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 >>/3515/
> "You see Apple Bloom, I... I... been dying my fur white since I was like... 2 years old."

> "What?" Apple Bloom's confusion clouded over her concern as she tried to process the implications of what Sweetie was getting at.

> "Why would your parents do that?"

> Sweetie Belle fell against the ground, eyes downcast.

> Was that tears in her eyes?

> "You don't understand. Nopony knew besides me. You're the first pony I've told ever."

> "But yer said it since yer were 2! How in blue blazes did ya do that since then!"

> "I aways was a bit ahead in my mental development. I remember being in my mother's womb even."

> "What?" Apple Bloom didn't even know how to begin processing this revelation. 

> "How did your parents not notice?" 

> "My parents are both colorblind, so is Rarity, they never said a word."

> 'Rarity is colorblind?'

> "Uh, how do I know yer not just pulling my leg?"

> "Why would I do that?"

> "C'mon, do you really expect me ta believe that?"
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 >>/3516/
> Sweetie Belle looked like she was about to cry.

> "I'm sorry, I just havin' a hard time processin' this. It is kinda hard ta believe ya'know?"

> A small half grin briefly played upon Sweetie Belle's lips.

> "I know it's hard to accept. I couldn't handle being blue either."

> "Why would ya think I couldn't handle ya bein' blue?" 

> Sweetie Belle looked to Apple Bloom.

> "Because blue is such a generic sad color."

> Apple Bloom nearly laughed.

> "Sweetie, there is plenty of ponies who are blue and just fine, beautiful even!"

> "Name one."

> "Trixie, Lyra... LUNA!"

> Sweetie Belle almost seemed a little annoyed.

> "Lyra is just cyan, which is a bastardization of blue and green. Trixie is dumber than even me, and Luna is just sad. Pretty, but sad..."

> Apple Bloom wasn't sure whether she could believe what Sweetie Belle just said, it seem so unlike her.

> Than again there was a certain logic to it.
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 >>/3517/
> "Sweetie Belle, you're not stupid!"

> Sweetie Belle looked up to Apple Bloom with a sad look.

> "You don't think I'm not stupid? I... I told a secret that I kept perfectly since I was a baby. Now that's a stupid move."

> "But I can't stand to hind my secret anymore. Makes me feel sick down to the soul."

> Apple Bloom leaned over and put a foreleg around her friend.

> "I'm still not entirely sure how ta process this but I'm here fer ya Sweetie. Me, and Scootaloo will help ya through this."

> "It's going to be so hard though ta handle it all. All the questions. It'll be awhile till my fur goes back to being blue and it'll be just ugly for  few weeks."

> Apple Bloom didn't know how she'd help Sweetie Belle through it, but she'd be there for her. 

> And she knew what make any young filly feel better.

> "Ya wanna stay fer supper? Granny's making apple pie!"

> Sweetie Belle's mood seemed to lift at the mention of pie.

> "Thanks... Apple Bloom."
 >>/3518/
And there it is. The greatest story ever put to digital paper  sarcasm  Yeah. When I said this was underwhelming I meant it. There really isn't much to say other than I tried to make this fic out of utter desire to make one in an hour. Though it is an early prototype for something else I've been planing for a little while. There is another prototype that is coming fortunately that will  be more worth commenting on ( it's a little strange but more thought out) and I wouldn't said anything if I didn't have something else to bring to the table.
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 >>/3519/
well,I will review it later even though it seems that you have written a little fic that would fit in a short or something. Not a shitposting story like you did with Apple Bloom in the past but more like a short story that would occur around 3 minutes or so.

As for now, I can say that this situation instantly reminded me of the lyrics from this song,only because of the color change.

And this is coming from 1985...
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 >>/3519/
> The greatest story ever put to digital paper
lmao, the sarcasm are very present lately in your posts.

> When I said this was underwhelming I meant it. 
not as much as you may think.

> There really isn't much to say other than I tried to make this fic out of utter desire to make one in an hour.
just an hour....that doesn´t leave much time to consider and reread  what you have written save spitting out all you had in mind. 

> it is an early prototype for something else I've been planing for a little while.
it looks like that because there are a few questions that make me think where you got them and why you would get there.

> There is another prototype that is coming fortunately that will be more worth commenting on ( it's a little strange but more thought out) and I wouldn't said anything if I didn't have something else to bring to the table.
well, that´s up to you in the way you want to promote it. If you feel like accompanying that prototype along with this, well, double the prize I guess.
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so, now I have read it like 3 times and it seems that this story is purely just a little short for a small slice of life animation.Just Sweetie Belle struggling to confess her little secrets to somebody else. I admit that it´s pretty normal to have fears of revealing your personal stuff when you are around the preteen years. 

So, you seem to mock your own content and honestly, save the technical mistakes that the BO would point out better than me, I don´t think there´s anything inherently wrong with it. It´s a little story, not one that serves for a mindless shitpost nor one that makes the cut for making it a highlight. 

In just one hour, well, that´s pretty productive that you wanted to type a mundane dialog and well, you have made the drawing for yourself, at least, you beat all the other fics because of that in that aspect.

Now, you make it sound like it´s underwhelming and if we get a little bit demanding, things could have gone with a more developed path:

why does Sweetie Belle get that worried about having white fur? Yeah, blue is boring for her but, is that the only reason? does she want to keep herself white because of imagery in front of the gallery?

Also, how are her parents color blinded? How does Rarity sleep at nights and face her visual problems while creating the dresses she´s ordered to make? These questions are what confuse me the most even though they try to justify the purpose of this fic.

As for more random things to comment about in a funny way:
> Sweetie Belle almost seemed a little annoyed.
> "Lyra is just cyan, which is a bastardization of blue and green. 
WOW, Sweetie Belle, the board owner is going to have a few words with you. Watch out your mouth if you don´t want to get banned over here.
> Trixie is dumber than even me, and Luna is just sad. Pretty, but sad..."
shitting on these blue ponies that are charming as hell...Sweetie, have you checked your taste at ponies? I don´t think you have the best one out of the bunch.  

> "No, I'm literally blue as the sky." 
Mrs Sweetie Belle, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long. We don´t know why you went wrong. 

> It'll be awhile till my fur goes back to being blue and it'll be just ugly for few weeks."
so you are implying that you are going through the molt that all the dragons do in their own way.I highly doubt it gets as annoying as that.

As for the characterization, I don´t see what´s OOC, definitely not the Apple Family. The southern tone that comes from AJ and the cautiously optimistic attitude from Apple Bloom are on point. 

