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 >>/7099/

Okay, NOW I understand why you want Hitler back.

> German court gives woman harsher punishment than convicted rapist for calling him 'disgraceful pig' The woman was found guilty of defaming the man, who was convicted for gang-raping a 15-year-old girl in Hamburg in 2020.





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Welcome to the Sword Coast! See: 
 >>/3440/

Where we last left our champions, they're in Phandalin, looking to sell and rest before they go looking for Gundren Rockseeker and his guard Sildar Hallwinter. In the South, there's an ominous rise in attacks by Bandits and wild creatures alike, there's been a giant dragon spotted and conjectures range from green to white to humanoid shapeshifter and there's been strange sightings of all sorts mixed in, muddying the waters of truth.

The current time is 20:30 and the current date is Spring 10th, Brightened Receiving 1296, it's currently clear, with a beautiful quarter moon that is waxing. In Neverwinter the current temperature is 7C which is oddly cold for spring, while here in Phandalin, the current temperature is 1C, striking home the notion that something terribly wrong has occurred or is occurring. 

Our heroes are about to delve into "the mouth of the beast", a goblin den responsible for ambushing traders and travelers alike. 

https://youtube.com/watch?v=EApZmmYg_oQ
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 >>/7006/
Alice attacks Bandit #1 from stealth with her spear [A 1d20+1d4+5=(15,20)] and hits for [1d8+3=7] damage. She then continues with two more unarmed blows using 1DP [A 1d20+1d4+5= (13,24),(11,26)] landing both blows on Bandit #1 and #2 [1d6+3=(7,8)] She downs Bandit #1 and squarely hits Bandit #2 before they even know what's happening.

 >>/6998/
Yulya steadfastly refuses to take action against humans.

The remaining three Bandits, surprised but not helpless, draw their weapons, flank and attack Alice.
[A 1d20+3=(4,19)(11,5)(7,14) vs AC14] Two land blows with their short swords for [1d6+1=7,2] Alice takes 9 damage. 

Ashley calls Rally Growth
Mr. and Mrs. Bigglesworth and Helga arrive, set up flanking and attack the bandits. 
[A 1d20+1d4+4=(18,9),(17,13),(28C,16)] [1d20+1=4,19,14 vs DC14] 

Mr. Bigglesworth claws Bandit #3 and hits for [1d4+2*1.5= 4 damage]
Mrs. Bigglesworth claws Bandit #4 and hits for [1d4+1*1.5= 6 damage] the bandit passes out from the pain and is near death.

"Yay Mrs. Bigglesworth!" Ashley exclaims in excitement.

Helga claws Bandit #2 [She was not in position to pounce.] and hits for [1d4+2=4 damage]

Bandit 2 and 3 are still going strong but are surrounded.

One of the bandit uses an whistle and blows it as hard as he can, piercing the ears of the cats but they're otherwise unaffected and unfazed.

The trader stops in his tracks watching in surprise, takes out a sling and hesitates before lofting a shot toward the bandits.

[D 1d20+2=(16,19)] He hits bandit #2 for [1d4=4] The bandit is hit in the right shoulder nearly causing him to drop his weapon, but he stubbornly survives.

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 >>/7023/
> Helga claws Bandit #2 [She was not in position to pounce.] and hits for [1d4+2=4 damage]

Helga had a critical hit and did 8 damage, not 4.

> The bandit is hit in the right shoulder nearly causing him to drop his weapon, but he stubbornly survives.

The bandit is hit in the right shoulder, and drops into the soft snow, downed by the trader's lucky shot.

Only Bandit 3 remains, he's the one who blew the whistle.

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 >>/7024/
Cat moves her max distance toward the last bandit but lets the others deal with him. Shooting him might endanger Alice. She will only shoot if all others fail to down him as last resort. She calls out to the trader showing her plate
Nyaa you alright Nya? Nice shot Nya! We're adventurers from Neverwinter Nya! Glad to help Nya!



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This document represents the added and changed rules for this campaign: 

 >>/3440/

I will update with a new rev and notify you here instead of clogging up the other threads in the future.

https://cryptpad.dismail.de/teams/

I couldn't upload it here for some reason so I uploaded it there.
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 >>/6968/
> Hmm, on a flat paved road yes sure. On a gravel or muddy dirt road or even slightly uphill - not for long. Surely not all day long. Maybe some skinny but ultra-tough Vietcong fighter or a concentration camp inmate at the price of dying after a few weeks could but I still seriously doubt that. Don't underestimate friction.

