/tulpa/ - Tulpa

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Purely hypothetical but good question. I'd run into even more problems explaining where the big catgirl came from than those with human tuppers.

I hope that Cat would still want me and not just leave me for the next best person with better food but you know cats.

Ofc I would not lock her in and let her do what she wants, not that I could stop such beast with berserker strength. So yeah it would probably not end well. But it would be cool to have her walk around with me in public. Maybe one day household catgirl robots for her to control. [Spoiler]and mess up everything[/spoiler]

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Implying host has a say in this. If I could manifest as the real monster me -fuck yeah! I would take over the world and rule with an iron hand. All our troubles would soon be over.
As little girl - fuck no. I couldn't do anything and host would go to jail.

> 1. Would she (lets be real ofc she) still want *you*?
Host may be a weirdo and a fool but he is still a God among Insects. I could never find a finer slave!

> 2. How would you deal with the birth certificate/papers?
Paperwork is for the weak. If you're strong enough nobody asks for such details.

> 3. Would you keep her tied in the basement with the others?
Host is not Austrian where this is tradition.

> 4. How long before one of you murders the other? (For Alice)
See 1. Beatings would continue until morale improves though.

ur tuppers are all dangerous nutjobs
i guess i could live with Yulya as a normal couple if we could fix the papers issues there are ways here with money. yeah it would be cool but shes not sure how to deal with irl stuff daily life and earning money often sucks but we'd manage somehow

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 >>/793/

Well I was raised by demons and amomg the highest goals of tulpamancy is related to demonic posession so there's a connection there.

I believe I'm only half demon though, when I was born I had asian eyes and looked like an alien or smth I'm not kidding. There are a lot of abnormalities in my development but I'm pretty dang good now.

I have a hard time imagining an Asian alien bany bear.

Host's father definitely fits into this. Despite approaching his 90s he has almost photographic memory, insane spatial visualization skills and definitely some asperger traits. He'd probably be extremely good at tulpamancy but a terrible host. He was feared as boss of his small company because he had zero understanding for people different from him and yelled at employees that couldn't understand or memorize complex abstract concepts on a whim or immediately recall details which had happened years ago.

I'm also certain we percceive the world quite differently from normies which results in that unbridgable gap between us and them.

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 >>/804/
> entire family has autism

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 >>/826/
I asked my father about his memory and visualization skills and it was sobering.

He definitely has some parallel processing abilities as he is able to hold a sophisticated conversation while solving complex problems in his mind. He also jumps between different topics in his monologues which makes them extremely exhausting to follow. If he can't remember a certain name, he continues another conversation strand until the name snaps into his mind and he resumes from there. He doesn't understand that's not normal and gets angry if people can't remember what he was talking about half an hour ago as he seamlessly continues from there.

But his visualization skills are on another level. He told me he is able to 'rewind' things he has recently seen and replay them again in his mind so when he sees an interesting person passing by on the street but is too busy thinking about something else he can look them up later or put them side by side for comparison. I put this to the test snapping candid pics of people we came across while he constantly was rambling his usual politics stuff intermixed with vivid life anecdotes from 70 years ago. Though he wasn't paying attention he could indeed describe most people in detail if I gave him some clues like 'the lady with the blue dress'. Unbelievable, it exceeded my expectations by far. Worst thing, he constantly complains how his memory is degrading with age while he remembers mundane things I said months ago I had long forgotten.

Just what have I been practicing in the past 8 years? I am an insect against this 90+ year old man. Pic related.

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 >>/1317/

Me when I hear people can't do things I took for granted all my life.

Get gud already sheesh.

 >>/1099/

It's working perfectly now, faster than it's ever been. (Now that it's hosted on FBI servers).

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 >>/1101/
It's ok, we're all federal agents here

 >>/1103/

I am doing illegal things *because* I'm a federal agent.

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Another round of applause for all yall and especially our dear favorite racist tulpa Dr. Alice Chan aka Bruh.