So if I had to point out what I find underwhelming in it, it would be the rushed concept or explanation behind that lacks a little bit of development (even though I have to take into account that this was written in a very short period of time). The situation by itself seems plausible but I seem to remain in the same position as AB did.
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 >>/3526/ 
 >>/3527/
> lmao, the sarcasm are very present lately in your posts.
I guess it has, hasn't it? I can't think of any reason why, just have had these little quips. 

> So if I had to point out what I find underwhelming in it, it would be the rushed concept or explanation behind that lacks a little bit of development (even though I have to take into account that this was written in a very short period of time). The situation by itself seems plausible but I seem to remain in the same position as AB did.
This is pretty much my thoughts of the story only a more negative view. The story neither capitalized on the seriousness or the surrealness of the situation. It was a bit funny, but it never went to a hight. It would be almost like you were watching a family sitcom and they randomly ran into a bug alien at the store with no explanation and never exploring it ever again, even within the episode's plot. Is Sweetie telling the truth? Is her family really colorbind and did she really dye her fur white from age 2? If she is lying, why? The story feels not mediocre, but mechanical, it was meant to test out the picture format and it being completed in an hour. Though I don't consider it a failure I don't consider it something worthy on its own merits outside the test that it served. As an animation or comic though it could work with the short format with the lack of explanation. 

> WOW, Sweetie Belle, the board owner is going to have a few words with you. Watch out your mouth if you don´t want to get banned over here.
She is a bit jaded for sure, though those were little jokes I came up with on the spot. She sees being blue as bad and was dismissive of Apple Bloom's trying to reassure her. The cyan remark easily being a stolen opinion from Rarity that she just shot out as a quick way to dismiss Apple Bloom. 

> shitting on these blue ponies that are charming as hell...Sweetie, have you checked your taste at ponies? I don´t think you have the best one out of the bunch. 
These things aren't true, but they are easy to portray as so by detractors and perhaps have some kernel of truth depending on your perspective.  I was actually drawing on how Trump would opperate durring the Republican primaries believe it or not. His nicknames such as 'low energy Jeb' and 'llttle macro'. He'd pick one trait that was at least somewhat true, or at least, protrayable and hammer it in with a nickname to the public consciousness  I thought of the trait of sadness especially could be applied in tha way to Luna as a reduction of her character. Trixie, stupidity would be a cheep shot that could be applied, but more than likely her past mistakes would be used to define her than just simple stupidity.
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 >>/3521/
I can see how it remind you. Even if it's a tiny relation sometimes that's all that takes to not only remind you but get it ringing in your head and have a association with the work. My next fic actually was partly inspired by feeling I got from a couple of songs, even if there isn't much of a relation in terms of plot content.
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 >>/3557/
> I can't think of any reason why, just have had these little quips.
if I had to told all the posts in which I had to leave spontaneous thoughts according to the mood one has while shitposting....I would need like the entire weekend to point them all. 

There is a moment when one begins to shitpost with an organic mindset. That´s what one collects in the end for staying away from the typical nature of a chan.

> The story neither capitalized on the seriousness or the surrealness of the situation. It was a bit funny, but it never went to a hight.
that could explain why one would find a lack of emotions out of it. I don´t know what to bring special about it and I suppose that lack of extreme emotions and punch is what left me a bit in the middle of the road. 

> It would be almost like you were watching a family sitcom and they randomly ran into a bug alien at the store with no explanation and never exploring it ever again, even within the episode's plot. 
so basically you are referring that this story is like throwing plot holes at its core that for some reason happen. Yeah, that might explain it because I would have to ask why she didn´t reveal it earlier or showed subtle signs about it. She commented about it so abruptly and got over the situation really soon. If this is a concept  to throw away that simply happens, then the actual plot is in another place, not in this little piece.

> Is Sweetie telling the truth? Is her family really colorbind and did she really dye her fur white from age 2? If she is lying, why?
yeah, you were aware of it before posting it.

> The story feels not mediocre, but mechanical, it was meant to test out the picture format and it being completed in an hour.
it´s certainly confusing to review these pieces. Not only because it´s a test but because the vision and ideas weren´t completely explored nor intended to give a big exposition. With the Revolution fic, at least, I had pretty clear from the start that one should put a serious mindset but for tests that simply happen, one doesn´t know where to land at giving observations. I suppose that for tests there will be no ratings and simply feedback and a few reflections here and there.

> Though I don't consider it a failure I don't consider it something worthy on its own merits outside the test that it served. 
do you think that the good artists, writers, celebrities, etc were born knowing from the start? Just think about all those cringy anthro artists from the early years and how many artists deliver good content these days. I also started with fear at writing and it took me a few months to realize that for securing a good story, the translation offered to me a revision or 2nd thoughts that would make the green more organic than the first idea. 

> As an animation or comic though it could work with the short format with the lack of explanation. 
definitely, it´s simply a spontaneous story that would fit those Hasbro magazines that have little comics thrown around. Either way, filler content is still content and that counts.
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 >>/3557/
> The cyan remark easily being a stolen opinion from Rarity that she just shot out as a quick way to dismiss Apple Bloom.
huh? at what point did she do this? I wouldn´t have guessed that those dismissive lines would come from there. When did it happen in the show? 

> they are easy to portray as so by detractors and perhaps have some kernel of truth depending on your perspective.
I was being ironic with those lines as well just to throw some reflections in a non serious way. But yeah, every detractor will find any aspect to justify its vision. It´s almost like you were exposing your little hater side. I think it fits her. In fact, she screamed: "OH COME ON!" in Hearts and Hooves Day so that´s fair enough.

> I was actually drawing on how Trump would opperate durring the Republican primaries believe it or not. His nicknames such as 'low energy Jeb' and 'llttle macro'. He'd pick one trait that was at least somewhat true, or at least, protrayable and hammer it in with a nickname to the public consciousness
no way you would expect this from politics. The only way to detect politics (explicitly) is by throwing some meme/famous lines that came from their mouths. Otherwise, I would need more context and this doesn´t show anything. 

So basically, you certainly threw those dismissive lines that can perfectly happen in the future. There´s no way to guess that inspiration because that dismissive attitude is so universal and transverse to anybody that I would fail miserably trying to find where it cam from, nor I would give those thoughts in the first place.

> I thought of the trait of sadness especially could be applied in tha way to Luna as a reduction of her character.
understandable and a good point on that part.

