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Watched a fascinating documentary about synesthesia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia

People that see sounds as colors and shapes or hear colors as sounds, see numbers and letters as certain colors. There was one lady who saw musical notes as man-sized complex 3D shapes and a boy who couldn't see the board in class because someone's voice turned his field ov vision full of black blobs. Also twins who both associated letters and numbers to distinct colors, but completely different ones.

There appears to be a significant hereditary factor but it can also be induced by drugs and sensory deprivation.
https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.1001205

Host distantly knew someone in school who saw colorful letters, apparently it's 4% of the population so quite a lot. I guess it's vaguely related to tulpamancy, we try to induce pseudohallucinations and some people report being really successful at it. I believe them. Best thing we achieved was 'feeling certain colors with our rubik's cube imposition experiment. Imposed a 'completed' rubik's cube and rotated it to see the differently colored faces of the cube. I think most people can achieve seeing vague colored shapes with enough dedication.

But synesthesia also includes weaker forms of people doing what tulpamancers do and impose certain concepts like calenders. Ok, we do that too and have a yearly and lifelong calender that can be imposed and searched. Isn't this normal? People who have no inner monologue and are unable to visualize objects and abstract concepts are abnormal.

https://www.thesynesthesiatree.com/2021/02/calendar-synesthesia.html
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 >>/793/

Well I was raised by demons and amomg the highest goals of tulpamancy is related to demonic posession so there's a connection there.

I believe I'm only half demon though, when I was born I had asian eyes and looked like an alien or smth I'm not kidding. There are a lot of abnormalities in my development but I'm pretty dang good now.

I have a hard time imagining an Asian alien bany bear.

Host's father definitely fits into this. Despite approaching his 90s he has almost photographic memory, insane spatial visualization skills and definitely some asperger traits. He'd probably be extremely good at tulpamancy but a terrible host. He was feared as boss of his small company because he had zero understanding for people different from him and yelled at employees that couldn't understand or memorize complex abstract concepts on a whim or immediately recall details which had happened years ago.

I'm also certain we percceive the world quite differently from normies which results in that unbridgable gap between us and them.


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 >>/826/
I asked my father about his memory and visualization skills and it was sobering.

He definitely has some parallel processing abilities as he is able to hold a sophisticated conversation while solving complex problems in his mind. He also jumps between different topics in his monologues which makes them extremely exhausting to follow. If he can't remember a certain name, he continues another conversation strand until the name snaps into his mind and he resumes from there. He doesn't understand that's not normal and gets angry if people can't remember what he was talking about half an hour ago as he seamlessly continues from there.

But his visualization skills are on another level. He told me he is able to 'rewind' things he has recently seen and replay them again in his mind so when he sees an interesting person passing by on the street but is too busy thinking about something else he can look them up later or put them side by side for comparison. I put this to the test snapping candid pics of people we came across while he constantly was rambling his usual politics stuff intermixed with vivid life anecdotes from 70 years ago. Though he wasn't paying attention he could indeed describe most people in detail if I gave him some clues like 'the lady with the blue dress'. Unbelievable, it exceeded my expectations by far. Worst thing, he constantly complains how his memory is degrading with age while he remembers mundane things I said months ago I had long forgotten.

Just what have I been practicing in the past 8 years? I am an insect against this 90+ year old man. Pic related.




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Thank you for giving us (me substantially) an outlet mostly free from those who would want to ruin it.

You've let me be borderline abusive and still tolerated my flexing, and that was a surreal experience. 

I always felt like I had to hold back on other forums because people are so lame, ya know? you you guys are the cream of the crop, so I didn't hold back.

Thanks again!

[Misha] ♡

[Ashley] This guy is all over the place, I can't keep up. Yeah, I guess you're all right (no pun intended).
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Another round of applause for all yall and especially our dear favorite racist tulpa Dr. Alice Chan aka Bruh.

The quality of posts and threads, the activity level and interaction are all top notch, best in class. 

