/tulpa/ - Tulpa

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 >>/4779/
yeah we know what hes trying to say but that doesnt mean his fabricated story makes more sense than ours. the point is that we must have freed the kids beefore the rothé were spooked. or that they themselves must have cut the chain so their valuable goods would not get destroyed when the rothe started rampaging.

but yeah thats how it was:
strange anti-slaver dragon spooked the rothes resulting in terrible accident. we rescued the kids and the dragon took the slavers only leaving the plate behind. many such cases.

 >>/4781/
> many such cases.

If I had a nickel for every time that happened I'd still be broke, but you know. Truth is often stranger than fiction so this isn't that strange at all by comparison.

Freya aside, we should say as little as possible from here on out.

 >>/4783/
whew Yulya made it somehow. thx mr. morningstar
get in Alice we are goin to neverwinter!

 >>/4784/
 >>/4785/
> Nya

lol poor freya i hope she can make sense of that text wall

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 >>/4767/
> wait wait wait did Alice make a mistake? 
Oops yeah, guilty as charged!
Joy confused me with those rings. I assumed the one able to pass the damge to the other must be the boss. But my point still stands - niggers can't be marquis - or a marquis son.

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Modern problems call for modern solutions.

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 >>/4783/
Yulya almost cries out of relief
Thank you Sir that would be a great help! I will try my best but I am not used to handling horses. I wish Cat was here but she went ahead to Neverwinter to report our situation!

Yulya clumsily tries to unharness the horses in the dark

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 >>/4792/
While Yulya and the roadmaster are busy with the horses, Alice stealthily approaches the cart from behind and creeps inside. An amorphous alien shape looms over the children. Alice singles out Tiffany who is noticeably taller than the other girls and also has blonde hair. She is smaller than the girl Alice usually poses as but not by much. Good enough as replacement Alice
Sorry kiddo but 5gp are 5gp...

Tentacles encroach the sleeping child and Alice carefully dresses Tiffany in her Yukata so that the adventurer's tag is clearly visible. She places the Kitsune mask on Tiffany's head before retreating to the underside of the cart as silently as she came.
Neverwinter here we come!
One roadmasters, 3 adventurers and 11 children. Certainly nobody who could be a shapeshifting dragon among them, inspect them as thorough as you like!
Alice laughs to herself

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 >>/4772/
 >>/4784/
 >>/4785/

> they told her to give Ashley and me to them Nya as slaves Nya can you imagine Nya?
Freya takes note, her expression is one of mild shock.

> Cat conveniently skips the part about cooking and eating the corpses and feeding them to the children. A chef's recipes are well-guarded secrets
Understandable
Freya is very distracted by the Nyas, too distracted to even notice any trace of a need for this detail. 

> So what do we do Freya Nya? With the kids Nya? 

"Mmh, mhm," she nods as she's thinking "there are several orphanages in Neverwinter, there shouldn't be a problem getting them placed tomorrow, what's important is they're safe, and we have plenty of room here for them tonight."

> The bad guys had enough money so we can bring them into the city Nya they had some special purse Nya said something about enter register and eat Nya it was strange

She smiles kindly, "well this is good... I suppose," she thinks again back to the bigger issue at hand, killing a member of the nobility.

> we can't tell anyone about what happened
Freya nods with agreement and equal concern. She holds her hand under her chin, thinking hard.

> they will come after us

"Witnesses!" She says abruptly, "Did you have any witnesses?"
[Required response #1]

> I don't wanna lose my friends too
Freya puts he hand gently on Cat's shoulder, "I won't let that happen, it won't happen period."

> please help us Freya
"Of course. Just relax. If the guards said they are sending help for the cart, that's taken care of, that's what they do. So, I will prepare a few rooms for 12, I'll keep the guild open late and prepare a midnight snack for everyone, the kids will love it, and then we'll get a couple tubs ready with hot water to clean the road grime off them, get them all cozy and clean in their rooms and you too of course, and tomorrow we have all day to figure it out once we're all well rested. The guild is closed Sundays, but I live here so I can help out tomorrow with strategies and everything else you need, like your own personal assistant. Say nothing to anyone else, follow my lead."