> Trixie, stupidity would be a cheep shot that could be applied, but more than likely her past mistakes would be used to define her than just simple stupidity.
well, her past mistakes do expose more her flaws than these days. She still shows them but she doesn´t show that elitism all the time. She has received a development that is reminiscent of Rainbow Dash: from jumping into action without thinking at all to thinking a little bit before doing anything. You compare Boast Busters and No Second Prances and there´s almost no color, much less when she gets to think deeply about something. Not to mention that the fanbase has a very different perspective/appreciation about her than back in the day.
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 >>/3558/
> I can see how it remind you. Even if it's a tiny relation sometimes that's all that takes to not only remind you but get it ringing in your head and have a association with the work. 
eeeyup. Mostly because of the obvious aspect of turning from X to Y color. Not so much on the dismissive aspect but more like the fear of Sweetie Belle trying to reveal her random little secret. It came up right after I read it for the first time and I was reading it on mobile in the middle of the night and that was like the most related work I was familiar with and associate for drawing comparisons to myself.
 
> My next fic actually was partly inspired by feeling I got from a couple of songs, even if there isn't much of a relation in terms of plot content.
everything is a box full of surprises. Not only the fic itself but the roots of inspiration for such imagination or ideas that are reflected on the final product. I didn´t imagine that you had in mind that political mindset which ended up being thrown around here.
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 >>/3566/
> it´s certainly confusing to review these pieces. Not only because it´s a test but because the vision and ideas weren´t completely explored nor intended to give a big exposition. With the Revolution fic, at least, I had pretty clear from the start that one should put a serious mindset but for tests that simply happen, one doesn´t know where to land at giving observations. I suppose that for tests there will be no ratings and simply feedback and a few reflections here and there.

Yeah. Though the next prototype fic is a bit bigger and a bit deeper in meaning, it is still a prototype testing something over a fully realized story.

> So basically, you certainly threw those dismissive lines that can perfectly happen in the future. There´s no way to guess that inspiration because that dismissive attitude is so universal and transverse to anybody that I would fail miserably trying to find where it cam from, nor I would give those thoughts in the first place.

> everything is a box full of surprises. Not only the fic itself but the roots of inspiration for such imagination or ideas that are reflected on the final product. I didn´t imagine that you had in mind that political mindset which ended up being thrown around here.

Yeah. There really is no political meaning other than me taking inspiration from those questionable but effect strategy and applying it to Sweetie Belle in a sad funk just being rudely dismissive.  

> huh? at what point did she do this? I wouldn´t have guessed that those dismissive lines would come from there. When did it happen in the show?

She never made a specific remark in the show but I was just thinking about Rarity's general attitude with colors an fashion. Remember when she was freaking out in boast busters over a green mane and was insulting green as a color? It was something I could imagine Rarity saying, or Sweetie, being subject to long lectures of her older sister on matching colors and what not, just coming up with it on the fly.
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 >>/3600/
> Though the next prototype fic is a bit bigger and a bit deeper in meaning, it is still a prototype testing something over a fully realized story. 
maybe it will get linked in the general and be mentioned as a big bet of yours. Who knows? Just whenever you feel ready to share it, go ahead and we will see.

> there really is no political meaning other than me taking inspiration from those questionable but effect strategy and applying it to Sweetie Belle in a sad funk just being rudely dismissive. 
well, that´s certainly the anti propaganda effect. Nobody would see it into political eyes and it´s more like it comes from her personality. It just simply doesn´t match up all that much to me because I consider it a pretty ordinary reaction that you would consider basically theorize anything that could have annoyed before that conversation. 

> I was just thinking about Rarity's general attitude with colors an fashion. Remember when she was freaking out in boast busters over a green mane and was insulting green as a color? It was something I could imagine Rarity saying, or Sweetie, being subject to long lectures of her older sister on matching colors and what not, just coming up with it on the fly.
yeah, I remember it from Boast Busters. I simply asked for more information because while it seemed that it came from the show, it´s more like an afterthought or implication about the backstory from this moment in particular (well, not necessarily that one but anything similar that would lead to this reaction).

I needed a little bit more of info for these two aspects that inspired you. 

The fic isn´t extraordinary at all but for sure,it offers more stuff behind it than I would have expected.
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> Apple Bloom just sat there.

> It felt like an entirety, yet each moment felt like yesterday.

> All at once.

> Apple Bloom turned to her thoughts.

Those drawings I made yesterday sure were strange.
> Apple Bloom was suddenly in the back right behind her family home.

> Tucked away in the shadow cast by the barn, she sat on her belly.

> A stick in her mouth, she mindlessly drew lines in the dirt.

> Though they didn't have any rhyme or reason to them at first, they has taken a rather strange turn.

> Poorly drawn fish, walking on their fins, killing each other with spears.

> It was something Apple Bloom had first found amusing.

> But it dawned her how... weird it was to like it?

> She had even tried to draw the gory bits.

> Granted it look that gory the way it was primitively rendered, but it was the thought that counts.

> For better or worse.
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 >>/3835/
> Apple Bloom continued to sit up in her bed.

> It was thirty minutes past her bedtime.

> Well, she wasn't really breaking any rules, since she was in bed.

> Just not asleep. 

> Why was she losing thought over it?

> It was just drawings in the dirt.

> But it was the desire behind it that disturbed her.

> She wanted to explore it further.

> Why?

> Some part of her wondered if she had some sort of mental issue, with a admitted fear to herself of her being prone to violence somehow.

> Even disregarding that, art as a pursuit outside of simple foalhood crafts was alien for her.

> At least to the creative spark she felt now.

> Apple Bloom finally laid down in her bed.

> Maybe sleep would provide her the answers she seeked?
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 >>/3836/
> "Apple Bloom..."

> "Apple Bloom..."

> Apple Bloom's eyes fluttered open. She felt the grass beneath her body. 

> Slowly a vague white form took shape before her.

Sweetie Belle!
> Apple Bloom hurried to her hooves. She was in a grassy field, a brief glance behind her revealed  the town below the hilltops: Ponyville.

> When Apple Bloom turned her attention back to her friend, a wide smile greeted her eyes.

> Sweetie Belle was normally bubbly but she seemed especially happy today.

> "What's up Sweetie Belle?" 

> "Ready for the hike?" Sweetie Belle asked as Apple Bloom suddenly noticed that she was waring camping saddlebags.

> She was apparently waring them too. She could even feel their weight. 

> She didn't have them on when she had first woken up, did she?

> "Where are we hiking to?" Apple Bloom asked, the first question leaving her mind.

> Sweetie Belle gestured to a large once unnoticed mountain in the distance that cast a a shadow over them.