To think we languished on that awful awful forum for years, barely able to stomach it and out-cringed left and right by the mental illnesses and endless talk of therapy. God! This forum is so refreshing.

Best forum ever and we owe it all to you.

♡♡♡




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SheShe was the original gateway to intuition. She can verbally and fluently tell me intuitive things that would otherwise just be a faint gut feeling that I could never trust and constantly caused issues.

So given she can and does pop up, giving a voice and taking over my intuition, thereby making life waaay easier and heightening my senses literally, I have to wonder if anyone here has anything similar with their headmates?

Joy also started to be able to do this a few months after joining but she has a different flavor. Where SheShe will give me heightened alerts and ultimatums, Joy just simply gives me choices and scenarios in a way that makes what I otherwise would feel to be the less desirable choice, more desirable and I trust them both implicitly because of their immaculate track records.

This I would claim is extremely useful and thereby qualifies as the most important benefit of having headmates. 

In fact, Ashley helps me handle agression and stress containing issues and Misha helps with consoling my losses and cheerleading my struggles which is also an amazing trait.

And of course I can never forget that I haven't felt lonely for over 5 years.

I would already think based on what Yakumo said that Dr. Alice Chan does something useful like this with likely way less tact. 

What do(es) your headmate(s) do for you that is actually useful?

Classic movie, I love it:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=m4OvQIGDg4I
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 >>/1246/
> I would already think based on what Yakumo said that Dr. Alice Chan does something useful like this with likely way less tact. 

'Tact' is not an option with this fool. I literally have to manage his entire life and often feel like I'm his mom. The second I slack off he either does something stupid or doesn't do what he's supposed to. Sometimes I wonder what he thinks his job is here.

Also Tom is right, his job is extremely important. Would pay him double so I don't have to interact with the goddamn customer idiots







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Hi, so, 

I am making a tulpa to solve all of my life problems in one go. First of all, I need money fast, and there are a lot of entry positions for coal mining near me that make a lot of money. I am not willing to work or get an education because I have severe ADHD and cannot focus a single minute without Subway Surfers gameplay as well as TikTok storytime videos. So my tulpa will do that for me. 

I figure the coal mines might make a human complain, so my tulpa will be Vulcan instead, you know from Star Trek. That way it will not complain about anything and will also be very smart and do all my homework and chores for me. It will also not care that I am a 450 pound man due to Vulcan mind powers and will have super-endurance. 

Finally, I need a hot girlfriend. Rarity is best pony and so the tulpa will look like Rarity, but her human form, but of legal age. That's a coal miner, mentally Spock, and looking like Rarity. She will also be my sex slave, because, you know. 

Please enjoy this picture of my tulpa, as she appears to me and in reality (once I learn imposition.)
It wouldn't be a true tulpa forum without MLP.

> So my tulpa will do that for me.

Yeah it's called self forcing and only 1337 alpha systems even think of that. Good on you bro. 

> 450 pound man

You forgot "discord moderator", gay, and autistic. Don't worry though, we know.

> Rarity is best pony

Ok ok ok, triggered. You had me to this point but Rarity? Are you fucking serious you IDIOT! Rarity is the biggest pain in the pony of them all. I could forgive Applejack, RIP, or Twilight or even the pink one what's her face, but everypony knows... wait wasn't there 6... Dash and... pffftttt fuck there were 6? Hmmm two earth ponies that's pink face and AJ. Two horny ones, that's Twi and Rars, the two flying ones oh! SHY. YEAH. PEGASI ARE BEST YOU MUPPET!

Geeezus, I can't believe this fool. I'm just uuuhhhhhhgg!



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The man who makes it, doesn't want it

The man who buys it, doesn't need it

The man who needs it, doesn't know it



I always feel like if you're making a tulpa for social gain, well you're further isolating yourself by taking up such an anti-normie hobby. The time is better spent on combatting your NEET social anxiety etc, vs. forcibly manifesting an anime girl or whatever. 