[Ashley] Alice, I can summon Mechathereal Lynxes. Let's suspend disbelief a little. 5x carry capacity vs 2x max carry capacity

If it's 100 (unencumbered) x5 -> 500
If it's 300 (max) x2 -> 600

There's not much difference.

> For a human pulling a cart, a reasonable estimate would be in the range of 200 to 400 pounds (90 to 180 kg) for a short distance on a flat, paved surface.

[Bear]
The OSHA here says I can only lift 51 lbs safely and it's discounted if I'm asked to lift it regularly. Fucking weaklings.

[Joy] You don't want to keep arguing this and neither do I.

PHB pg 176
"You can push, drag, or lift a weight in pounds up to twice your carrying capacity (or 30 times your Strength score). While pushing or dragging weight in excess of your carrying capacity, your speed drops to 5 feet. Up to twice your carrying score. So you have normal movement up to your carrying capacity (15x strength)"

I have interpreted this as: default for Cat would be 540 lbs 18x30 dragging a load When you add wheels, it's much easier.

I am allowing cat to pull a maximum of 1128lbs total (twice her carry capacity) while on a 4 wheeled cart. This includes (and would need to be subtracted) the weight of the cart and her equipment whether worn or not. I'll let Bear school you on horsepower and geometry.

[Bear] Believe it or not, a person has about 1.2 horsepower, an athlete has 2.5 horsepower. A horse has 15 horsepower.

[Bear] So let's assume we're all athletes in the game a draft horse can pull 8000 lbs reliably over long distances in a cart (15 HP even less over long distances but this is conservative for this calculation) if a person like cat has 2.5 HP that's 1,333 lbs. Joy is suggesting 1128, it's not unreasonable.

[Ashley] Yeah! Stop complaining if you can't do the maths and don't ask AI anything, it's trained on internet morons.

 >>/6971/
> Believe it or not, a person has about 1.2 horsepower, an athlete has 2.5 horsepower. A horse has 15 horsepower.
but how much power has one horse squared?

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 >>/6971/
I just think your 1000 lbs cart breaks game mechanics and makes things too easy but whatever. You're the DM.

> Let's suspend disbelief a little
Things must make sense according to the inherent rules of the system. Not following the rules is the first step towards communism. Do you want communism in D&D?





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Someone asks, "what are you trying to makifest in life?"

Naturally I want the death of 99.9% of all humans, so I'm trying to manifest WW3 and I'm making solid ground. So I say, "I'm trying to manifest WW3."

It wasn't a popular statement. You know who liked it? EXGF, she was like "YEAH!" 

We may not be together in certain ways, but this is my people, the misanthropists.

It's good to have friends who understand me.

I regret that there's only 8 billion people, I would have liked to imagine that we could kill more, but alas, we can't have everything.

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 >>/6855/
> WW3
based
Did you ever notice this in my .info profile?

Host's friends would also find that, well, an ordinary statement. I'm actually glad we don't really know people who would seriously ask such hippie questions like 'where do you see yourself in 10 years'.

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Aaaand another muslim terror attack on a German Christmas Market, this time in the city of Magdeburg.
It was an elderly Saudi psychiatrist doctor and apparently a conspiracy schizo rather than a jihadist. Still plowed through people with his car like a good islamist. At least 2 dead, up to 60 injured. And this after those markets are heavily guarded by police, fenced off and protected by concrete barriers against exactly those car attacks which happen regularly.
I don't feel sorry. People cheered for the arriving 'refugees' 10 years ago. This is what they deserve for promoting Diversity


 >>/6892/
Crazy
What was this guy about? He was anti-islam so he committed a terrorist attack against Germans? I mean those guys are all crazy but this is a new level



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 >>/6806/
lol

hows shooting going Alice?
was at a competition today in full gear. weather was Phandalin tier -2°C light snow. was still sweating. and i wasnt even carrying plates.

we should join Finnish Brutality. i would love to go but i checked and you need results in 3 official practical shooting matches to join. never been to one not even got IPSC cert. do you?
its all so fucking expensive and im afraid to get disqualified for some needless shit. but it must be insane
https://youtube.com/watch?v=eIPLg6-8QyQ

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 >>/6829/
> not even got IPSC cert. do you?
Yes.
But haven't been on a serious IPSC match above lv.1 in years. As you said, too expensive, too stressful. No fun at all. Paying several hundred € admission fee and even more for ammo just isn't worth it and I don't like rushing. I'm also really not good at shooting under time constraints.

Finnish Brutality sounds cool but get real. That's pretty much the top of the top. Way above my league. Also what are you complaining about? You got awesome outdoor ranges and can use military ranges as well. No such thing here. I have to go to CZ for any serious outdoor shooting.




