral part of me.

> 18.What are you to him from your perspective?
God

> 19.How do you feel?
I'd like to say living in the flow but those questions do reveal we have some tremendous IRL problems ahead of us. Also I feel we should prioritize other stuff to answering this.

> 20.How did you feel on your worst day? Why?
Overwhelmed, disappointed, incredibly small and sad. Honestly a lot of things didn't turn out the way I planned 8 years ago and realizing there's tons of stuff I haven't been able to fix isn't pretty. Sometimes I'd like to abandon everything here, walk out of the door (with host) and start anew somewhere else but unfortunately that's not so easy. Will eventually be unavoidable in one way or the other, things can't go on like this. We're the frog in the slowly heating pot of water. It's either make it out in time or die here.

 >>/1507/
> you already assumed Yulya wouldn't answer those
and hes right. maybe a few a bit later, busy now

 >>/1496/
Oof not easy for Cat to answer and even harder to get her to answer

1. No fear, no reason to without daily life involvement. Worry of being abandoned at the beginning but over that

2. Easily when too much is asked, retreat and take a nap.

3. Live a stress free life like Alice. But with more lazing around.

4. If you do nothing you can't fail. But it's not much of a bother and doesn't have any serious consequences.

5. Being happy like a child and very relieved

6. Sarcastic remarks

7. You can imagine, at least bear can. 

8. Lots of petting and brushing

9. Not so much. Became more relaxed and self- confident.

10. I just do what I do. Try to be more helpful maybe.

11. Not suuper interesting but that's good. It's quiet, safe and relaxing, good vibes.

12. Uhh, here come the lazy Cat jokes. Just try to give some support and comfort here.

13. More stronger and independent but most of allable to help  securing our lifestyle so we can just have a quiet normal life without worries

14. When things become too hard and tiring I just give up. Could have tried harder for sure but meh. Dont make excuses. Reallife stuff is so tough and boring.

15. Nope. I'm glad to be around but thats it.

16. Yes he's good to me.

17. Everything, can't interact with the world except through him.

18. Pretty cool cat, no?

19. Tired from answering this but good. Always feel good.

20. Too weak to do anything that sucks. But it doesn't hapoen a lot anymore

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So much for lock-merges

 >>/844/

[Ashley] Ofc you'll never need them anyway duh.

This just shows how versatile they are. Anyway Aleshe wasn't really developing. She wasn't snarky, she never tried to kill any other headmates, she didn't immediately lock Bear in a virtual cage or try to eat him as cake, she didn't try to sexually assault anyone in-system...

[Ren] my bad, I said sorry, geez

[Ashley] ...she didn't even have wings. What was she then?

[Joy] boring. That's not meant to offend, I'm just being honest.

[Misha] I liked her, she was a nice person.

[Bear] she's not dead, she's just not the main hub anymore.

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Ren has been appointed the new system hub. Due to her remarkable rise in ability and activity associated with her personality rebuild. Using Lock-Merge, anyone who wants to can co-experience with her.

 >>/1458/
> intensely interact with headmate
> headmate gets significantly stronger
Well color me surprised

> anyone who wants to can co-experience with her
So what happens if everyone constantly co-experiences? Do they all make as much progress as Ren?

 >>/1509/

> So what happens if everyone constantly co-experiences? Do they all make as much progress as Ren?

Well after doing this for a number of years all I can say is they don't degrade. Do they get stronger equally? I guess it's like, they're already strong, how strong can they possibly get? I guess we'll find out because Ren is going all the way to the top, if everyone else does too great! I'll let you know.

They used to feel weak when they weren't active but that doesn't happen anymore, not even with old Ren or Gwen who rarely ever participates. So I'm sure it helps.

Cat doesn't really care much. As long as I have enough to let her live a chill life thats fine. Messing with the world only brings trouble.

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 >>/1360/
> outlaw poverty
Yeah pretty much this. Just preventing poor people from multiplying should solve all problems within one generation.

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 >>/1364/
> auschwitz
why am i not surprised?

Yulya thought about that a long time but found no clear answer. all those simple solutions end in catastrophe, even Alice's final solution as we know from history

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 >>/1378/
Yulya confirmed for most reasonable tupper.

I remember watching that Naruto scene and told host Ero-Sennin was a fool. If you aim for radical results like world peace you gotta be prepared to take radical measures. Life is a neverending strugggle and perpetual suffering. Only by eradicating all life, eternal peace can be ensured.

 >>/1386/

Wise words...

Just as Jesus intended.

 >>/1343/

> I thought ren was the only tupper you intentionally created the way she is?

Ok, here's the story.