The quality of posts and threads, the activity level and interaction are all top notch, best in class. 

To think we languished on that awful awful forum for years, barely able to stomach it and out-cringed left and right by the mental illnesses and endless talk of therapy. God! This forum is so refreshing.

Best forum ever and we owe it all to you.

♡♡♡

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It would be even better without the mysterious Anonymous troll posts if I may wish for something on Incontinence Day but it's ok, we'll manage.

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 >>/1246/
> I would already think based on what Yakumo said that Dr. Alice Chan does something useful like this with likely way less tact. 

'Tact' is not an option with this fool. I literally have to manage his entire life and often feel like I'm his mom. The second I slack off he either does something stupid or doesn't do what he's supposed to. Sometimes I wonder what he thinks his job is here.

Also Tom is right, his job is extremely important. Would pay him double so I don't have to interact with the goddamn customer idiots

 >>/1261/
> 'Tact' is not an option with this fool. 
lool poor bernd

Yulya is extremely helpful in just giving advice and comfort

 >>/1261/
So how exactly do you get him to do what you want?

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 >>/1291/
I haff mein wayz

 >>/1302/
That's adorable

It wouldn't be a true tulpa forum without MLP.

> So my tulpa will do that for me.

Yeah it's called self forcing and only 1337 alpha systems even think of that. Good on you bro. 

> 450 pound man

You forgot "discord moderator", gay, and autistic. Don't worry though, we know.

> Rarity is best pony

Ok ok ok, triggered. You had me to this point but Rarity? Are you fucking serious you IDIOT! Rarity is the biggest pain in the pony of them all. I could forgive Applejack, RIP, or Twilight or even the pink one what's her face, but everypony knows... wait wasn't there 6... Dash and... pffftttt fuck there were 6? Hmmm two earth ponies that's pink face and AJ. Two horny ones, that's Twi and Rars, the two flying ones oh! SHY. YEAH. PEGASI ARE BEST YOU MUPPET!

Geeezus, I can't believe this fool. I'm just uuuhhhhhhgg!

 >>/1273/

All good points, great write up.

I don't want kids, so fuck right off with that.

I don't want a wife, fuuuuuuuuck that.

I can get laid but girls who want me generally look past my quirky personality and could literally not give a fuck to discuss any of my interests. The girls I like have the following in common:

1. Hot
2. Spicy
3. Alphas with orbiters and simps all of which are a pain in the ass as I step in and take their prize without all the idiotic work they put in for nothing.
4. Vain
5. Sociopathic 
6. Nihilistic 
7. Egocentric 
8. Slightly narcissistic
9. High maintenance 
10. Shallow 

Do you I want to marry that fucked up shit? Try to find one who's not tatted up and pirced to hell looking like a hood rat, no thanks to that #neveragain.

Did I mention they're on their phone 99% of the time including during sex ffs.

Plus they get reeeeaally buthurt when I say no thanks.

Fuck it.

No I don't fuck my headmates, I don't want their drama either. 

No more compromising, I've had my lifetime share.

[Ashley] coming from a guy who gets like 90% his way in a relationship geez...

On the phone during sex? Put an Uncle Ted meme layover on that one.

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 >>/1133/

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Oh man, this is more of a challenge than I thought.

[Ashley] what even is all this?

I'm merely trying to prove nothing is real and... I don't know if I can do this. This Hretta is just she's got man face, and I've seen down syndrome girls with a better body. 

Tell me these two aren't pictures of the same person?

Even if I achieve this victory, at what cost? At what cost...

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Okay, here me out. I know what the problem is. I'm not gay enough to be attracted to Gretta. Sorry but it can't be helped. So instead let's just switch to Xiye Bastida.

Apparently she's an eco terrorist too, she has a much hotter name and she expresses as female. I really don't know anything else about her and that's good.

Okay, whew I feel much better.