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These events take place starting one season prior to your campaign in the winter in Neverwinter Woods. Bear rescues Gwen, single handedly defeating two bandits while Gwen is bound. 

After they've rizzed each other up a while Bear decides he should train Gwen in Stealth, he's a custom Ranger heavy Nordic with 1d12, rolled 18 strength  boosted it +2 for backstory and human, weilding a heavy maul, but mostly Ranger spec and Gwen is an Avariel Elf with a completely unique class with elements of Bard, Cleric, Druid and Wizard 1d6 magic user type but all her cantrips are illusionist. She's built to scout and escape encounters.

So Bear's teaching her Stealth in the forest and SheShe [DM and playful God] rolls an encounter on them, looks up random 1d100 list and it's goblins arguing about treasure. 1d5+1 rolled 6 goblins. The difficulty is 150 exp which is hard for a couple lvl 1's but Gwen doesn't even have a weapon because she "can't weild steel" so the dagger and short sword they got from the bandit loot weren't useful. She'd be stuck throwing rocks and her wings were trimmed by the babdits to prevent escape. They won't be flight ready for a month at least. 

So they roll a 1 on Stealth to escape detection, which is a disaster. Anyway, it's near dusk but the goblins all have dark vision (who doesn't) so since they couldn't escape and furthermore rolled 1 the goblins "heard something". They all roll perception (-1) against Gwen's stealth because you have to roll vs the weakest party members but thankfully Gwen has 18DEX bc her rolls were Cat tier. Only two goblins "see something" and walk toward them.

Next turn, Bear and Gwen try to escape again and barely manage it, two Goblins were striking range (10ft) with initiative but thankfully they escaped, passing two rolls (one for each actively seeking goblin). 

It was crazy stressful for Bear thinking he was going to be out in scene 3.

[Ashley] Bear better frigging survive the season, I want to rizz him up too goddamnit.

More tales will follow!
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I will once again say that, keeping my system well fed and exercised is so much easier with this game. It's our wonderland, it gives everyone something to do and a place to interact. To think Autumn had no reason to talk to Gwen before this, no reason to talk to Misha (Freya) either, I was her only friend in that way now she has Ashley and Gwen and everyone else and she's just morw vibrant. Everyone is. They've been dusted off and polished.

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Bear and Joy's ultra dirty safeties off run became very tense when they faced off against an Owlbear with 92 HP at level1 and level2 respectively.

There in an unknown forest only 34 years past the Earthkin rebellion when Joy was a mere 148 years old so  2132 on the Gregorian calendar.

Why is she only level 2 at 148 years old? It never came up. She's a Rogue, having learned her trade on the streets of a pre-rebellion city, hidden from society. As old as she was and still in a child's body, she was subject to harassment for not being in school, having false documents and all kinds of other issues as a result. Her genetic trait, once accepted by law, became a myth and a lie to modern society.

Anyway, she survived the last 34 years in the wild, living at first off the remnants of society and later off field mice sleeping in makeshift shelters in a fishing net hammock in the trees.

Bear was a post rebellion kid, a member of an Eartkin tribe who wasn't accepted because he was only half Earthkin, a child of the rebellion itself, and though he was raised like an Earthkin, they eventually made him 2nd class for not being a true Earthkin. He left when he came of age and also rummaged through the remnants of a lost society. He learned from books and became a Ranger Tinkerer.

So he had to leave the ruins due to the increase in strange creatures threatening to kill him and traveled two seasons West in search of a settlement he could join. 

One morning he heard a bear and a girl yelling, investigated, and found Joy in a tree menaced by a large grizzly about to knock down her tree and have Joy for breakfast. With his makeshift bow and arrows, he harassed the bear from a sturdier tree only to end up in the same situation. 

Thankfully, Joy decided to help him and after funding a new tree she threw rocks at the bear, but soon ran out of rocks and while getting more was certain to be caught by the bear. Bear risked his life again to taunt and attack the bear and the two of them managed to whittle the bear down until he was ultimately defeated by Joy's daggers.

However she fled due to stranger danger.

Bear field dressed the bear and left Joy meat and she stalked him as a curiosity as she'd not seen another person in 33 years.

Because the ruins contained hidden dangers, Joy became "virulent" and likely would have died without Bear's help. Over 6 days, he took care of her and gained her trust.

Virulence is a condition you have a small chance to get from ruins at this time. She had only a 3% chance to get it.