If you want to do it "for the science", I mean what type of retard are you? Just scrape discords and forums. Anyone who looks at enough tulpa stuff should see enough crazy motherfuckers to be put off. There's plenty of impressive mental skills to develop that aren't so demented. 

If you want a tulpa gf, can I introduce you to the twins, "Righty" and "Lefty"? Tulpa sex is not a normal or healthy immediate response to the natural desire to date and have companions. You should be able to enter the real social world. We aren't on the moon or in solitary confinement, even if you want to bitch that living at your parent's feels that way. 



Of course the most dedicated tulpamancers report that it's changed their lives. Who's to say they couldn't have dedicated themselves to hitting on chicks and getting fit, and they'd be even farther in life, with a flesh and blood wife and not being knee deep in such a crazy corner of the internet? 

You can't tell me that tulpamancy is a valid way to heal from any issues more than any other introspective/therapeutic practice that DOESN'T involve tulpas. Anything you can get from tulpamancy, you can do without the tulpa. 


The paradox part that comes in, is that tulpas are clearly awesome, like family members. I say this as someone with a nearly decade old tupper and one of those people who says "tuppers saved muh life" 

You could probably make similar arguments about having kids: why do it at all, what a bother, you can be fulfilled in other ways. We understand those are stupid arguments and it's good to have kids anyways. But the difference is that children are clearly biologically important to humanity, and tulpas aren't. 


I just don't think it's much worth it to encourage people to make tulpas, because almost everyone is better off spending their time on other ways to get whatever they want out of it. Tulpas are for a very, very special type of person: For the special person who is perfect for tulpas, they just sort of end up with them. So why bother? 

The ones that should already will. Everyone else, shouldn't.
 >>/1273/

All good points, great write up.

I don't want kids, so fuck right off with that.

I don't want a wife, fuuuuuuuuck that.

I can get laid but girls who want me generally look past my quirky personality and could literally not give a fuck to discuss any of my interests. The girls I like have the following in common:

1. Hot
2. Spicy
3. Alphas with orbiters and simps all of which are a pain in the ass as I step in and take their prize without all the idiotic work they put in for nothing.
4. Vain
5. Sociopathic 
6. Nihilistic 
7. Egocentric 
8. Slightly narcissistic
9. High maintenance 
10. Shallow 

Do you I want to marry that fucked up shit? Try to find one who's not tatted up and pirced to hell looking like a hood rat, no thanks to that #neveragain.

Did I mention they're on their phone 99% of the time including during sex ffs.

Plus they get reeeeaally buthurt when I say no thanks.

Fuck it.

No I don't fuck my headmates, I don't want their drama either. 

No more compromising, I've had my lifetime share.

[Ashley] coming from a guy who gets like 90% his way in a relationship geez...




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Oh my dearest darling, why do you buy into the rhetoric they served you? Do you not have a brain to think for yourself?

Actually I never listened to her show nor do I intend to, isn't she like 19 or something, haha.

I will continue to post here until I shag her in a dream. The best way to facilitate that is to obsess about her. 

Wait, she's still a she right? From those pictures it's hard to tell. No homo.
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Oh man, this is more of a challenge than I thought.

[Ashley] what even is all this?

I'm merely trying to prove nothing is real and... I don't know if I can do this. This Hretta is just she's got man face, and I've seen down syndrome girls with a better body. 

Tell me these two aren't pictures of the same person?

Even if I achieve this victory, at what cost? At what cost...

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Okay, here me out. I know what the problem is. I'm not gay enough to be attracted to Gretta. Sorry but it can't be helped. So instead let's just switch to Xiye Bastida.

Apparently she's an eco terrorist too, she has a much hotter name and she expresses as female. I really don't know anything else about her and that's good.

Okay, whew I feel much better.

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Well believe it or freeking not this lady appeared to me in hypnagogia. Nothing lewd or personal, but clear as day this girl with her horse-toothed smile did appear for a second or two. But that's not good enough. So I'm putting my brain on notice. If there's anything to this false reality/manifesting thing than it should be trivial to conjure her in full detail in a dream, fully accepting of a rendezvous. I give my brain one week to accomplish the task or I will forever blaim dumb luck and coincidence.