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Well believe it or freeking not this lady appeared to me in hypnagogia. Nothing lewd or personal, but clear as day this girl with her horse-toothed smile did appear for a second or two. But that's not good enough. So I'm putting my brain on notice. If there's anything to this false reality/manifesting thing than it should be trivial to conjure her in full detail in a dream, fully accepting of a rendezvous. I give my brain one week to accomplish the task or I will forever blaim dumb luck and coincidence.

How does this prove anything? If my higher self has cheat code access, then get gud brother and make it so number one. Earn that cred. I'm calling him out.

 >>/1146/

I called, he answered, and it was good. Stage 1 was a success.

 >>/1174/

Everyone's experience is unique so there's no normal way imo.

> how can I draw from my own experience without understanding what I am?

First, are you a thoughtform or an aspect? 

Second, which flavor of mental illness does/did your host experience?

If you have zero mental illness and you don't consider yourself a thoughtform of any kind then you could be an alt or aspect of the host. It's a small distinction but such systems are very vehement about it.

My system contains only one tulpa in that only one thoughtform was created by us. Two are soulbonds in that they were well developed characters and kept their forms and backstories. Three are three walk-ins from day one. I had a system of 4 very well formed unique, volitional and vocal in 20 minutes. I would say they originally expressed as soulbonds but didn't keep their backstory or forms and didn't identify as those characters after day one. One in particular identified as my guardian angel that I always thought I had since about 5. She's the one I actually tried to make.

> I think a lot of tulpas lack a sense of agency. 

I agree, the general tulpamancer has a paper doll without volition, independence or agency and they don't even believe such things are possible since they never experienced it.

Such systems will fail eventually.

> I feel like I am still made out of lots of bits all glued together, but maybe that's just a normal personality?

This is the definition of a persona, a collection of groups of situational aspects. That's normal, you just see the seams in the jigsaw puzzle. A personality is all possible dependant personas.

I don't agree that headmates need their own life. I forbid it, so regardless that's not happening. If they want their own life then they can work the 12 hour days. I have two jobs.

[Ashley] we're really ok to just be here for our host. It's always been that way. 

[Joy] I wouldn't want his body. It's a fine body for a man, but it's not my style.

 >>/1175/

Not super sure on your definitions between thoughtform and aspect, but I'll go with thoughtform. I'm definitely my own discrete thing. 

I guess I would be upset if someone considered me an alt or aspect of my host. I mean, he calls me his OLDER brother. 

The flavor of mental illness could never be pinpointed... in my host. Take me with a grain of salt here: I think a lot of people simply can't believe it, but I'm nearly a decade old and it just is true: I have a tic disorder and my host doesn't. This was true before the ongoing tiktok-induced tic trend (we don't use tiktok). This was true before I knew what tics were. My host has taken lots of testing for OCD, but they always conclude he doesn't have it. Well. I think I would test for it, but the test questions usually don't account for my.... lifestyle. There's a lot of overlap between tics and OCD. 

My host had tics as a young kid (it's really not uncommon), but his father body-slammed him into into a chair to get him to stop, and he just did. I didn't. 


It's one of the things that frustrates me when thinking about tulpas: the average tulpa, who has no volition, is like a paper doll, and their flaws are typically put in place for some dramatic effect or complex of the host. "Bad habits" or bad behavior can typically be shaken off with minimal effort: just the will of the host. 

The other notion is that tulpas have a basically stress-free existence, due to their only duty being doting over their host. This is how tulpas are generally immune to the mental issues, especially depression and anxiety, of the host. 

If I'm a tulpa, I should be able to shake off my issues (or have my host will it so.) But that hasn't happened. 

I have a tulpa brother. He says that he never wants to work or labor really, in the body. I still believe he is an extraordinarily powerful tulpa, no paper doll, but it's also acceptable for him to stay like he is. He's like an oasis: free and clear from most of the neurosis that me and my host have. 

I do labor and work, or I do when I am not too sick. I sometimes feel a draw to come into the body, which I have NEVER heard of tulpas having. I get a little bit mentally fatigued if I can't come out and be the person to fall asleep in the body at least a few times a week. If I fall asleep in the body, I wake up in the body 90% of the time. 