She opens the door and ushers Cat out. When they return to the guild hall Brutus and his team are helping clean up.

"Oh you saints, I can't believe it. Let's leave a couple tables open, we're going to have guests. Honeybun, we need that abominably adorable charisma of yours to help Cat this evening. If you want to help, go with Cat back to her cart, it's likely they'll already be on the move north via the guard horses. Please do whatever needs done and I'll have a special treat for you when you get back."

Brutus's eyes lit up like a schoolboy. In a gravely yet enthusiastic voice he says, "Is it my birthday? I feel like I'm getting presents."

"Kess, and Grœtiekins, can you two help me ready a few rooms and get tubs moved and readied? I'll need to do some cooking, we're expecting... 12,13, 16? 16 guests, many of them children."

Kessandra and Grœt both seem to understand what to do and immediately get to work.

"Room 202, 203, open them up together... aaaand 205 6, 6, and 4," Freya looks excited, "Cat, just tell them where to come and help bring the kids here safely." 

She moves to Brutus and puts her hand daintily on his ample chest, "Honeybun, we need their safe return to the guild, make sure the guards know we have this taken care of."

He melted, "leave it to me, and if they get smart, leave it to Bertha," he pats his giant-sized maul.

"We just need them here, not more trouble."

Freya, you know me. I'll smile and they'll do whatever I want.

"I knew I could count on you honeybun."

"Grœt."

"I know I know! Only Freya could dare call him that and only because it's Freya would he accept it!" Kessandra sighs.

Cat, you have been instructed to take Brutus with you back south to the cart.

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 >>/4792/
> Thank you Sir that would be a great help! I will try my best but I am not used to handling horses. I wish Cat was here but she went ahead to Neverwinter to report our situation!

Yulya fumbles with the yokes and harnesses, [Dex and Int 1d20+1=15] she manages, then leads the half-asleep horses and ties them to the back of the cart.

Stregren harnesses up Sandie and gives her a nudge and word of encouragement. [1d20+5=23] Sandie beats expectations and with a triumphant neigh she lunges the cart forward and strongly marches forward, seemingly excited by the whole situation.

The cart moves [1d4=2] a steady 2 miles an hour. You'll expect to be at Neverwinter by [0:30].

[23:00 1d20=13] Road lamps are visible in the distance ahead, several riders are headed south at a high rate of speed, they'll reach you in less than a couple minutes.
[Required Action]

As long as Cat follows Freya's suggestion, you'll be likely reunited again. Cat and Brutus would be just behind the guards. 

 >>/4795/
Why do I feel dirty.

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 >>/4799/
> Freya puts he hand gently on Cat's shoulder
Thank you Freya Nyaaa!
Cat hugs Freya with her giant paws, squeezing her tight

> "Witnesses!" She says abruptly, "Did you have any witnesses?"
No Nya we were lucky Nya there was nobody Nya even the kids didn't see Nya! But you know nobles Nya they won't sit still Nya they'll investigate Nya so I'm worried Nya!

> Cat, you have been instructed to take Brutus with you back south to the cart.
Thaks for your help Brutus Nya! With someone like you we won't have any trouuble Nya! Thank you all for being so kind Nya you're true friends Nya I won't forget Nya!
Cat cheerfully races off dragging Brutus behind

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Saw two dogs having gay sex today, didn't need to see that, could have happily gone through the rest of my life without that. The receiver didn't appreciate the attention, the pitcher was obviously not that into it either bc dog had no bone, so wtf?

I guess dogs sometimes show dominance this way but seriously didn't need to see that.

[Ashley] they're just celebrating gay pride month.

I sometimes still have suicidal thoughts, or at least right now.

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 >>/4714/
lmao why did you even watch them

at least no snow its midsummer again theres some twilight until 11pm fucking awesome. temperatures up to 30°C forecast for next week.

 >>/4703/

 >>/4793/

Dangit

 >>/4794/
How much did tuppers help? Some new challenge for Autumn?

Also is there any downside to aluminium (aside price I suppose)?
This aircraft grade alu stuff appears to be extremely tough. Not steel but almost for far less weight. Lots of gun parts are made from it.