Bear, with a new friend, spent days making a semi-permanent shelter but with the absence of this large bear to defend his territory, an Owlbear moved in, disrupting their otherwise secure den.

So they set to work to take it down, after Joy's recovery they spent days collecting regionally, seasonally appropriate poisons including nightshade and amanita and along with a hunk of meat from a buck they hunted, they made a poisoned snack for the Owlbear.

A dozen lucky crafting, tracking and stealth checks later they managed to get the Owlbear to the bait and he ate it. The intense mixture of three poisons had three different DC and attribute checks, he failed them all and his hitpoints were cut in half.

With freshly poisoned and sharpened arrows, and blades, they attacked the Owlbear. He caught Joy first up a tree and one-shotted her with a critical hit, he could have killed her right there, and now, down to teens of health from their efforts, Bear had to fight him alone. The Owlbear was within 10 feet of Bear with a +10 to hit and huge damage, Bear was a couple bad rolls away from being disemboweled. But landed hits with just enough to down him.

It was harrowing.

So in this timeline, this is the first meeting between Joy and Bear, but since our fates are intwined it won't be the last. They will continue until Bear is killed or otherwise dies. 

We're doing the whole lock merge thing so we're all enjoying being Joy alone with Bear, it's cute and funny especially with Misha (aka Freya) as the DM and storyteller.

 >>/6675/
How did you obtain the poison? Is this basically like foraging? A poisoned bait might be useful but I cannot produce poison until I reach my next form and I am an alien with no idea about the local ecosystem. I could just try out potential poisons on myself. Does Cat have the skill to find poisionous plants and mushrooms?

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 >>/6686/
He's a tinkerer Ranger so he can craft poison if he can find or procure 1/3 the cost of the finished product in materials, so basically the materials themselves, in this case through foraging. He needs to roll the alchemy skill and other rolls, many rolls, but since it just takes time he can take as long as he wants and keep trying, aside from chance encounters with a much higher chance of encountering this Owlbear. But it's dead now so he can make whatever he wants now. The luck involved in it doing that much damage to the Owlbear was phenomenal. The Bear system luck is legendary

 >>/6690/
Joy and Bear also have a decelerated healing which would then give some incentive to do something to help it along.

< 1/2 health +1 hit die/hour 
< 3/4 health +1 hit die/2 hours
< full health +1 hit die/8 hours

They aren't required to have rest to regenerate in this way however, they just must not be starving.



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Also her host I guess.

We all like to tease Alice a lot but we still have to remember, though she's an OP metal shifting terminator loli demon from the moon, she's also a person with feelings (she is right?) so let's all praise the wise, loving, caring, beautiful Dr. Alice Chan and her host (presuming he has feelings? He's German right? I really think he would but I can't be sure, or a sense of humility or humor.)

Once again, thanks for this wonderful site where we can all play and raz eachother but not in a mean way or in a way that should actually hurt feelings but help eachother in a tough love sort of way bc chan site culture.

Join me here and give them some damn appreciation you savage speer chucking sausage loving gay ass mongoloid mentally ill basement dwellers (and whoever the hell anon is, fuck him too.) This is Alice's site, show some respect for once in your pleb life.

Thank you Alice and host.

[Misha] ♡♡♡

[Ashley] coolest fucking tulpamancer hands down, no contest

(Beat pic I could find, sorry)
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 >>/3325/ 
Maxed out here 
 >>/4494/
In just over 3 months.

So here we are.

What we thought we were going to play, D&D. What we actually played, Divas and Drama.

Having a blast and making friends for over 3 months, congrats everyone.
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 >>/5840/
> [Ashley] how hard is it to convert everything to copper, divide by 8 round down then choose from available coins to hand over?

What do you want from me, I don't have a PhD in math to carry out such complex transforms

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 >>/5848/
Bear said "too much fuck shit happened" for me to have any time. The forcast for tomorrow is "likely more fucking shit" but I will get top priority at the mid-night time.

Bear was under a lot of stress doing something that was technically difficult that he'd never done before. He managed to somehow do it perfectly as Bear is known to do.

Good show!

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 >>/5848/
> 130IQ research scientist
> can't simplest math
How?

I thought Olga would scout North but I guess that's up to Alice! Off into the cold creek you go!

I say we let Alice scout N. Then we assemble near the entrance where Ashley is. Cat uses her ring of obscuring to make a fog cloud at the entrance, from there we shoot eveerything inside. Then we enter together. I don't think it's good to split up. We need to stay together and cover each other. But first we need to know whats going up North.