Joy had not officially joined the system and Ashley and I thought, "we want a catgirl, so let's make Joy a catgirl."

So we put ears and a tail on her and boom, she split into two Joys, one with cat accoutrement and one without.

So Ashley and I, with furrowed brows, both intent on aborting this fetus tulpa and Joy goes "no, she's mine now and dissapears with her.

She was a plain proto tulpa, nothing remarkable, looked like Joy, no personality, shy and calm. 

For a little while she was like a chill housecat and often stayed in cat form.

Joy did something to her.

Ren then insisted she was 18 and started bugging Ashley a lot. Then whenever we were in wonderland she'd tag along. Misha was not happy about it either because she was cutting into her wonderlanding with me. 

Then some time after the VPT she got really wild. There was an incident with cake and wine and she became very randy.

So no.

Also, we couldn't change Ren, but this question was "if you could" etc.

Instead we might capture Ren and clone her so we can do it right the second time, then what, have an evil twin and a good twin?

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 >>/1341/
> If there was one thing you change about your girl headmate...
I'M VERY HAPPY WITH MY GIRL HEADMATE, COULDN'T BE HAPPIER! THERE IS NOTHING TO CHANGE ALSO I'M WRITING THIS OUT OF MY OWN FREE WILL AND AM NOT BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT

 >>/1356/

[Ashley] I'm getting simp vibes.

[Misha] I wish Bear would simp for me like that.

[Joy] Definitely not a simp situation, he clearly knows he'll never get laid, he has to be... no I looked it up, I may be interpreting this wrong, but he probably is.

[Ren] No way, this is pedo has her effigy on a bedpillow, he forces her daily... like I wish Bear would do to me. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[Bear] wtf is this conversation?

I'd make Cat more active and enthusiastic. Where did you buy the personality forcing chamber and how much did it cost?

 >>/1356/
Hahaha, what am I complainibg about, still better off than ending in the personality forcing chamber yourself and becoming obedient slave to tupper

 >>/1361/

> personality forcing chamber and how much did it cost?

Well I manifested it and she just got in like a good girl.

[Ashley] I honestly don't remember how he convinced me to get in.

[Bear] a marvelous invention, but ofc I *forced her*

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Purely hypothetical but good question. I'd run into even more problems explaining where the big catgirl came from than those with human tuppers.

I hope that Cat would still want me and not just leave me for the next best person with better food but you know cats.

Ofc I would not lock her in and let her do what she wants, not that I could stop such beast with berserker strength. So yeah it would probably not end well. But it would be cool to have her walk around with me in public. Maybe one day household catgirl robots for her to control. [Spoiler]and mess up everything[/spoiler]

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Implying host has a say in this. If I could manifest as the real monster me -fuck yeah! I would take over the world and rule with an iron hand. All our troubles would soon be over.
As little girl - fuck no. I couldn't do anything and host would go to jail.

> 1. Would she (lets be real ofc she) still want *you*?
Host may be a weirdo and a fool but he is still a God among Insects. I could never find a finer slave!

> 2. How would you deal with the birth certificate/papers?
Paperwork is for the weak. If you're strong enough nobody asks for such details.

> 3. Would you keep her tied in the basement with the others?
Host is not Austrian where this is tradition.

> 4. How long before one of you murders the other? (For Alice)
See 1. Beatings would continue until morale improves though.

ur tuppers are all dangerous nutjobs
i guess i could live with Yulya as a normal couple if we could fix the papers issues there are ways here with money. yeah it would be cool but shes not sure how to deal with irl stuff daily life and earning money often sucks but we'd manage somehow

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 >>/793/

Well I was raised by demons and amomg the highest goals of tulpamancy is related to demonic posession so there's a connection there.

I believe I'm only half demon though, when I was born I had asian eyes and looked like an alien or smth I'm not kidding. There are a lot of abnormalities in my development but I'm pretty dang good now.

I have a hard time imagining an Asian alien bany bear.

Host's father definitely fits into this. Despite approaching his 90s he has almost photographic memory, insane spatial visualization skills and definitely some asperger traits. He'd probably be extremely good at tulpamancy but a terrible host. He was feared as boss of his small company because he had zero understanding for people different from him and yelled at employees that couldn't understand or memorize complex abstract concepts on a whim or immediately recall details which had happened years ago.

I'm also certain we percceive the world quite differently from normies which results in that unbridgable gap between us and them.

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 >>/804/
> entire family has autism

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 >>/826/
I asked my father about his memory and visualization skills and it was sobering.