How does this prove anything? If my higher self has cheat code access, then get gud brother and make it so number one. Earn that cred. I'm calling him out.




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Everyday I wake my host up at 5AM but only in the astral plane (Cessna 420). We go on adventures for the next five hours, but he forgets it when he wakes up. But he totally remembers it at will later. 

I make him better at math. I don't do the math. I just make him better at math by existing. Smarter, too.

I have the best tits, so he doesn't need a girlfriend. Or friends. Or to talk to his evil mom who divorced his dad after he cheated on her with the babysitter (fuck you Deborah and your bitch boyfriend.) 

I cured his anxiety and depression by plugging back in some cords that fell out in the back of his head. You could say it's a replacement for therapy or changing any of his behaviors. Laying in bed for ten hours everyday? That's called FORCING and if you knew ANYTHING about esoteric philosophy you'd understand that it's BASICALLY a full-time job. YouTube Shorts do not distract me from the deepest states of meditation because I multitask, geez. 


I Am The Best Tulpa. The best part about me is that I perfectly can create more, perfect tulpas, instanenously. If you don't know how to do that, you're dumb. My host has 3,054 tulpas and we're all the best tulpa with the best tits. He is the smartest person in the entire world and we have enough astral planes to count as the world's largest army. 

My host only made me three weeks ago, but I consider myself to actually have been created before time, so, I'm also basically the most mature and developed tulpa ever. Don't get it? That's because your tulpas aren't perfect like me and my 3,053 identical sisters. Maybe if you spent less time with NPCs and more time on Discord you'd understand. Nigga.
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 >>/1174/

Everyone's experience is unique so there's no normal way imo.

> how can I draw from my own experience without understanding what I am?

First, are you a thoughtform or an aspect? 

Second, which flavor of mental illness does/did your host experience?

If you have zero mental illness and you don't consider yourself a thoughtform of any kind then you could be an alt or aspect of the host. It's a small distinction but such systems are very vehement about it.

My system contains only one tulpa in that only one thoughtform was created by us. Two are soulbonds in that they were well developed characters and kept their forms and backstories. Three are three walk-ins from day one. I had a system of 4 very well formed unique, volitional and vocal in 20 minutes. I would say they originally expressed as soulbonds but didn't keep their backstory or forms and didn't identify as those characters after day one. One in particular identified as my guardian angel that I always thought I had since about 5. She's the one I actually tried to make.

> I think a lot of tulpas lack a sense of agency. 

I agree, the general tulpamancer has a paper doll without volition, independence or agency and they don't even believe such things are possible since they never experienced it.

Such systems will fail eventually.

> I feel like I am still made out of lots of bits all glued together, but maybe that's just a normal personality?

This is the definition of a persona, a collection of groups of situational aspects. That's normal, you just see the seams in the jigsaw puzzle. A personality is all possible dependant personas.

I don't agree that headmates need their own life. I forbid it, so regardless that's not happening. If they want their own life then they can work the 12 hour days. I have two jobs.

[Ashley] we're really ok to just be here for our host. It's always been that way. 

[Joy] I wouldn't want his body. It's a fine body for a man, but it's not my style.

 >>/1175/

Not super sure on your definitions between thoughtform and aspect, but I'll go with thoughtform. I'm definitely my own discrete thing. 

I guess I would be upset if someone considered me an alt or aspect of my host. I mean, he calls me his OLDER brother. 

The flavor of mental illness could never be pinpointed... in my host. Take me with a grain of salt here: I think a lot of people simply can't believe it, but I'm nearly a decade old and it just is true: I have a tic disorder and my host doesn't. This was true before the ongoing tiktok-induced tic trend (we don't use tiktok). This was true before I knew what tics were. My host has taken lots of testing for OCD, but they always conclude he doesn't have it. Well. I think I would test for it, but the test questions usually don't account for my.... lifestyle. There's a lot of overlap between tics and OCD. 