> It even made Canterlot look puny.

> "It's where the Mare in the Mountain lives!"
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 >>/3837/
> Apple Bloom was unfamiliar with the name.

> "Who's she?"

> Sweetie Belle seemed incredulous.

> "You don't know who she is!? She's like the most awesome mare around!"

> "Sweetie Belle, I... uh," Apple Bloom felt a little awkward not knowing who the Mare in the Mountain was. Made her feel out of the loop.

> "What's she like?"

> "Nah. I'll wait till I can show you! If you don't know what she is like that will make it more fun for when you see her for the first time!"

okay...
> Another thought occurred to Apple Bloom as she looked around.

> "Where is Scootaloo?"

> Sweetie Belle gave her a blank stare, almost as if she didn't understand what she had said.

> Had she been too quiet?

> "Scootaloo left already. She said she'd meet us up at the moutain," Sweetie Belle sad after a too long pause.

> It confused Apple Bloom, though she couldn't say Sweetie wasn't a little dense at times.

> She brushed it off.
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 >>/3838/
> Sweetie Belle walked briskly ahead of Apple Bloom, Apple Bloom following behind, casting a glance or two back at Ponyville.

> Which had an almost unfamiliar quality to it, though she couldn't put her finger on it.

> They moved up the hills. Despite how short a time Apple Bloom had been walking she felt quite tired.

Maybe it was the harvest yesterday?
> No, it was mid spring. What was Apple Bloom thinking?

> Apple Bloom trotted up to catch up to her friend.

> "Are ya sure ya can't tell me what this Mare on the Mountain is?" 

> "Mare in the Mountain, Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle corrected.

> Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. 

Sweetie Belle doesn't have ta act so corrective of grammar. I wish Scootaloo hadn't started teasing her with those dictionary jokes. She's taken it ta heart!
> "Yeah, whatever. Are ya sure ya can't tell me nothing?"

> "Weeeeeeeeeeell, I kinda want to see your reaction. It's cool that you haven't seen her yet and I get to share it with you."

> "Come on Sweetie... Nothing?"

> "I can't tell you much, but let's just say she's like Scootaloo, only much bigger."

> That answer conjured some pretty weird images in Apple Bloom's youthful mind.
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 >>/3839/
> It had been several hours.

> The green grass had given way to the brown and gray rock of the mountain, which they where now just beginning to ascend.

> She felt downright exhausted. The conversations had been scattered and everything had been in a haze.

> She looked wearily at the mountain.

> "How long is this gonna take?"

> "Not too much, the Mare in the Mountain lives in the Mountain, she's only like a quarter the way up in the caves."

> "Look, it's Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle said excitedly.

> Apple Bloom turned her gaze to where Sweetie Belle looked.

> She saw a small dot of orange with a tiny splash of purple color a fair ways up. 

> As Sweetie Belle called enthusiastically the orange object rolled down the mountain side.

> Scootaloo just seemed to roll on down the mountain in a ball shape with her tail and colors being the only things that were still distinct.

> It confused Apple Bloom, but perhaps not as much as it should have.

> "Hi, Apple Bloom. Hi, Sweetie Belle. Glad you could finally make it!" 

> Scootaloo had finally reached them and now looked to be a normal preteen filly.

> Something seemed off but Apple Bloom couldn't put her hoof as to why.
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 >>/3840/
> "Hi Scootaloo! Have you seen this Mare in the Mountain yet?"

> "Yes, though not on this trip, I was still searching for her when you came here," Scootaloo said in a tone, almost with a hint of enthusiasm that seemed too bubbly and unnatural for her.

> "Guess what Scootaloo, Apple Bloom hasn't even heard of her yet!" 

> "You haven't heard of the second coolest mare in all of Equestria?" Scootaloo asked with similar incredibility to Sweetie Belle earlier. 

> "No, I haven't. Still confused to what all the big deal is about."

> "Apple Bloom she is so cool, she's got these awesome wings and fags a-"

> "Scootaloo! Don't spoil it. I want to see the look on Apple Bloom's face when she sees her for the first time since she never even heard of her before."

> Scootaloo looked annoyed at being interrupted.

> "I honestly would like to know at least a little," Apple Bloom said in a pleading, almost whiny tone.

> Sweetie Belle sat down on the ground and pouted.

> "Why do you want to spoil it though? Doesn't seem as fun."

> "Quite acting up! Spoilers make things more exciting!" 

> Scootaloo looked at Apple Bloom for support.

> "Isn't that right?"

> "Well... "

> "No they don't. I hate that you always see all the movies and plays first and go spoil them to us. No matter how many times we tell you otherwise!" Sweetie Belle shot back, glaring.

> "We? I think you mean yourself, Apple Bloom always wants to hear them too, only you beg!"
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 >>/3841/
> Apple Bloom cringed. She didn't like to see her friends fighting, especially in the middle of an adventure. 

> "q-q-quiet y'all will ya?!" Apple Bloom started with a slight stutter before gaining confidence. 

> For whatever reason, Apple Bloom felt a meekness within her that gave her a slight hesitance to act. Usually she'd jump right into the fray and sometimes get dragged right along into it.

> Something else was bugging her but she couldn't put her hoof on it. She felt insecure somehow.

> Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were still giving each other dirty looks.

> "Apple Bloom, do you really want to just wait till we find her before you know what you're getting into?" 

> Sweetie Belle looked at Apple Bloom with a hurt expression.

> "You don't really want to spoil it do you? I want to see your blind reaction to it."

> Apple Bloom didn't know what to say. Sweetie Belle looked like she was about to cry but Scootaloo looked mighty angry. Too angry.

> Sweetie Belle's sadness seemed a bit much, considering she was just fine when she didn't know  Apple Bloom wasn't previously aware of the Mare in the Mountain.

> "Maybe Scootaloo could tell me a little bit but not enough to spoil it?"

> Apple Bloom hoped her proposal would settle it.

> Scootaloo looked with annoyance with Sweetie Belle before saying: "Fine, but don't blame me if we are board out of are minds for the next several hours."
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 >>/3842/
> "Let's eat lunch!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, seemingly back to the happy mood she was in before.

Sweetie is easily distracted I guess?
> Before she knew it, all three of the crusaders were sitting upon the ground eating daisy sandwiches.

> Apple Bloom had eaten about three fourths of her sandwich. Her hunger had gone now as she just nibbled on it while occasionally engaging in light chit chat.