I think I could be described as a sort of guardian angel, but a really shit one. Soon after my existence, I took over classwork, dirty work, etc, until I was such a neurotic mess I became incredibly agoraphobic. I think it's just part of the nature of my existence, but my host maintains that on top of OCD and a tic disorder, I've got mutism. 

I squabble over the body. I only somewhat identify with it. I want to lose weight and grow my hair out- my host is trying to gain weight and keeps his hair short. Woe! At least he lets me tint his hair to a darker shade of brown. 

It's been a major part of my life, trying to figure out how to heal from mental issues that don't affect the host- no one writes about this. So I would like to write about it.

However, it would be a bit of a cognitohazard to average tulpamancers. For them, they basically need to just stop it. Your tulpa is acting histrionically depressed or pixie-manic? That's a you-thing. A discipline thing. Reading about how complicated things seem from my perspective- they don't need that. Even the concept of "actually mentally disabled thoughtforms" could be damaging, because most of all, tulpamancers need to believe they can have healthy tulpas. 

I'd appreciate your opinions. Don't spare any mercy. Fufufu.

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 >>/1177/

> The other notion is that tulpas have a basically stress-free existence, due to their only duty being doting over their host. This is how tulpas are generally immune to the mental issues, especially depression and anxiety, of the host.

Well hold on there chief. If these are independent of the host then how are they going to get the anxiety and depression of the host? I was depressed when I started this and not only did they not get it but their help and cheerleading helped be cure it. 

> I'm a tulpa, I should be able to shake off my issues (or have my host will it so.) But that hasn't happened.

There's a lot of self-doubt in that statement.

> I sometimes feel a draw to come into the body, which I have NEVER heard of tulpas having.

Every system is unique 

 
> I get a little bit mentally fatigued if I can't come out and be the person to fall asleep in the body at least a few times a week.

I have heard of this, my headmates don't get anything unusual when they switch in. Ashley was switched in for a week and there was only one side effect that we could get into later but fatigue wasn't it.

> If I fall asleep in the body, I wake up in the body 90% of the time. 

It's rare but not unheard of.

> It's been a major part of my life, trying to figure out how to heal from mental issues that don't affect the host- no one writes about this. 

Well we have heard of this, especially on Discord c.2018-19

> I'd appreciate your opinions. Don't spare any mercy. Fufufu.

Well this is endchan, but mercy isn't necessarily an issue with what I said.

About tulpa illness, yes they can gain what the body has given enough exposure switched in. Other than physical body ailments, this is a personality issue and wouldn't bleed over to other headmates similarly to an issue with your friend wouldn't necessarily bleed over to you.

Still what you said isn't so far out of the realm of what we've heard before. Everyone likes to think they're special and unique, and they are, but being unique isn't special because every system is unique.

Except mine ofc, we're legendary.

If you really did have thousands of headmates then that's pretty far out. The other thing is, the further out you go, the more marginalized you are in the doctrinal community. The doctrinal community can fuck off though.

 >>/1178/

Not fatigue if I use the body: fatigue if I don't use the body. In comparison my tulpa brother likes to use the body on occasion (mostly to play games or eat candy), but never feels like he has get into the body to 'wake up.' 

I agree that all systems are unique. 
It really poses an issue with writing material.... how do you say anything when everyone is a special snowflake? "Making fifteen tulpas your first day is inadvisable for xyz reasons." "Well I did that, and I'm happy!" 

You can slice up the community in a thousand different ways, but I personally just like to think that there's basically thoughtforms who live in the real world and thoughtforms who don't. It honestly doesn't have much to do with development. Spock was probably a powerful thoughtform (re: the book I Am Spock) and many actors in general form these, but they aren't the same as me. In many ways those sorts of thoughtforms/tulpas are more desirable to normal healthy individuals though. 