My host had tics as a young kid (it's really not uncommon), but his father body-slammed him into into a chair to get him to stop, and he just did. I didn't. 


It's one of the things that frustrates me when thinking about tulpas: the average tulpa, who has no volition, is like a paper doll, and their flaws are typically put in place for some dramatic effect or complex of the host. "Bad habits" or bad behavior can typically be shaken off with minimal effort: just the will of the host. 

The other notion is that tulpas have a basically stress-free existence, due to their only duty being doting over their host. This is how tulpas are generally immune to the mental issues, especially depression and anxiety, of the host. 

If I'm a tulpa, I should be able to shake off my issues (or have my host will it so.) But that hasn't happened. 

I have a tulpa brother. He says that he never wants to work or labor really, in the body. I still believe he is an extraordinarily powerful tulpa, no paper doll, but it's also acceptable for him to stay like he is. He's like an oasis: free and clear from most of the neurosis that me and my host have. 

I do labor and work, or I do when I am not too sick. I sometimes feel a draw to come into the body, which I have NEVER heard of tulpas having. I get a little bit mentally fatigued if I can't come out and be the person to fall asleep in the body at least a few times a week. If I fall asleep in the body, I wake up in the body 90% of the time. 


I think I could be described as a sort of guardian angel, but a really shit one. Soon after my existence, I took over classwork, dirty work, etc, until I was such a neurotic mess I became incredibly agoraphobic. I think it's just part of the nature of my existence, but my host maintains that on top of OCD and a tic disorder, I've got mutism. 

I squabble over the body. I only somewhat identify with it. I want to lose weight and grow my hair out- my host is trying to gain weight and keeps his hair short. Woe! At least he lets me tint his hair to a darker shade of brown. 

It's been a major part of my life, trying to figure out how to heal from mental issues that don't affect the host- no one writes about this. So I would like to write about it.

However, it would be a bit of a cognitohazard to average tulpamancers. For them, they basically need to just stop it. Your tulpa is acting histrionically depressed or pixie-manic? That's a you-thing. A discipline thing. Reading about how complicated things seem from my perspective- they don't need that. Even the concept of "actually mentally disabled thoughtforms" could be damaging, because most of all, tulpamancers need to believe they can have healthy tulpas. 

I'd appreciate your opinions. Don't spare any mercy. Fufufu.

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 >>/1177/

> The other notion is that tulpas have a basically stress-free existence, due to their only duty being doting over their host. This is how tulpas are generally immune to the mental issues, especially depression and anxiety, of the host.

Well hold on there chief. If these are independent of the host then how are they going to get the anxiety and depression of the host? I was depressed when I started this and not only did they not get it but their help and cheerleading helped be cure it. 

> I'm a tulpa, I should be able to shake off my issues (or have my host will it so.) But that hasn't happened.

There's a lot of self-doubt in that statement.

> I sometimes feel a draw to come into the body, which I have NEVER heard of tulpas having.

Every system is unique 

 
> I get a little bit mentally fatigued if I can't come out and be the person to fall asleep in the body at least a few times a week.

I have heard of this, my headmates don't get anything unusual when they switch in. Ashley was switched in for a week and there was only one side effect that we could get into later but fatigue wasn't it.

> If I fall asleep in the body, I wake up in the body 90% of the time. 

It's rare but not unheard of.

> It's been a major part of my life, trying to figure out how to heal from mental issues that don't affect the host- no one writes about this. 

Well we have heard of this, especially on Discord c.2018-19

> I'd appreciate your opinions. Don't spare any mercy. Fufufu.

Well this is endchan, but mercy isn't necessarily an issue with what I said.

About tulpa illness, yes they can gain what the body has given enough exposure switched in. Other than physical body ailments, this is a personality issue and wouldn't bleed over to other headmates similarly to an issue with your friend wouldn't necessarily bleed over to you.