> It was all banal and inane, the usual, some brief mentions of the Mare in the Mountain as per their compromise (apparently she had a fearsome monster like appearance and was relatively tall, though she didn't know how much of that was Scootaloo's exaggerations), and idle talk of their interests.

> At the moment Apple Bloom had taken an interest the dirt, as sometimes would happen when Scootaloo went on (and on) of bragging about Rainbow Dash's latest feat.

> Their was a fairly nice dirt layer here.

> There was a stick near by.

> She wrapped her hoof around the stick and started to make aimless lines in the dirt.

> And then a circle.

> And then she turned that circle into a puffer fish.

> Things went wrong from there.
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 >>/3843/
> Apple Bloom's thoughts where gone from the outside world.

> The dirt was her canvas. 

> Various lines formed upon it, some of which she didn't even remember drawing.

> It was a mix of abstract shapes, fish, ponies shaped like fish, and bladed weapons.

> Some of the bladed weapons were impaled in the fish.

> Some of the fish had bloods and guts everywhere.

> Apple Bloom just smiled to herself. She didn't feel a rage with it. Just a curiosity.

> She knew most ponies would disapprove, especially her family.

> Why did she have to hide something so simple?

> Was that the reason she only drew in the dirt? 

> To hind it from a more permanent medium?

> Remain secret?

> Why?

> Well, as far as she knew, such imagery was probably not normal for a filly of her age.

> And she could see many being angered at violence. 

> It all just felt so off to her.
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 >>/3844/
> Apple Bloom continued to be lost in her work. She didn't really have any recollection of what she had drawn even a few moments ago.

> It was all a haze. Almost like she was dreaming or something.

> Apple Bloom watched as some of the drawings started to move on there own.

> One of the fish began to walk upon its tail fins. Another pulled out a sphere that had been impaled with and began to collect its scattered guts on the ground. 

> The pufferfish began to sing, though she couldn't make out a word it said.

> She felt a little fear of the drawings before her, yet curiosity was wining out.

> The drawings all went about their own affairs, some doing random things and some acting out the scenes they were drawn in.

> Apple Bloom felt briefly very sad and guilt ridden, after all, a lot of them are in pain.

> "Apple Bloom, will you pass the pizza?"

> Apple Bloom turned her gaze away from the drawings. She saw a pizza box next to her.

Since when were we eating pizza
> Apple Bloom hoofed over the pizza box to Scootaloo, it was a rather old looking and unappetizing pizza and it had only a couple of slices left.

> Apple Bloom gazed back at the dancing drawings, only to find them much less active than before.

> Hardly moving, and a fuzz of static.

> Was that her imagination?
 >>/3845/
> "So should we just go looking for her again or do we just sit and wait?"

> Scootaloo's mouth was full of pizza, some of which fell out when she talked.

> Apple Bloom couldn't believe Scootaloo still talked with her mouth full like that. It was gross.

> "I've never come to visit before, so I guess we have to search if that's what you did last time," Sweetie Belle replied.

> Apple Bloom, her attention still divided with her drawings, was slow to reply.

> "Well, I guess that sounds fine... I mean that what ya said before."

> "Well then, come on let's get this show on the road!" Scootaloo said with an excited tone as she hoped to her hooves.

> Apple Bloom got up to her hooves, she glanced at the drawings, wondering to herself whether she should erase them or something.

> But something else soon caught her attention.

> "Look it's her! I think it's her!"

 have no image for here and was meant to be marged with the one above it. 
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 >>/3846/
> A form flew several hooves above the steep path above.

> It made its way down in a graceful, almost showy, manner.

> She did, it clearly was a mare.

> She had a pink coat, a dulled pink with a dark unnatural aura around her. It flowed from her body, barely visible in the air.

> Her wings looked to be of a bat, and her body was tall and slender. Like an alicorn.

> As she grew closer Apple Bloom could make out little details. The fangs she sported on her face. The the feathers that topped her leathery thin her wings.

> She did look scary.

> The Mare in the Mountain flew before them. It took mere seconds but felt like a lifetime to the young Apple Bloom.

> Butterflies were in her stomach. She felt excitement and a little fear.

> Part of her wanted just to run right then and there.

> But the sounds of her friends enthusiasm kept her grounded.
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 >>/3847/
> "It really is you!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "I can't believe you-"

> "What do you have to tell us today!" Sweetie Belle said jumping in a little hop as she interrupted Scootaloo.

> The Mare in the Mountain seemed to smile with a slightly amused smirk, her fangs ever present. 

> "It depends... what brings little fillies like you up here? I don't believe I'm familiar with your small yellow friend here."

> "Oh, that's Apple Bloom we wanted to take her to meet you and you tell us more cool stuff!" Scootaloo said as Apple Bloom tried to muster a nervous smile.

> The mare's fearsome appearance gave her some pause, though she trusted her friends (mostly).

Besides, she doesn't seem that angry or anything
> "Pleased to meet you Apple Bloom. I am Princess Cadence, though most ponies lately have been calling me by a different name now."

> "Haven't we met before... weren't you one of the flower fillies at my wedding?"

> "I... guess I was wasn't I?" Apple Bloom said, though she only had vague recollections of what Cadence was referring to. 

> Like something was familiar just below the surface.
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 >>/3848/
> Cadence smiled at Apple Bloom. It made Apple Bloom a little nervous but it didn't seem to have any ill intent.

> "I can tell one filly here needs my advice."

????
> "Oh is it me?" 

> "Nah, it's probably me Sweetie Belle," Scootaloo said dismissively.

> Cadence for her part seemed to ignore the banter.

> "Only the one will know to herself."   

> Cadence beckoned the fillies to gather around her.

> "Let's begin... what are you doing here? Each of you, why are you here, think of that question and tell me one at a time.

> Scootaloo was the first to answer the question.

> "Because you're cool and awesome! Almost as much as Rainbow Dash."

> Sweetie Belle, after a pause, was next.

> "I just really like to here you talk. You're so insightful! And... uh really like your mane."

> Finally Cadence's eyes once again fell upon Apple Bloom.

> "What about you?" Cadence asked after Apple Bloom didn't speak up.

> "I... uh... really don't know I have one. I was just kinda tagin' along."

> Apple Bloom felt nervous with Cadence's eyes upon her. There was something off with the way she looked at her. Like she knew some secret.
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 >>/3849/
> "You seem quite nervous and in doubt of intent. Surely you must have some reason deeper than that."

> "What do you mean?" Apple Bloom asked. Her mind suddenly presented her with things she found uncomfortable. Darker secrets and insecurities that she'd rather keep out of the light suddenly in the forefront of her mind.