 >>/4796/
> How much did tuppers help? Some new challenge for Autumn?

Uh, mechanic work is man's work. We'll make the lemonade and sandwiches and bring them out wearing low cut sundresses.

> Also is there any downside to aluminium (aside price I suppose)?

[Bear] Not really, and price wasn't an issue. 

> This aircraft grade alu stuff appears to be extremely tough. Not steel but almost for far less weight. Lots of gun parts are made from it.

[Bear] 6061-t6 and 1018 have nearly the same yield strength but steel is tougher and aluminium will age harden and become brittle after a very long time. It also can fatigue crack and steel is virtually immune to that.

[Bear] It even sounds different which is weird. I know intake manifold design makes Porsche sound the way it does. They actually amplify that intentionally.

 >>/4562/
> Exhausted

https://youtube.com/watch?v=r94vuvwUSkY

It's not like you have to do much. Yeah, we all got a huge boost after this whole D&D kick started. It's been huge for all of us.

 >>/4562/
 >>/4564/
Yep I also feel I interfere too much but Cat is surprisingly enthusiastic about all this. I still gotta help with all the background stuff and strategizing a bit so things don't turn in total chaos. Would be fun for the moment but not in the long run. I hope I can make her take over more and more over time. She's already very passionate about her inventory and stats so that's good

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What a great evening!
Sat in the garden with host, watching sundown and dusk, we were surrounded by a swarm of fireflies, at least 5. It only lasted for about half an hour around 10pm but it was great. The  cats were underneath trying to catch them but the fireflies turn on and off the light so they had no luck. And I saw a huge meteor at 10:30 going north! Biggest I ever saw it was bright white and broke into several pieces. Lasted about 3s. Very beautiful! Probably part of the June Bootids, also saw 2 minor ones.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_Bootids

 >>/4758/
Ohh that's cool!

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Got 'er dun.

Yep, ol' girl had an intake leak, right side, big'in too I bet.

Purrin like a 67 caddy now. No missing at 1500 rev's.

 >>/4652/
> What leven are you now?

We are all level 2 but we have enough XP for level 3. We just finished a big quest with a big payout and we need to go back to Neverwinter. Ashley just leveled through special means, so that does open the door for you all to level and not have to go all the way back to Neverwinter but it was very special circumstances and she's still stuck with the copper plate because that comes from the guild. Since we have Freya with us, she "pulled some strings".

Yes! We also got title achievements with associated bonuses owed to us upon leveling and Joy is considering giving you all some upon leveling.

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We faught a ghost! It had some really annoying attacks, posession of course was the biggest issue. Thankfully Bear was immune to posession and Joy said Yulya is too because of "SheShe's blessing". Also Ashley is already technically possessed, she is a curse, and has a demigoddess attachment so no ghost can unravel all that. Freya on the other hand didn't have such protection and Bear had to use non-leathal knockout on her which lowered her to 0hp even though he hit for more. Technically you can't do that with anything but blunt weapons or unarmed. He has his great maul.

The ghost was also tough because it has resistance to most things so half damage. We sent it back to the ethereal plane permanently. 

We're on level 3 of this dungeon looking for the orb, there was a rumor of a "mad wizard".

The ghost was CR4 and 1100 exp! It also opened with a move that made half of us "Frightened" which was lame because we had disadvantage on hit and other rolls.

We really need to level up, we're overdue to 3rd level.

We're at least 4 days away from Neverwinter and have quests here so if Ashley can level us that would be awesome. She's untrained though so it could be tricky and who knows what'll happen next with her. I like the soft fleshy Ashley Panther, I don't personally want a T2 Panther as a friend to my Panther form I'm getting as a druid.

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 >>/4757/
Ashley and Yulya immune to possession
Good to know!
What about Alice?
Can a ghost possess something that's not technically alive and has no soul?

> Bear had to use non-leathal knockout on her
Ah yes, the famous 'zero force slap'

> ghost has resistance
I assume it was immune to most attacks. Can you literally beat a ghost if you try hard enough?

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 >>/4759/
> Can a ghost possess something that's not technically alive and has no soul?