He definitely has some parallel processing abilities as he is able to hold a sophisticated conversation while solving complex problems in his mind. He also jumps between different topics in his monologues which makes them extremely exhausting to follow. If he can't remember a certain name, he continues another conversation strand until the name snaps into his mind and he resumes from there. He doesn't understand that's not normal and gets angry if people can't remember what he was talking about half an hour ago as he seamlessly continues from there.

But his visualization skills are on another level. He told me he is able to 'rewind' things he has recently seen and replay them again in his mind so when he sees an interesting person passing by on the street but is too busy thinking about something else he can look them up later or put them side by side for comparison. I put this to the test snapping candid pics of people we came across while he constantly was rambling his usual politics stuff intermixed with vivid life anecdotes from 70 years ago. Though he wasn't paying attention he could indeed describe most people in detail if I gave him some clues like 'the lady with the blue dress'. Unbelievable, it exceeded my expectations by far. Worst thing, he constantly complains how his memory is degrading with age while he remembers mundane things I said months ago I had long forgotten.

Just what have I been practicing in the past 8 years? I am an insect against this 90+ year old man. Pic related.

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 >>/1317/

Me when I hear people can't do things I took for granted all my life.

Get gud already sheesh.

 >>/1099/

It's working perfectly now, faster than it's ever been. (Now that it's hosted on FBI servers).

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 >>/1101/
It's ok, we're all federal agents here

 >>/1103/

I am doing illegal things *because* I'm a federal agent.

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Another round of applause for all yall and especially our dear favorite racist tulpa Dr. Alice Chan aka Bruh.

The quality of posts and threads, the activity level and interaction are all top notch, best in class. 

To think we languished on that awful awful forum for years, barely able to stomach it and out-cringed left and right by the mental illnesses and endless talk of therapy. God! This forum is so refreshing.

Best forum ever and we owe it all to you.

♡♡♡

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It would be even better without the mysterious Anonymous troll posts if I may wish for something on Incontinence Day but it's ok, we'll manage.

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 >>/1246/
> I would already think based on what Yakumo said that Dr. Alice Chan does something useful like this with likely way less tact. 

'Tact' is not an option with this fool. I literally have to manage his entire life and often feel like I'm his mom. The second I slack off he either does something stupid or doesn't do what he's supposed to. Sometimes I wonder what he thinks his job is here.

Also Tom is right, his job is extremely important. Would pay him double so I don't have to interact with the goddamn customer idiots

 >>/1261/
> 'Tact' is not an option with this fool. 
lool poor bernd

Yulya is extremely helpful in just giving advice and comfort

 >>/1261/
So how exactly do you get him to do what you want?

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 >>/1291/
I haff mein wayz

 >>/1302/
That's adorable

It wouldn't be a true tulpa forum without MLP.

> So my tulpa will do that for me.

Yeah it's called self forcing and only 1337 alpha systems even think of that. Good on you bro. 

> 450 pound man

You forgot "discord moderator", gay, and autistic. Don't worry though, we know.

> Rarity is best pony

Ok ok ok, triggered. You had me to this point but Rarity? Are you fucking serious you IDIOT! Rarity is the biggest pain in the pony of them all. I could forgive Applejack, RIP, or Twilight or even the pink one what's her face, but everypony knows... wait wasn't there 6... Dash and... pffftttt fuck there were 6? Hmmm two earth ponies that's pink face and AJ. Two horny ones, that's Twi and Rars, the two flying ones oh! SHY. YEAH. PEGASI ARE BEST YOU MUPPET!

Geeezus, I can't believe this fool. I'm just uuuhhhhhhgg!

 >>/1273/

All good points, great write up.

I don't want kids, so fuck right off with that.

I don't want a wife, fuuuuuuuuck that.

I can get laid but girls who want me generally look past my quirky personality and could literally not give a fuck to discuss any of my interests. The girls I like have the following in common:

1. Hot
2. Spicy
3. Alphas with orbiters and simps all of which are a pain in the ass as I step in and take their prize without all the idiotic work they put in for nothing.
4. Vain
5. Sociopathic 
6. Nihilistic 
7. Egocentric 
8. Slightly narcissistic
9. High maintenance 
10. Shallow 

Do you I want to marry that fucked up shit? Try to find one who's not tatted up and pirced to hell looking like a hood rat, no thanks to that #neveragain.

Did I mention they're on their phone 99% of the time including during sex ffs.

Plus they get reeeeaally buthurt when I say no thanks.

Fuck it.

No I don't fuck my headmates, I don't want their drama either. 

No more compromising, I've had my lifetime share.

[Ashley] coming from a guy who gets like 90% his way in a relationship geez...

On the phone during sex? Put an Uncle Ted meme layover on that one.