> It was almost out of her control, like something else was willing it in her own mind.

> The hair was standing upon her neck.

> "I feel that you are hiding something from me. That will not do if you want me to help you with your problems." 

> Apple Bloom felt a sense of panic come upon her.

> Cadence looked upon Apple Bloom with a face that was quite serious and determined. 

> "Do we really have ta? I-I-I why-what are you doing?"

> "The truth is painful I know, but your denial of your nature will hurt you more than me letting this lie last past our meeting here."

> "What?" Apple Bloom couldn't think of anything else to say.

> "There is something you're holding back and you are a fool for doing so."
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 >>/3850/
> "I can see the fear inside you young filly."

> Cadence put on a sinister smile.

> "I can see your fears. I can see your lies, and I can see the foolish path you have taken."

> Apple Bloom looked to Cadence with shock and alarm. 

> She wanted to run.

> She wanted to scream.

> She wanted to cry.

> But... she just stood there.

> She opened her month trying to form words, all that came were half mutters, ending on a pitiful 'why?'

> Cadence seemed to ignore her utterance as her horn became aglow with powerful magic.

> Apple Bloom was bombarded with pure raw emotion as she felt it course through her.

> It never seemed to touch her body though, it was as if emotion itself was simply shining from the light of her horn.
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 >>/3851/
> Cadence eyes almost seemed to glow.

> Apple Bloom couldn't take her eyes off Cadence.

> She was only vaguely aware that Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were still president and they hadn't said anything.

Why aren't they helping me?
> "You're a fool if this is what you fear."

> Apple Bloom saw fuzzy images sneaking into the corner of her eyes.

> "What are ya doin' to me?"

> "Trying to bring your true self into focus."

> Apple Bloom saw the images in the corner of her eyes begin to come in focus.

> They...
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 >>/3852/
> The fish.

> They were armed.

> They were stabbing each other with simple spheres and swords.

> Their guts were scattered on the ground.

> With abstract shapes sometimes in the background.

> They were her drawings.

> They danced around in front of her eyes.

> Apple Bloom tried to look away from them.

> Apple Bloom tried to look at anything else.

> The trees.

> Her friends (who Apple Bloom briefly noted looked all too calm).

> And finally back to Cadence, where their eyes met and Apple Bloom couldn't look away.
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 >>/3853/
> "Why do you fear this?"

> Apple Bloom just looked at Cadence at a loss for words. 

> "Don't deny it, some part of you likes it."

> Apple Bloom knew some part of her liked it, but she didn't want to like it.

> Some part of her felt wrong too.

> Something felt wrong with it all.

> "What is this to you Apple Bloom?"

art
> "Really?" Cadence said in reply.

> Apple Bloom looked at Cadence in shock.

> "Y-y-you can read my mind!"

> Cadence let a light hearted chuckle that contrasted with the fearsome atmosphere.

> "Of course I can. How else do you think I fix, manipulate and twist ponies love lifes?"

> Something about that sounded wrong to Apple Bloom.
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 >>/3854/
> "It wasn't a power that I embraced till I became this though."

> Apple Bloom could still see the fish dancing in her vision, though her mind was far clearer as her fear had somewhat subsided by Cadence's sudden change to a more calm demeanor.

> "And that is what I fear you are doing to yourself: suppressing your nature. Harming your true potential."

> Apple Bloom looked to Cadence with a mix of distrust and confusion.

> "What, my drawings? The weird creepy stuff?"

> Cadence simply smiled, almost pleasantly, minus the fangs.

> "Yes"

> "What about them?" Apple Bloom, truly confused, asked.

> "Their violence, their gore, their utter strangeness. Everything."
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 >>/3855/
> Apple Bloom thought of Cadence's words.

> "Isn't that kind of wrong?"

> "Yeah, sure its kind of messed up. But tell me what your desire for it?"

> Apple Bloom hadn't really thought of why she had liked it.

> It had all started when Cheerilee had given the art lecture. 

> She had touched, ever so briefly, on earlier folk and found art movements.

> Though the whole idea of art (and most of the lecture did) bore her, this had gotten a bit of her interest do to her mentioning that it had been a primarily an earth pony lead movement, as opposed to most of high culture that was usually unicorn led.

> Enough for her to research it further on her own.

> What she had found seemed to just barely, barely light a small spark within her.

> She did further research on art on the fringes of society, anti-art, poor art, and even a hipster art movement called yellowish, though she hadn't really gotten into those movements and found most of it kind of strange she had soon decided that she ought to try something.

> And soon it was, she had been drawn from what small exposure she had to the strange and violent.

> "I don't know... I guess I just wanna, make something strange?"
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 >>/3856/
> "Is strange bad?" Cadence asked.

> Apple Bloom thought about it for a moment.

> "No, but I think violent thoughts are... and I do find myself feelin' a little carried away."

> Cadence let out a laugh.

> "Yeah, right. You're just expressing a darker side of yourself. It's nothing to be afraid of. I don't sense any potential for you to do anything stupid with it."

> Apple Bloom felt very weird.

I'm don't think Apple Jack or Granny would approve...
> "Since when did a preteen filly care with what her older sister or grandmother think?"

> Apple Bloom looked at Cadence with annoyance.

> "You don't have to read my mind ya'know?"

> "You don't have to be so weak minded either, young filly. Besides you know the words are say are true," Cadence said with a rather mischievous smile. "There is probably plenty of times you lied through your teeth to hide stuff, why not this?"

> Apple Bloom wasn't sure what to say. 

> Cadence words were indeed true.

> She hated it, yet part of her could see the logic of it at the same time.

> "So why don't you just explore it a little and see were it goes?"

> Apple Bloom signed. "I guess you're right... but you could be a little less creepy with all this.
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 >>/3857/
> "No, I can't. That's part of my nature now. At least when I'm like this."

> Apple Bloom looked Cadence's fearsome form over. The wings, the fags, the strange bat like ears, it was beautiful in a way, but also gave Apple Bloom quite negative feeling.

> "Well it seems I must bid you fare well," Cadence said as her wings began to flap, lifting her into the air."

> "Bye!" Apple Bloom heard Sweetie Belle shout cheerfully. 

> She glanced to see Sweetie and Scootaloo as happy and normal as ever. As if none of the events had transpired. 

> Or maybe they had? After all, she had to admit that was pretty cool.

> Though still a little unnerving. 

> Apple Bloom watched as Cadence flew high into the air. 

> It was rather elegant, if not a bit odd to see the bat-like movements as she disappeared to somewhere higher up on the mountain.