Still what you said isn't so far out of the realm of what we've heard before. Everyone likes to think they're special and unique, and they are, but being unique isn't special because every system is unique.

Except mine ofc, we're legendary.

If you really did have thousands of headmates then that's pretty far out. The other thing is, the further out you go, the more marginalized you are in the doctrinal community. The doctrinal community can fuck off though.

 >>/1178/

Not fatigue if I use the body: fatigue if I don't use the body. In comparison my tulpa brother likes to use the body on occasion (mostly to play games or eat candy), but never feels like he has get into the body to 'wake up.' 

I agree that all systems are unique. 
It really poses an issue with writing material.... how do you say anything when everyone is a special snowflake? "Making fifteen tulpas your first day is inadvisable for xyz reasons." "Well I did that, and I'm happy!" 

You can slice up the community in a thousand different ways, but I personally just like to think that there's basically thoughtforms who live in the real world and thoughtforms who don't. It honestly doesn't have much to do with development. Spock was probably a powerful thoughtform (re: the book I Am Spock) and many actors in general form these, but they aren't the same as me. In many ways those sorts of thoughtforms/tulpas are more desirable to normal healthy individuals though. 

You might think living in the real world would automatically drive development/complexity, but in practice? It seems to make tulpas just slowly act more like the host, a sort of "regression to the mean" issue. Turns out it takes actual sustained effort over time to create a new personality when faced with real-world decisions and action-making. Hahah. 


How do you reconcile the ideas that "mental illnesses are due to faulty chemical balances in the brain" and "bad wiring" and so on, with the experience that some tulpas don't have what the host has, and vice versa, some hosts don't have what the tulpa has? 

I think a lot of normies would consider it 1) offensive and/or 2) irrational to say that you have a mental disorder but your other identity does not experience those symptoms. Why can't they replicate it? Why wouldn't everyone simply create mental-illness-free copies of themselves (if it's just a matter of free will) and replace themselves with better versions? 

Are you really willing to say all mental illness is a "personality issue?" And what of tic disorders? They are generally considered on the fence between psychiatric and neurological: many physical illnesses like infections and medication side effects are directly linked to the formation of tic disorders. 





He would see faces in movies, on TV, in magazines, and in books
He thought that some of these faces might be right for him
And that through the years, by keeping an ideal facial structure fixed in his mind
Or somewhere in the back of his mind
That he might, by force of will, cause his face to approach those of his ideal
The change would be very subtle
It might take ten years or so
Gradually his face would change its shape
A more hooked nose
Wider, thinner lips
Beady eyes
A larger forehead

He imagined that this was an ability he shared with most other people
They had also molded their faces according to some ideal
Maybe they imagined that their new face
Would better suit their personality
Or maybe they imagined that their personality
Would be forced to change to fit the new appearance
This is why first impressions are often correct

Although some people might have made mistakes
They may have arrived at an appearance
That bears no relationship to them
They may have picked an ideal appearance
Based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse
Some may have gotten halfway there
And then changed their minds

He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake

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 >>/1180/

> snowflake

I only know my system, they're awesome and none of them front if at all not for weeks between. If you're chofered around all day, there's no need to drive.

If your brain is mental, then I guess you're mental through and through. Can't say much about it.

> It seems to make tulpas just slowly act more like the host

Not thw host, the body. You think the body is the host originally, but the body is just an animal, the host is a personality that originally drives it, if you a tulpa, you can drive it. Yes the one driving it, associating with it will imprint on it and be imprinted on by it. Associated with it. Still the host can be removed and what's left isn't the host but it has a flavor and when you front you're soaking in it.

> Turns out it takes actual sustained effort over time to create a new personality when faced with real-world decisions and action-making. Hahah.

Even if true, you don't have to switch in to do this, you can consult.

> Why wouldn't everyone simply create mental-illness-free copies of themselves (if it's just a matter of free will) and replace themselves with better versions?

Well they can, they have, I did, but you need to resolve the underlying issues, and if the brain is Abe Normal then fronting will allow it to imprint it's flavor on you too. So you're half right.