 >>/5853/
i agree we gorra make sure nothing comes at us from north. then we shoot what we can from the entrance. then we go in and finish the rest. if enemies amass anywhere its molotov time.

Cat is with Ashley and not at the camp fire but it doesn't really matter.

 >>/5854/
> Cat moves to Ashley


Ok thank to the Alice sumbarine we know we have 2 ways they could come at us from north that's not good. We still need to finish off the guys in the cave first. I say we firebomb wolves and goblin leader and range attack as long as we can. We must prevent Ashley's summons from being wiped out early.

Cat moves and casts fog
Alice throws the bomb
Yulya casts sacred flame

4 summons attack the 3 goblins



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This thread will handle questions from me to you about balance and how you want to play. 

Left up to SheShe and I you may end up being forced into a style of play you don't like so this is why I'm creating this thread.

The first question is about death.

Currently there are a handful of spells that will breath life back into a character again. 

The first is a level 3 cleric spell, Revivify. It requires a diamond worth 300 or more and it must be cast within a minute of death, so within 10 turns in an encounter. Yulya would need to be 5th level to cast this 3rd tier spell. It cannot restore missing body parts.

At 9th level she would have access to raise dead which is a 5th tier spell. It requires a 500 gold diamond. You have 10 days to accomplish this. Again it won't restore missing body parts. It will close mortal wounds. Greater restoration will restore missing parts afterwards. That's also 5th tier.

In any case it takes about 4 long rests to fully restore the person to full working order.

Reincarnation is available through the church and is a druid spell costing 1000 gold plus 1000 gold in supplies and a piece of the victim. It restors everything but will likely change the race of the character as a consequence.

Wish is then the big daddy of all spells and requires a wizard of level 17 and has a 33% chance of never being able to be cast again. It can duplicate any spell or create a custom effect or object up to 25,000 gold in value.

The question is, does the feeling that you could die lessen due to these spells? Say you're 5th level and easily have 300 gold in diamonds at the ready, does it feel like death doesn't matter anymore? Should there be a bigger consequence? Should death be permanent? Should it lower attributes or cost you an ability? 

If you're asking me, the ultimate say of someone lives or dies wouldn't be a simple matter of bad luck. The gods can intervene in special circumstances to say prevent the death of someone in specific and unique circumstances that would rarely come up. A rock can still fall and squish you, but that wouldn't be a completely meaningless act, it would require a dangerous path and other bad choices leading up to that for instance.

Given the pacing in our game, death would still be pretty inconvenient, but Revivify is a very OP in my opinion.

Currently I have put on the safeties and you cannot die outright in one hit other than by a disintegrate spell or dragon breath or other obviously destructive occuances that rip the body apart. Simply being hit by a great maul won't kill you outright even if the damage was 2x your hp. Death still comes after three failed saves over three turns before you are stabilized. So that's already a nerf.

Do you like all that? Or do you want a more hardcore experience? Or do you want to not have to worry about death all together? Let me know.
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 >>/5654/
> It's called "Dungeons and Dragons"
Why did I agree to play this game again? I absolutely hate both! Time to subvert it like host turning AI Dungeon into a field guide for trees. The AI struggled but eventually succumbed. Joy will too.

> The desperate sound of alarm bells can be heard ringing throughout Neverwinter
> An elderly lady is standing crying in her front yard as a large horse cart decorated with the letters NPWC arrives and comes to a screeching halt
> Four heavily armed LV.20 adventurers leap off the cart and run toward the old lady
> Neverwinter Pest and Weed Control at your service! Where are the culprits?
> The old lady sobbingly points at her back yard overgrown with weeds, the trees infested by bugs.
> The adventurers briefly nod to each other and then charge into battle, ripping weeds from the ground and plucking bugs from the trees
> The battle is tense but eventually the adventurers prevail and the yard is cleansed.
> Dirty and tired but mostly unharmed, the adventurers return to their cart and drive off to the blaring sound of medieval music as sudden as they have arrived, leaving the baffled lady behind without charging a copper.
> Having survived another adventure, it's time to relax at the spa and go luxury shopping for the rest of the week, then it's off to the holiday cabin in the woods for the weekend.
> Such is the harsh and grim life of the NPWC adventurers!

 >>/5661/

It'll play a lot easier with just Cat and several Bear system girls. 

Let's see, Cat and Ashley could get caught in a Feywild trap and get teleported to Freya and Gwen. That'd solve a lot.

 >>/5662/ 
Boo!
Adventurers will go on strike then.

Anyway we should probably go with option #2, it's the best compromise. But we need Ashley back as minesweeper, erm, I mean to disarm traps.






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