> Apple Bloom turned to her friends. She noticed they were already chatting amongst themselves.

> And for some strange reason Sweetie Belle was dressed in a blue dress with a spear...

Huh?
> "You can wake up Apple Bloom..."

> "Wake up..."

> "Do something creative..."
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 >>/3858/
> Apple Bloom eyes shot open.

> She jerked up. She glanced around the room and...

Was that all just a dream?
> Apple Bloom felt her heart racing, she was a little sweaty.

I guess it was...
> It wouldn't make any sense otherwise. Well, it shouldn't make any sense otherwise anyway.

> After all, intervening in dreams was Luna's domain not Cadence's.

> Was it? 

> Apple Bloom decided rather than being lost in her thoughts she ought to get a drink of water from the kitchen and perhaps write the dream down.

> Or draw...

> Apple Bloom soon found herself at the desk.

> Her pencil was moving, strange ideas being put to paper.

> And somewhere, a certain Princess in the night was smiling.
 >>/3859/
And there it is. The fic that I've been tensing for the last month or so is finally out there. I overall have mixed but more positive feelings than the last one. Their are several things going on with this fic and a few details of its creation that I'll explain at a later time along with my replies.  See ya around endpone!
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 >>/3861/
Well, this fic I am mostly pleased with. Partly as a finished product, partly as a stepping stone. It ain't perfect but I feel very good compared to where it started as a purely mechanical exercise like the first one. When I decided to put Cadence in I didn't originally foresee how she's change the atmosphere. Her charisma and confidence are a more developed state than the first fic that's for sure. I see her as a wise guide,  though perhaps a little morally gray  . She felt Apple Bloom's distress from robbing the fields every night and perhaps just decided to take a peak. There was a second version of this though that I may reuse later that would involved another character and a debate on several different things but it felt chunky compared to Bat Cadence's chrisma and fear, which had a straightforward dynamic that I think works better for this one.   

As for the images. I specifically had envisioned that with what I could draw it look good for a possibly creepy dream child like dream story, with using normal images from derpibooru for the parts back in real life. Several sets of images where made but the one problem that I constantly faced was Cadence's lackluster appearance at times. Her slender body I couldn't manage, at least with the hardware I have now. I originally had it ready to post a fair bit eariler. Notice how most of the pictures are numbered till the end? I had taken the what I considered to be the best from all the image sets and numbered them in order of use for minimal confusion for posting, yet I backed out because I decided I still didn't like the Cadences. The Cadence pic I used for most of the her appearances in some edited forms was actually a prototype asset that is from another ongoing project that I've been working on. She wasn't perfect but she fit hear perfectly and was better than the others  you showed her true potential in the edit thread though  So I just used that pic in various quick edits and figured it already went well with the mix of styles anyway. There is still plenty I think I could've done better but I think I still managed to achieve an atmosphere with them so I can't complain.  

 Bat Cadence is far from dead. 
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Twilight Sparkle fired her laser. The magic from her horn ripping through th air as it made it's way to the dark form below. ~Gotta be worth it, ain't it?~ Twilight Sparkle fired another laser blast towards the crystal, but the crystal stopped short when a burst of dark magic cut up everything in its path. The Crystal itself continued to move and bounce forward after the shot, eventually catching up with it and ending up behind it in a spin.

"Twilight Sparkle, are you all right?" Rarity asked.

"I'm just worried." Twilight Sparkle said with a sigh.

"Why was you worried?" Rarity asked.

Twilight smiled sadly. "I guess this whole situation has blown my mind. Maybe one day, I'll find the right balance. I don't know how long I'll live, but something about these events has left me in despair."

"You may be gone, but do tell me one more thing. Who made you that way? Who made you so angry?" Rarity

Saw this on /mlp/. They were using it for different purposes than this. Honestly I'd be fun to try to run with something here as a story.
https://talktotransformer.com/
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Cadence horn glowed. The details of her face lit dimly amidst the pitch black Everfree forest. Though Twilight expected something a bit more threatening, only a mischievous smirk greeted her. " You found me," The bat pony said with a bitter laugh. " Now what's your plan?" Twilight's thoughts were interrupted by another groan. The small cave was covered with a thick layer of dried up flesh -- something she had never seen before. What she saw stunned her -- the thing seemed to be eating someone. The beast had teeth. But the thing didn't seem to care. It turned to the bat girl and took the bat out of her mouth with little resistance.   "I've got you, my little bird," The bat pony began. She turned to the small girl and started licking her face, making a little noise. The bat pony continued to lick her, but when the girl reached her hand, it was gone and replaced by something else. A dark yellowish brown with blue spots. The thing quickly

wat
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 >>/4082/
> Saw this on /mlp/
someone is noticing the similarities from a certain mare that appeared in a dream, isn´t he? 

> Honestly I'd be fun to try to run with something here as a story. 
so,you are saying that the story can come from the automatic program out of a few words posted over there. 

 >>/4083/
did you actually type this or does this program tend to write really gore stories? I mean, the first lines make sense but...

> The small cave was covered with a thick layer of dried up flesh.The thing seemed to be eating someone. The beast had teeth. 
> took the bat out of her mouth with little resistance. "I've got you, my little bird,
straight up cannibalism, ladies and gentlemen. We only need Swans as the soundtrack, scary feelings from the horror games and blood that escalate over its 9000th level. 

> She turned to the small girl and started licking her face, making a little noise. The bat pony continued to lick her, but when the girl reached her hand, it was gone and replaced by something else. 
what the actual hell? Are we combining EQG and Equestria here? Unless we are in a gen 1 setting, this makes less sense than OCs meeting and getting excited about the author´s favorite characters.


> wat
literally 10 out of 10. Would murder again and lick a lot of flesh....slowly, by the way.
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So after almost 6 months since this fic has been published/posted over here, I think that I should review or give my personal comments towards this piece of fiction.

Review of: The Mare in the Mountain (Bridgefag, April 2019)

So, in this fic, unlike the original Cadencebat fic in which she had to hide her entity and falling into corruption as something appealing to her, Cadence here is shown as a more "mystical" creature than usual.

The Revolution fic went to some confusing and extraordinary settings that were highly related to political movements/strategies that despite its proper context into this world, it needs a few tries and a little bit more of effort from the reader in order to see how it follows a cohesive logic and progression. 

However, The Mare in the Mountain doesn´t rely on real life elements except for justifying a plot device and a motif for moving the plot forward  >>/3856/ (hipster/anti/poor art that kind of points out the sense of art from society´s standards, even though the editing thread could be a reason to bring this topic on the table).