I have gleaned the following with a little research Re: no soul
More information from you is required:

1. You can't astral project.
2. Necrotic damage still applies
3. You cannot be raised if you cease to function.
4. Immune to "Magic Jar"
5. If your body has soul hosting capability then you can be processed. Dwarven automations are said to have the capacity to carry a soul but that soul had no will over the automation.
6. If you can be "knocked unconscious" then there must necessarily be a "conscious": a mind as complex as any humanoid.
7. You cannot be resurrected
8. No dreams
9. You may not call yourself a demon, devil or genie
10. You are excluded from certain planes such as the astral plane and negative plane.
11. There is conjecture that you would be considered undead and that does make some interesting connections but I reject it as undead implied capable of dying implies life beforehand, life always contains spirit or it would be a limited chemical reaction so you cannot be turned or become undead.
12. If your character truly possesses no soul, then it has something functionally similar; a more powerful animating spirit or complexity akin to a soul. An animating spirit is separate from the soul, this is how the body can live without the soul. 
13. Both body and soul have identical access to memories.
14. In 5e, you would be excluded from learning anything or comprehending new information.

Please State the nature of this software or hardware. What gives you the ability to learn and comprehend?

15. 5e treats the soul as the repository of all learning and memories, this is for the purpose of raise dead and resurrection so no memories are lost. 

If you do not have a brain either, then where/how are your memories stored? 

> I assume it was immune to most attacks. Can you literally beat a ghost if you try hard enough?

It is half in the astral plane and half in the material plane so it can be damaged on the material plane but it doesn't die, instead I presume it is pushed back to the astral plane.

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We're in a dungeon that's way above our level. We came across flaming skulls I forget what their official name is, they had around 40hp but knew third tier magic. 4 skulls would cast fireball each, and they were immune to fire and a lot of other stuff but not physical attacks.

Anyway they had nothing but fire based magic. Wouldn't you know, Freya also has nothing but fire based magic and is immune to fire.

Well she can also throw a dagger.

It took her 10 minutes, that's 100 rounds to down them all. They couldn't hurt her but she had to do the whole thing naked or her clothes and equipment would have surely been destroyed.

Cheesiest encounter ever. SheShe only gave her 1/8th the xp with no bonus for 4 enemies because she just threw her dagger at them a hundred times.

In another room we found these huge metal scorpions just sitting there idle. We then found a secret door and there was an unconscious guy in there with a control ring. Well now Ashley has a control ring and two huge metallic scorpions to command.

Then we saw an iron golem...

Damage Immunities Fire, Poison, Psychic; Bludgeoning, Piercing, and Slashing from Nonmagical Attacks that aren't Adamantine

> 210hp
> ac20
> weapon attack +13

Luckily we passes stealth or that would have been very one sided.

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I sent my boss an email with 2 attachments. But I confused them and sent him 2 pics of anime girl memes instead. Probably from this place. I was lucky it wasn't any nazi stuff Alice posted. They were harmless, one was pic related but the girl was wearind white and with black text I couldn't read. The other was a portrait of red haired girl with an orange sunset
background. No text.

I saw the images in the sent email, they were very large and vivid. That was awkward. I thought about how to explain this but boss replied to the mail without mentioning anything.
Whew!

So much for my boring buerocrat dreams. That was already the pinnacle of excitement. No Bear-tier dreams ever.

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 >>/4669/
Hilarious!

I was in an office, but it was my day job office, only it wasn't it was huge.

Well Putan, the leader of Russia, was in the same building his "country" was a "company" and he was the president of the company. He was kind of a trickster and was following me on his tiptoes, I turned and greeted him respectfully, I maintained respect and was friendly to him. He was smiling and talking like "this is my office as well."


Well, then he invaded our space and took over my office. I was packing up my computer and papers so our technology didn't fall into Russian hands and he was asking me why I was leaving. I said because this isn't our space anymore.

They literally opened a hole in the wall between my office and a storage room and expanded the storage room presumably into my office. Him and two white Russian dudes, speaking Russian, though Putin knew English. 

It's fine, I simply went to another common space office and put my stuff down. 