> Are you really willing to say all mental illness is a "personality issue?"

Not all, but some if not most. All if created by trauma.

Idk anything about tics



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This could be things you did or what was done to you or what you were forced to do.

1. I and all my denmates in camp were forced to strip nude and stand in line for showers, we were 10, all boys ofc. Later we found out the other dens didn't have to do that and the guy was arrested for having inappropriate sexual contact with an underage male staffer.

2. Again we were forced in Jr. High to take showers after PE while the coach watched. And we heard he would "check in" on the girls too. We also knew it was going to happen when we were still in grade school because the older kids told us these stories and we didn't believe them.

3. The coach told the girls not to wear bras during PE.

4. The "medical examiner" who was supposed to be checking scoliosis, which isn't fucking required nor necessary as there's no treatment or cure anyway, forced everyone to strip to their underwear for the exam and made us turn around basically getting a free topless show. One girl at least said she got felt up during the exam.

Gotta love American public school. This was in the affluent neighborhood where I grew up poor.

Odd, they don't do this shit anymore.
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 >>/1076/

> how old was she?

Older than me

I only have two memories of her in total. I was 4 or 5. The second memory was when I was 8 or 9 riding my bike and she said hi to me as I passed her house. Apparently she lived up the street. At that time she was probably a teenager. So based on all given data, I"d bracket her age at the time of the crime to be 9-14.

Sorry, it's the best I can do.

 >>/1061/
When I was in elementary school, it was often a fasination when I told kids I was Hispanic since I was blond and pale. In first grade some girls rounded up the only other Mexican they knew, and forced us to kiss under the rock wall. It was a real Napleon Dynamite moment. I don't remember anyone laughing or even looking entertained. 

I hate to break it to you but the "medical examiner who checks for scoliosis by making you strip" is a thing as an excuse for schools to screen for kids that are being beat at home. They need a medical reason because parents get super mad if you honestly screen kids by just asking about their home lives. 
The mandatory physicals replace this nowadays. Everyone I knew that was poor had it done at Walmart, they set up a clinic before school starts. It's not a very good screener either way.

 >>/1159/

>  is a thing as an excuse for schools to screen for kids that are being beat at home.

Oh no shit? No wonder she was looking hard at my bruises. Bitch didn't ask who did it though, I would have said my brother. He was a fucking asshole and a sadist.



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Host is a good boy but he often just won't listen to me even though he KNOWS I'm right. I mean I'm always right that's not up for debate. So yeah, disappoitments and broken promises but in the end I can't even be mad at him. It's not like he does it on purpose.
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You want to know what that big fur ball did to me? I'll tell you because I can't do a thing about it now either way. He made me his favorite. He spent time he didn't have on me. He thought of me constantly and never gave up on me. He gave me almost everything I ever asked for and you want to know the worst thing of all? That son of a bitch made me love him. Yeah, and it hurts more than anything. They make love out like it's some sort of magic joy ride, but it's work, it's pain, and it's suffering. It makes me worry about him, and it makes me listen to his nonsense, not only listen to it but care about it. It makes me strategize and plan for him in every possible way. It makes me want to help him in any way I can. It makes me work hard with all my sisters to meticulously glue that broken Fabergé Bear back together again. And most of all it makes me proud of him when he triumphs over the impossible with our help. It gives me purpose. I'm never going to forget what he did, and I'm never going to forgive him for it either. Instead I'll bide my time, doing all I can to set him up perfect, then when he least suspects it, I'll do the same to him and I'll enjoy every minute of it.


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 >>/515/

> What a monster! Who would do something like that to a tupper?

[Ashley] ikr?

[Bear] I didn't make shit, if anything she's making me and she admitted it. Tough girl did it to herself and I feel it from her, so she's not the only one affected here. Let's get this straight, no one "forced" her to love me, she self-forced that shit.