So by leaving reality aside, this fanfic is much more straight forward  than the Revolution fic and it introduces (with more additions to her transformation) the Mare in the Mountain with a clearer idea of how she is than the original Cadencbat fic.

It´s as certainly confusing for the reader why she is called like that at first as as one gets to know that the actual Princess Cadence has earned a second life of fame. 

I am not going to say that this fanfic would work as complete canon because there are aspects from it that obviously prevent from having this dark direction. 

Nonetheless, the funny dialogue between the CMC before meeting Cadence, the fact that this story advances through a dream, the attempts at justifying its context (Luna could be the one manipulating the dream for Apple Bloom, the inspiration that Apple Bloom had that could have come from Cherilee´s lectures in the school), the recurrent drawings that become relevant in order to transmit a message through the story, etc; all of that could have perfectly fit for a standard story of MLP.

It´s indeed the closest effort from yours that actually makes you feel like this story could have taken place in its universe, the gen 4 reader will feel at home while reading it, so that´s a noteworthy improvement in the storytelling part.
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Backing up what I say about feeling like FiM, it´s that the fic offers room to breathe within its development and let lines like these:
> "Are ya sure ya can't tell me what this Mare on the Mountain is?" 
> "Mare in the Mountain, Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle corrected.
> Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. 

I personally see where this is coming and I can tell that this actually criticizes the constant spelling mistakes written in this board. Not only the sense of comedy is there but the CMC really show their characteristic tropes until the climax, meaning that the author actually acknowledges their personalities even if the story is going through muddy waters that could feel off if it was shown so directly to the reader.

So for the most part, this fanfic will sound familiar to the average fan but where the questions will begin from the start and the climax (not to mention the strange actions from Scootaloo and SB while walking to the place where Cadence appears). The philosophical questions aimed at Apple Bloom, the grim imagery constantly present in her mind and how Cadence goes even further by twisting an intimidating technique: reading the minds of other creatures. She doesn´t only change to a more questionable side of actions, she doesn´t only become a guide for Apple Bloom but she also displays a really creepy yet powerful weapon that she could have exploited in the past:

> Cadence let a light hearted chuckle that contrasted with the fearsome atmosphere.
> "Of course I can. How else do you think I fix, manipulate and twist ponies love lifes?"

Mind f*yay*king blown by reading this. As much as she sounds certainly out of place with those questions, she proves that her true potential and lack of fears towards the wrong things actually drive her to take a step forward, like she knows way more than in theory she should have in the first place. 

The concept of her being a bat isn´t something that one would have explored al that much. This fic doesn´t jump right away to the center of her new feature like the original Cadencebat green did, but instead she receives almost a mystical presentation, wondering who she is and when one gets to her, there are far more questions than answers. There is always a haunting feeling that pays off with a mysterious climax (yet with dark imagery) and one could define it as mental edginess. Not a single moment of violence was brought onto the table yet those tense feelings manage to happen while reading this piece, like a horror movie that is slowly building up before murdering harshly the characters. 


Overall, out of all the fics that you could expose to any gen 4 fan, this one has the right context/introduction, the familiar feelings to an extent and the characters properly written. We haven´t seen the CMC interacting with Cadence at all so the lack of presentations between them could make this fic pretty plausible for its concept. 

The Revolution fic served for a cohesive yet an unfamiliar political piece, while The Mare in the Mountain has that, more lore and even dark implications to Cadence´s character. All of this by bringing original drawings by yourself and while they are not made to post on Derpibooru, one can get the imagery transmitted through those sentences. 

If I had to pick one fanfic from yours and expose it to the public (/mlp/, FimFiction...), this one most likely would get praised from its consumers. 

There you have it, you have written some proper original content that one fan would like to contribute to the fanbase. 

Congratulations.
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 >>/3874/
> this fic I am mostly pleased with. Partly as a finished product, partly as a stepping stone. 
out of all the stories that you have offered from the Bat Pony Cadence series, I feel that this piece stands for itself even though one would get really confused at how she managed to get there.

> When I decided to put Cadence in I didn't originally foresee how she's change the atmosphere. Her charisma and confidence are a more developed state than the first fic that's for sure.
indeed, she feels like really confident at what she does, she almost sounds creepy while asking those questions to Apple Bloom. All the mystery and imagery that surrounds her change the chill out atmosphere that is shown in the first part.

> There was a second version of this though that I may reuse later that would involved another character and a debate on several different things but it felt chunky compared to Bat Cadence's chrisma and fear, which had a straightforward dynamic that I think works better for this one.
I firmly believe that this dynamic works for what you could expose in these settings. If the concept of her being a bat isn´t twisted enough, imagine how things would turn out by exposing her even more.

> I specifically had envisioned that with what I could draw it look good for a possibly creepy dream child like dream story, with using normal images from derpibooru for the parts back in real life. Several sets of images where made but the one problem that I constantly faced was Cadence's lackluster appearance at times. Her slender body I couldn't manage, at least with the hardware I have now. 
I get that, especially with lack of pictures related to her. There are almost zero pictures that involve Cadence and the CMC and none of them show Cadence as a mentor for the CMC.

> I originally had it ready to post a fair bit eariler. Notice how most of the pictures are numbered till the end? I had taken the what I considered to be the best from all the image sets and numbered them in order of use for minimal confusion for posting,
eeeyup. I will admit that not all of them are clearly defined but one gets to imagine the settings while reading the text. They are simply meant to give a clear idea where this plot goes.

> I backed out because I decided I still didn't like the Cadences. The Cadence pic I used for most of the her appearances in some edited forms was actually a prototype asset that is from another ongoing project that I've been working on. She wasn't perfect but she fit hear perfectly and was better than the others you showed her true potential in the edit thread though 
Ironically enough, that´s the best picture one can get some inspiration despite not originally belonging here. Besides that one,  >>/3849/ and  >>/3855/ look as the better ones out of the bunch.

> So I just used that pic in various quick edits and figured it already went well with the mix of styles anyway. There is still plenty I think I could've done better but I think I still managed to achieve an atmosphere with them so I can't complain.
as long as those options offer solutions to your ideas, that´s fair enough. There is always room for improvement but as far as I am concerned, the writing style and the proper placement for its settings are what stand out to me the most for the experience and my views towards this product. The imagery will be or won´t be done better at some point in the future but if the words are properly matched and make sense, the rest becomes secondary.

> Bat Cadence is far from dead. 
hopefully you are right.

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