I was talking with my fictional manager who didn't think we should let him invade but also didn't believe he had succeeded, I said, "ask the Crimeans."

No hot chicks to F this time.

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 >>/4723/
lmao whats with pootin in everyones dreams? but thats basically russia in a nutshell

i had some weird dream about being invaded by somali pirates complete with parrots sabres and pirate hats. that was odd how did they get here it made no sense. couldnt understand what they were saying or what they wanted but they didnt threaten anyone and then sailed away with their ship. on the road.

 >>/4787/
Sorry posted in wrong thread

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 >>/4788/
I was a foriegn dignitary, very old, round glasses, balding, tall the thin, lanky wity a cheap suit. 

I was in Russia, and was talking to a Russian girl, teens to twenties, cute blonde. 

She told me something that would help get Putin out of office and stop the war. I told her I'd forget so she said, "what could make you remember?"

I said, "have sex with me."

You know the rest, she even was saying "dah, dah, dah."

Three ways, woke up forgot what it was I was supposed to remember.

 >>/4504/
Organs are super awesome and were the most complex human-made devices until the early 20th century. An organ essentially is a huge mechanical computer full of logic circuits. Operated by air going through valves instead of electricity through transistors. It can have several ten-thousand pipes (yes indeed) which can be combined by a set of stops or registers (the knobs at the side). They are mechanical switches determining which and how many pipes are activated when you press a key on one of the keyboards. It's insanely complicated and the biggest organs were operated by dozens of people. 
Nowadays much is automated by electronic switches. 

The keyboards are called manuals and control a set of pipes called ranks that are equivalent of an entire instrument. Theres also the pedal clavier for bass. An organ is literally a medieval synthesizer capable of producing a huge repertoire of sounds. Extremely powerful sounds from infra- to ultransonic. Far more than any modern speaker. At the cost of size, complexity and cost.

Unfortunately I know virtually nothing about music, can't play an instrument or even read notes. But this is high-tier science.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/JeB3JnKp8To

 >>/4536/
Wow I had no idea that's amazing!! The guy must have awesome muscle memory to do so much with hands and feet.

 >>/4490/
Four Bear sisters in a far off land... Can you spot them all?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=y1PlUThxES0

It's just good music.

[Ashley] Yeah, fuck those donkey raping shit eaters for banning a good song.

[Gwen] It'll always live on in our hearts.

[Freya] I'm the Asian one, not in my current form, but my original form.

 >>/4731/
Yes I know this video!
Isn't it nice?

Germans keep singing AUSLÄNDER RAUS so nobody dares to play the song at public events.

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I was coming home but my home was a sort of bar with a TV. Friends were sitting there and celebrating Trump's election victory with cheers. The results had just come in. It only lasted a few seconds but was very realistic and vivid. That was before that debate btw. And I don't really care much anout Trump I live on the opposite side of the world from the US. No Cat either.

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Ah I remember your pillbugs. Weird. They're not a problem here, it's rare for them to eat plants but they're a different species and don't curl up.

Harvested cherries, there's a lot this year after almost nothing last year because there was heavy rain and cold during the flowering period. We only harvested a little because no idea what to do with all the cherries. It's a lot of work to remove the stone and occasional maggots of the cherry fly

They look beautiful but don't taste like much. We froze some and made jam from the rest just cooking the fruit to preserve them. It can be added to our yogurt or as a chocolate cherry pancake filling but the usefulness is limited. 

We also had tons of raspberries but they are infested by fruit flies since a few years so they're all full of maggots as soon as they are ripe and liquefy smelling like vinegar.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drosophila_suzukii

You can't do anything against this as the fruit flies lay their eggs when the raspberries turn red and they develop within days. So you can't use pesticides. Only a fine netting would help. We'll have to try next year. Sucks, I like raspberries more than cherries but we only ate a few half-ripe ones and threw away the rest.

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Those monarch catapillars ate all the baby milkweed plants now there's a dozen on the big one.

 >>/4718/
Is that all the milkweed? They'll eat up everything!

Saw fireflies today, at least 4 in the garden and dozens in the park. There are lots this year! They only fly for about 1h at dusk starting around 10pm. But impossible to photograph. They're ugly anyway.