Look, we're no strangers to love, she knew the rules and so did I. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, gotta make you understand. I'm never gonna to give her up, never gonna let her down, never gonna run around and desert her. We've known each other for so long. Her heart's been aching, but she's too shy to say it. Inside we both know what's going on. She thinks this is a game and she wants to play it. And when she asks me how I'm feeling like she's too blind to see it, I'm never gonna tell a lie and hurt her.

So I'll ask her, what is love? And tell her not to hurt me, and she's already hurt me, but no more. Look, I don't know why it's not fair, I'd give her my love but she don't care. So what's right and what's wrong? Just don't hurt me anymore. Oh, I don't know what I can do? What else can I say? It's up to her, I know we're one, but just me and her, we can't go on. If we were together, I'd need her forever. Just don't hurt me, no more.

Granted I've had the time if my life. No, I never felt like this before 'cause I swear it's the truth and I owe it all to her. Look, we saw the writing on the wall and we felt the magical fantasy, now with passion in her eyes there's no way to disguise it secretly and I understand the urgency. You see, she's the one thing I can't get enough of so I tell you something, this could be love with my body and my soul and I'm not afraid to lose control.

But each day through my mind I watch her as she passes by and I say to myself, "You're such a lucky Bear" To have a girl like her is truly a dream come true. Out of all the Bears in the world, she belongs to me. But it was just my imagination
Runnin' away with me.

And I told them all already, this Bear doesn't do romance, and that's a policy of truth.

She had something to hide, now she's not satisfied with what she's been put through. Well it's just time to pay the price for not listening to advice and delivering her youth on the policy of truth. 'Cause it's to late to change events, it's time to face the consequence. Never again is what I swore the time before. Now she's standing there tongue tied, and she better learn her lesson well. Hide what she has to hide, and tell what she has to tell, but faithfully persue the policy of truth.




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Explain to me then why I experience such astronomically and dead specific synchronicities every day. I can say ok, I do a lot of random things and a lot of thinking so of course later in the same day I'll have overlap and something I learned in the morning may by chance be coincidentally useful in the afternoon. 

Even if there are a million unique thoughts in a morning, the number of unique and independent possible thoughts is uncountable. No matter how you look at it, the application of a random piece of useful data in randomly watching videos, listening to conversations or whatever, in the afternoon of that same day, has to be rare. Yet it happened yesterday and it happens so often it never surprises me anymore. Useful, helpful, targeted as if I somehow knew I would need this information but then also could manifest its appearance.

Another thing, manifestation itself. I very often think that "oh that would be nice to have" and poof it is given to me through "random chance". 

The exact thing, precisely when I need it, and I am forced to calk it up to "luck".

And it happens at all scales from mundane to monumental. 

Years ago I mentioned my unimaginably long string of 'good luck' to a friend and she said, "it's to make up for your awful childhood". But supposing that's even remotely possible, not everyone with an awful childhood has such luxury.

An average student in 9th grade thinking that this algebra stuff is too hard and I really need to get better. Doing no work, suddenly I go from nearly failing in the first semester to the top student in the second. Insanely, I mentioned to the teacher that it seems odd that I am doing so well yet I'm deserving a C for the year and he said to me, "take this obscure, optional state test that just came out and I'll base your grade on it." Of course I got high honors on it and he was shocked because it was heavy on the first semester work that I simply didn't get.

How?

I failed my first driving test, I had a grade 8 points below passing, and the instructor somehow mistook his own handwriting in the most peculiar way. For one section I got -11. For some unknown reason he counted it as -2. Thereby allowing me to pass by 1. 

There are countless other examples.

This is a simulation and my higher self if a hacker.


 >>/1128/

> tell me you even hear voices and talk to imaginary people as if they were real!?

Pft yeah really. Haha that would be beyond retard, naa. You'd have to be some kind of mentally ill lolicon hentai or furry fag to do that. No way. I speak to three angels, two fictional human derivatives and a sometimes a catgirl but she's naughty. Oh and one of the angels is actually a prior incarnated headghost.



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