You might think living in the real world would automatically drive development/complexity, but in practice? It seems to make tulpas just slowly act more like the host, a sort of "regression to the mean" issue. Turns out it takes actual sustained effort over time to create a new personality when faced with real-world decisions and action-making. Hahah. 


How do you reconcile the ideas that "mental illnesses are due to faulty chemical balances in the brain" and "bad wiring" and so on, with the experience that some tulpas don't have what the host has, and vice versa, some hosts don't have what the tulpa has? 

I think a lot of normies would consider it 1) offensive and/or 2) irrational to say that you have a mental disorder but your other identity does not experience those symptoms. Why can't they replicate it? Why wouldn't everyone simply create mental-illness-free copies of themselves (if it's just a matter of free will) and replace themselves with better versions? 

Are you really willing to say all mental illness is a "personality issue?" And what of tic disorders? They are generally considered on the fence between psychiatric and neurological: many physical illnesses like infections and medication side effects are directly linked to the formation of tic disorders. 





He would see faces in movies, on TV, in magazines, and in books
He thought that some of these faces might be right for him
And that through the years, by keeping an ideal facial structure fixed in his mind
Or somewhere in the back of his mind
That he might, by force of will, cause his face to approach those of his ideal
The change would be very subtle
It might take ten years or so
Gradually his face would change its shape
A more hooked nose
Wider, thinner lips
Beady eyes
A larger forehead

He imagined that this was an ability he shared with most other people
They had also molded their faces according to some ideal
Maybe they imagined that their new face
Would better suit their personality
Or maybe they imagined that their personality
Would be forced to change to fit the new appearance
This is why first impressions are often correct

Although some people might have made mistakes
They may have arrived at an appearance
That bears no relationship to them
They may have picked an ideal appearance
Based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse
Some may have gotten halfway there
And then changed their minds

He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake

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 >>/1180/

> snowflake

I only know my system, they're awesome and none of them front if at all not for weeks between. If you're chofered around all day, there's no need to drive.

If your brain is mental, then I guess you're mental through and through. Can't say much about it.

> It seems to make tulpas just slowly act more like the host

Not thw host, the body. You think the body is the host originally, but the body is just an animal, the host is a personality that originally drives it, if you a tulpa, you can drive it. Yes the one driving it, associating with it will imprint on it and be imprinted on by it. Associated with it. Still the host can be removed and what's left isn't the host but it has a flavor and when you front you're soaking in it.

> Turns out it takes actual sustained effort over time to create a new personality when faced with real-world decisions and action-making. Hahah.

Even if true, you don't have to switch in to do this, you can consult.

> Why wouldn't everyone simply create mental-illness-free copies of themselves (if it's just a matter of free will) and replace themselves with better versions?

Well they can, they have, I did, but you need to resolve the underlying issues, and if the brain is Abe Normal then fronting will allow it to imprint it's flavor on you too. So you're half right.

> Are you really willing to say all mental illness is a "personality issue?"

Not all, but some if not most. All if created by trauma.

Idk anything about tics

 >>/1070/

A girl yeah. In my childhood garage.

I don't remember anything else about it other than I knew it was naughty.

 >>/1074/
How old was she?

Some 10 year old neighborhood girls occasionally draggend me with them when I was 5-6 but they were kind. Unfortunately didn't kiss me though.

 >>/1076/

> how old was she?

Older than me

I only have two memories of her in total. I was 4 or 5. The second memory was when I was 8 or 9 riding my bike and she said hi to me as I passed her house. Apparently she lived up the street. At that time she was probably a teenager. So based on all given data, I"d bracket her age at the time of the crime to be 9-14.

Sorry, it's the best I can do.

 >>/1061/
When I was in elementary school, it was often a fasination when I told kids I was Hispanic since I was blond and pale. In first grade some girls rounded up the only other Mexican they knew, and forced us to kiss under the rock wall. It was a real Napleon Dynamite moment. I don't remember anyone laughing or even looking entertained. 