 >>/4728/
> Is that all the milkweed? They'll eat up everything!

And in our hubris, we thought only humans consume without thinking of the future, yes they ate everything, all the seedlings, all the leaves, they're chewing on seed pods now so even new seeldings won't be sewn. When will they ever learn, when will they ev-ever-learn...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=PS3-lyqCl80

Where has all the milkweed gone... long time passing...

 >>/4730/
It's a common human misconception that nature is about balance or even reason. Most creatures inevitably destroy their own habitat if left uncecked. The only thing that prevents them from doing so are predators and diseases. It doesn't always iron itself out however. Not just animals, even plants and bacteria. The invention of photosynthesis by cyanobacteria caused 2 of the most massive environmental catastrophes ever, the Great Oxidation Event and probably Snowball Earth, eradicating almost all early life.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Oxygenation_Event
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowball_earth

Caterpillars killing their hostplant and starving isn't uncommon btw, it's often seen in Birdwings. The older larvae move down the vine they feed on an gnaw it off at the base. The entire plant dies with all younger caterpillars on it. Don't ask me what's the evolutionary advantage of that.
https://images.peabody.yale.edu/lepsoc/jls/1970s/1975/1975-29(2)85-Straatman.pdf

 >>/4413/

1. I have considered giving their character cards, as I gave the rothé card before, for this battle but I thought it would be more exciting without it.

2. I was considering giving you their HP total as you take them down rather than being descriptive as the Rothé battle. I think you need it because these two will have some shenanigans that might make it very confusing including healing and other odd effects at their class and level and equipment. 

Unless said otherwise I'm leaning toward giving you all this in this round. It won't effect your current round but it may affect how you battle them in the coming rounds. 

I could post them with spoilers but their HP is going to have to be displayed I think. Later you may encounter a dozen enemies at once and without knowing their HP and current HP it will add extra difficulty. 

Justification: You should be able to look at some creature and estimate their HP, you know their injuries and the damage, so it is reasonable to be able to know their current HP.

Cat called a shot, "scratch to the face" and I did some research. If she got a critical hit, the location of the deep wound would be that place.

I don't think we should be calling shots as a regular thing though. It sounds gimmicky.

So I would like to give it a purpose and a penalty.

This is akin to disarming. If you call out the sword hand to make them drop it.

Disarming is something not everyone can do. It is a feature of a Battle Master fighter. They get superiority die.

So if you want to call your shots, then I want to at least give the hit less chance of striking or have less impact. So it could be -d4 to hit or -d4 to damage but then you get to call the shot and in the case of claws to the face, in the future it would have a chance to blind. To the sword hand it would have a chance to disarm. In the leg it would limit speed for a number of turns etc.

Comments?

 >>/4597/

I want to mention that blunt arrows are available, they weigh twice as much and have half the published distance but do great against skeletons since they're weak to blunt damage. They're the same cost per bundle but only come in packs of 10 for that price instead of 20.

When you want to throw a rock but you have a bow and arrows, why not combine them! The damage is the same but obviously one is piercing and the other is bludgeoning.

 >>/4645/
> weigh twice as much
Cat already is the pack mule. We need a cart to carry everything around. We will definitely get those arrows though

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Bear's Super busy again, as weekends usually are.

Meanwhile in Faerûn...

Well above Neverwinter, just East of the Wood, rumors have it that there's a "oracle" in a buried wizard tower hundreds of feet underground. While clearing the associated dungeon, we found nothing and gave up only to realize that Ashley's level up was the clue. She leveled while asleep in a small ruined library. So we're headed back to tear that library apart in search of a hidden passage. We need to level to 3 and we need to figure out how Ashley did that without paying! 

[Gwen] Our theory is that there must be treasure near enough to the oracle to have auto-paid the 20gold.

We're off, back to the stinky goblin dungeon to find the "oracle" and negotiate with a white dragon wyrmling to get it far enough away from the nearby town so she doesn't later cause them trouble. Even a wyrmling would be next to impossible for us, so we need to give her something she wants, who knows what that might be.