I hate to break it to you but the "medical examiner who checks for scoliosis by making you strip" is a thing as an excuse for schools to screen for kids that are being beat at home. They need a medical reason because parents get super mad if you honestly screen kids by just asking about their home lives. 
The mandatory physicals replace this nowadays. Everyone I knew that was poor had it done at Walmart, they set up a clinic before school starts. It's not a very good screener either way.

 >>/1159/

>  is a thing as an excuse for schools to screen for kids that are being beat at home.

Oh no shit? No wonder she was looking hard at my bruises. Bitch didn't ask who did it though, I would have said my brother. He was a fucking asshole and a sadist.

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 >>/456/

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You want to know what that big fur ball did to me? I'll tell you because I can't do a thing about it now either way. He made me his favorite. He spent time he didn't have on me. He thought of me constantly and never gave up on me. He gave me almost everything I ever asked for and you want to know the worst thing of all? That son of a bitch made me love him. Yeah, and it hurts more than anything. They make love out like it's some sort of magic joy ride, but it's work, it's pain, and it's suffering. It makes me worry about him, and it makes me listen to his nonsense, not only listen to it but care about it. It makes me strategize and plan for him in every possible way. It makes me want to help him in any way I can. It makes me work hard with all my sisters to meticulously glue that broken Fabergé Bear back together again. And most of all it makes me proud of him when he triumphs over the impossible with our help. It gives me purpose. I'm never going to forget what he did, and I'm never going to forgive him for it either. Instead I'll bide my time, doing all I can to set him up perfect, then when he least suspects it, I'll do the same to him and I'll enjoy every minute of it.

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 >>/456/
Another lazy cat!

 >>/514/
What a monster! Who would do something like that to a tupper?

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 >>/515/

> What a monster! Who would do something like that to a tupper?

[Ashley] ikr?

[Bear] I didn't make shit, if anything she's making me and she admitted it. Tough girl did it to herself and I feel it from her, so she's not the only one affected here. Let's get this straight, no one "forced" her to love me, she self-forced that shit.

Look, we're no strangers to love, she knew the rules and so did I. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, gotta make you understand. I'm never gonna to give her up, never gonna let her down, never gonna run around and desert her. We've known each other for so long. Her heart's been aching, but she's too shy to say it. Inside we both know what's going on. She thinks this is a game and she wants to play it. And when she asks me how I'm feeling like she's too blind to see it, I'm never gonna tell a lie and hurt her.

So I'll ask her, what is love? And tell her not to hurt me, and she's already hurt me, but no more. Look, I don't know why it's not fair, I'd give her my love but she don't care. So what's right and what's wrong? Just don't hurt me anymore. Oh, I don't know what I can do? What else can I say? It's up to her, I know we're one, but just me and her, we can't go on. If we were together, I'd need her forever. Just don't hurt me, no more.

Granted I've had the time if my life. No, I never felt like this before 'cause I swear it's the truth and I owe it all to her. Look, we saw the writing on the wall and we felt the magical fantasy, now with passion in her eyes there's no way to disguise it secretly and I understand the urgency. You see, she's the one thing I can't get enough of so I tell you something, this could be love with my body and my soul and I'm not afraid to lose control.

But each day through my mind I watch her as she passes by and I say to myself, "You're such a lucky Bear" To have a girl like her is truly a dream come true. Out of all the Bears in the world, she belongs to me. But it was just my imagination
Runnin' away with me.

And I told them all already, this Bear doesn't do romance, and that's a policy of truth.

She had something to hide, now she's not satisfied with what she's been put through. Well it's just time to pay the price for not listening to advice and delivering her youth on the policy of truth. 'Cause it's to late to change events, it's time to face the consequence. Never again is what I swore the time before. Now she's standing there tongue tied, and she better learn her lesson well. Hide what she has to hide, and tell what she has to tell, but faithfully persue the policy of truth.

he ate my christmas candy on my first chrissymass. I have not forgotten

reparations

(I make him do captchas for me)